Girardi Party Playoff Party

I feel like I'm ready to talk college football playoffs. I've been holding out on this for a while, but a few things have happened to make me REALLY SUPER PISSED over the last few weeks...

• Arguing last night alongside my cousin against my drunken Notre Dame-fan uncle, who, in addition to stating that there should never be a playoff, claimed that Notre Dame shouldn't even go to a bowl game "because they'll just be continuing their same bad practice habits."
• Just thinking about the Bowl games now... none of them matters except the Title game. At all. At this point, I'd rather see a return to the traditional Bowl alignments than the BCS! That way, you'd have one-loss Oklahoma, USC, Penn State, and Florida all playing for a share of the national championship, and all their respective oppontents trying their best to ruin their seasons! Isn't that more interesting than only one game anyone really cares about? Sure, I'll still watch the Rose Bowl, but knowing that it's not going to weigh into the national title discussion at all takes some excitement out of it... OK, a LOT of excitement.
  
• Arguing with "el Tomas Verde" on 4th and Fail about his stupid playoff proposal—simply taking the top 8 BCS teams—which would never, ever, ever, ever, ever happen.
  
• Reading Pat Forde's pathetic, self-righteous whining that Texas got screwed. You know what, Texas? Stop it. Texas apologists? Stop it. I'm not saying the system is right—far from it—but everyone who has watched any college football during the BCS era knows that timing is everything. If Oklahoma had gotten left out, you'd never hear the end of it from Sooner fans, either. Three Big XII South teams finished with only one loss. Yes, Texas beat Oklahoma head-to-head. But it was early enough in the season that voters had essentially forgotten about it when OU knocked off Texas Tech. If you're talking head-to-head matchups, why should Texas have gone to the Big XII title game over Oklahoma, when Texas was beaten by Texas Tech? Clearly, the only solution is for Mike Leach, Mack Brown, and Bob Stoops to play a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Alright. I'm now going to lay out the rules for GIRARDI PARTY PLAYOFF PARTY. This is not anything earth-shattering, but I wanted to get my proposal out there before that Muslim terrorist we just elected president declares jihad on the BCS. Bear in mind, neither this nor any other playoff will happen under the current BCS contract, because according to many sources, language preventing a playoff is actually written into the BCS's contract with ESPN.

Girardi Party Playoff Party

• Following the regular season and conference championship games (more on those in a minute), a committee would select eight teams to move on to college football's Division IA playoff. These selections would mostly be a formality, and would happen a lot like the BCS Selection Show now: basically, a glorified revealing of the final poll of the season.
  
• The only way a playoff would ever be accepted by the major conferences and college presidents would be if everyone got their piece of the pie, like the BCS now. So, the winners of the six BCS conferences (ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big XII, Pac-10, SEC) would get automatic berths into the playoffs. The same rules would also be in effect for non-BCS teams and Notre Dame that exist now—namely, that ND gets in automatically if it's in the top 12, and any non-BCS-conference team gets in automatically if it's in the top 8.
• If any spots remain after the auto-bids are taken care of, up to two at-large teams could be selected for the playoffs, as well.
• In order to keep the "tradition" alive, the four BCS sites would host the first round games of the playoffs, and much like the case today, the title game would rotate between the four sites.
• Second-round matchups (i.e., the "Final Four") would be home games for the higher-seeded remaining teams.
  
• In terms of seeding, there would be no preference for conference champions—that is, all eight teams are seeded by a committee in the order they believe to be 1 through 8. No intra-conference matchups in the first round.

Let's take a look at what we would have had this year... try not to explode in your shorts thinking about the sheer awesomeness.

First Round - December 24/26
1. Oklahoma vs. 8. Utah at the Rose Bowl
2. Florida vs. 7. Virginia Tech at the Fiesta Bowl
3. USC vs. 6. Cincinnati at the Sugar Bowl
4. Texas vs. 5. Penn State at the Orange Bowl

We can project winners for these games pretty easily, except perhaps for the 4/5 game, and we'd be left with the Final Four on New Year's Day—that's a tradition I could get used to.

"Final Four" - January 1
1. Oklahoma vs. 4. Texas, at Oklahoma
2. Florida vs. 3. USC, at Florida

And finally, assuming higher seeds prevail...

Title Game - January 8
1. Oklahoma vs. 2. Florida, at the Orange Bowl

Now, this year, if all held to form, we'd have the same matchup that we do in the BCS Title Game. All questions, however, would be answered. This works because the Bowls still get to host their big games and make their money. The conferences are guaranteed their money. The fans get to plan their trips to Bowl games, watch on TV, or be rewarded with an extra home game. Everyone gets to see what they do with the very successful NCAA Basketball Tournament: one unquestioned champion, tons of exciting games, and lots of sponsorship exposure.

Look: A potential Oklahoma/Texas rematch on New Year's Day. JoePa gets his crack at a national championship, after all, as does Utah. You have the potential for a "Cinderella" if VaTech or Cincy could catch someone napping. ESPN gets a week between each round to build up anticipation and hype for the games. The season ends on the same day that it does with the current arrangement and the Bowls don't start any earlier.

People, however, like my drunk uncle, are still arguing against a playoff. They have dozens of excuses for why it's a bad idea and why the Bowls are the best system, etc. Let's debunk some of these arguments, right now, and put in a few more caveats while we're at it.


It would ruin the tradition of the Bowls
With this arrangement, the big Bowl games still get to host huge matchups—granted, not on New Year's Day—and make tons of money. Every four years, as happens now, each Bowl will also get to host the Title Game. And I'm sorry, but I can't even think of a viable argument against the Final Four teams being rewarded with an extra home game; these teams will almost always be the 1 and 2 seeds, and they have extremely difficult games. Giving them home-field advantage sufficiently rewards them for a great regular season.

And in terms of the other Bowls, go ahead, play 'em! They make money, and there would still be some lucrative matchups and big names out there to play for pride. I don't think that I would bemoan the loss of the grand tradition of the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, but for those people who care, the sponsors who pony out the dough, and the teams who still want to travel and end their season on a high note, nobody would be stopping them.

The season is too long / The kids are students and have finals
First: no, they are not students. Most student-athletes, even at major NCAA powers, are students first and foremost, yes. But not Division 1A football players, and especially not at places like Oklahoma, Texas, Penn State, USC, and Florida. The vast majority of those kids are there to play football. And frankly, I don't care too much that they get extra help and get pushed through the system—they make so much money for these places that any extra attention they get is them getting paid back by their university.

Beside that, GPPP would start on Christmas Eve, long after finals are over. Even at an awful place like Michigan where finals go until the 23rd, alternate arrangements could be made, like you always see with NCAA hoops players taking exams at their hotels. So please, anyone who is standing on their soapbox rattling off reasons that this playoff is bad for academia, stop it. The BCS—and especially the addition of the fifth Title Game—is a blatant attempt to make as much money as possible. That's it. (Imagine how much money the BCS could make selling TV and sponsorship rights to its playoff...)

The regular season wouldn't mean as much
This is the argument I hear the most. I can see where people are coming from, too. In March Madness, you have 10 to 12 loss teams that are "on the bubble," teams getting in at-large who went .500 in-conference, and teams who can completely mail in their conference tournaments and still be confident in getting a bid.

That, however, would not be the case in a playoff with only eight teams—with only two at-large bids in a good year! Look at the field this year. How many two-loss teams do you see? That's right: none. A second loss would knock you completely out of the playoffs. While we're at it, look at the deserving one-loss and undefeated teams that were left out! Texas Tech suffered one late-season loss and was eliminated. The same goes for Alabama, who would be the team with the biggest beef this year. And then you have undefeated Boise State, who has proven its post-season mettle, still not getting in.

Also bear in mind that conference winners get automatic bids, and then you're REALLY looking at an extremely important regular season. One bad loss in conference could be all that's needed to knock you out of an autobid, leaving you praying for a scarce at-large bid or sending you to the Papajohns.com Bowl. Additionally, even with an playoff bid "locked up," you are still playing for seeding, as you want to be the team hosting that Final Four game, not going on the road!

(A side note about conference champions: I hate the conference championship games, but I understand that they're not going anywhere because of the money involved. That said, "divisions" are the stupidest idea in the history of mankind. The whole OU/Texas controversy this year could have been avoided if the conferences simply didn't have divisions, and the two highest-rated teams went to the conference title game every year, period. Oh, boo hoo, Kansas and Missouri; Oklahoma and Texas are always the best two teams? Too bad. Build a better program. We could have had a de facto playoff this year, with the Big XII and SEC winners being the "Final Four," but that was ruined by the Big XII intentionally loading its South division so that the crappy North teams have a chance, too.)

Teams will still get left out
This one really grinds my geahs. OF COURSE teams are still going to get left out. Unless you orchestrate a season-long playoff of all the Division 1 teams, somebody's not going to be invited to the party. You want the playoff to be exclusive and difficult to get into so that the regular season will still matter, remember? Think about the teams who would have the best arguments that they got screwed this year if there were a playoff. Texas Tech? Yes... but they got thumped by Oklahoma and barely squeaked by Baylor, and didn't win their conference. Sorry. Alabama? Perhaps, but when you compare Texas with Tech and 'Bama, Texas has the more impressive résumé; its wins hold up better now. Boise State? Yes, they have a legitimate complaint. They, however, play in a dog of a conference and would have been there if not getting shown up by Utah, who plays in a better conference and played a much tougher schedule as a result. Too bad.

