Group E

Today we got to see two teams, Slovenia and Ghana, luck out on red cards, and one other, Germany, make every team in the field collectively poop their Zoobaz. Australia is pretty darn mediocre, but Germany looked like Spain picking them apart in the Euro 08 final. Not saying much, but until another team can get a goal differential that high after their first game, Germany is looking like the favorite. Let's take some Group E:

Netherlands
Nickname:Oranje, A Clockwork Orange
Abbreviation: NED
Last World Cup: 2006: The Netherlands finished second in the Group of Death, with Argentina's 6 goal thrashing of Serbia and Montenegro keeping them from getting first. The knockout stage was unkind, as it has always been for the Dutch. In the World Cup game with the most cards shown, both Portugal and the Oranje finished with 9 players and a Maniche goal was the difference. As usual, the Dutch will be playing with a chip on their shoulder.
How did they get here?: A cruise through qualifying saw the Dutch become the first European team to clinch a spot in South Africa with no blemishes.
Manager: Bert van Marjwik is not regarded on the same level of play as predecessor Marco van Basten, he probably won't make as unreasonable of substitutions as van Basten did during Euro 08, when his substitution at half of the knockout game with Russia killed Dutch chemistry and led to a victory in extra time for the Russians. van Marjwik has been much wiser in his management.
Player to watch: Wesley Sneijder, Inter Milan. The midfielder may be diminutive in stature, but in skill he is one of the best of the world. Cast off from the Bernabeu after no silverware arrived, he was an essential piece of Jose Mourinho's efforts to achieve the treble this past year. He'll look to continue his run of good play setting up the potent Dutch attack.
Player not to watch: Ruud van Nistelroy, Hamburg. The finisher rarely fails to take advantage of an opportunity, and despite missing significant time in his career and having retired from the national side, Ruud has seen a renaissance in Lower Saxony, and decided to make himself available. He will not be needed, as the Dutch will field Robin van Persie, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, Dirk Kuyt, Ryan Babel, and Ruud's Hamburg teammate Eljero Elia give the Dutch a plethora of options to use up front.
Another is recent international retiree Edwin van der Sar, the most capped player of all time who has been an anchor in goal. Ajax first choice Martin Stekelenburg is a worthy replacement and will do fine.
Prediction: This Dutch team has been strong, having only lost to Australia in a friendly since their exit from Euro 08. This team will have a healthy front line, a strong midfield, and a good defense. However, the defense needs to step up as they were the primary blame for the Euro exit. This team will definitely get past this group and should get deep in the knockout stage.

Denmark

Nickname: Olsens Elleve (Olsen's Eleven-they just LOVE Matt Damon over there)
Abbreviation: DEN
Last World Cup: 2002: The Danes took Group A, finishing off the shaming of defending champions France, before bowing out in the round of 16 with a 3-0 loss to England.
How did they get here?: A struggling Sweden and Portugal made it very easy for the Danes to take first in their group and seal a spot in the Final.
Manager: Morten Olsen aka George Clooney. He was on active duty for the Danish national team for 15 years, and he was an important part of their run to the semifinals in Euro 1984 and their advancement past the group stage in the 1986 World Cup.
Player to watch: Nicklad Bendtner, Arsenal. He was in great form for Arsenal this past season when called upon, which was often with the injuries piling on. He will be essential in his work up front with Jon Dahl Tomasson and Soren Larsen up front.
Player not to watch: Peter Schmeichel. One of the top 2 keepers of all-time (between him and Lev Yashin), Schmeichel was essential to the Danes' run to win Euro in 2002. Now they rely on a less legendary but capable keeper in Stoke City's Thomas Sorensen. Not the same, but the best available.
Prediction: Playing for second behind the Oranje with the rest of the group, Denmark have the advantage of coming in lacking any issues. But we may want to watch out for any Roligans. I still think they don't progress, as Cameroon looks ready to play.

