In this case basketball. Harry is Tracy McGrady. Harry has been knocked out, but managed to salvage his rep against Voldermort (who is the first round of the NBA Playoffs) with some nasty performances (See: games 5 and 7 against Utah in the '06-'07 1st Round. ****SPOILER**** As all of us who are reading this sentence know (and shortly you will know too, person who has covered their ears while someone reads this out loud (well, I actually don't think anyone reads this out loud) or thos who have glanced over this sentence after seeing the spoiler warning), Harry Potter defeats Voldermort (I'm probably spelling this wrong). Well, Tracy MccGrady has been in the playoffs 6 times so far in his NBA career. Next year should make it 7, and if T-Mac's career plays out like Harry Potter's, T-Mac will make it past the 1st round next year (I think that's the spoiler I just avoided giving to you. My bad.) Here's how the rest of the characters apply to the Rockets:
Weasley twins=Juwan Howard and Dikembe Mutombo
This one is pretty simple: veteran leadership in addition to the world class talent leading the way (Harry/T-Mac). Also, they bring some lightheartedness to the locker room in the form of fireworks andf exploding candies.
Cho Chang=Yao
Being Asian is huge here, and like Yao in Houston, Cho Chang is the only Asian at Hogwarts. And she gave up the location of Dumbledore's Army a la Yao getting hurt and giving the Rockets a lower seed than they should have in the 1st round, leading to a tougher opponent.
Snape=Bobby Sura
Very sneaky and vengeful, a la Bobby getting that extra rebound to secure a triple-double.
Dolores Umbridge=Jeff Van Gundy
Brought in to teach some fundamental offense and tough defense to the Rockets, ultimately unsuccessful, fired and replaced by flashier dude with more hair, being...
Professor Dumbledore=Rick Adelman
Brought in to get the most out of Harry for the best offense possible.
Cornelius Fudge=David Stern
No fucking around here people, buttondown shirt, no wands with phoenix in them, you know the reputation we look to have for the world.
Ron Weasley=Moochie Norris
Only there because of the bobblhead night from the funny hair.
Hermione Granger=Shane Battier
Brings good wizarding fundamentals and hustle to Dumbledore's Army.
Added 7/30/2007
Rubeus Hagrid=Patrick Ewing
A big wizard who always had the necessary skills but could never go the distance as a pro, but brings invaluable experience and leadership to the bench, as well as a wonderful ability in making post play better.
Come-and-Go Room=Westside Tennis Club, Houston
Where Dumbledore's Army lifts and holds practices, a perfect spot that is very private and makes sure the public does not intrude as they prepare for battle.
That's all for today, stick around for Transformers: Told Using Past Sporting News, Part 2 of a Series
Jul 18, 2007
Scouting Report for UNC Basketball
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2941385
How to beat them: Put Roy Williams in a large edifice, at least 6 stories high.
How to beat them: Put Roy Williams in a large edifice, at least 6 stories high.
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