Today I finally got to go to a supermarket, and let's just say that things here in Israel make Wegman's look like white dog poop. My jet lag was still an issue, so I headed to Mister Zol at 8:00 to get some product for myself. First thing you notice: the produce is bazily fresh. How can it not be since it is all coming from within a three hour drive to Jerusalem? Rhetorical question, I know. This means besides the apples being ripe, so are the oranges, and so are the bananas and so are the avocadoes and DON'T YOU EVER FORGET ABOUT THE PERSIMMONS. Israel is also at the crossroads of the world, right where Asia, Europe, and Africa meet, and this centralized location makes immigration even more melting-potty than the US, meaning your standard grocer here carries products from a lot of countries, including pumpkin noodles (also bazily, though made to be preserved so not exactly fresh). All things being kosher, as well as being extremely fresh since it is mostly slaughtered and prepared in Israel is also helpful. So I was able to have a delightful dinner of stir-fried pumpkin noodles, grilled chicken, fresh spinach, fresh red pepper, and fresh mushrooms. What a delight.
But for lunch, the name of the game was Burgers Bar. No offense to you Californians, but Burgers Bar, though much more expensive, makes In-N-Out look like a McDonalds where Ronald personally poops on each burger right in front of the person who eats it. Even if that person happens to be waiting for someone to bring them said burger in another location. Student discounts make it less of a splurge than it has to be. I had a lamb burger with fresh tomato, lettuce and Israeli pickles (much more garlic than an American pickle along with not being a gherkin but a much smaller cucumber), as well as a squirt of pesto on each side. And don't get me started on the French fries, which are real French fries because I watched the dude slice the potato right above the deep fryer in order that it would drop into it. Everything was finished at the same time, and then I was able to enjoy a tender lamb burger and succulent fries with a Fanta made with sugar at the same time. Amazing.
Anyways, tomorrow, myself and some American friends are going to try to watch the draft at an Irish Pub that is essentially open all the time. Hopefully, 2:00 (military time, represent) will not cause them to turn a haughty eye towards us Yanks as people discuss uncertainty on television and give lofty expectations to people who are barely out of high school.
Anyways, we know the deal with the Clippers and Blake Griffin and the #1 slot (remember when I predicted he'd be player of the year?). But afterwards? Here is my take on the lottery:
2. Memphis Grizzlies-Brandon Jennings-Showed way more this year in Europe according to nbadraft.net, and peep this EuroMix from Free Darko:
3. OKC Thunder-James Harden-just think about it: Westbrook at the 1, Harden at the 2, Durant at the 3, Green at the 4, and maybe someone else besides Nenad Krstic as the future at center. The 1-4 make me want to play NBA 2K10(?) for days.
4. Sacramento Kings-Ricky Rubio-we know about the weird-ass workout, but maybe it is time to put "European White Chocolate" in place. Otherwise, Beno Udrih looks like that appealing of an option. Beno Udrih. GOB says, "COME ON!"
5. Minnesota Timberwolves-Hasheem Thabeet-just what the doctor ordered, someone who can take the pressure off Big Al in the post. I like the future with Thabeet (don't hate, dude can pick and pop the midrange), and being hurt will let him slip a little.
6. Timberwolves-No more Randy Foye, so I'm assuming one goes guard here, and what better way than the point with Stephen Curry, who will also need some time but could form a lethal triad with Big Al and Hasheem eventually, and it looks like losing is in the cards with the economic crisis and the expected offloading of the acquired contracts from the Wizards.
7. Golden State Warriors-Jordan Hill-It's time to admit Nellie Ball is what it is and get a fourth thin big to put in that lineup. Might as well start running with this lineup and get the easy deuces.
8. New York Knicks-TRADE-they were waiting for Curry or Rubio, and Tyreke Evans is not the same (Remember how Steve Nash can pull up for 3? Yeah, Tyreke had a lot of trouble with that concept last year while playing shooting guard and really kept it in the lane when he played point), so maybe a trade is in order.
9. Toronto Raptors-Chase Budinger-Chris Bosh, who royally fucked my fantasy team last year, wants to cash in in 2010, so now what? Go for the need at either wing position and try to convince him this team is worth it. James Johnson is also a definite possibility.
10. Milwaukee Bucks-Ty Lawson-They probably should get some inside aid, but it might not happen, Otherwise, going for a floor general type would be best right here.
11. New Jersey Nets-James Johnson-same need as the Raptors, so they should take the leftover swingman.
12. Charlotte Bobcats-TRADE-This team grew some potential on a hot streak to end the year, so where do they go from here? They mostly need to solidify that post, and you know MJ loves him some Carolina, in the form of Psycho T. Which seems stupid, but his flailing post game could work out short term.
13. Indiana Pacers- -Definite need for a floor general here, especially one that doesnt make people think he'll be permanently paralyzed everytime he goes to the rim.
14. Phoenix Suns-Jonny Flynn-This is the only pick I will ever be sure of because I was declaring it done in January. Under Steve Nash's tutelage, the position will evolve to include the athleticism of Flynn with the IQ of Nash, with a possible analogy to Kung Fu Panda.
