Moving on to more meaningful current events, but because of our recession, it seems that Wikipedia has also devolved. I couldn't believe this shit:
The featured article of the day for the English version of Wikipedia...is TYRONE WHEATLEY?!!!?!!111//1/1?!?!?!?1/1/!?1?1?!?! If Wikipedia were the true measure of American attitude to the depression, here is what would be happening right now:
1.) All universities would burned for warmth and the metal scrapped.
2.) In an ode to the Dominican impoverished population's dedication to baseball, children would take all their parents' checks and cash and paper mache them into helmets and pads to play football.
Well, that sounds pretty god damn sad, so I think I'm going to keep it political and move onto some presidential campaign bullshit. First off, on Deadspin, I read that John McCain is getting herbal supplements from Bill Romanowski (The link is so worth it to see the face John McCain will make when he shits himself to death in 4 years). Also, this whole situation implies one thing: John McCain is a steroid user. Look, "Romocop" may be off the juice now, but really, he's probably still on it because who the fuck is going to drug test him now? Does Roger Goodell give a shit about Bill Romanowski? No. But I guess John McCain does, and that shit is big enough that he is willing to take steroids. Didn't Jason Grimsley get busted while he was playing for the Diamondbacks? From what I'm reading, John McCain is very pro-steroid. If he is elected, I'm thinking lots of dudes' balls will shrink and further decrease the birth rate, which should help the approaching overpopulation of the planet. But Sarah Palin will probably grow balls.
And the vice presidential debate! Never has losing looked so much like winning to every idiot pundit in our country! I went to the gym after the debate and I was only listening as those idiot talking heads "analyzed" the debates. And for some reason, the fact that she didn't lose that badly was a victory for the McCain campaign. I'm sorry, but she came off, and I know this next sentence will be the most offensive thing I will EVER put on this blog, but she came off to me as being even more retarded than her infant child. In foreign policy, she made the most common bullshit Republican misconception on Iran her main point: Ahmadinejad is in control of Iran. In reality, it was sort of like how Lane Kiffin was reportedly in control of the Raiders. And her plan to put the American embassy to Israel in Jerusalem? That one was pretty much out of left field no country has an embassy in Jerusalem proper and no one is proposing it), and will pretty much piss off every Palestinian ally and make a peace deal that much more unlikely if she and McCain do bring that up. She only had talking points. She had no response to anything that Biden said, and he gave her something she couldn't even defend herself about when he made fun of the Bridge to Nowhere, which she reportedly actually took the money for but then didn't have it built. Funny thing is that in Wasilla, if you get sexually assaulted, you have to pay out of your own pocket for the pap smear, and she has all that extra money, and NOW she is about women's rights? Sarah Palin is a sick fucking joke who in reality has such a lack of foreign policy experience that I could teach her something in a debate, which is sad.
Anyways, all this shows is that McCain is Bob Dole redux (he was also a war hero you know, and essentially also an incompetent liar). And if our country somehow elects him, well, I'll just miss Bill Clinton a whole lot more. Please don't elect him. PLEASE. Too bad Syracuse can't lose a game to increase my faith in the world.
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