Mike Krzyzewski is Also Delusional, Missed Point of Fab Five Documentary

I loved the Fab Five doc on ESPN that premiered on Selection Sunday. It hit all the right points for me: emphasizing the cultural impact of the Fab Five (HBO's Runnin' Rebels missed that point and instead focused on the ties to Vegas (more on that later)), emphasizing the generic Duke style that may bring success but brings much more hate, and Chris Webber's bizarre estrangement from the university where he was a force of change on the game. Webber's absence was strange, but as @FreeDarko pointed out in a retweet of this tweet, this was his documentary.

Jalen Rose fulfilled his duties as an ESPN employee to create the requisite controversy that would drive discussion of the documentary for following week, lead to Grant Hill writing a piece for the New York Times defending the Duke way, and then this Mike Krzyzewski idiocy. It wasn't enough for his players to publicly cry after Arizona tore them a new one (You win a national championship and then you get greedy? You got beat, be lucky to have that lucky ring.)(And this is proof that Coach K could never be a NBA coach. Hopefully Kupchak stops calling him when the Lakers job goes vacant this summer.).

Coach K is happy with what he did at his institution, making a winning program that he claims to have playing hard defense, but if you actually watch, just constantly handchecks people like it's the '70's. That's great that you're bringing guys in and developing them to be the lacrosse douchebags of basketball. Jay Williams loves that legacy, as shown in that ESPN article. (Another side note: Jay, when they use the past tense discussing their perceptions of Duke, I think it means that's how they felt and not how they feel now. But, continue to be a pseudo-intellectual, offended by what you continue to perceive to be a slight against your character. The idiot didn't even graduate until he fell off that motorcycle.)

Krzyzewski is proud he gets players to play the right way, but it just feels wrong. Michigan may not have brought in any hardware like Laettner did, but they showed an individuality that all of your players hid for the sake of your team. That's great and all, but the cultural impact of the Fab Five will always outshine whatever lobotomies you give out at Duke. Do people hike up their shorts and pretend to be Bobby Hurley? HEEEELLLLLL NO! Do you think big guys running the court running point and playing the post are trying to be like Christian Laettner? Maybe in your delusional dreams. Basketball players wear baggy shorts, they were black socks with their black kicks, and their swag is pride in themselves more than in the cult of personality you've created of pseudo-blue collar guys. Coach K has a high horse from winning 827 games, but passing judgement is one aspect of life where he's riding Mini Horse.

Bracket: Busted

Syracuse just lost one terribly to bow out in the Round of 32. A podcast is on the way reacting to the first three rounds, focusing on the Syracuse performance, and issues with the selection committee.

The Manual Buzzer Pick'Em Fart

That is the name I chose for our Pick'Em group. Comment on this thread if you think you have the guts to join our group on Yahoo and we'll choose nominees to fill the field. The prize will be revealed via the invitation e-mail.

A Message to Indiana State, Xavier, and Marquette, and the rest of the East Region

Good to see you again, Buzz Peterson, but the 'Cuse has something to say to you and these Musketeers and Sycamores:

I, of course, must question the commitment to this message of Mr. MacIntosh, known for such a hardcore allegiance to THEE Ohio State University that he wrote a piece defending Vernon Gholston's right to earn millions playing crappy defense in the NFL. Seriously?

Anyways, be on the lookout, dear readers, for the Manual Buzzer podcasts that will be taking place possibly before the first weekend, but definitely on the horizon for summarizing the action each weekend of the tournament. We will also be running a Bracket Challenge for the Buzzer, with absolutely no prize but pride and the ability to make fun of us mercilessly for how terrible our picks are. This is my favorite time of the year, but each Madness seems to take eight years off my life. I guess that's why I love it. You never know if you're going to get the coveted victory or the heartbreaking loss, but the experience is always damn fun.

Michael Wilbon: Insane Reactionary

I must preface this article by stating that as a high school student, there was nothing I loved more than watching Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption while I did my homework, usually focusing more on the insane arguments of Woody Paige over Calculus. It was the same for PTI. I always though of Kornheiser and Wilbon as two benevolent wise men, that the American public was lucky to be given the opportunity to listen to them discuss the day's sports news like Aristotle and Socrates discussed philosophy back in the day. That is, until I began to notice their statuses as shills for the WWL.

This year, one saw it when Kornheiser shut out any sort of conversation about Dan Snyder's idiotic and asinine libel suit against Washington City Paper due to the fact that Snyder's signature is on Tony's check (Write a check or donate here so City Paper can have a chance to win this).