Big ups are in order for USA Soccer after they kept the Spanish at bay yesterday and ended the longest unbeaten streak ever by a FIFA national team. But the reason was the hustle. USA will outhustle a team in the Confederations Cup, but next year it is unlikely that the Spanish will let this happen (The Portuguese on the other hand are a lazy people...I KID! But seriously, what HAPPENED in 2002?). I am impressed with Bob Bradley's ability to get the Yanks' minds out of the gutter of defeat to outscore their last two opponents 5-0, especially since Egypt was coming off of a blasting of Italy and giving Brazil a run for its money. Things are definitely looking way better for South Africa in 2010 for the Yanks than for Germany in 2006.
And when I do go to South Africa, I feel very lucky that Joseph Shabalala, the leader of Ladysmith Black Mambazo, promised everyone at the show I went to with my friends Seb and Gabe a place to stay during the tournament. As long as I can get tickets, I'm crashing there and straight chilling to some a cappella stylings while recharging for the next game. Now we need to find out where he actually lives.
Stay Forever Young, People!
Jun 24, 2009
Jun 23, 2009
Recording Liiiiive from Somewhere...
I arrived yesterday at around 4:30 to Ben Gurion International Airport, and let's just say that it took me 20 minutes to get through customs control because my ears did mad poppin' off during the flight from Paris. Also, while going through security in Paris, I somehow was able to function without a translation necessary. And during the flight to Paris, I finally got to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which is definitely a masterpiece, albeit the longest masterpiece. The makeup was just splendiferous. And how can one make a tragedy that long? David Fincher, you never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for that backwards chronology a la Memento, that one episode of Seinfeld, and AP US History inspired by that episode of Seinfeld, but back to my arrival. I got into a packed Sherut and we made our way to Jerusalem on an alternate path taking a route towards Modiin since Route 1 was bumper to bumper for kilometres. One of the more prominent things you see on this route is the construction of the barrier. It will continue to be a point of contention in negotiations especially because Israel may decide to take in settlements like Gush Emunim on its side, and especially because, when coupled with Netanyahu's condition of Palestinian recognition of Israel as a Jewish state, will eliminate the right of return that is seen as essential to many Palestinians who are now refugees after having lived on land they believed they rightfully owned beforehand. So, where do we go from there? The problem is that someone will get disappointed in these negotiations, with no one deserving it any more than the other. However, Israeli disappointment should be kept to a minimum. Remember that Israel has won all those wars and in the case of one Israel's peace agreements with Arab countries, with Egypt, Israel has made concessions. Egypt received the Sinai, receiving popular tourist locales such as Mount Sinai and Sharm al Sheik, as well as having all land surrounding the Suez Canal (however, there doesn't seem to be any risk of Mubarak trying to nationalize like Nasser did in 1956) along with a peace guarantee, which was all Israel really wanted out of the negotiations ater the near disaster that was the Yom Kippur War. The treaty with Jordan was seen as just a normalization as Israel had left the Jordanian Army in shambles after the Six Day War.
But do the Israelis have a duty to help a refugee issue that the creation of their state made an issue? I believe so. As Arabs label the Israeli government as having characterisitics of the Nazi regime, Israel should look back to the time when Jews were made into a refugee situation by the Nazis and had to struggle to establish their own land. Netanyahu has taken the first step to helping them realize this goal, but Palestinian leaders must realize that Israel never was able to achieve all its aspirations as a nation in terms of territory and international standing. Hopefully, a peace treaty with the Palestinians will help Israel not be seen as a pariah within the UN (Security Council membership finally if they join a bloc?) and possibly make it easier to qualify for the World Cup (UEFA can be a bit of a doozy).
Other tidbits:
Most awkward situation of my life: Wearing a t-shirt and shorts in Har Nof, I learned I had to walk through a wedding hall to pick up my phone since the front door had a chain around it. I was unaware that a wedding was going on, so I basically got looked at like I was on a walk of shame while entering and exiting the phone store.
An Act of War: The relative with whom I was staying was unable to help me pick up my phone, so her significant other drove me to Har Nof in her place. He took me to get the most amazing pita ever: the Jerusalem, which has chicken, turkey, shwarma, and lamb. I know, right? But anyways, he also told me about his son's experience as part of the Mifgash (encounter) for Birthright. Reportedly, some "extracurricular" activities were going on between the Israeli soldiers and the American college students and, HAFTA-AH! (SURPRISE!-you just got your second piece of Hebrew vocabulary in ONE paragraph), an Israeli soldier got swine flu. Is this considered an act of biological warfare? I'll go with no, but seriously, scientists, we need to get this shit under control.
I'm signing off for now, but I'll try to get back on here tomorrow. I start class on Thursday, but there is mandatory orientation tomorrow.