Japan
Nickname: Samurai Blue
Abbreviation: JPN
Last World Cup: 2006: After taking advantage of their hosting duties to get out of an extremely easy group, they were knocked out by another surprise participant, Turkey.
How did they get here?: Asian qualification makes each draw easy for them, and they dominated their group with Australia in the final round of qualification.
Manager: Takeshi Okada, who previously coached the Japanese in the 1998 World Cup. Japan saw their best success under Brazilian Zico in that 2002 World Cup.
Player to watch: Keisuke Honda, CSKA Moscow. Honda started off the season making free kicks exciting at VVV Venlo in the Eredivisie, and after a transfer to Russia did the same, scoring two goals in 11 appearances, including a goal in the round of 16 that sealed an aggregate victory over Sevilla.
Player not to watch: Shinji Kagawa, Borussia Dortrmund. The young talent was left off the final roster despite being set to join the German side for next season and having been capped 13 times.
Prediction: The Japanese are not the strongest team in Asia. That title goes to South Korea. I don't think they can deal with the skill and physicality presented by any other teams in this group, and they will not reach the knockout stage.

Cameroon

Nickname: Les Lions Indomptables (The Indomitable Lions)

Abbreviation: CMR

Last World Cup: 2002: A win was not enough to progress to the knockout stage as a loss to Germany and Ireland remaining undefeated left them in 3rd in Group E.
How did they get here?: Easy work in both group stages got the Lions an easy ticket to South Africa.
Manager: Paul Le Guen, who made a living as a defender for PSG for 8 years before coaching Lyon and PSG to Ligue 1 titles before Cameroon came calling.
Player to watch: Samuel Eto'o. The striker from Inter is the best to have ever played for Cameroon, and made their World Cup team in 1998 at 17. He looks to feast on the weak defenses in the Lions' group. After some controversy involving the other player considered the best in Cameroon's top player, Roger Milla, made about Eto'o's lack of effort for Cameroon due to it being used for his European clubs, the striker was ready to quit the team until he shut up. Luckily, he has been silenced.
Player not to watch: Jacques Zoua, FC Basel. The young striker will be left out due to injury from what could have been his coming out party as defenses focussed on Eto'o.
Prediction: With Eto'o in the fold along with Alex Song and his uncle, defensive legend Rigobert, expect Cameroon to have a strong showing a progress to the knockout stage.

World Cup: Group D and US Recap

Now THIS GROUP I can get into.
Let's kick up the 4d3d3 like Argentina did today in order to barely salvage three points. Maybe five amazing strikers is a bit too much, as Lionel Messi is out there doing what he wants. But Messi generally can do whatever he wants on the pitch.
How about Greece? They just don't play well in tournaments. They took an extra five minutes to let in their first goal this World Cup, and they were just dominated by the Red Devils. The Koreans have a chance to make it to the knockout stage with that victory.

Germany
Nickname: Die Mannschaft (The Team-how bleak and German, makes me think of Das Boot)
Abbreviation: GER
Last World Cup: 2006: The hosts made a surprise run to the semifinals where they fell to two Italian stoppage time goals in extra time, but did seal third place in Oliver Kahn's last cap with a victory over Portugal. Jurgen Klinsmann was lauded for his efforts and amazing attacking he got out of the group.
How did they get here?: An easy domination of their group, with only two draws to blemish their record and a +21 goal differential.
Manager: Joachim Low, who helped lead them to second in Euro 2008. Low was an assistant under Klinsmann and has been a natural fit succeeding him and continuing the attacking style.
Players to watch: Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski combining up front. The two Polish-born strikers were teammates for a couple seasons at Bayern, but Klose chose to return to Cologne with his role with the German giants in doubt.
Player not to watch: Captain Michael Ballack, who sits with an injury sustained from a tackle by Ghanian (OMG SAME GROUPZ>!>!!?!?!?!) Kevin Prince-Boateng of Portsmouth during the FA Cup Final. This is the problem with Chelsea: too many damn good players in the World Cup, meaning any injury will take away from the biggest tournament.
Another note on this: Prince-Boateng's half-brother Jerome will be playing defense for Germany. The two haven't spoken since the foul (I don't speak German, I got a translation). I expect some England-Portugal style drama during this one.
Prediction: Ballack will surely be missed, but this team shouldn't have any missteps during this one. I'm feeling a deep run for The Team.

