Inaccurate Sports Scenes Nobody Will Ever Care About: Rocko's Modern Life

Remember the old Rocko's Modern Life where Rocko and Mr. Bighead were facing off in the finals of their bowling league? Mr. Bighead had won some ridiculous number of years in a row, and Rocko had just started bowling, so, being the surly guy that he was, it bothered Mr. Bighead that Rocko got to the finals and was hanging with him in the final game.

Anyway, Rocko and Mr. Bighead got down to the tenth frame, with Mr. Bighead bowling last. When he stepped up to shoot, the announcers noted that he needed only one pin to win the league. (You mean your bowling league doesn't have announcers?) If you've seen the episode, you know that Mr. Bighead, in an act of sheer defiance, kicks the ball down the gutter intentionally for his first shot, and ends up completely destroying every inch of the bowling alley—except for the pins—with his second shot. In the last scene of the episode, Rocko wins the league trophy—in quite humble and gracious fashion, I might add. Very funny stuff, but that's not the issue here.

My question is: How can Mr. Bighead have needed only one pin to win the league? If he needed just one pin, that implies that he and Rocko were tied heading into the final frame; if Rocko were ahead, one pin would have, at best, tied him. Assuming they were tied, one pin would win the league, yes, but wouldn't the fact that he rolled a zero on his tenth frame leave them tied? Instead, Rocko immediately won. I would think that the two would have to play another game to determine the league championship.

Or maybe Mr. Bighead's league had some bylaw concerning tiebreakers, à la the Big Ten and the Rose Bowl, where the first tiebreaker is that last year's team can never go a second consecutive year.

Or maybe they did play a tiebreaker game but it was edited out in the interests of time.

I'm not sure. All I do know is that when you need just one point to win, in any sport, you're probably tied. (I'm sure there's some example where this is not true, but I think enough thought's been put into this for one night.) GP, out.

A few observations from the Richmond game and the parts of the UNC-UK game I could stomach

Syracuse-Richmond
-Arinze looked solid as hell. I don't care who it was against, he didn't even miss a free throw (he took one). His touch looks amazing.
-Devendorf didn't show much ill effect from the ACL, including his own personal 8 point burst near the middle of the 2nd half.
-Andy, however, just never looked comfortable out there and had an ofer from he field.
-I guess Mookie is considered a project? Hopefully he continues to get minutes in blowouts, or he stole someone's ID.
-I felt like Devo dropped acid for those 2 consecutive travels.
-Jonny, why can't you dunk ON people? You always can dunk with space, but when there's someone under you, you hit the back rim. So, Nancy Kerrigan asks:

Must be something really hard in the rim (of the color black?).
-So many instances of the Boeheim face that one could not count them on just the hands, they would need toes and maybe even ears.
-This morning on Anthony Gargano's show on WIP, the kings of sports talk in Philadelphia, they couldn't stop talking about how dumb McNabb was for not knowing there were ties in the NFL, as well as how Jim Boeheim declared he did not know about NFL ties, which led them to call Boeheim dumb too. My question for Mr. Gargano is not a question. It is a statement in bold: JIM BOEHEIM IS A FUCKING COLLEGE BASKETBALL COACH YOU FUCKING RUSTY TROMBONIST. SINCE WHEN DOES HE NEED TO KNOW THE FUCKING NFL RULEBOOK? MAYBE HE DOESN'T EVEN WATCH THE NFL YOU FREQUENT RECIPIENT OF CLEVELAND STEAMERS. I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A NARWHAL. THE HORN OF A NARWHAL YOU SHITBRAIN.

UNC-UK
-I bet His Airness suggested the non-button-down with the pinstripe suit for Psycho T to wear on the bench, except Hansbrough forgot the gold chain around the neck. Tyler should instead listen to another former Carolina player: Rasheed Wallace, who sits on the bench in uniform even if he is hurt.
-Patrick Patterson and Deon Thompson are 2 of the better big men in the country. The difference between the two? The guards on Patrick Patterson's team all play like they had their hands chopped off.
-When Dick Vitale starts verbally masturbating to players on Duke or UNC, it makes me write text messages that read like so:

"I want to punch Dick Vitale in the ovaries, then punch Tyler Hansbrough in the fallopian tube, and then bang EA."

Yeah, I'm fucking serious about this. emancipateusfromdickvitale.com coming soon?

That is all for now. I'll be back on Sunday with some power rankings, where I will take these and update them for this week and hopefully for every week the rest of the season. Until then, watch out for the Joe Biden experience...coming soon!