Peace and love. I leave you with the Jerusalem sunset and Chords Bridge:
Sorry for that backwards chronology a la Memento, that one episode of Seinfeld, and AP US History inspired by that episode of Seinfeld, but back to my arrival. I got into a packed Sherut and we made our way to Jerusalem on an alternate path taking a route towards Modiin since Route 1 was bumper to bumper for kilometres. One of the more prominent things you see on this route is the construction of the barrier. It will continue to be a point of contention in negotiations especially because Israel may decide to take in settlements like Gush Emunim on its side, and especially because, when coupled with Netanyahu's condition of Palestinian recognition of Israel as a Jewish state, will eliminate the right of return that is seen as essential to many Palestinians who are now refugees after having lived on land they believed they rightfully owned beforehand. So, where do we go from there? The problem is that someone will get disappointed in these negotiations, with no one deserving it any more than the other. However, Israeli disappointment should be kept to a minimum. Remember that Israel has won all those wars and in the case of one Israel's peace agreements with Arab countries, with Egypt, Israel has made concessions. Egypt received the Sinai, receiving popular tourist locales such as Mount Sinai and Sharm al Sheik, as well as having all land surrounding the Suez Canal (however, there doesn't seem to be any risk of Mubarak trying to nationalize like Nasser did in 1956) along with a peace guarantee, which was all Israel really wanted out of the negotiations ater the near disaster that was the Yom Kippur War. The treaty with Jordan was seen as just a normalization as Israel had left the Jordanian Army in shambles after the Six Day War.
But do the Israelis have a duty to help a refugee issue that the creation of their state made an issue? I believe so. As Arabs label the Israeli government as having characterisitics of the Nazi regime, Israel should look back to the time when Jews were made into a refugee situation by the Nazis and had to struggle to establish their own land. Netanyahu has taken the first step to helping them realize this goal, but Palestinian leaders must realize that Israel never was able to achieve all its aspirations as a nation in terms of territory and international standing. Hopefully, a peace treaty with the Palestinians will help Israel not be seen as a pariah within the UN (Security Council membership finally if they join a bloc?) and possibly make it easier to qualify for the World Cup (UEFA can be a bit of a doozy).
Other tidbits:
Most awkward situation of my life: Wearing a t-shirt and shorts in Har Nof, I learned I had to walk through a wedding hall to pick up my phone since the front door had a chain around it. I was unaware that a wedding was going on, so I basically got looked at like I was on a walk of shame while entering and exiting the phone store.
An Act of War: The relative with whom I was staying was unable to help me pick up my phone, so her significant other drove me to Har Nof in her place. He took me to get the most amazing pita ever: the Jerusalem, which has chicken, turkey, shwarma, and lamb. I know, right? But anyways, he also told me about his son's experience as part of the Mifgash (encounter) for Birthright. Reportedly, some "extracurricular" activities were going on between the Israeli soldiers and the American college students and, HAFTA-AH! (SURPRISE!-you just got your second piece of Hebrew vocabulary in ONE paragraph), an Israeli soldier got swine flu. Is this considered an act of biological warfare? I'll go with no, but seriously, scientists, we need to get this shit under control.
I'm signing off for now, but I'll try to get back on here tomorrow. I start class on Thursday, but there is mandatory orientation tomorrow.
Peace and love. I leave you with the Jerusalem sunset and Chords Bridge:
Jun 19, 2009
Introduction to your Summer Months
As some of you may know, I'm leaving for Israel on Sunday, and I will be writing about my experiences there right here on this blog. While I am over there I will be staying in Jerusalem doing Ulpan at Hebrew University along with working as an intern at the Jerusalem Institute for Israel Studies. I have decided to move in this direction of the Israeli-Arab conflict with my major for now, and I hope my work will be beneficial to my professional development along with benefiting the world with better ideas for satisfying all parties in this conflict in the hopes of ending it.
A big issue in this is the United States of America. Support of Israel by Americans is important to the state's survival, and Israel is very aware of this. Yesterday I met with the Israeli Consular General of Philadelphia as well as other consular officials in an effort for them to introduce us to other students studying abroad in Israel, help us prepare for our trip, and to prepare us to be advocates when we return to Philadelphia after our return. This is all very reasonable, and I am sure that I will return with this mindset. But my friend Mariel sent me a disturbing video of Americans who were abroad there this past semester that just disgusted me. Here it is:
Quite a bit of disturbing myth in this, but my favorite is the fat (EDIT: I'm sorry, rotund) girl who first appears at the 1:03 mark and claims to be a Political Science major. I will respond to each of her points right now because she is foolish and stupid, and if you happen to know her, let her know my thoughts:
"I think it's really fucked up that he's going to all the Arab states and not Israel"-Simply put, the relationship between the US and Israel will weaken slightly during Obama's time in office, but in the long-term this will do everyone good. And Obama will make a trip to Israel eventually. Plus, the point of this trip was to revitalize the American relationship with the Muslim world, so staying away from Israel is not that big an issue. He never made a point in Cairo to Netanyahu that was as explicit or status-changing as Reagan asking Gorbachev to tear down the wall, so we'll put your total at one ignorant sentence.
"Oh, he's a Muslim for sure, and who even knows if he was born in the United States? We haven't seen his birth certificate yet"-I like how stupid both clauses of this first sentence are. First off, so what if he is a Muslim? The constitution doesn't say that a Muslim can't be president. And being a Muslim doesn't go hand in hand with anti-Semitism.