Serbia
Nickname: Bell Orlovi (White Eagles)
Abbreviation: SRB
Last World Cup: 2006: (with Montenegro): They weren't expecting three losses, but that is what they got in what turned out to be the Group of Death. One was especially bad: 6-0 at the hands of Argentina. Pretty sorry effort from a team considered a defensive stalwart and probably a good jumping off point in the motivational talk from...uh...a Serbian celebrity.
How did they get here?: Losses to France and Lithuania, both away, were the only blemishes as they easily took Group 7.
Manager: Radomir Antic. You know he's seedy because he has managed both Real Madrid and Barcelona. Only in Serbia.
Player to watch:

Milla Jovovich. The statuesque actress, famous for her portrayal of Leeloo Dallas Multipass in The Fifth Element, will be a huge asset in the midfield. Her looks will...wait, nevermind, it's Milan Jovanovic, false alarm. And he's actually a pretty good playmaker at the wing who will be joining Liverpool for the next season.
Player not to watch: Defender Ivica Draguitinovic, who plays for Sevilla, is injured. With him, the Iron Curtain would be back up with a backline including Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic. Alas, he will not make it, and Dave O'Brien won't be able to butcher his name either this year.
Prediction: A strong defense will have a better complement at offense now that Montenegro is gone. And with the other teams in the group not completely at full strength, they have the best chance to take second behind the Germans.

Ghana
Nickname: The Black Star (so I can post this video:
)
Abbreviation: GHA
Last World Cup: 2006: The Black Stars shat on my dreams, beating the Americans after I skipped school to watch their final game of that World Cup. A victory of the Czechs also got them to the second round, where they proceeded to be easily dealt with by the Brazilians.
How did they get here?: Only a loss to Benin and a tie to Mali kept them from a perfect record in the third round as they easily progressed to the continent's first World Cup.
Manager: Milovan Rajevac. Also Serbian, also seedy (he played for Red Star Belgrade when they were owned by the mob and the fans were essentially a militia.
Player to watch: Sulley Muntari, the captain is out, and this midfielder who makes his money at Inter will be asked to step up and help control the midfield, an essential activity in this group.
Player not to watch: Michael Essien, injured just like fellow Chelski star Ballack, will miss the tournament after getting hurt in the African Cup of Nations.
Prediction: Still strong without Essien, his work as a holding midfielder will surely be missed. They may make it out of the group, but no farther than the round of 16 in the knockout stage.

Australia
Nickname: Socceroos
Abbreviation: AUS
Last World Cup: 2006: The Roos were bounced at the last possible moment by a Luca Toni flop and the subsequent Francesco Totti penalty.
How did they get here?: Asian qualification, and it was sort of difficult, marked by losses to Iraq and China, and then in the final stage more swimmingly with no losses.
Manager: Pim Verbeek, a Dutchman, so you know they play damn pretty.
Player to watch: Brett Emerton of Blackburn Rovers, who will hope to not duplicate his lack of success by not getting two yellow cards in his team's second group game. He'll be playing with what we call "a chip on his shoulder."
Player not to watch: James Holland, a star in the making at AZ, but at only 21 years old, his lack of experience left him off the final squad.
Prediction: This group is death, and Australia will be receiving the blunt of its trauma. Sorry, Roos, maybe 2014.

USA!
Quite the result for the Stars and Stripes. Out of nowhere. No one expected the Three Lions to have good goalkeeping, but no one expected it to nip their chances to reach the knockout stage even this lightly. Robert Green made a fool of himself and probably caused some Englishmen to kill themselves yesterday (I mean that seriously, not as a joke). The Americans lucked out big time. But so did the English. The Americans got some good looks in as well, and it could have been 5-1 either way at full time. The Americans need to be ready for Algeria, and be especially ready to take 3 points. Otherwise, this effort will have been for naught.
And Oguchi Onyewu may be the next great American defender by his body type, but he is NOTHING compared to that adulterer John Terry, who plays with a passion that Gooch may lack due to his knee injury not being healed to his satisfaction. Whatever the situation, he does not look to be in the shape to participate in a World Cup Final.

Until next time, look for some tweets right here. And tweet back.