Basically, you have to win your BCS conference, or be one of the one or two best teams outside of that to get in. Teams will get left out, but those left-out teams have much weaker arguments that they belong there than the teams who actually got in. Honestly, what would you be more upset about: the fact that questionable Alabama, Boise, and Tech teams didn't get a chance in the playoffs? Or that one-loss Texas, who beat one of the Title Game competitors head to head, doesn't get a chance to play for a national championship? If teams are going to be left out regardless, best to be more inclusive rather than less.


Note: I think that the weakest part of my proposal is the fact that the BCS Bowl games have to move to an earlier date, but it's a necessary evil to make sure that all four Bowls get an equal shot every year. One way to change this would be to make the 1 and 2 seeds play their home games in the first round instead, with the 3 and 4 seed first round games, the final four, and the title game all rotating amongst the BCS bowls to make them happy. I just figured that my way was a bit more egalitarian.

Inaccurate Sports Scenes Nobody Will Ever Care About: Rocko's Modern Life

Remember the old Rocko's Modern Life where Rocko and Mr. Bighead were facing off in the finals of their bowling league? Mr. Bighead had won some ridiculous number of years in a row, and Rocko had just started bowling, so, being the surly guy that he was, it bothered Mr. Bighead that Rocko got to the finals and was hanging with him in the final game.

Anyway, Rocko and Mr. Bighead got down to the tenth frame, with Mr. Bighead bowling last. When he stepped up to shoot, the announcers noted that he needed only one pin to win the league. (You mean your bowling league doesn't have announcers?) If you've seen the episode, you know that Mr. Bighead, in an act of sheer defiance, kicks the ball down the gutter intentionally for his first shot, and ends up completely destroying every inch of the bowling alley—except for the pins—with his second shot. In the last scene of the episode, Rocko wins the league trophy—in quite humble and gracious fashion, I might add. Very funny stuff, but that's not the issue here.

My question is: How can Mr. Bighead have needed only one pin to win the league? If he needed just one pin, that implies that he and Rocko were tied heading into the final frame; if Rocko were ahead, one pin would have, at best, tied him. Assuming they were tied, one pin would win the league, yes, but wouldn't the fact that he rolled a zero on his tenth frame leave them tied? Instead, Rocko immediately won. I would think that the two would have to play another game to determine the league championship.

Or maybe Mr. Bighead's league had some bylaw concerning tiebreakers, à la the Big Ten and the Rose Bowl, where the first tiebreaker is that last year's team can never go a second consecutive year.

Or maybe they did play a tiebreaker game but it was edited out in the interests of time.

I'm not sure. All I do know is that when you need just one point to win, in any sport, you're probably tied. (I'm sure there's some example where this is not true, but I think enough thought's been put into this for one night.) GP, out.

A few observations from the Richmond game and the parts of the UNC-UK game I could stomach

Syracuse-Richmond
-Arinze looked solid as hell. I don't care who it was against, he didn't even miss a free throw (he took one). His touch looks amazing.
-Devendorf didn't show much ill effect from the ACL, including his own personal 8 point burst near the middle of the 2nd half.
-Andy, however, just never looked comfortable out there and had an ofer from he field.
-I guess Mookie is considered a project? Hopefully he continues to get minutes in blowouts, or he stole someone's ID.
-I felt like Devo dropped acid for those 2 consecutive travels.
-Jonny, why can't you dunk ON people? You always can dunk with space, but when there's someone under you, you hit the back rim. So, Nancy Kerrigan asks:

Must be something really hard in the rim (of the color black?).
-So many instances of the Boeheim face that one could not count them on just the hands, they would need toes and maybe even ears.
-This morning on Anthony Gargano's show on WIP, the kings of sports talk in Philadelphia, they couldn't stop talking about how dumb McNabb was for not knowing there were ties in the NFL, as well as how Jim Boeheim declared he did not know about NFL ties, which led them to call Boeheim dumb too. My question for Mr. Gargano is not a question. It is a statement in bold: JIM BOEHEIM IS A FUCKING COLLEGE BASKETBALL COACH YOU FUCKING RUSTY TROMBONIST. SINCE WHEN DOES HE NEED TO KNOW THE FUCKING NFL RULEBOOK? MAYBE HE DOESN'T EVEN WATCH THE NFL YOU FREQUENT RECIPIENT OF CLEVELAND STEAMERS. I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A NARWHAL. THE HORN OF A NARWHAL YOU SHITBRAIN.

UNC-UK
-I bet His Airness suggested the non-button-down with the pinstripe suit for Psycho T to wear on the bench, except Hansbrough forgot the gold chain around the neck. Tyler should instead listen to another former Carolina player: Rasheed Wallace, who sits on the bench in uniform even if he is hurt.
-Patrick Patterson and Deon Thompson are 2 of the better big men in the country. The difference between the two? The guards on Patrick Patterson's team all play like they had their hands chopped off.
-When Dick Vitale starts verbally masturbating to players on Duke or UNC, it makes me write text messages that read like so:

"I want to punch Dick Vitale in the ovaries, then punch Tyler Hansbrough in the fallopian tube, and then bang EA."

Yeah, I'm fucking serious about this. emancipateusfromdickvitale.com coming soon?

That is all for now. I'll be back on Sunday with some power rankings, where I will take these and update them for this week and hopefully for every week the rest of the season. Until then, watch out for the Joe Biden experience...coming soon!