Secondly, I know he was born in the United States because he has an American birth certificate that we have seen. Some idiots (read: Fox News correspondents/hosts) have said it is fake. The "Birthers" are insane, but whatever. It's fine that some photocopying error caused the Republican Party to start personally attacking Obama's eligibility before the election, but then again they're turning a blind eye to their own party Bristol Palin abstinence education hypocrisy. If you look at John McCain's birth certificate, it says he was born in Panama. Last I heard, Panama was a sovereign state in Central America that was never part of the United States. Even when McCain was born in 1761 (actually 1936). The exception made for him to run for president is irrational and stupid, but it was never questioned because the Democrats continue to have real issues to use in campaigns instead of personal attacks. Anyways, her belief in this combined with the first part of the sentence causes me to grade this one as 1.5 ignorant, stupid sentences, so she is now up to 2.5.
"Bullshit, he's not from the US, he's like a terrorist."-So when every job you ever apply for in the United States (and probably Israel too) sees this video and decides to reject you, you'll know where to get that first job out of college: BORDER MILITIA!
"Just what is he doing for this country so far? Nothing"-You know, more stuff than the last president who helped get Hamas elected as the majority in the Palestinian parliament and slightly derailed the peace process. And he's actually trying to get the country out of the recession that our last president caused. Democrats as presidents are always cleaning up the economy after Republicans fuck it up (see: Bill Clinton getting us a budget surplus after trickle-down economics failed for the 12th year in a row). And why do Republicans make universal health care sound so bad? RED FEAR so that they can keep their lower-income supporters pissed that they pay such high premiums because the bureaucracy is run by for-profit insurance companies instead of the government. If poor people got real facts about socialism, they might realize it would actually be beneficial for them.
I'm a Political Science major, so like...I KNOW MY SHIT."-The first part of this sentence may be true. The second? We're about to find out it was a complete lie. Unless she dissects her poops to find the stuff she digested and harken back to the buffet meal she put away an hour ago.
Interviewer: "Do you know who Benjamin Netanyahu is?"
Rotund Girl: "No"
Hotter friend: "no"
Rotund Girl: "Isn't he the Israel Prime Minister or something? Who is Benjamin Yahu?"
Exactly. You have no idea what you are talking about. You come to Israel, claim to be a Political Science major, and then can't even pronounce the prime minister's name? You are full of shit, or lard. Or Bissli.
My goal is to dispel blind support and make sure it has meaning. We need to see that both sides have faults that need to be corrected. Idiots like this obese woman need to shut up and read up, and not blindly follow something, because then when someone who is actually informed talks to you, you can't respond. You'll have no chance. Calling Obama a pussy or the n-word will do nothing but make you seem more irrational, but calling him out for specific quotes or policy will do much more. So the goal of my posts for the next 2 months are to kill ignorance and spread knowledge. I'll keep you informed about the news and let you know about my surroundings.
And how about that drunk religious hippy at 2:02? He is by far the funniest part of that video, especially because he smartly doesn't say anything.
A big issue in this is the United States of America. Support of Israel by Americans is important to the state's survival, and Israel is very aware of this. Yesterday I met with the Israeli Consular General of Philadelphia as well as other consular officials in an effort for them to introduce us to other students studying abroad in Israel, help us prepare for our trip, and to prepare us to be advocates when we return to Philadelphia after our return. This is all very reasonable, and I am sure that I will return with this mindset. But my friend Mariel sent me a disturbing video of Americans who were abroad there this past semester that just disgusted me. Here it is:
Quite a bit of disturbing myth in this, but my favorite is the fat (EDIT: I'm sorry, rotund) girl who first appears at the 1:03 mark and claims to be a Political Science major. I will respond to each of her points right now because she is foolish and stupid, and if you happen to know her, let her know my thoughts:
"I think it's really fucked up that he's going to all the Arab states and not Israel"-Simply put, the relationship between the US and Israel will weaken slightly during Obama's time in office, but in the long-term this will do everyone good. And Obama will make a trip to Israel eventually. Plus, the point of this trip was to revitalize the American relationship with the Muslim world, so staying away from Israel is not that big an issue. He never made a point in Cairo to Netanyahu that was as explicit or status-changing as Reagan asking Gorbachev to tear down the wall, so we'll put your total at one ignorant sentence.
"Oh, he's a Muslim for sure, and who even knows if he was born in the United States? We haven't seen his birth certificate yet"-I like how stupid both clauses of this first sentence are. First off, so what if he is a Muslim? The constitution doesn't say that a Muslim can't be president. And being a Muslim doesn't go hand in hand with anti-Semitism.
