Oh my GOD, GREG ROBINSON MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S!

We all like to know what's going on back home, especially when a dude from Barenaked Ladies gets caught with some coke in our home 'ville. So I make my daily checking back in, and what do I see?


Yes, I know "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is sooo dope, but look at that dope in the bottom right! What the fuck is so unknown? We suck! A Robinson "unknown press conference" would contain the following sample dialogue:

Press: Is this your breakthrough year, like last year and the year before?
Robinson:I guess I just don't know!
Press: How badly will you guys fuck up to lose this game?
Robinson: Not sure what ridiculous trick play we'll run as the fourth quarter runs out, but I think the quadruple reverse is high on my priority list.
Press: Who is starting..?
Robinson: GODDAMNIT I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK! I KNOW WE FUCKING SUCK! Look at the main story on suahtletics football page:
WE HAVE SOME GREAT PERFORMERS IN THE NFL! HOW ABOUT THAT?
Press: They all played under Pasqualoni. Coach, have you watched your team practice for the opener?
Robinson: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN TEXAS!

Gold Medal Live-Bloggin'

A late start, but regular starters for Team USA, and the regularly racist line-up from the Spanish except for injured Jose Calderon. The Americans destroyed the Spanish when they last met in group play 106-57. Oh, and on NBC's online, no Doug Collins!
2:34AM: LeBron starts things off with a 3, but Pau returns the favor with a bucket and foul, 3-3. Oh yeah, Dwight Howard somehow trips Pau on the tip-off?
2:37AM: Ah, Melo and that international 3-point-line, but Carlos Jimenez answers right back, 10-9 Spain.
2:39AM: Melo fouls on a tip, and then Kobe fouls on a long 2, so here comes Dwyane Wade.
2:41AM: Ricky Rubio is only 17, but he is sure doing wonders for his draft stock by putting in some good d on Jason Kidd.
2:43AM: A floater for Juan Carlos Navarro, but Chris Paul cherry picks, gets the foul and bucket from Ricky Rubio, and Rubio now has a tweaked wrist.
2:45AM: 4:18 left in the first, and it's 22-17 Spain behind some great ball handling through pressure. But Chris Paul with another amazing bucket and foul, and it's only 22-20 USA.
2:59AM: Dwight Howard intentionals Pau, who hits 1 of 2. Spain with the ball.
2:46AM: Pau just tipped the ball to himself 5 times from point-blank range and missed every one. Here comes little brother Marc. And for those Spanish who have somehow claimed direct ancestry from Neandertals, Marc seems to be their only true link.
2:49AM: Wade steals and reverse jams, Garabajosa comes right back, then Tayshaun hits a 2. 28-25 USA.
2:51AM: Ricky Rubio (with a taped wrist) unsuccessfully looks for the offensive foul from Dwyane Wade, and Spain is in the penalty. Wade hits the first, misses the second, which is cleaned up by Bosh. 31-25 USA.
2:53AM: Marc Gasol sandwiches two pretty nice buckets around Dwyane Wade free throws. 35-29 USA.
2:54AM: Had Deron Williams not fouled him and put Spain into the bonus, Ricky Rubio would have been #1 on SportsCenter's Top 10 with quite the dribble and probably a nasty pass.
2:55AM: Rubio hits both free throws, Wade gets a steal with 5 seconds left and manages to lose control on the 2-on-1 fast break after he has hit a 3. 38-31 USA.
What a quarter for America! But the Spanish are still in it thanks to some excellent ballhandling and great shooting.
2:57AM: Second quarter underway, and Marc Gasol elbows Melo in the face in the post. We call that an offensive foul.
2:58AM: Kobe for 3. 41-31 USA.
2:59AM: Rubio may be able to dribble with the wrist, but he can't shoot, and Kobe takes the long rebound and jams it. 43-31 USA.
3:01AM: Marc Gasol ("brothers Gasol are straight twin-towering it"-5t\_/5c0tt) pushes Melo in the back for an offensive rebound and puts it back up. 43-33 USA.
3:03AM: Melo for 3. 46-33 USA.
3:04AM: Two straight no-calls against the Americans, and then a pretty obviously clean strip by Kidd is another foul for him, and CP3 is coming in.
3:05AM: Paul to Kobe on the alley-oop, 48-40 USA.
3:06AM: Lots of fouls in this one (howard just fouled Jimenez, who hit 2 free throws, 48-42 USA). USA better hope their big men are not getting most of them since they have so few.
3:07AM: LeBron with the nastiest mid-air up-and-under and the foul on Ricky Rubio. Misses the free throw, 50-42 USA.
3:08AM: DWade steal and slam, 52-42 USA, timeout Spain. The Miami Heat have to be excited with how well he is playing.
3:09AM: On the subject, Wade hits a 3 and he has 18 already. 55-42 USA.
3:10AM: LeBron answers Felipe Reyes 2 with a 3. 58-45 USA.
3:11AM: Kobe gets a nasty dribble-drive but his pass to Bosh is off.
3:11AM: Rudy Fernandez with 5 straight and the Spanish are down 58-49.
3:12AM: Deron in for Kobe. Tayshaun tips in a Bosh miss (the Spanish keep collapsing on USA's big man every time, which works for the long-armed "the Prince of Defense" and his gigantic wingspan.)
3:14AM: Wade show continues, 63-51 USA after his three, but it's already down to 63-54 with the Rudy 3.
3:15AM: Some good Spanish passing, Marc Gasol touches an assist to Reyes to answer 2 CP3 free throws, 65-56 USA.
3:17AM: 65-58 USA after Tayshaun tries to slow down Rudy on a pick, and the Notre Dame legend hits 2 free throws.
3:19AM: Tayshaun gets an offensive rebound to give USA the rest of the quarter to score, but a foul puts Paul on the line with 26.8 seconds left. he hits both, 69-61 USA.