College Basketball is LIFE

And life this past week was watching Barack Obama soundly defeat John McCain in the US Presidential election. Why do I mention this? Because of its similarity to the 1990 NCAA Final, where UNLV absolutely destroyed Duke (unique style/black soundly destroys regular Republican attack/white campaign) and represented an affirmation that there was a more appealing style of basketball that involved watching Bobby Hurley and Christian Laettner get their asses dunked on. Krzyzewski was like McCain at the time, having built up prestige but never making it to the top (but he didn't have a rivalry with his father and grandfather). Tark was taking on the NCAA and its monopolistic practices while chewing on a towel (and his parents were Armenian immigrants).
But now, back to the semi-sloth life I plan to live under an Obama presidency. There is nothing I love more than sitting around on a weekend and watching college basketball from noon until 1AM, but things done changed this year. I hate being obtrusive, but with no cable where I'm currently living (and probably none where I will be next semester), I have to burden someone, whether it be a restaurant or a person who actually has cable, in order to practice this comfort activity.
And fuck it I will NOT stop doing this. Not with the amazing talent and not with the prospects of my Syracuse Orange(men) (FINALLY NOT OVERRATED!) this year. College basketball looks like it will be real good this year. Everyone is talking about UNC this year, but come on, we talk about UNC every year. They didn't lose anyone but Quentin Thomas last year who was a steady replacement for the injured Ty Lawson, who should be healthier, which will make things even easier for Roy Williams. And damn, he is going to start feeling pressure. Connecting the prestige of UNC to the skill and daft recruiting of Roy Williams leads to preseason national championship predictions every year. No Hansbrough for an unspecified amount of time as well as Marcus Ginyard set to miss some time will have its effects, but the Tar Heels still have that Tar Heel talent and Williams' excellent secondary break strategy that Ty Lawson will use to easily destroy teams. Could they get trapped with that Extra Super Tuesday matchup with Kentucky? Yes. But the Heels should still be a 1 seed in the tournament, and here are my other three 1 seeds:
Louisville: Rick Pitino got off to a bad start in his return to the Big East with the Cardinals in 2005-06, the year after the Final Four. But Pitino has made excellence strides with this team, with the late run in 2007 to get into the tournament, and have parlayed that momentum to a near Final Four appearance last year and a very strong team right now. Earl Clark is going to play like a top 5 pick this year. Terrence Williams is tenacious on defense and is a great contributor. Jerry Smith, Edgar Sosa, and Preston Knowles will be improved as all Pitino-coached players do between seasons, and will help Williams keep up the intensity of Pitino's signature pressure defense . The distraction that is Derrick Caracter has left the building. At one time, Caracter was THE center prospect in high school, until Greg Oden destroyed him in an ABCD game, leading to a downfall that included him declaring for the NBA Draft last season...before the NCAA Tournament. The front court will be pretty inexperienced, especially without the amazing passing of David Padgett, who looked like Brian Brohm threading the needle on backdoor passes to the tune of 2 assists per game. Terence Jennings and Samardo Samuels are going to need to step in immediately with no other big men on the roster, and they will need to play consistently, and well, for the Cardinals to have the regular season I'm expecting of them.
Connecticut: I can't stress how much I hate UConn and Georgetown, but when Syracuse (a subject I will return to later) gets eliminated or mistakenly left out of the tournament, you have to cheer for one of these teams. And UConn is the one you can also put your money on. AJ Price may be really old and did commit a misdemeanor when he stole those laptops, but he can still play and was an amazing point guard for this team last year, and probably could have gone farther in the tournament if he hadn't torn his ACL in the 1st round game against San Diego. Hasheem Thabeet will just keep getting better and will join Clark in the top 5 next year, mostly due to being 7'3" and having a gigantic wing span, but also an improved inside game that will make him tough to deal with. And don't forget his relative touch on free throws (69.8% last year) that makes him even more valuable.
The Huskies look exactly like UNC last year, with no seniors on the roster to lose, but they did add some players, although CJ Miles is gone. Kemba Walker and Scotty Haralson will provide depth at guard that will help Jim Calhoun avoid the tragedy (well, satisfying ending for me) to the UConn season last year.
Michigan State: Drew Neitzel was a consistent presence last year, but playing to his style made the Spartans boring. Their lack of true punch led them to be eliminated by Pitt in the 2nd round. Raymar Morgan will be the featured member of this team, with his size and ability to step outside and penchant for great defense. Marquise Gray and Goran Suton further solidify the frontcourt. Kalin Lucas will be a great pacekeeper for this team, and they will destroy the Big Ten with ease. And this.
#2 seeds:
Duke: Like Andre Nickatina does you, I hate Duke with a passion. But Krzyzewski has a nasty squad fielded this year. Nolan Smith will probably take over for Duke's all-time underperformer (well, second to Chris Carrawell) Greg Paulus at the point. Lance Thomas, Kyle Singler, Jon Scheyer and Gerald Henderson (most of all) will be nasty as usual. You know Coach K reloaded with another amazing recruiting class, led by big Miles Plumlee, who will probaly be platooning with Thomas unless Zoubek magically starts to improve his game, meaning that he will be platooning with both Zoubek and Thomas.
UCLA: Ben Howland adores every round of the tournament except for ones after the Round of 16. He took the Bruins to the Final Four two of the past three years, and to the Elite Eight last year, each time being eliminated by a championship game participant. Ben may have trouble getting this team to the Sweet 16 this year, especially since the 2 most talented players from last year's team were lottery picks (Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook) and the most powerful player (Luc Richard Mbah a Moute: he is a fucking prince!) was picked by the Bucks in the 2nd round. Jrue Holiday and Malcolm Lee will lead a solid freshman class, and Darren Collison and Josh Shipp are back. The post will not be as strong this year, as Alfred Aboya is not the offensive player (in scoring or in passing) that Love was. And Nikola Dragovic assaulted his ex-girlfriend!
Pittsburgh: I find it funny when a team falls victim to Jeremy McNeil. And the year that Syracuse won the national title, Pitt, at the Dome and by default about to become the #1 team in the country with a win (Arizona lost earlier that week to Stanford), Jeremy McNeil pulled the rug out from under them by hitting both ends of a one-and-one (Carmelo said after the game: "He never could do it in practice, and then we always gotta run.") and then tipping in a miss to put Syracuse up by 2 with less than a second left. Probably the most ridiculous celebration that side of the Hakim throwing the ball in the air against Notre Dame with way too much time on the clock later that year. Now, things are different. Still, Syracuse has been ranked #1, and Pitt, still never. Sam Young and Levance "Broken Legs" Fields are back, along with local hero DeJuan Blair. Jamie Dixon has by far his best recruiting class ever coming in led by Nasir Robinson.
Oklahoma: If I were to play against Blake Griffin, I'd shit myself too. Jeff Capel also has some real solid guards in Austin Johnson and and Kyle Crocker, whose mom made brownies for the team before their first game. Willie Warren is a welcome addition to the back court depth. But fuck, Blake Griffin is a fucking force. Sorry for cussin'.
#3 Seeds
Texas: I wasn't a firm believer in DJ Augustin last year, and now that he is with the Bobcats, I still am not. Damion James started playing really well, finally getting the chance to be out of the shadow cast by Kevin Durant (not doing so well himself in Oklahoma City). Dexter Pittman and Connor Atchley are solid up front. AJ Abrams is still there, and Justin Mason may be able to put together his freshman year (great shooting numbers and mediocre assist and turnover numbers) with last year (mediocre shooting and improved assist and turnover numbers). From among Harrison Smith, freshman Varez Ward, and Dogus Balbay, someone must improve or their back court will be weak like Syracuse last year (more on that later).
Kentucky: Billy Gillespie is about to work a miracle, and might get himself some Ashley Judd poon as payment. He did have a tough year last year but managed to beat Tennessee and get a tournament bid. This year? I bet Patrick Patterson is way healthier and he is definitely a dark horse first-team All-American pick, but I think he will have that solid year. Jodie Meeks in the back court and Perry Stevenson in the front court need to step up in order that Kentucky can play up to their potential.
Gonzaga: By far my favorite mid-major for being the birthplace of the Morristache. Austin Daye is what Pat Calathes could never be: a 6'10" guard who can dominate games. Josh Heytvelt is back, and no word whether he will get any magic mushrooms references from announcers is the Zags go far in the Dance. Jeremy Pargo, Matt Bouldin, and Micah Downs will handle well, and Mark Few also brought in a good class of freshmen that will make this team even more dangerous with their depth.
Purdue: A team with a nasty streak is the best way to classify the Boilermakers under Matt Painter. Gene Keady taught him how to play Purdue basketball, and his teams sure play it better than any of Keady's ever did. The core of E'Twaun Moore, Robbie Hummel, Keaton Grant, and Chris Kramer. Scott Martin would be on this list, but he transferred to Notre Dame for undisclosed reasons. But Purdue still returns 7 players who averaged more than 15 minutes per game and I think they will improve on their second round appearance in the tournament, as long as Keady didn't teach Painter how to choke.
#4 Seeds
Memphis: A lot was lost last year, including what seemed like a sure national title, but also the amazing Derrick Rose, who returned to Chicago to suit up for the Bulls, and the maniacal Joey Dorsey, who might actually make me shit my pants more than Blake Griffin if I were to guard him. Calipari brought in Tyreke Evans and Wesley Witherspoon to help make up for the loss, and Antonio Anderson, Robert Dozier, Shawn Taggart, Robert Dozier, Willie Kemp, and Andre Allen will be more than ready to increase their output to fill the void. And Pierre Henderson-Niles? Well, PETA had some choice words that may have led him to devour a few PETA members.
Davidson: I'll be the first to say that this ranking may end up being too high. Stephen Curry may be the best player in the country this year. I think he may have been the best last year, but Tyler Hansbrough just makes all hose sportswriters ejaculate with all his grit and being white. Stephen will have a but of a tougher year this year, especially without the dude feeding him the ball as Jason Richards, last year's national assists leader, graduated. The bulk of last year's team is gone, so Andrew Lovedale, Stephen Rossi and Zach from Saved by the Bell (Amirite? AMIRITE?!?!?) will have to step up, as well as the coach's son, Brendan.
Arizona State: Geez, it's been a while. Herb Sendek built up a team at NC State, and now one from Tempe is about to rise. James Harden could end up being a first-team All-American if the Sun Devils live up to expectations this year. Jeff Pendergraph wants to earn his own honors in his senior year, and Harden's fellow sophomore Ty Abbott will also be key to a good season.
Florida: Billy Donovan got a tough break when Jai Lucas asked to transfer because he wanted time at point guard, a position filled easily by Nick Calathes, who was solid last year. Billy did lock out his team last year, and if that doesn't make them angry about playing in the fucking NIT, I don't know what will. Eloy Vargas and Kenneth Kadji lead a group of 6 freshmen to add to 5 sophomores and only one junior and one senior. Give Billy a year to get back to the Final Four, because this group can definitely do it.
Meaningless Preseason Award Tour with Mohammed my man, going to each and every place with a mic in my hand:
Player of the Year: Hansbrough will win it, but I think Blake Griffin may just do so much at Oklahoma and Hansbrough may be out indefinitely for so long that Griffin will take it.
Coach of the Year: Vast improvement is the hallmark of this one, so I'm giving it to Billy Donovan, who may next make his players go kill an alligator to eat if they end up in the NIT again this year.
Freshman of the Year: USC lost a lot last year. OJ Mayo is with the Grizz in the League, and Davon Jefferson is with the Heat...the Maccabi Haifa Heat. USC is left with a team devoid of a scorer until Master P shows up and offers Demar DeRozan as long as his son, Lil Romeo, also gets a spot on the team. Now, no other team showed interest in Miller, who might not even be good enough to play in the Ivy League. Actually, I'm 100% sure Lil Romeo would not be able to compete in the Ivy League. But Demar DeRozan should be dominant in the PAC-10, and will probably be way more efficient than OJ ever was.

First Team All-Americans:
C: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
F: Tyler Hansbrough, UNC
F: Patrick Patterson, Kentucky
G: Stephen Curry, Davidson
G: Ty Lawson, UNC

Second Team All-Americans:
C: Hasheem Thabeet, UConn
F: Earl Clark, Louisville
F: Sam Young, Pittsburgh
G: Gerald Henderson, Duke
G: James Harden, Arizona State

Freshman All-Americans:
C: BJ Mullens, Ohio State
F: Al-Farouqq Aminu, Wake Forest
F: Demar DeRozan, USC
G: Scotty Hopson, Tennessee
G: Jrue Holiday, UCLA

Teams for which I have a rooting interest, analyzed:
Syracuse: I fucking love Jonny Flynn. I could give a shit if Donte Greene is getting time in the League (he barely is, but probably will when the Kings miss the playoffs and stop caring), because Jonny Flynn is going to do big things at Syracuse. 5.3 assists last year? With Rautins and Devendorf back, that number will rise. He shot 46% (I am pissed about that, he should have been shooting more with his much more accurate jumper than Donte was) and 35% from 3. Jonny is the barometer on this team, and he will lead them however far they go.
Arinze is fucking solid inside, and hopefully his free-throw touch will be better. And if Rick Jackson can actually make shots in the post (the moves were great, the touch was not)? The inside will be solid. Maybe even Sean Williams will be solid too. Paul Harris will continue to be a bull on the boards and might not be as stupid as he was last year, which includes cooling it with the 3's. Devo and Rautins will make it way easier for everyone if they are on mark, which is highly likely. Mookie Jones and Kris Joseph will be solid additions to the team to replace Donte. I am very excited. Bring on Florida, bring on Memphis, bring on the Big East, and let's see what this team can do.
Penn: That transition year was weird last year. Ibby Jaaber seemed fine without a transition year. So did Mark Zoller. Now, Glen Miller builds. WTF???!?!?!?!? Kevin Egee (cheated on an astronomy exam, off of yours truly) and Brennan Votel are the leaders, although their experience doesn't seem that useful. Darren Smith returns from a year spent being injured. Will he be better? Will this dude from the Bahamas be any good? The sophomores should be ready, as Tyler Bernadini took home the Big 5 Freshman of the Year award last year, and Harrison Gaines looks poised to be the floor general of this offense. There was much turmoil in the starting lineup last year, so if Miller can settle on a 5, the Quakers will be solid. Just wait until after the 1st game (lol UNC).
In one week, Extra Super Tuesday begins, and by golly, I will have a change of pants available. Or a catheter installed.