Secondly, I know he was born in the United States because he has an American birth certificate that we have seen. Some idiots (read: Fox News correspondents/hosts) have said it is fake. The "Birthers" are insane, but whatever. It's fine that some photocopying error caused the Republican Party to start personally attacking Obama's eligibility before the election, but then again they're turning a blind eye to their own party Bristol Palin abstinence education hypocrisy. If you look at John McCain's birth certificate, it says he was born in Panama. Last I heard, Panama was a sovereign state in Central America that was never part of the United States. Even when McCain was born in 1761 (actually 1936). The exception made for him to run for president is irrational and stupid, but it was never questioned because the Democrats continue to have real issues to use in campaigns instead of personal attacks. Anyways, her belief in this combined with the first part of the sentence causes me to grade this one as 1.5 ignorant, stupid sentences, so she is now up to 2.5.
"Bullshit, he's not from the US, he's like a terrorist."-So when every job you ever apply for in the United States (and probably Israel too) sees this video and decides to reject you, you'll know where to get that first job out of college: BORDER MILITIA!
"Just what is he doing for this country so far? Nothing"-You know, more stuff than the last president who helped get Hamas elected as the majority in the Palestinian parliament and slightly derailed the peace process. And he's actually trying to get the country out of the recession that our last president caused. Democrats as presidents are always cleaning up the economy after Republicans fuck it up (see: Bill Clinton getting us a budget surplus after trickle-down economics failed for the 12th year in a row). And why do Republicans make universal health care sound so bad? RED FEAR so that they can keep their lower-income supporters pissed that they pay such high premiums because the bureaucracy is run by for-profit insurance companies instead of the government. If poor people got real facts about socialism, they might realize it would actually be beneficial for them.
I'm a Political Science major, so like...I KNOW MY SHIT."-The first part of this sentence may be true. The second? We're about to find out it was a complete lie. Unless she dissects her poops to find the stuff she digested and harken back to the buffet meal she put away an hour ago.
Interviewer: "Do you know who Benjamin Netanyahu is?"
Rotund Girl: "No"
Hotter friend: "no"
Rotund Girl: "Isn't he the Israel Prime Minister or something? Who is Benjamin Yahu?"
Exactly. You have no idea what you are talking about. You come to Israel, claim to be a Political Science major, and then can't even pronounce the prime minister's name? You are full of shit, or lard. Or Bissli.
My goal is to dispel blind support and make sure it has meaning. We need to see that both sides have faults that need to be corrected. Idiots like this obese woman need to shut up and read up, and not blindly follow something, because then when someone who is actually informed talks to you, you can't respond. You'll have no chance. Calling Obama a pussy or the n-word will do nothing but make you seem more irrational, but calling him out for specific quotes or policy will do much more. So the goal of my posts for the next 2 months are to kill ignorance and spread knowledge. I'll keep you informed about the news and let you know about my surroundings.
And how about that drunk religious hippy at 2:02? He is by far the funniest part of that video, especially because he smartly doesn't say anything.
Mar 2, 2009
Manual Buzzer On Location
Over the coming weeks, I will be traveling with the Syracuse men's—and women's (!)—basketball teams to the Big East Tournaments in Hartford and New York City, and then to the first two weekends of the NCAA Tournament! [Knock on wood] Needless to say, shenanigans and many drinks are imminent. I'm going to bring the camera along and hopefully I'll come back with a couple of photo essays documenting what it's like to travel with a college basketball band, what Syracuse fans are like outside their natural habitat, and whether or not Jonny Flynn can teabag-dunk over Hasheem Thabeet, per Pappy's request.
If you're going to be where the team is, or know where any Syracuse hot spots are in the area, let us know so we can share some drinks and good times with fellow Syracuse comrades. I'll check in after the Rutgers game on Tuesday—senior night—and in the meantime I'll be munching on some Syracuse Athletics cereal, or at least some popcorn...
If you're going to be where the team is, or know where any Syracuse hot spots are in the area, let us know so we can share some drinks and good times with fellow Syracuse comrades. I'll check in after the Rutgers game on Tuesday—senior night—and in the meantime I'll be munching on some Syracuse Athletics cereal, or at least some popcorn...
Jan 12, 2009
A Weekly Standard Coming Soon
What a season it's been for the Orange, eh? Hell, Jonny Flynn even dunked on someone! Look at this:
After so many clankers, finally! I'm so happy for you, Jonny. Now, just dunk on Thabeet and Bernie Fine could be your personal Sugarfoot.
Starting this Sunday, Pappy will return from Pappy's hiatus (Rickey told me to!) with a weekly column on college basketball with a 'Cuse focus, but also a national focus, and a little bit of a Philadelphia focus, but not so much a Penn focus, because I don't want to make fun of stupid people (read: Glen Miller) too much.
After so many clankers, finally! I'm so happy for you, Jonny. Now, just dunk on Thabeet and Bernie Fine could be your personal Sugarfoot.
Starting this Sunday, Pappy will return from Pappy's hiatus (Rickey told me to!) with a weekly column on college basketball with a 'Cuse focus, but also a national focus, and a little bit of a Philadelphia focus, but not so much a Penn focus, because I don't want to make fun of stupid people (read: Glen Miller) too much.
Dec 10, 2008
Girardi Party Playoff Party
I feel like I'm ready to talk college football playoffs. I've been holding out on this for a while, but a few things have happened to make me REALLY SUPER PISSED over the last few weeks...