3:20AM: Wade misses the buzzer beater, but he still has 21 and USA leads 69-61 at the half. I feel like I'm watching an NBA All-Star game with these shooting percentages. It's amazing what Jimmy B has done with Team USA's ability to play against the zone. Essentially the offense that every team runs against SU and that he runs against man-to-man defenses. I'll be back for the second half if I don't fall asleep.
3:36AM: We're back and Kidd turns it over, leading to a Reyes 2. 69-63 USA.
3:37AM: Kobe air balls, then makes a great pass to LeBron who is the loser on the no-call.
3:38AM: Howard hits a 2, and Reyes right back. 71-65 USA.
3:39AM: Pau is hit in the face after a nice fadeaway (71-67 USA) and then we get to hear some cussin' online. How exciting. Dwight misses 2 free throws, but Melo cleans up and is fouled. Misses the free throw and Kobe fouls on the rebound. 73-67 USA.
3:41AM: Navarro floater and it's only 4.
3:42AM: Dwight with the dunk and a bit of a momentum buster. USA needs more big plays like that. But another Navarro floater makes it 75-71 USA. Coach K calls a timeout, and he is cussin'.
3:44AM: Melo misses a 3 out of the timeout, but gets an outlet on some good defense and makes it 77-71 USA.
3:45AM: No USA rebounding AND Jimenez gets an open lay-up. 77-73 USA.
3:46AM: LeBron is answered by Unfrozen Caveman, who is answered by a LeBron "AND ONE" that includes a missed free throw. 81-75 USA. Also, referees are just plain not calling fouls. Did I just see David Beckham?
3:49AM: Good zone offensive rebounding and passing and Bosh is going to the line for 2. He hits both, 83-76 USA.
3:50AM: Kobe escapes an ill-advised shot with a pass to Wade, who is fouled in the act. He hits 1 of 2, USA 84-76. He then makes it 86-76 off of a Spanish turnover.
3:54AM: Navarro answered by Deron to make it 88-78, then Deron tries goin 1 on 2 and gets called for a charge.
3:55AM: Melo answers Gasol's 2with a 3, 91-80 USA with time winding down. And Wade is called for a travel with 12.2 seconds left.
3:56AM: Navarro beats the buzzer for Spain, but the Americans increased their lead and I think have built enough momentum to hold on. Fourth quarter coming up shortly.
3:59AM: LeBron called for the loose ball foul on a fast break to start the quarter, still 91-82 USA.
4:00AM: Pau gets a tip-in, 91-84 USA.
4:01AM: Kobe bricks a 3 against the zone without a pass. Rudy gets a nasty pass to Pau, another terrible USA shot, a Rudy 3 (Touchdown Jesus is going CRAZAY) and its now 91-89? Holy shit was I wrong! Dwight Howard enters for USA.
4:03AM: Kobe with a big 2, but now USA needs to get some stops if they want to win this. 93-89 USA.
4:04AM: Big 3 from Deron after LeBron picked up his 4th foul. 96-89 USA.
4:05AM: It takes a block to make Kobe drive and dish to Howard for the jam, 98-89.
4:06AM: No rebounding from USA, and Rudy retries a 3 to make it 98-92, and then Kobe responds with a 3 to make it 101-92.
4:07AM: LeBron hits a second-chancer to make it 103-92, and the RUDY FERNANDEZ DUNKED ON DWIGHT HOWARD and hits a free throw,103-95 USA.
4:08AM: Kobe is "ill-advised 3" again.
4:09AM: But then he pins a pass to Gasol against the backboard. Howard is hacked and will probably miss these 2 free throws. Maybe they should try a little harder to get Amare on this team again. He makes 1 of 2, 104-95 USA.
4:10AM: Another Spanish offensive rebound and Howard commits his 4th foul Pau and now they're in the bonus with 4:02 left. Pau hits both and its 104-97 USA.
4:12AM: Pau hits a jumper as Bosh is the victim of a no-call and then KOBE HAS A CHANCE FOR A 4-POINT PLAY and RUDY FERNANDEZ FOULS OUT. Things just got a lot easier for USA. And Beckham should try cheering for his own country for once. Kobe makes the free throw,108-99 USA.
4:14AM: Navarro hits a 2 and Jimenez a 3 and its 108-104 before a Wade 3 makes it 111-104 USA. A Spanish timeout (cute cheerleaders for the Castillians). USA continues to hit the big shots and keep Spain from getting any closer than the two-point margin earlier in the quarter. Coach K isn't cussin' as much, probably due to Wade's 27 points saving his ass and probably getting his a gold medal.
4:17AM: Rubio throws a long board of Paul and Spain has another possession which comes up empty. 113-105 USA.
4:18AM: Kobe floats one in, and Spain starts to trap/foul intentionally.
4:19AM: CP3 hits 2 and its a 10 point lead.
4:20AM: Marc cleans up for Pau and makes it 115-107 USA.
4:21AM: Great inbounds play from USA and CP3 manages to waste quite a bit of time and Kobe hits 2 technical free throws.CP3 will shoot 2 and then USA gets the ball. I am declaring victory! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Ah, just like SUPA Econ again. CP3 hits 1 of 2 and Redd and Boozer get to come off the bench. And Rubio doesn't have a left hand. 118-107 USA.
4:24AM: That is it, let's shake some hands and get that god damn medal. And I guess I get to see Manu again as the Argintineans took the bronze earlier. I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!
4:25AM: So many shades of Econ class with the cneter court celebration right next to the Spanish. Except McGuigan is not a complete asshole like Coach K (to clarify, the exact opposite).
4:38AM: Wow, the Superbad theme. I feel like the Chinese stole a very mainstream stoner's iPod and put it on shuffle for the Olympic basketball tournament.
4:41AM: I'm about to fall asleep, so I'm going to live blog an archived online video of the medal ceremony later today. One last time:
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Leroi Moore 1961-2008