The Republican Party's Fall As Told Through Sports

As far as we can see, Republicans are nearly extinct. Hell they've been on their way down since Reagan lied his way through making us feel happy while actually letting the savings and loan crisis slip through his teflon hands. But right now? Things not looking too good, especially as John McCain chooses "the Gipper" as the movie character most similar to him on "Meet the Press." McCain thinks he will die and become a rallying cry for the Republicans? That's not what I call optimism, but I digress.
Let's just go back to 2006's Gubernational election on Pennsylvania, which boiled down from Democrat vs. Republican to Eagles vs. Steelers, as Ed Rendell, former Philadelphia mayor and still contributor to Eagles postgame on Comcast Sports, beat out Lynn Swann, a HOF Steelers receiver. That really didn't help the Republicans make any headway in our swing state, and Democrats have made huge gains. But how bad is it? Hell, look what Franco Harris is up to right now. Sure makes the Republicans look lacking in the endorsements in Pennsylvania, especially since Rick Santorum has (thankfully) disappeared for good. Even a populist figure couldn't even get close to pulling off an election? Not a very good sign, even with Swann's complete lack of political experience.
And McCain? Look no further than fellow white-haired, aging-so-fast-before-our-eyes Arizona icon Lute Olson, who stepped down from his post as head coach of the Arizona Wildcats last week amid a divorce (his first, as his first wife died of cancer) and a VERY possible NCAA violation (NOT A SMART THING TO DO!) and probably had a stroke (taking care of himself as well as McCain keeps his medical records complete). Probably makes him look worse than McCain, but with this, I'm not sure:


Wow, well, let's go Phillies!
And now for this: this a proper way to do something, and then there is the completely wrong way to do something. Bud Selig did the right thing for Game 5. But he just did it the completely wrong way. Seriously, the adverb to describe how he suspended Game 5: fucktardedly. You either stop it before it becomes official, when even a Sri Lankan would call it a monsoon in the 3rd. But just letting the Phillies fuck up? I don't think so. I can't believe MLB has this fucking stone robot under contract for another 4 years doing a job that he seems to do extremely terribly, except the owners LOVE money, and Selig makes sure they get a shitload. Whatever, like I care about baseball that isn't the Fightins'.

SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET ROWDY

Philadelphia hasn't been this happy since Super Bowl XXXIX, when Donovan reportedly threw up their chances in the last minute. And this is quite a bit more definite. As I am here, I thought I'd write about the atmosphere, because it extends way beyond the South Philadelphia Sports Complex area. EVERYBODY is gettin' perked, both through foreign materials as well as through the success of the Phillies (and some with the foreign materials because of the Phillies). I saw one dude walking around in a Mets hat and generally just getting jeered. People weren't even trying to kick him or anything, just mocking his hat choice! It is amazing.
The day that Philadelphians had yesterday was ethereal. For the first time in the history of the South Philadelphia Sports Complex, two teams played home games on the same day. And The Who played a show at the Wachovia Center while the Phillies played Game 4. Both were preceded by the Eagles beating the Falcons easily. But for all of this I just want you to close your eyes and imagine this: tailgating the Eagles game at 11AM, going to the Eagles game, leaving the Eagles game perked from the victory, having to find a new parking spot (probably not possible, even as Lincoln Financial was, as usual when they are in contention, filled up), tailgating for the Phillies, going into the Phillies game and watching the mass extinction of the World Series' hopes of a species, and then leaving to revel on Broad Street? I'd fucking dig that. That is the opposite of sports fan suicide.
Tonight, I'll be watching at a local bar, and then hopefully tomorrow, I'll be at a parade. To those who doubt my plans, I say, WHY CAN'T US?

THE BUZZER MAKES QUANTUM LEAPS AND OTHER BIG NEWS

So I submitted a list to McSweeney's and LOOK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. Just like Scott Bakula in terms of making the leap, but more of staying in my own body. Okay, stop jumping on my back all of you followers of this blog. Seriously, the four of you have hurt me greatly with this celebration! I feel like fucking Kevin Everett (I know, TOO SOON.). Really, this is the easiest shit to do...ever. It doesn't even take balls, I think it's just consciousness and a pinch of wit. But seriously, Mike Mussina does crossword puzzles everyday, and he's turning to Joba for help compiling a list? No wonder the Yankees missed the playoffs.
Moving on to more meaningful current events, but because of our recession, it seems that Wikipedia has also devolved. I couldn't believe this shit:



The featured article of the day for the English version of Wikipedia...is TYRONE WHEATLEY?!!!?!!111//1/1?!?!?!?1/1/!?1?1?!?! If Wikipedia were the true measure of American attitude to the depression, here is what would be happening right now:
1.) All universities would burned for warmth and the metal scrapped.
2.) In an ode to the Dominican impoverished population's dedication to baseball, children would take all their parents' checks and cash and paper mache them into helmets and pads to play football.

Well, that sounds pretty god damn sad, so I think I'm going to keep it political and move onto some presidential campaign bullshit. First off, on Deadspin, I read that John McCain is getting herbal supplements from Bill Romanowski (The link is so worth it to see the face John McCain will make when he shits himself to death in 4 years). Also, this whole situation implies one thing: John McCain is a steroid user. Look, "Romocop" may be off the juice now, but really, he's probably still on it because who the fuck is going to drug test him now? Does Roger Goodell give a shit about Bill Romanowski? No. But I guess John McCain does, and that shit is big enough that he is willing to take steroids. Didn't Jason Grimsley get busted while he was playing for the Diamondbacks? From what I'm reading, John McCain is very pro-steroid. If he is elected, I'm thinking lots of dudes' balls will shrink and further decrease the birth rate, which should help the approaching overpopulation of the planet. But Sarah Palin will probably grow balls.
And the vice presidential debate! Never has losing looked so much like winning to every idiot pundit in our country! I went to the gym after the debate and I was only listening as those idiot talking heads "analyzed" the debates. And for some reason, the fact that she didn't lose that badly was a victory for the McCain campaign. I'm sorry, but she came off, and I know this next sentence will be the most offensive thing I will EVER put on this blog, but she came off to me as being even more retarded than her infant child. In foreign policy, she made the most common bullshit Republican misconception on Iran her main point: Ahmadinejad is in control of Iran. In reality, it was sort of like how Lane Kiffin was reportedly in control of the Raiders. And her plan to put the American embassy to Israel in Jerusalem? That one was pretty much out of left field no country has an embassy in Jerusalem proper and no one is proposing it), and will pretty much piss off every Palestinian ally and make a peace deal that much more unlikely if she and McCain do bring that up. She only had talking points. She had no response to anything that Biden said, and he gave her something she couldn't even defend herself about when he made fun of the Bridge to Nowhere, which she reportedly actually took the money for but then didn't have it built. Funny thing is that in Wasilla, if you get sexually assaulted, you have to pay out of your own pocket for the pap smear, and she has all that extra money, and NOW she is about women's rights? Sarah Palin is a sick fucking joke who in reality has such a lack of foreign policy experience that I could teach her something in a debate, which is sad.
Anyways, all this shows is that McCain is Bob Dole redux (he was also a war hero you know, and essentially also an incompetent liar). And if our country somehow elects him, well, I'll just miss Bill Clinton a whole lot more. Please don't elect him. PLEASE. Too bad Syracuse can't lose a game to increase my faith in the world.

THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO SYRACUSE FOOTBALL IN A LONG TIME!

Now, this result may be disheartening to some (eg Greg Robinson) but the rest of syracuse should be celebrating! It is the program's low-point under G-Rob (Pasqualoni's: take your pick: loss to Temple on the missed PAT or the loss at Rutgers where Rich "Chris Hovan ain't got nothin' on me in the being psychotic on the field attribute" Scanlon ran into the stands in New Brunswick to protect his mother), but if this doesn't wake up Daryl Gross from his retarded dream-like state like a baby alligator biting his dick, well, Daryl Gross is in one helluva retarded dream-like state.
Let's get this all straightened out: Syracuse just lost to Akron, the college LeBron claims he would have gone to if he hadn't made the jump straight to the pros...to play basketball. They have been to one bowl total in their history, the Motor City Bowl, which they lost. They have a total of 7 season of better-than-.500 football, which is better than Greg Robinson has ever done. And they might have just had their program's signature regular season win (their MAC championship win in 2004 is obviously way better) in beating Syracuse 42-28 at the Dome. The sadder part is that only 31808 people showed up to the Dome yesterday to watch the Orange lose to a MAC team. They might squeak by with one win this year, but I doubt it. Northwestern could only beat Duke 24-20 after destroying Syracuse. Hell, even Buffalo has already won a game. The long-winded point is this: Greg Robinson is NOT coaching in Syracuse next year. Period. This is the program's absolute low-point. I don't care of Mike Williams cheated, it's still his fault. Right here he called the defense "shabby." Who the fuck was the defensive coordinator at Texas before coming here? Greg Robinson! And Marc Baniewicz puts on the finishing touches to the end of Robinson time at Syracuse in this letter to Donnie Webb. It is ridiculous to see the change in the status,but Baniewicz really puts it well: we used to have a rivalry with Miami (who also have fallen off quite a bit), the fact that Pasqualoni was fired after taking the team to a bowl (I might have overreacted when the loss happened; I mean, Calvin Johnson destroyed us.). So, this will be your farewell tour, Greg Robinson, and Daryl Gross, you better make some real changes before next year, or you'll be next.