Alright. I'm now going to lay out the rules for GIRARDI PARTY PLAYOFF PARTY. This is not anything earth-shattering, but I wanted to get my proposal out there before that Muslim terrorist we just elected president declares jihad on the BCS. Bear in mind, neither this nor any other playoff will happen under the current BCS contract, because according to many sources, language preventing a playoff is actually written into the BCS's contract with ESPN.
First Round - December 24/26
1. Oklahoma vs. 8. Utah at the Rose Bowl
2. Florida vs. 7. Virginia Tech at the Fiesta Bowl
3. USC vs. 6. Cincinnati at the Sugar Bowl
4. Texas vs. 5. Penn State at the Orange Bowl
We can project winners for these games pretty easily, except perhaps for the 4/5 game, and we'd be left with the Final Four on New Year's Day—that's a tradition I could get used to.
"Final Four" - January 1
1. Oklahoma vs. 4. Texas, at Oklahoma
2. Florida vs. 3. USC, at Florida
And finally, assuming higher seeds prevail...
Title Game - January 8
1. Oklahoma vs. 2. Florida, at the Orange Bowl
Now, this year, if all held to form, we'd have the same matchup that we do in the BCS Title Game. All questions, however, would be answered. This works because the Bowls still get to host their big games and make their money. The conferences are guaranteed their money. The fans get to plan their trips to Bowl games, watch on TV, or be rewarded with an extra home game. Everyone gets to see what they do with the very successful NCAA Basketball Tournament: one unquestioned champion, tons of exciting games, and lots of sponsorship exposure.
Look: A potential Oklahoma/Texas rematch on New Year's Day. JoePa gets his crack at a national championship, after all, as does Utah. You have the potential for a "Cinderella" if VaTech or Cincy could catch someone napping. ESPN gets a week between each round to build up anticipation and hype for the games. The season ends on the same day that it does with the current arrangement and the Bowls don't start any earlier.
People, however, like my drunk uncle, are still arguing against a playoff. They have dozens of excuses for why it's a bad idea and why the Bowls are the best system, etc. Let's debunk some of these arguments, right now, and put in a few more caveats while we're at it.
It would ruin the tradition of the Bowls
With this arrangement, the big Bowl games still get to host huge matchups—granted, not on New Year's Day—and make tons of money. Every four years, as happens now, each Bowl will also get to host the Title Game. And I'm sorry, but I can't even think of a viable argument against the Final Four teams being rewarded with an extra home game; these teams will almost always be the 1 and 2 seeds, and they have extremely difficult games. Giving them home-field advantage sufficiently rewards them for a great regular season.
And in terms of the other Bowls, go ahead, play 'em! They make money, and there would still be some lucrative matchups and big names out there to play for pride. I don't think that I would bemoan the loss of the grand tradition of the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, but for those people who care, the sponsors who pony out the dough, and the teams who still want to travel and end their season on a high note, nobody would be stopping them.
The season is too long / The kids are students and have finals
First: no, they are not students. Most student-athletes, even at major NCAA powers, are students first and foremost, yes. But not Division 1A football players, and especially not at places like Oklahoma, Texas, Penn State, USC, and Florida. The vast majority of those kids are there to play football. And frankly, I don't care too much that they get extra help and get pushed through the system—they make so much money for these places that any extra attention they get is them getting paid back by their university.
Beside that, GPPP would start on Christmas Eve, long after finals are over. Even at an awful place like Michigan where finals go until the 23rd, alternate arrangements could be made, like you always see with NCAA hoops players taking exams at their hotels. So please, anyone who is standing on their soapbox rattling off reasons that this playoff is bad for academia, stop it. The BCS—and especially the addition of the fifth Title Game—is a blatant attempt to make as much money as possible. That's it. (Imagine how much money the BCS could make selling TV and sponsorship rights to its playoff...)
The regular season wouldn't mean as much
This is the argument I hear the most. I can see where people are coming from, too. In March Madness, you have 10 to 12 loss teams that are "on the bubble," teams getting in at-large who went .500 in-conference, and teams who can completely mail in their conference tournaments and still be confident in getting a bid.
That, however, would not be the case in a playoff with only eight teams—with only two at-large bids in a good year! Look at the field this year. How many two-loss teams do you see? That's right: none. A second loss would knock you completely out of the playoffs. While we're at it, look at the deserving one-loss and undefeated teams that were left out! Texas Tech suffered one late-season loss and was eliminated. The same goes for Alabama, who would be the team with the biggest beef this year. And then you have undefeated Boise State, who has proven its post-season mettle, still not getting in.
Also bear in mind that conference winners get automatic bids, and then you're REALLY looking at an extremely important regular season. One bad loss in conference could be all that's needed to knock you out of an autobid, leaving you praying for a scarce at-large bid or sending you to the Papajohns.com Bowl. Additionally, even with an playoff bid "locked up," you are still playing for seeding, as you want to be the team hosting that Final Four game, not going on the road!