And now Michael Wilbon decides to let his freak flag fly. Yesterday, Jerry Reinsdorf told the media that he though Derrick Rose has a great chance to lead this Bulls team to a few championships. And that pissed Wilbon off, so much that he wrote an article for the WWL's Chicago Politburo to show his disgust. But why did it piss Wilbon off so much? Because Wilbon thought it was a prediction.

This is by no means close to what LeBron said in predicting success and NBA hegemony in Miami. This is Michael Wilbon taking a revisionist perspective on one sentence Reinsdorf said and creating disgust where there is no reason for it. Here is the quote:

"If you don’t see something special in Derrick Rose, then you’re blind," Reinsdorf said. "We have an outstanding coach, an outstanding bunch of players, the team is deep, and if we stay healthy, we have an awfully good chance of winning at least four championships."

Strangely enough, Wilbon uses the exact same quote in his article to demonstrate a Reinsdorf psychotic episode. Like the pot calling the kettle black, Wilbon should not be chiding Reinsdorf for speaking out of turn, when he decides to change the meaning of a quote so he can write an idiotic diatribe for his employer.

Spiritual over the Material: A College Athletics Oxymoron

Brandon Davies is a normal human being. Like me and most American men, he likes having sex with women. Like many of those men, and unlike many Republicans, Mr. Davies enjoys that sex outside of marriage. Of course, that is the drawback to being a Division I athlete at Brigham Young University: you can't enjoy many of the substance abuse and carnal experiences that are a hallmark of nearly every other university in the US, even those with religious backing. Even Utah's other universities, known for being a bit more puritan even as public institutions, have this video on the internet to speak for their board of regents (DEFINITELY NSFW for a second).

But the question remains, why sacrifice this material success? I take a lot of issues with Mormons, including the retroactive conversions of dead people, the ridiculousness of modern religion in the face of modern science (of course, there are theories on the early monotheistic religions that show similar outlandishness), and any sort of evangelization. I still complain about the Mormon Penn basketball player who was name-dropped outside of Chipotle by missionaries. I was tempted to yell at him, but I just walked on, disgusted at the way one of the lazier students in our school (loved reading my notes in recitations and saying whatever I wrote) exploited his fame to spread his religion.

So why did BYU sacrifice a possible national title as they probably bring in a national player of the year in Jimmer Fredette? Because they're holier than thou. The same can be said about the player jealous that he waited for marriage to fuck his wife while Brandon Davies ignored God and only asked for the consent of his girlfriend. BYU would rather come out on top spiritually instead of in the standings. They laugh in the face of Notre Dame's multiple football titles, because when salvation comes, they think the Earth will swallow South Bend and leave Provo unscathed, gang rape or not.

So don't mind BYU. They could care less about material success. As long as they come out on top in the moral competition, it's a victory for them. It's funny that this would be their biggest victory yet.

Haterz Gonna Hate: A Facebook Argument Gone Wrong

This is a transcript of a Facebook argument between myself and a couple of kids that I go to law school with. Names have been redacted. [I realized after previewing this that their names actually lead to links of their Facebook profiles, but who gives a fuck. WINNING]

Starting with comments about the Los Angeles Clippers and the Baron Davis move, the conversation quickly became heated after an unprovoked attack on one of the NBA’s best players, LeBron James. Because it is such a long conversation, I am putting in bold the most provocative arguments, and a few editor's notes along the way.

As a call for sanity, can someone please affirm that I'm dealing with a fucking idiot?

Egyptian Kid who flunked out and blamed it on the situation in Egypt: Hey Clippers.... are you like, TRYING to suck even more? come on now, mo williams??? wow

Fucking Tool Who Wears One Sweatshirt:

They should just be playing Bledsoe and building for the future anyway, but I bet Mo plays. As long as he isn't in the playoffs, he's okay.

Egyptian Kid: Mo will play, Baron however, will drag out his "knee injury" and i highly doubt he dresses for cleveland. im trying to understand the rest of the mistakes going on in the nba today

Fucking Tool: Tons of craziness. Exciting, though.

We’ll call this kid 2 Cents, because he’s an OK guy: Fucking Tool, "As long as he isn't in the playoffs, he's okay." The same might be said for lebreezy.

Fucking Tool: True story. Everyone hypes that fluke 3 he hit in the playoffs to beat Orlando, conveniently forgetting he completely gave up versus the Celtics. Lebron is a playoff loser who rubbed off on Mo [Playoff loser? Who singlehandedly dismantled the Detroit Pistons in the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals?]

Me: OH COME ON MAN. GAVE UP? he had one bad game (game 5) where he shot 3-14 from the floor. the dude posted a 27pt, 10ast, 19reb TRIPLE DOUBLE in game 6. people who say he quit in that series clearly weren't watching him carry the entire team on his back. who wouldnt be dejected when mo williams and anthony parker combine to shoot 3-16 in game 2? haters gonna hate i guess.