Oh my GOD, GREG ROBINSON MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S!

We all like to know what's going on back home, especially when a dude from Barenaked Ladies gets caught with some coke in our home 'ville. So I make my daily checking back in, and what do I see?


Yes, I know "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is sooo dope, but look at that dope in the bottom right! What the fuck is so unknown? We suck! A Robinson "unknown press conference" would contain the following sample dialogue:

Press: Is this your breakthrough year, like last year and the year before?
Robinson:I guess I just don't know!
Press: How badly will you guys fuck up to lose this game?
Robinson: Not sure what ridiculous trick play we'll run as the fourth quarter runs out, but I think the quadruple reverse is high on my priority list.
Press: Who is starting..?
Robinson: GODDAMNIT I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK! I KNOW WE FUCKING SUCK! Look at the main story on suahtletics football page:
WE HAVE SOME GREAT PERFORMERS IN THE NFL! HOW ABOUT THAT?
Press: They all played under Pasqualoni. Coach, have you watched your team practice for the opener?
Robinson: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN TEXAS!

Gold Medal Live-Bloggin'

A late start, but regular starters for Team USA, and the regularly racist line-up from the Spanish except for injured Jose Calderon. The Americans destroyed the Spanish when they last met in group play 106-57. Oh, and on NBC's online, no Doug Collins!
2:34AM: LeBron starts things off with a 3, but Pau returns the favor with a bucket and foul, 3-3. Oh yeah, Dwight Howard somehow trips Pau on the tip-off?
2:37AM: Ah, Melo and that international 3-point-line, but Carlos Jimenez answers right back, 10-9 Spain.
2:39AM: Melo fouls on a tip, and then Kobe fouls on a long 2, so here comes Dwyane Wade.
2:41AM: Ricky Rubio is only 17, but he is sure doing wonders for his draft stock by putting in some good d on Jason Kidd.
2:43AM: A floater for Juan Carlos Navarro, but Chris Paul cherry picks, gets the foul and bucket from Ricky Rubio, and Rubio now has a tweaked wrist.
2:45AM: 4:18 left in the first, and it's 22-17 Spain behind some great ball handling through pressure. But Chris Paul with another amazing bucket and foul, and it's only 22-20 USA.
2:59AM: Dwight Howard intentionals Pau, who hits 1 of 2. Spain with the ball.
2:46AM: Pau just tipped the ball to himself 5 times from point-blank range and missed every one. Here comes little brother Marc. And for those Spanish who have somehow claimed direct ancestry from Neandertals, Marc seems to be their only true link.
2:49AM: Wade steals and reverse jams, Garabajosa comes right back, then Tayshaun hits a 2. 28-25 USA.
2:51AM: Ricky Rubio (with a taped wrist) unsuccessfully looks for the offensive foul from Dwyane Wade, and Spain is in the penalty. Wade hits the first, misses the second, which is cleaned up by Bosh. 31-25 USA.
2:53AM: Marc Gasol sandwiches two pretty nice buckets around Dwyane Wade free throws. 35-29 USA.
2:54AM: Had Deron Williams not fouled him and put Spain into the bonus, Ricky Rubio would have been #1 on SportsCenter's Top 10 with quite the dribble and probably a nasty pass.
2:55AM: Rubio hits both free throws, Wade gets a steal with 5 seconds left and manages to lose control on the 2-on-1 fast break after he has hit a 3. 38-31 USA.
What a quarter for America! But the Spanish are still in it thanks to some excellent ballhandling and great shooting.
2:57AM: Second quarter underway, and Marc Gasol elbows Melo in the face in the post. We call that an offensive foul.
2:58AM: Kobe for 3. 41-31 USA.
2:59AM: Rubio may be able to dribble with the wrist, but he can't shoot, and Kobe takes the long rebound and jams it. 43-31 USA.
3:01AM: Marc Gasol ("brothers Gasol are straight twin-towering it"-5t\_/5c0tt) pushes Melo in the back for an offensive rebound and puts it back up. 43-33 USA.
3:03AM: Melo for 3. 46-33 USA.
3:04AM: Two straight no-calls against the Americans, and then a pretty obviously clean strip by Kidd is another foul for him, and CP3 is coming in.
3:05AM: Paul to Kobe on the alley-oop, 48-40 USA.
3:06AM: Lots of fouls in this one (howard just fouled Jimenez, who hit 2 free throws, 48-42 USA). USA better hope their big men are not getting most of them since they have so few.
3:07AM: LeBron with the nastiest mid-air up-and-under and the foul on Ricky Rubio. Misses the free throw, 50-42 USA.
3:08AM: DWade steal and slam, 52-42 USA, timeout Spain. The Miami Heat have to be excited with how well he is playing.
3:09AM: On the subject, Wade hits a 3 and he has 18 already. 55-42 USA.
3:10AM: LeBron answers Felipe Reyes 2 with a 3. 58-45 USA.
3:11AM: Kobe gets a nasty dribble-drive but his pass to Bosh is off.
3:11AM: Rudy Fernandez with 5 straight and the Spanish are down 58-49.
3:12AM: Deron in for Kobe. Tayshaun tips in a Bosh miss (the Spanish keep collapsing on USA's big man every time, which works for the long-armed "the Prince of Defense" and his gigantic wingspan.)
3:14AM: Wade show continues, 63-51 USA after his three, but it's already down to 63-54 with the Rudy 3.
3:15AM: Some good Spanish passing, Marc Gasol touches an assist to Reyes to answer 2 CP3 free throws, 65-56 USA.
3:17AM: 65-58 USA after Tayshaun tries to slow down Rudy on a pick, and the Notre Dame legend hits 2 free throws.
3:19AM: Tayshaun gets an offensive rebound to give USA the rest of the quarter to score, but a foul puts Paul on the line with 26.8 seconds left. he hits both, 69-61 USA.
3:20AM: Wade misses the buzzer beater, but he still has 21 and USA leads 69-61 at the half. I feel like I'm watching an NBA All-Star game with these shooting percentages. It's amazing what Jimmy B has done with Team USA's ability to play against the zone. Essentially the offense that every team runs against SU and that he runs against man-to-man defenses. I'll be back for the second half if I don't fall asleep.
3:36AM: We're back and Kidd turns it over, leading to a Reyes 2. 69-63 USA.
3:37AM: Kobe air balls, then makes a great pass to LeBron who is the loser on the no-call.
3:38AM: Howard hits a 2, and Reyes right back. 71-65 USA.
3:39AM: Pau is hit in the face after a nice fadeaway (71-67 USA) and then we get to hear some cussin' online. How exciting. Dwight misses 2 free throws, but Melo cleans up and is fouled. Misses the free throw and Kobe fouls on the rebound. 73-67 USA.
3:41AM: Navarro floater and it's only 4.
3:42AM: Dwight with the dunk and a bit of a momentum buster. USA needs more big plays like that. But another Navarro floater makes it 75-71 USA. Coach K calls a timeout, and he is cussin'.
3:44AM: Melo misses a 3 out of the timeout, but gets an outlet on some good defense and makes it 77-71 USA.
3:45AM: No USA rebounding AND Jimenez gets an open lay-up. 77-73 USA.
3:46AM: LeBron is answered by Unfrozen Caveman, who is answered by a LeBron "AND ONE" that includes a missed free throw. 81-75 USA. Also, referees are just plain not calling fouls. Did I just see David Beckham?
3:49AM: Good zone offensive rebounding and passing and Bosh is going to the line for 2. He hits both, 83-76 USA.
3:50AM: Kobe escapes an ill-advised shot with a pass to Wade, who is fouled in the act. He hits 1 of 2, USA 84-76. He then makes it 86-76 off of a Spanish turnover.
3:54AM: Navarro answered by Deron to make it 88-78, then Deron tries goin 1 on 2 and gets called for a charge.
3:55AM: Melo answers Gasol's 2with a 3, 91-80 USA with time winding down. And Wade is called for a travel with 12.2 seconds left.
3:56AM: Navarro beats the buzzer for Spain, but the Americans increased their lead and I think have built enough momentum to hold on. Fourth quarter coming up shortly.
3:59AM: LeBron called for the loose ball foul on a fast break to start the quarter, still 91-82 USA.
4:00AM: Pau gets a tip-in, 91-84 USA.
4:01AM: Kobe bricks a 3 against the zone without a pass. Rudy gets a nasty pass to Pau, another terrible USA shot, a Rudy 3 (Touchdown Jesus is going CRAZAY) and its now 91-89? Holy shit was I wrong! Dwight Howard enters for USA.
4:03AM: Kobe with a big 2, but now USA needs to get some stops if they want to win this. 93-89 USA.
4:04AM: Big 3 from Deron after LeBron picked up his 4th foul. 96-89 USA.
4:05AM: It takes a block to make Kobe drive and dish to Howard for the jam, 98-89.
4:06AM: No rebounding from USA, and Rudy retries a 3 to make it 98-92, and then Kobe responds with a 3 to make it 101-92.
4:07AM: LeBron hits a second-chancer to make it 103-92, and the RUDY FERNANDEZ DUNKED ON DWIGHT HOWARD and hits a free throw,103-95 USA.
4:08AM: Kobe is "ill-advised 3" again.
4:09AM: But then he pins a pass to Gasol against the backboard. Howard is hacked and will probably miss these 2 free throws. Maybe they should try a little harder to get Amare on this team again. He makes 1 of 2, 104-95 USA.
4:10AM: Another Spanish offensive rebound and Howard commits his 4th foul Pau and now they're in the bonus with 4:02 left. Pau hits both and its 104-97 USA.
4:12AM: Pau hits a jumper as Bosh is the victim of a no-call and then KOBE HAS A CHANCE FOR A 4-POINT PLAY and RUDY FERNANDEZ FOULS OUT. Things just got a lot easier for USA. And Beckham should try cheering for his own country for once. Kobe makes the free throw,108-99 USA.
4:14AM: Navarro hits a 2 and Jimenez a 3 and its 108-104 before a Wade 3 makes it 111-104 USA. A Spanish timeout (cute cheerleaders for the Castillians). USA continues to hit the big shots and keep Spain from getting any closer than the two-point margin earlier in the quarter. Coach K isn't cussin' as much, probably due to Wade's 27 points saving his ass and probably getting his a gold medal.
4:17AM: Rubio throws a long board of Paul and Spain has another possession which comes up empty. 113-105 USA.
4:18AM: Kobe floats one in, and Spain starts to trap/foul intentionally.
4:19AM: CP3 hits 2 and its a 10 point lead.
4:20AM: Marc cleans up for Pau and makes it 115-107 USA.
4:21AM: Great inbounds play from USA and CP3 manages to waste quite a bit of time and Kobe hits 2 technical free throws.CP3 will shoot 2 and then USA gets the ball. I am declaring victory! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Ah, just like SUPA Econ again. CP3 hits 1 of 2 and Redd and Boozer get to come off the bench. And Rubio doesn't have a left hand. 118-107 USA.
4:24AM: That is it, let's shake some hands and get that god damn medal. And I guess I get to see Manu again as the Argintineans took the bronze earlier. I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!
4:25AM: So many shades of Econ class with the cneter court celebration right next to the Spanish. Except McGuigan is not a complete asshole like Coach K (to clarify, the exact opposite).
4:38AM: Wow, the Superbad theme. I feel like the Chinese stole a very mainstream stoner's iPod and put it on shuffle for the Olympic basketball tournament.
4:41AM: I'm about to fall asleep, so I'm going to live blog an archived online video of the medal ceremony later today. One last time:
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Leroi Moore 1961-2008