(A side note about conference champions: I hate the conference championship games, but I understand that they're not going anywhere because of the money involved. That said, "divisions" are the stupidest idea in the history of mankind. The whole OU/Texas controversy this year could have been avoided if the conferences simply didn't have divisions, and the two highest-rated teams went to the conference title game every year, period. Oh, boo hoo, Kansas and Missouri; Oklahoma and Texas are always the best two teams? Too bad. Build a better program. We could have had a de facto playoff this year, with the Big XII and SEC winners being the "Final Four," but that was ruined by the Big XII intentionally loading its South division so that the crappy North teams have a chance, too.)
Teams will still get left out
This one really grinds my geahs. OF COURSE teams are still going to get left out. Unless you orchestrate a season-long playoff of all the Division 1 teams, somebody's not going to be invited to the party. You want the playoff to be exclusive and difficult to get into so that the regular season will still matter, remember? Think about the teams who would have the best arguments that they got screwed this year if there were a playoff. Texas Tech? Yes... but they got thumped by Oklahoma and barely squeaked by Baylor, and didn't win their conference. Sorry. Alabama? Perhaps, but when you compare Texas with Tech and 'Bama, Texas has the more impressive résumé; its wins hold up better now. Boise State? Yes, they have a legitimate complaint. They, however, play in a dog of a conference and would have been there if not getting shown up by Utah, who plays in a better conference and played a much tougher schedule as a result. Too bad.
Basically, you have to win your BCS conference, or be one of the one or two best teams outside of that to get in. Teams will get left out, but those left-out teams have much weaker arguments that they belong there than the teams who actually got in. Honestly, what would you be more upset about: the fact that questionable Alabama, Boise, and Tech teams didn't get a chance in the playoffs? Or that one-loss Texas, who beat one of the Title Game competitors head to head, doesn't get a chance to play for a national championship? If teams are going to be left out regardless, best to be more inclusive rather than less.
Note: I think that the weakest part of my proposal is the fact that the BCS Bowl games have to move to an earlier date, but it's a necessary evil to make sure that all four Bowls get an equal shot every year. One way to change this would be to make the 1 and 2 seeds play their home games in the first round instead, with the 3 and 4 seed first round games, the final four, and the title game all rotating amongst the BCS bowls to make them happy. I just figured that my way was a bit more egalitarian.
- Arguing last night alongside my cousin against my drunken Notre Dame-fan uncle, who, in addition to stating that there should never be a playoff, claimed that Notre Dame shouldn't even go to a bowl game "because they'll just be continuing their same bad practice habits."
- Just thinking about the Bowl games now... none of them matters except the Title game. At all. At this point, I'd rather see a return to the traditional Bowl alignments than the BCS! That way, you'd have one-loss Oklahoma, USC, Penn State, and Florida all playing for a share of the national championship, and all their respective oppontents trying their best to ruin their seasons! Isn't that more interesting than only one game anyone really cares about? Sure, I'll still watch the Rose Bowl, but knowing that it's not going to weigh into the national title discussion at all takes some excitement out of it... OK, a LOT of excitement.
- Arguing with "el Tomas Verde" on 4th and Fail about his stupid playoff proposal—simply taking the top 8 BCS teams—which would never, ever, ever, ever, ever happen.
- Reading Pat Forde's pathetic, self-righteous whining that Texas got screwed. You know what, Texas? Stop it. Texas apologists? Stop it. I'm not saying the system is right—far from it—but everyone who has watched any college football during the BCS era knows that timing is everything. If Oklahoma had gotten left out, you'd never hear the end of it from Sooner fans, either. Three Big XII South teams finished with only one loss. Yes, Texas beat Oklahoma head-to-head. But it was early enough in the season that voters had essentially forgotten about it when OU knocked off Texas Tech. If you're talking head-to-head matchups, why should Texas have gone to the Big XII title game over Oklahoma, when Texas was beaten by Texas Tech? Clearly, the only solution is for Mike Leach, Mack Brown, and Bob Stoops to play a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.
Alright. I'm now going to lay out the rules for GIRARDI PARTY PLAYOFF PARTY. This is not anything earth-shattering, but I wanted to get my proposal out there before that Muslim terrorist we just elected president declares jihad on the BCS. Bear in mind, neither this nor any other playoff will happen under the current BCS contract, because according to many sources, language preventing a playoff is actually written into the BCS's contract with ESPN.
Girardi Party Playoff Party
- Following the regular season and conference championship games (more on those in a minute), a committee would select eight teams to move on to college football's Division IA playoff. These selections would mostly be a formality, and would happen a lot like the BCS Selection Show now: basically, a glorified revealing of the final poll of the season.
- The only way a playoff would ever be accepted by the major conferences and college presidents would be if everyone got their piece of the pie, like the BCS now. So, the winners of the six BCS conferences (ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big XII, Pac-10, SEC) would get automatic berths into the playoffs. The same rules would also be in effect for non-BCS teams and Notre Dame that exist now—namely, that ND gets in automatically if it's in the top 12, and any non-BCS-conference team gets in automatically if it's in the top 8.
- If any spots remain after the auto-bids are taken care of, up to two at-large teams could be selected for the playoffs, as well.
- In order to keep the "tradition" alive, the four BCS sites would host the first round games of the playoffs, and much like the case today, the title game would rotate between the four sites.
