Jun 26, 2008

We Livebloggin', Ya'll...The Lottery

7:30-I've only done this with Champion's League Finals, so now, we give you Fort Minor again. Oh, and Stuart Scott, introducing David Stern, which everyone seems to love. Marc Jackson and Van Gundy with Bilas at the main table should be more pleasing than say STEPHEN A. SMITH, whose name I will from now on capitalize whenever I write it.
7:32-David Stern is his usual eloquent self in trying to show people that he isn't exploiting these athletes for money, but instead giving them the opportunity to enhance our society.
7:36-Vinny Del Negro always makes me laugh, and as we all know Derrick Rose will be the pick, so why waste the whole time that they are on the clock?
7:38-Derrick Rose is the pick, so it is time to go home...for him, we'll be here for a while. And the Chicago draft room is golfclapping. What the hell else would they do? they have the first pick, no one is going to take Rose right now. Unless Donnie Walsh has some scheme. Also, my nephew just made me deaf.
7:42-The Heat are now going to make the pick...Beasley or Mayo?
7:43-Make that Beasley. 2 top picks are freshmen for the second straight year, and now Miami could have nasty trifecta in Wade, Matrix, and the one just selected.
7:46-STEPHEN A. SMITH is asking Beasley some questions. Miami is getting a "fun-loving guy" off the court. I don't know how compatible that will be with good work ethic in Miami. Example: Dwyane Wade. Doris Burke just asked questions of his mom, a bigger improvement on Stu badgering Melo's mom in 2003.
7:49-Oventin J'Anthony Mayo is going to Minnesota! What Jay Bilas means by NBA-ready is he is older than me, but a year behind me in school, and he disappeared in a few games.
7:50-Marc Jackson cried when OJ wasn't allowed to play with him during the summer.
7:51-STEPHEN A. SMITH here again, telling us how rude OJ is by not saying "hello," but the greeting "STEPHEN A., I CAN PLAY THE POINT GUARD POSITION."
7:52-Pat Riley started planning for the lottery way before the season ended. Did he seriously forget about that tank job he pulled that sealed the worst record in the League?
7:54-The Sonics have way too many draft picks. No team can win with a bunch of first round picks, you need vets.
7:55-Russell Westbrook to the Sonics. Your time is almost over, Earl Watson. He'll be very helpful to the Sonics. Probably the smartest pick so far. It'll be interesting to see what they do with their other. So now what does Memphis do? A center is available that could be better than Darko? I'd take that.
8:01-I'm not sure about Kevin Love. He plays close to the ground in an above the rim game. And they took Kevin Love. Wes Unseld would have trouble in this day and age, but I write this blog, and Chris Wallace, for some reason, runs the Grizzlies.
8:03-There are no people with the "oo" sound in their names. There are so many ways to go. They need...everything.
8:07-Getting rowdy...and they take "BIG COCK" Danilo Gallinari (his nickname), whose dad played with D'Antoni in Italy. And here comes Fraschilla to explain booing to the Italian. Will he sell a lot of shoes? Eh, he's a foreign player, I don't know about that.
8:09-STEPHEN A. SMITH is yelling over the boos, and Danilo shows off his our sentences in English. The Knicks starters and key reserves just looks like none will be playing there after next season.
8:12-Clippers are taking their record 19th lottery pick! Injured Elton Brand is like injured David Robinson before the '97 draft.
8:13-Eric Gordon is the PG of the future in LA and will give them a nasty first 7, and will replace either Mobley or Brevin Knight pretty soon.
8:15-No one sophomore or above picked yet, just the "Big Cock."
8:17-Marc Jackson talks of immediate regret for the Knicks for not taking a PG.
8:18-Mose Schrute shaved his beard, changed his name to Joe Alexander and got sleected eighth by the Bucks. I also love his childhood pictures in China.
8:20-I never heard Mose speak before, but he sounds like a cocky motherfucker. White Basketball Jesus?
8:21-Will MJ ruin another franchise? Wait until after the commercial break...
8:24-I want the Larry Brown timeline to be my screensaver. Personally, I like all the glasses.
8:25-DJ Augustin? Seriously? MJ is insane, and Larry Brown probably won't like him due to his penchant for carelessness. Raymond Felton will be pissed, and Larry Brown now doesn't have a center, but now the Augustin's will have a new home since theirs was destroyed by Katrina.
8:28-The Brook-err New Jersey Nets are up, and everyone says go for a center.
8:29-Brook Lopez is a wise choice. Not sure if he'll be able to play as well without his bro Robin because they won't be able to activate their Wondertwin Powers. Robin seems to have separation anxiety.
8:35-Sorry Jamaal Tinsley, but all the crimes will not be tolerated by Larry Legend, and Jerryd Bayless is taken. But how does he work with TJ Ford? I cannot say.
8:37-Jerryd can golf. And he can also follow whatever orders are given to him. I'm impressed!
8:42-Jason Thompson to the Kings? Cool. He went to Rider, and his dad is a referee. I expect him to NEVER foul out. I wish I had that type of growth spurt, from 6'1" to 6'11".
8:46-What will the Blazers and Warriors do? Both were very solid last year, enough that they would have made the playoffs in the East. Oden comes back next year to Portland, so they can just get REAL solid.
8:47-Brandon Rush is probably less of an idiot than his brothers, was hurt in a year ago (torn ACL), and he will be another nasty cog in the system. No mention of JaRon luckily. And 3 times is the charm of draft declarations.
8:49-Andy Katz was the first person to say "Quite frankly" tonight, and STEPHEN A.'S MIC WAS MUTED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT MR. KATZ WAS MAKING FUN OF HIS CANCELLED ESPN2 TALK SHOW!
8:51-Anthony Randolph? Really? I really don't like him as an NBA player, especially after the terrible record he led LSU to last year. He only weighs 197! Shaq could break him in half.

Well, it wasn't the most entertaining lottery (Hell, Hilton Armstrong crashed his car twice when he was 15.). But it just seems weird with all these freshman being taken. Anyways, Randolph thinks he can play, and Vitale appears! AHHH I MUST FLEEEEEEEEEE

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