I've recently been on a tear in terms of writing blogs when things die. Now, I have come to hate Dave Matthews Band, mostly due to Dave Matthews, but when I was a in high school, I could not get enough. His only recent good work has been his role in Zohan. But could that motherfucker surround himself with talent, and one of my favorites was Leroi Moore. The man hated the spotlight, but he was by far the most talented member of the group. I'm sure Jeff Coffin will fill in damn well temporarily, but Leroi recently passed away from complications due to an ATV accident. Of my fondest memories of DMB concerts, most primarily involved Leroi as well as his partnership with Rashawn "Big Sexy" Ross. And boy, could Leroi play a penny whistle, among various saxophones and some sorts of clarinets. Without the showmanship of Boyd or Carter, he could still dominate a concert with his musical acumen.

I'm hoping Dave calls quits on the group after this summer. It just feels like its time since it is no longer an original line up. Then again, I am no longer a fan, so this opinion is pretty much meaningless.

More sports coming soon.

Mike and the Mad Dog: 1989-2008 (WFAN), 2002-2008 (YES Simulcast)

Ah, you never even got the chance to legally drink alcohol, unless you traveled in Europe after high school. Or recently went to Canada. What will we miss? How about the guessing of league leaders in batting average? The ridiculous phone interviews? The telling-off of supposed idiots. Mad Dog was the voice of this operation, but Francesca was the brains. Too bad he doesn't have Russo's charisma, so he doesn't have much of a chance of surviving long on the FAN. He does however, have the power of alliteration (Francesca on the FAN has a good ring, eh?). But if we were to make a headstone for this experience (It was more than a radio show; it was also a simulcast.), it would look like this:

Ah, glorious television. Goooooooooooodbye, MikeAndTheMadDog!

Ah, Donte, Donte, Donte!

As we reported here earlier this week on how Donte would not be welcome in Houston with his big mouth and Rick Adelman's extreme distaste for both his attitude and style of play, Donte done turned around and got his ass traded to Sacramento along with Bobby Jackson and a future first rounder for Ronald William Artest Jr. Yao was skeptical, but if there ever was a time for impressive trios to take over the League, except for Scranton GM Dwight Schrute, who would tend to disagree, preferring the "curse of three" in order that Andrew Bernard not join him and Michael Scott in the traveling squad to New York to hang with the temp, it is now. KG, Paul Pierce, and Jesus Shuttlesworth did so in Boston; Ron-Ron, Yao, and McGrady are about to try it out in Houston; Gasol, Bryant, and a healthy Andrew Bynum could be scary for the Lakers; the Spurs with Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili. Surrounding three stars with a supporting cast could be he wave of the future, and I don't think guys leaving for Europe is really going to be an issue in terms of filling those support roles. Josh Childress is good, but not that good. Olimpiakos has definitely overvalued him, and no other NBA team even made an offer for a reason (read: he is fucking mediocre).

But back to Donte. Rick Adelman just granted him his wish! He is going to contribute, and he'll also start to fade into obscurity a la Bison Dele. Reggie Theus will let Donte shoot, but unless the shot doctor somehow appeared and taught him how to fix everything he has been doing wrong in a lucid dream, Mr. Theus will see Donte's misses and lack of defense and show him to the bench. Anyway you look at it, it still looks like a bad choice in terms of the future for Donte to leave after this year. But the worst part? Donte must officially remain a Rocket for two weeks because he signed his contract on July 14. Rick Adelman may spend the whole time pulling a Dale Sturvetant on him, but I'm unsure of how helpful that will be.

Oh, Donte, when will you ever learn?

Last week, the NBA's Vegas Summer League came to an abrupt conclusion, including the retirement of Nate Robinson's jersey and subsequent removal by maintenance staff after League play had ended. As well, Donte played professionally and even scored 40 one time! He ended up finishing second in the "league" in scoringwith 22.6 per game to go along with a measly 3.6 rebounds per and shot 42.5% from the field. So, what was Donte to say afterwards? Here are the choices I could think of:

a.) "I played well and I hope I can contribute this year."

b.) "We played well and there's going to be a strong supporting cast this year."

c.) "I feel like I'm coming out and proving I'm not long-term. I feel like I can be put in there right now and be a contributor to the team."

Don't (a) and (b) sound so diplomatic? ((b) is extremely fake and you'll probably never hear a player say that, but still, read c!) Well, Donte said (c). His head is already in the clouds, which means he thinks he just got to freshman year with the Rockets. I think he is going to learn the hard way, as his new coach, Rick Adelman, expressed his own reservations about Donte, saying, "I don't know if he understands what it takes to play hard; especially at the level he's got to play at."

So, now we wait to see if it truly is an adventure for Donte this year in Houston. Can he learn to keep his mouth shut like the guy he starts in front of, Mr. Shane Battier? The lesson may get to him way too late. Other Syracuse players will be much wiser in the future as they do not aim for the immediate draft fortunes of Carmelo, who knew what he was doing, and Donte, who obviously did not.

Hakim Warrick is Human Quaaludes

And I'm sure Quaaludes wish they had as much length and tremendous upside potential as Hak (Jay Bilas during a long night at Duke was once quoted as saying that the 'ludes that Danny Ferry scored for him were "getting a piece of my paint...SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT") Now that my distant cousin, Pappy Chalmers, has relieved the Jayhawk of that championship drought with that clutch as hell three, Dana O'Neil over at the WWL found that it was time to bring up a demon that no longer matters to Lawrence: Mr. Michael Lee, who fell victim to this. So, I'm guessing this made you feel sort of sad, no?

"For two, maybe two and a half weeks, I just shut down totally," Lee recalled. "I didn't want to talk to anybody because I knew how much it was on everybody's mind. I didn't go out unless I absolutely had to, like to go to class or something. I just hid in my room."

Sounds like when Chris Squire dropped acid for the last time. Also, does anyone remember a John Wallace/Jason Cipolla/Lazarus Sims/JB Reafsnyder flashback article like this in 2003? Probably not, because the Orangemen were completely counted out of that one. And there wasn't any huge fuck-up that defined the game. Unless Cipolla was seduced by a cougar a la Eugene Robinson at Super Bowl XXXIII.

A Celebratory Post

First off, a big yom huledet sameach out to Danny Macintosh, who just turned 30000000000 in ant years. And to celebrate his birthday, Billy Packer has disappeared. The Miami Herald reported it earlier today that CBS will not bring him back and end the consecutive Final Four streak at 34, which included 7 at NBC. Jim Nantz is now going to sound way more like a douche bag now that senile grandpa from hell isn't giving his two cents constantly. And now, what will be of Packer's future endeavors that he claims will keep him comfortable without his yearly CBS contract? I'm thinking basketball instructional videos that focus on the negative a la Dale Sturtevant. What a way to celebrate French freedom: it's like the MVC, CAA, Sun Belt, WCC, and A-10 united and stormed Packer's prison where he tortured Selection Committee members who invited midmajors to the Big Dance.