Me: Miami heat your 2011 eastern conference champions

2 Cents: i picked the heat to win it all before the season started, but after "the decision." I'm not hating, i'm just saying, when push comes to shove, the legends win. we'll see.

Me: I am in complete agreement that "the decision" was a poor move, I don't think anyone disputes that. But let's not forget the highly under-reported tidbit of that the $2.5 million dollars in ad revenue was given directly to the boys and girls club of America. [All for the kids!]


Toolio: How often is the 4th-best team in the East crowned champions? :)

They will not beat Boston or Chicago in a 7-game series, and probably not Orlando, either. 2nd round and done, just like Flash before Shaq.

Tool: To be clear, haters will indeed hate. But respect is also earned, not given, and until Lebronze wins a ring, he gets no respect, no deference, not benefit of any doubt. Couldn't even win a gold medal without Kobe and Melo to carry him

Egyptian Kid: all i know is that in miami two guys are fighting over who gets to be batman and whos robin and then you have batgirl on the side (who goes 1-18 today). thats not championship anything. boston is a team of manchamps and my only respect on that squad of children is for d-wade who let shaq guide him to being the best player on that championship team. until leboy wins a finals series against a legit team hell never be what my man, and his new daddy after being dunked on in the ASG, Kobe already is.

Me: Oh my goodness. I could talk for hours about this, but to start, the only real threat to the heat is chicago. The kendrick perkins trade today leaves boston without any actual center. If the celtics truly believe that the O'Neal brothers and nenad kristic can play center in the playoffs, then god bless them, but they are sorely mistaken. I would take erick(a) dampier as my starting center before i put any of those three in there to bang with dwight.

Orlando is a complete mess. They have surrounded the best center in the league with 4 guys who are supposed to hit the 3, but its impossible for them to find any open looks when most of their offensive possessions start with the ball being dumped to Dwight in the post, and when he draws the foul (a league leading 11.4 free throw attempts per game), he only hits 59% of his "free" throws. A recipe for success? Highly doubtful.

With Noah back and Boozer and Rose playing as well as they have been, chicago will be tough to beat. I am dick riding chicago right now because derrick rose is the MVP, and keeping Noah instead of trading him for Melo will pay off in the long run. But even tonight, they won by 4 in a game where chris bosh went 1-18 from the floor. Bosh has been playing great as of late, and this game is clearly an aberration.

Let's talk about rings for a second. I am desperately awaiting the day that Adam Morrison's championship rings go on ebay, considering he's going to need cash at some point, and he's got two of them any way. My respect for Lebron stems from his unbelieve athletic ability and the FACT that he is the most complete player since magic johnson. You cannot expect him to have won in cleveland with that ridiculous group of guys they called a supporting cast. That point is PROVEN by the cavaliers dismal record thus far.

Rings don't mean SHIT when it comes to respecting a players game. No respect without a ring? Tell that to Steve Nash, Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing, John Stockton and Karl Malone. HATERS WILL HATE

Fuckin Tool: Don't forget Chicago. Noah annihilates Bosh, and Rose is possibly the best player in the NBA. Not to mention Boozer, who will always have a place in my heart for getting out of town when Lebronze was drafted; he knew well before the rest of us what his nature truly was. Loser and backstabber



Me: For the record, my only REAL problem with this whole conversation is the unbelievable amount of hate the media has instilled in people towards lebron james, including this idea that people know what lebron's "true nature" is. Have you met the guy? Do you really know what he is all about other than winning basketball games? The east is deep this year, and I will be the first to say Chicago looks great. Cant wait for the playoffs.

Fuckin Tool (Does this guy ever quit?): None of the players you named, JP, are top-20 players historically, OR the best at their position. [The players I named: Steve Nash, Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing, John Stockton and Karl Malone]

And Lebron is FAR from complete, let alone "the most complete player since Magic Johnson." For starters, 35% 3-point shooting and 75% FT shooting is far from impressive;solid, but not impressive. He has no low-post game outside of his athletic ability. His defense is completely predicated on his athleticism as well; he has little skill, but makes up for it with pure athleticism; that does not, however make him good at defense. Finally, 3.7 TOs-per-game is horrible for someone who shares primary ballhandling duty with Flash.

Ask yourself where Lebron will be in 5 years when his athleticism has passed, and he's running on pure skill. Will you still think he's "complete"? He'd average 8 ppg if he were down to Kobe's athleticism, and that's the most damning argument against him being a "Complete" player

Tool: The media built Lebron, hyping him since his freshman year in high school, before he'd proven anything. It seems a bit ridiculous to then trash them for pointing out he's selfish, a liar, and has no loyalty.