I've recently been on a tear in terms of writing blogs when things die. Now, I have come to hate Dave Matthews Band, mostly due to Dave Matthews, but when I was a in high school, I could not get enough. His only recent good work has been his role in Zohan. But could that motherfucker surround himself with talent, and one of my favorites was Leroi Moore. The man hated the spotlight, but he was by far the most talented member of the group. I'm sure Jeff Coffin will fill in damn well temporarily, but Leroi recently passed away from complications due to an ATV accident. Of my fondest memories of DMB concerts, most primarily involved Leroi as well as his partnership with Rashawn "Big Sexy" Ross. And boy, could Leroi play a penny whistle, among various saxophones and some sorts of clarinets. Without the showmanship of Boyd or Carter, he could still dominate a concert with his musical acumen.

I'm hoping Dave calls quits on the group after this summer. It just feels like its time since it is no longer an original line up. Then again, I am no longer a fan, so this opinion is pretty much meaningless.

More sports coming soon.

Mike and the Mad Dog: 1989-2008 (WFAN), 2002-2008 (YES Simulcast)

Ah, you never even got the chance to legally drink alcohol, unless you traveled in Europe after high school. Or recently went to Canada. What will we miss? How about the guessing of league leaders in batting average? The ridiculous phone interviews? The telling-off of supposed idiots. Mad Dog was the voice of this operation, but Francesca was the brains. Too bad he doesn't have Russo's charisma, so he doesn't have much of a chance of surviving long on the FAN. He does however, have the power of alliteration (Francesca on the FAN has a good ring, eh?). But if we were to make a headstone for this experience (It was more than a radio show; it was also a simulcast.), it would look like this:

Ah, glorious television. Goooooooooooodbye, MikeAndTheMadDog!

Ah, Donte, Donte, Donte!

As we reported here earlier this week on how Donte would not be welcome in Houston with his big mouth and Rick Adelman's extreme distaste for both his attitude and style of play, Donte done turned around and got his ass traded to Sacramento along with Bobby Jackson and a future first rounder for Ronald William Artest Jr. Yao was skeptical, but if there ever was a time for impressive trios to take over the League, except for Scranton GM Dwight Schrute, who would tend to disagree, preferring the "curse of three" in order that Andrew Bernard not join him and Michael Scott in the traveling squad to New York to hang with the temp, it is now. KG, Paul Pierce, and Jesus Shuttlesworth did so in Boston; Ron-Ron, Yao, and McGrady are about to try it out in Houston; Gasol, Bryant, and a healthy Andrew Bynum could be scary for the Lakers; the Spurs with Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili. Surrounding three stars with a supporting cast could be he wave of the future, and I don't think guys leaving for Europe is really going to be an issue in terms of filling those support roles. Josh Childress is good, but not that good. Olimpiakos has definitely overvalued him, and no other NBA team even made an offer for a reason (read: he is fucking mediocre).

But back to Donte. Rick Adelman just granted him his wish! He is going to contribute, and he'll also start to fade into obscurity a la Bison Dele. Reggie Theus will let Donte shoot, but unless the shot doctor somehow appeared and taught him how to fix everything he has been doing wrong in a lucid dream, Mr. Theus will see Donte's misses and lack of defense and show him to the bench. Anyway you look at it, it still looks like a bad choice in terms of the future for Donte to leave after this year. But the worst part? Donte must officially remain a Rocket for two weeks because he signed his contract on July 14. Rick Adelman may spend the whole time pulling a Dale Sturvetant on him, but I'm unsure of how helpful that will be.