The Passion of the Dykes

I am officially declaring that the worst on-air job belongs to Jimmy Dykes. A man who was once an assistant coach at Kentucky, Arkansas (where he also played for three years after managing his freshmen year), and Oklahoma State, as well as a scout for the Seattle Sonics, probably thought he would have smooth sailing working for ESPN with a focus on college basketball, which is his specialty. His assignment today, which he also had last year, was very far from that as he covered the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island. Dykes was somehow the sideline reporter/technique expert/sports field-of-play analogy mathematician and it made me ask myself the question, "How far up Jimmy Dykes' ass is the WWL?" I believe the answer is very far. They make people do this on what is traditionally a day off? Yes, they do. I'm sure it would be fun as a spectator, but to make Dykes line up next to a bunch of hot dogs and tell people how long it takes to eat them, or how long, end-to-end all the hot dogs Chestnut and Kobayashi are going to eat will be? Mr. Dykes, I'm very sorry about your career.
A few other things:
-Crazy Legs Conti is the "Hot Brisket Buffet World Champion." Does that mean there is a running portion to the event? Are contestants encouraged to walk in order to avoid a "reversal of fortune"?
-ESPN showed clips from the Wii game of competitive eating and Tim Janus seemed to be talking about the realism. Really? I don't think you have to eat 50 Wii remotes before a reversal of fortune.
-A 5 dog eat-off was probably just made up on the spot. I don't think there is a rule book that says "in case of a tie..." More like they turned to the guy with the white hat and said, "They tied, what the fuck do we do now?"
-And finally, the best clip of television ever broadcasted on MTV that isn't Jackass or Rob and Big:

It's possible to die from eating. But I think, to be a professional means you don't die. Have a happy rest of your Independence Day, we'll be back.

GIRARDI PARTY REPLAY PARTY

Why does baseball always have to be this mythical, unchanging cousin of the other major sports? While the NCAA, NFL, NHL, and NBA (and what the hell, even NASCAR) have instituted numerous rule changes over the last decade or so to improve the quality of their respective games and help keep them with the times, baseball's biggest rule changes of the last ten years have been reactionary subtleties aimed to quell the rioting masses: the All-Star Game can't end in a tie, and first- and third-base coaches need to wear helmets. Baseball simply refuses to join the new millennium and implement instant-replay, and the rationale can be summed up in one word...


"TRADITION!"

Traditionalists, such as my friend Marthur, argue that instituting replay in baseball would interrupt the flow of the game, making games drag on too long. I don't know what type of replay these guys are picturing. The idea, in my humble opinion, isn't that every close call be meticulously dissected and reviewed. I agree that doing that won't do wonders to speed up an already somewhat slow-moving game. At the same time, though, a responsible and somewhat minimalist approach to instant replay could keep fans and franchises happy by guaranteeing that the right call has been made while also insuring that the sacred "flow" of baseball is preserved.


Here's how it has to go. I present GIRARDI PARTY REPLAY PARTY.

• As the MLB has proposed for this season, close/questionable home run/foul ball calls will always be reviewed, without provocation or use of a "challenge", from some kind of Batcave war room in MLB's secret fortress in New York. In the event of a tough home run call, a call would be placed from the Batcave to the ballpark in question, where a representative would inform the umpires that the call is being reviewed. The crew chief would simply wait on the phone until the verdict is reached, and the game progresses as normal.
  
  
• If you say this will add significant time to games, you're wrong. These calls really aren't all that common, and when there are close home run calls, the umpires always huddle and take 10 minutes deciding anyway. I think a team of trained professionals - or chimpanzees - studying the tape in HD could get the call right more quickly and efficiently than four umpires scratching their heads and asking each other, "I dunno, did you see it?"
  
  
• The part everyone gets hung up on is, "well, when does it end? What's stopping them from reviewing every close call?" Here's what's stopping them: a rule preventing that. In Girardi Party Replay Party, in addition to home run/foul calls automatically being reviewed, each team is allowed one "challenge" per game, where a call is reviewed by instant replay. To "challenge," a manager would have to immediately leave the dugout and inform an umpire exactly what ruling he's challenging. I don't know if the umpires would look into a TV at the park to make a ruling or what... I like the Batcave idea for all challenges. (A comprehensive list is of what would/wouldn't be reviewable is at the bottom of this post.)
  
  
• Win or lose a challenge, each team gets one and only one. This provision is key because it is what will keep replay from being a major distraction. Think about it: a manager would never blow his challenge on a play at first in a scoreless game with no men on in the third inning because he'll look like an idiot when his team loses on a clearly trapped-and-not-caught line drive at the end of the game. With only one crack at a replay, challenges won't be used except in extreme and crucial circumstances, and entire games would likely pass in which teams would not use their challenges at all.
  
  
• While there would be no penalty for losing a challenge (as in the NFL, where you lose a timeout), losing your only chance at a replay review is punishment enough.
  
  
• The only fishy part about this is determining what would have happened in the event that, say, the challenged call on the field was the third out of the inning but was overturned. The umpires then would have to have final say on which baserunners move up, and where - a decision that would not be reviewable but would probably be pretty obvious, assuming no errors (which you'd have to).
  
  
• As in football, if the replay were inconclusive, the call on the field would stand.
  

Some of the world's snootiest, oldest sports have adopted instant replay - cricket and tennis come to mind. While concerns over the pace of the game are certainly valid, if home runs were automatically reviewed and each team were only allowed one challenge, the pace of the game would not be changed dramatically. In fact, the game's pace would probably be more positively impacted by other rules, such as a tighter regulations on warm-up pitches, mound visits, pitchers' pace of play, and time-outs by batters. Nobody wants a baseball game to resemble a football game, where the replays are long and boring and challenges have become the game's focal point. The idea would be to introduce replay to get big calls right but still keep it a small, subtle part of baseball. I think Girardi Party Replay Party accomplishes this, and to further prove it, a more detailed analysis of what would and wouldn't be reviewable follows:

Things that could be reviewed:

• Balls in play caught/not caught
  
• Baserunners out/safe by way of tag or force (or lack thereof)
  
• Baserunners tagging up (in)correctly
  
• Batters hit by a pitch (or not), or catcher interference (or not)
  
• Ground rule doubles; ie, did the ball bounce and hit the wall, or some other object that is out of play?
  
• Catchers (not) catching third strikes - call this one the AJ Pierzynski Rule
  
• Other oddities (fan interference, baserunners crossing paths, baserunners touching coaches/other players, missed bases, catcher leaving the catcher's box prior to pitch, etc.)

Things that would be left solely to the discretion of the umpires:

• Called balls and strikes, no matter how egregious
  
• Balks
  
• Checked swings; normal checked-swing appeals will suffice, and will not count as challenges, but such decisions are final and cannot be challenged
  
• Out by batting out of order (as these calls are made only by appeal anyway and aren't really debatable)
  
• Home runs/foul balls - these replays can come only "from the booth Batcave" and will every time it's even close, no matter what, quickly and efficiently
  
• Suspension/postponement/ending of a game due to weather

Editor's Note: It's too bad that Marthur has disassociated himself with this blog, because he could provide a passionate counter-argument to my point of view. I know this because he did already, half-drunk in a stifling-hot dorm room in Columbus, Ohio a few weeks ago. Nothing better than seeing two co-bloggers call each other assholes.

I'm Taking Issue With Something, EURO is Done, and Donte Greene is Going to Outerspace

So, congratulations to the Spanish for their breezy, though partially-referee-aided victory over Germany for the chip yesterday. Torres' goal in the 33rd was all the scoring needed, although the Red Fury could have probably put in 3 more. No Villa was no issue for the Spanish, who seemed to have an easier time on the attack with the addition of Fabregas to the starting lineup, and switching to a 4-1-4-1 that let Torres poach more easily instead of having a focus on setting the table. Casillas was solid in net, and made his biggest play of the match when he put his hands in front of a cross that would have been an easy header for sub Kevin Kuranyi, aka Antoine Laconte, who also played defense like he was looking for the booking. Roberto Rossetti was helpful to the Spanish cause, as he seemed to let play go when Spain had fouled but was more stringent with the Germans. Rossetti did nothing to David Silva for his minor headbutt, but FIFA may take issue with it at a later time.
Donte Greene was a Grizzly on Thursday for a little while, but he ended up a Rocket. When he was a Memphis Grizzly, all I could think of was "Wow, what's going on at that bowling alley in Baltimore right now?" and "Can you imagine how stupid he looks as a one-and-done warming the pine for the Syracuse ALUM Hakim Warrick?" But then he got moved to Houston, where he will compete with Steve Novak for the right to back up Shane Battier. The sad part is that he will be sitting behind Steve Novak, who is a much smarter player and a way better shooter. So the joke is STILL on you, Donte.
And finally, to wrap up Post #101 ("DAMN YOU, MACINTOSH!"-Carl Quigley), I bring you this tidbit from another stupid ESPN promotion built to fill up time and hypnotize you slowly to join the ESPN army and take over the Western Hemisphere: Titletown USA! So, which town is the biggest winner? I could give a shit about it, although a bunch of motherfuckers from Boston will talk your ear off about the Sawx, C's, Bruins, and the Pats and a bunch of other ridiculous championships that I really could care less about. Anyways, San Francisco is entered into this 20-municipality fray, and ESPN user jcap24 wanted to share this tidbit about why the white side of the Bay is the best:

The San Francisco Giants have five WS titles ('05, '21, '22, '33, '54), 20 NL pennants, six West division titles, one wild-card berth.