And if Lebron is "All about" winning basketball games, he's awfully bad at his job. He thinks he's great at it, though, since he celebrates like he won the lottery after beating random teams in the regular season. [Ah yes, posting a .663 win % over the last 5 years ABSOLUTELY makes him bad at winning basketball games]

Egypt: i cant wait for the playoffs to start to jp, but let me tell u something my dear friend... those guys you mentioned are classy individuals that largely played for ONE team and they were THE MAN on that team. were not talking about the adam morrisons of the league or the rest of the role playing rubbish that teams have. im talking about a fundamental respect of the game, its fans, its purpose, its franchises, and its ideologies as far as being the franchise player and screwing over a whole city to create a powerhouse of other little boys on another team. its all about the kind of guy that a player is off the court as well as on it. D-Rose is my MVP too this year (and everyones im always on kobes sack so thats a huge step for me) but its because hes humble, coachable and a proven TEAMmate. it took kobe forever to learn that and it looks like lebaby is gonna have to learn it too.

Top guys to respect without rings: Jerry Sloan, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Charles Barkley, Pat Ewing, Reggie Miller, George Karl, Steve Nash, Jason Kidd, Dwight Howard, Derrick Rose, Kevin Durant, Blake Griffin. all of these guys share humility above all (except chuck)

Tool: All those retired guys you mentioned: choke artists. [Let's recap who these "choke artists" are: Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing, John Stockton and Karl Malone] Couldn't win in June (or make it there). Especially considering how many played in the mid-90s, when the NBA was at its weakest, it's sad to even mention those guys with the greats now. Send Timmy or KG back to 1990 and see how many rings they win. Malone is Amare with less athleticism and a history of statutory rape.



The Voice of Reason (Me): I truly believe your argument is based more on general hate than appreciation for the game. I encourage you to attend the Player Hater's Ball where you might be in the running for the coveted "Hater of the Year" title. I cannot understand how without meeting the fellow, or holding a conversation with him, that you can deem him "selfish, a liar, and [lacks] loyalty", based on a decision to leave a franchise where he had no contractual obligation, and won 60 regular season games in back to back seasons.

I have respect for every great player in the league, including Lebron James, who boasts a 28pt/7reb/7ast average for his short but clearly dominant career. As a Yankee fan, I despise the city of Boston and everything they stand for. But I harbor no ill will for Ray Allen (obviously) and even appreciate the intensity that Kevin Garnett brings to the game, even if he has the audacity to call alopecia stricken Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient. [Note: I do have a small issue with Paul Pierce being taken off the court in a wheelchair, only to return to score 15 points in the 3rd quarter of game 1 of the 2008 NBA finals. Sorry McKeevah, but all that was missing was a bloody sock] I greatly admire Carmelo Anthony and his ability to score. I am even more impressed with Kobe Bryant's seemingly inherent ability to make huge shots in the 4th quarter of games. There is truth to his characterization of himself as the Mariano Rivera of the NBA. But to say that Lebron James would average 8ppg in 5 years is not only ludicrous, it's asinine.

What is good defense in today's NBA, where basically every great scorer is an athletic beast off the dribble? The key to defense is lateral movement. Quickness in your lateral movement probably has something to do with athleticism no? The only case where great defense has not been defined by lateral movement are the tenacious defenders such as Bruce Bowen, Shane Battier and to some degree, Ron Artest.

In conclusion, I must reiterate that your arguments are based on general hate. "All those retired guys you mentioned: choke artists". I don't think many if any people with knowledge of the NBA would consider Reggie Miller, Steve Nash and Patrick Ewing, choke artists. Again, I will send you the application for the Player Hater's Ball

Conclusory Tool: Saying someone "Hates" another person doesn't prove its irrational or unfounded; hate can be completely logical and deserved.

Lebron held an entire city hostage [Holy shit, I did not realize that we were dealing with fucking Hans Gruber here], telling them he didn't know what he wanted to do. Does anyone really believe that? He absolutely screwed Cleveland, the state he grew up in, professed his love for, promised to bring a championship to. He's either a liar or a failure (or both).

And no, his career has not been "Dominant". 1 Finals appearance in 7 years, are you kidding? He peaked early, and now he is looking for other allstars to carry him. [Hmm... peaked early. Back to back MVPs? FINISH HIM!] He has pretty stats, but stats don't prove you're dominant; wins do.

And athleticism does not equal defense; athleticism equals athleticism. The guys you mentioned above: Bowen, Battier, Artest, they are far from the most athletic guys in the league, but they are, or were, its best defenders, and that title was based on skill. I understand the need to lessen or marginalize the role of skill in being a great player; if I were a Lebronze fan, I'd try that too. Because based on skill OR results, Lebronze is not in any great player discussion.