A championship can only count towards your Titletown resume if it was won after the team moved to said Titletown, so the San Francisco Giants can take credit for 0 World Series titles, 3 NL Pennants, 6 West Division Titles, and one wild-card berth. With this, the WWL has to play judge and ask us to disregard all facts relating to events occuring before 1958, but like the bloody finger that the prosecuting attorney pulled out of his pocket, most people will remember this fact. Maybe a more democratic ideology will benefit the ESPN in that plot to take over the Western Hemisphere. More HD capabilities would probably help too...you know, with the whole hypnotizing thing.

We Livebloggin', Ya'll...The Lottery

7:30-I've only done this with Champion's League Finals, so now, we give you Fort Minor again. Oh, and Stuart Scott, introducing David Stern, which everyone seems to love. Marc Jackson and Van Gundy with Bilas at the main table should be more pleasing than say STEPHEN A. SMITH, whose name I will from now on capitalize whenever I write it.

7:32-David Stern is his usual eloquent self in trying to show people that he isn't exploiting these athletes for money, but instead giving them the opportunity to enhance our society.

7:36-Vinny Del Negro always makes me laugh, and as we all know Derrick Rose will be the pick, so why waste the whole time that they are on the clock?

7:38-Derrick Rose is the pick, so it is time to go home...for him, we'll be here for a while. And the Chicago draft room is golfclapping. What the hell else would they do? they have the first pick, no one is going to take Rose right now. Unless Donnie Walsh has some scheme. Also, my nephew just made me deaf.

7:42-The Heat are now going to make the pick...Beasley or Mayo?

7:43-Make that Beasley. 2 top picks are freshmen for the second straight year, and now Miami could have nasty trifecta in Wade, Matrix, and the one just selected.

7:46-STEPHEN A. SMITH is asking Beasley some questions. Miami is getting a "fun-loving guy" off the court. I don't know how compatible that will be with good work ethic in Miami. Example: Dwyane Wade. Doris Burke just asked questions of his mom, a bigger improvement on Stu badgering Melo's mom in 2003.

7:49-Oventin J'Anthony Mayo is going to Minnesota! What Jay Bilas means by NBA-ready is he is older than me, but a year behind me in school, and he disappeared in a few games.

7:50-Marc Jackson cried when OJ wasn't allowed to play with him during the summer.

7:51-STEPHEN A. SMITH here again, telling us how rude OJ is by not saying "hello," but the greeting "STEPHEN A., I CAN PLAY THE POINT GUARD POSITION."

7:52-Pat Riley started planning for the lottery way before the season ended. Did he seriously forget about that tank job he pulled that sealed the worst record in the League?

7:54-The Sonics have way too many draft picks. No team can win with a bunch of first round picks, you need vets.

7:55-Russell Westbrook to the Sonics. Your time is almost over, Earl Watson. He'll be very helpful to the Sonics. Probably the smartest pick so far. It'll be interesting to see what they do with their other. So now what does Memphis do? A center is available that could be better than Darko? I'd take that.

8:01-I'm not sure about Kevin Love. He plays close to the ground in an above the rim game. And they took Kevin Love. Wes Unseld would have trouble in this day and age, but I write this blog, and Chris Wallace, for some reason, runs the Grizzlies.

8:03-There are no people with the "oo" sound in their names. There are so many ways to go. They need...everything.

8:07-Getting rowdy...and they take "BIG COCK" Danilo Gallinari (his nickname), whose dad played with D'Antoni in Italy. And here comes Fraschilla to explain booing to the Italian. Will he sell a lot of shoes? Eh, he's a foreign player, I don't know about that.

8:09-STEPHEN A. SMITH is yelling over the boos, and Danilo shows off his our sentences in English. The Knicks starters and key reserves just looks like none will be playing there after next season.

8:12-Clippers are taking their record 19th lottery pick! Injured Elton Brand is like injured David Robinson before the '97 draft.

8:13-Eric Gordon is the PG of the future in LA and will give them a nasty first 7, and will replace either Mobley or Brevin Knight pretty soon.

8:15-No one sophomore or above picked yet, just the "Big Cock."

8:17-Marc Jackson talks of immediate regret for the Knicks for not taking a PG.

8:18-Mose Schrute shaved his beard, changed his name to Joe Alexander and got sleected eighth by the Bucks. I also love his childhood pictures in China.

8:20-I never heard Mose speak before, but he sounds like a cocky motherfucker. White Basketball Jesus?

8:21-Will MJ ruin another franchise? Wait until after the commercial break...

8:24-I want the Larry Brown timeline to be my screensaver. Personally, I like all the glasses.

8:25-DJ Augustin? Seriously? MJ is insane, and Larry Brown probably won't like him due to his penchant for carelessness. Raymond Felton will be pissed, and Larry Brown now doesn't have a center, but now the Augustin's will have a new home since theirs was destroyed by Katrina.

8:28-The Brook-err New Jersey Nets are up, and everyone says go for a center.

8:29-Brook Lopez is a wise choice. Not sure if he'll be able to play as well without his bro Robin because they won't be able to activate their Wondertwin Powers. Robin seems to have separation anxiety.

8:35-Sorry Jamaal Tinsley, but all the crimes will not be tolerated by Larry Legend, and Jerryd Bayless is taken. But how does he work with TJ Ford? I cannot say.

8:37-Jerryd can golf. And he can also follow whatever orders are given to him. I'm impressed!

8:42-Jason Thompson to the Kings? Cool. He went to Rider, and his dad is a referee. I expect him to NEVER foul out. I wish I had that type of growth spurt, from 6'1" to 6'11".

8:46-What will the Blazers and Warriors do? Both were very solid last year, enough that they would have made the playoffs in the East. Oden comes back next year to Portland, so they can just get REAL solid.

8:47-Brandon Rush is probably less of an idiot than his brothers, was hurt in a year ago (torn ACL), and he will be another nasty cog in the system. No mention of JaRon luckily. And 3 times is the charm of draft declarations.

8:49-Andy Katz was the first person to say "Quite frankly" tonight, and STEPHEN A.'S MIC WAS MUTED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT MR. KATZ WAS MAKING FUN OF HIS CANCELLED ESPN2 TALK SHOW!

8:51-Anthony Randolph? Really? I really don't like him as an NBA player, especially after the terrible record he led LSU to last year. He only weighs 197! Shaq could break him in half.

Well, it wasn't the most entertaining lottery (Hell, Hilton Armstrong crashed his car twice when he was 15.). But it just seems weird with all these freshman being taken. Anyways, Randolph thinks he can play, and Vitale appears! AHHH I MUST FLEEEEEEEEEE

An Open Letter to Donte Greene

Dear Donte Green,

You are the paradigm of what I hate about the NBA Draft. Today, Jay Bilas advised against drafting a big center unless he is a "great defensive presence, like a Greg Oden." Mr. Bilas spoke of a player who has never played an NBA game, who has never showed any defensive talent because he has only been injured. No one knows if he can block a shot or affect a shot in a NBA game. So, you're saying you need a player who will get paid to rehab his knee and not do anything for your team. Put out a name like young Dikembe Mutombo (Craig Sager at the 1990 NBA Draft pronounced his name De-Camby Mu-Tom-bo. They also used swivel chairs that those motherfuckers swiveled in way too much due to nerves TNT definitely changed that up for the next year.) or Alonzo Mourning or Pat Ewing or Bill Russell, someone who has played a game in the NBA and actually blocked a shot in a NBA game. Donte, you represent this to the fullest. What did you exactly do at Syracuse to make anyone see potential? Was it learning to post up the guy guarding you who is 8 inches shorter than you on a regular basis during the last home game of the year? How about never learning to pass, even when you shot 6-19 from the field and 1-1 from the line against Nova in the Big East Tournament, or 2-15 against UConn that you made Syracuse not deserve any chance to be in that game? Johnny Flynn was more than capable, but you had to shoot. And when did you ever play defense? I know, you averaged 1.7 blocks a game, but the number of times you lost a rebounding chance or let a guy go right past you made those blocks look like you're trying to pay for a meal for 5 at Smith and Wollensky with a $5 bill, and your offense wasn't exactly a gift certificate that would make up the difference.Your time at Syracuse was something that we never wanted to see. We were sure we wouldn't get duped by one of those one-and-done freshmen again, unless they won a championship. But you did, and now you're going to the League because you have tremendous upside potential because of your length and the fact that you shoot a lot of threes and think you can handle well enough to be a 3, which is what she said if she were Doris Burke. We don't appreciate you, as you were the first to show Syracuse fans the dark side of the one-and-done craze, where the team is left for dead for the riches. Luckily, the team looks solid for next year without you. And I understand the financially it will work for you. I'm sure you may succeed in the NBA, but I can't wish you the best. You just helped drag us back to the NIT. And if you do happen to be revealed as a defensive liability and a hucker, please, have fun playing in Sweden. And wherever you play next year, may Syracuse fans boo you when you enter the game.

Sincerely,
Pappy Chalmers

***ADDENDUM***
Donte plans on having his draft night party at a Baltimore bowling alley. I hope his pin percentage is better than his 3-point percentage at 'Cuse. Maybe PDW will show up and fuck him up at the pins and do the suck-it celebration. I might try to see Gunnin' for that #1 Spot due to it being a sports doc, but can it really be anything as revealing or truly great as Hoop Dreams or Through the Fire? I don't think so, but there could be something special in using 6 players.