- Second-round matchups (i.e., the "Final Four") would be home games for the higher-seeded remaining teams.
- In terms of seeding, there would be no preference for conference champions—that is, all eight teams are seeded by a committee in the order they believe to be 1 through 8. No intra-conference matchups in the first round.
First Round - December 24/26
1. Oklahoma vs. 8. Utah at the Rose Bowl
2. Florida vs. 7. Virginia Tech at the Fiesta Bowl
3. USC vs. 6. Cincinnati at the Sugar Bowl
4. Texas vs. 5. Penn State at the Orange Bowl
We can project winners for these games pretty easily, except perhaps for the 4/5 game, and we'd be left with the Final Four on New Year's Day—that's a tradition I could get used to.
"Final Four" - January 1
1. Oklahoma vs. 4. Texas, at Oklahoma
2. Florida vs. 3. USC, at Florida
And finally, assuming higher seeds prevail...
Title Game - January 8
1. Oklahoma vs. 2. Florida, at the Orange Bowl
Now, this year, if all held to form, we'd have the same matchup that we do in the BCS Title Game. All questions, however, would be answered. This works because the Bowls still get to host their big games and make their money. The conferences are guaranteed their money. The fans get to plan their trips to Bowl games, watch on TV, or be rewarded with an extra home game. Everyone gets to see what they do with the very successful NCAA Basketball Tournament: one unquestioned champion, tons of exciting games, and lots of sponsorship exposure.
Look: A potential Oklahoma/Texas rematch on New Year's Day. JoePa gets his crack at a national championship, after all, as does Utah. You have the potential for a "Cinderella" if VaTech or Cincy could catch someone napping. ESPN gets a week between each round to build up anticipation and hype for the games. The season ends on the same day that it does with the current arrangement and the Bowls don't start any earlier.
People, however, like my drunk uncle, are still arguing against a playoff. They have dozens of excuses for why it's a bad idea and why the Bowls are the best system, etc. Let's debunk some of these arguments, right now, and put in a few more caveats while we're at it.
It would ruin the tradition of the Bowls
With this arrangement, the big Bowl games still get to host huge matchups—granted, not on New Year's Day—and make tons of money. Every four years, as happens now, each Bowl will also get to host the Title Game. And I'm sorry, but I can't even think of a viable argument against the Final Four teams being rewarded with an extra home game; these teams will almost always be the 1 and 2 seeds, and they have extremely difficult games. Giving them home-field advantage sufficiently rewards them for a great regular season.
And in terms of the other Bowls, go ahead, play 'em! They make money, and there would still be some lucrative matchups and big names out there to play for pride. I don't think that I would bemoan the loss of the grand tradition of the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, but for those people who care, the sponsors who pony out the dough, and the teams who still want to travel and end their season on a high note, nobody would be stopping them.
The season is too long / The kids are students and have finals
First: no, they are not students. Most student-athletes, even at major NCAA powers, are students first and foremost, yes. But not Division 1A football players, and especially not at places like Oklahoma, Texas, Penn State, USC, and Florida. The vast majority of those kids are there to play football. And frankly, I don't care too much that they get extra help and get pushed through the system—they make so much money for these places that any extra attention they get is them getting paid back by their university.
Beside that, GPPP would start on Christmas Eve, long after finals are over. Even at an awful place like Michigan where finals go until the 23rd, alternate arrangements could be made, like you always see with NCAA hoops players taking exams at their hotels. So please, anyone who is standing on their soapbox rattling off reasons that this playoff is bad for academia, stop it. The BCS—and especially the addition of the fifth Title Game—is a blatant attempt to make as much money as possible. That's it. (Imagine how much money the BCS could make selling TV and sponsorship rights to its playoff...)
The regular season wouldn't mean as much
This is the argument I hear the most. I can see where people are coming from, too. In March Madness, you have 10 to 12 loss teams that are "on the bubble," teams getting in at-large who went .500 in-conference, and teams who can completely mail in their conference tournaments and still be confident in getting a bid.
That, however, would not be the case in a playoff with only eight teams—with only two at-large bids in a good year! Look at the field this year. How many two-loss teams do you see? That's right: none. A second loss would knock you completely out of the playoffs. While we're at it, look at the deserving one-loss and undefeated teams that were left out! Texas Tech suffered one late-season loss and was eliminated. The same goes for Alabama, who would be the team with the biggest beef this year. And then you have undefeated Boise State, who has proven its post-season mettle, still not getting in.
Also bear in mind that conference winners get automatic bids, and then you're REALLY looking at an extremely important regular season. One bad loss in conference could be all that's needed to knock you out of an autobid, leaving you praying for a scarce at-large bid or sending you to the Papajohns.com Bowl. Additionally, even with an playoff bid "locked up," you are still playing for seeding, as you want to be the team hosting that Final Four game, not going on the road!
(A side note about conference champions: I hate the conference championship games, but I understand that they're not going anywhere because of the money involved. That said, "divisions" are the stupidest idea in the history of mankind. The whole OU/Texas controversy this year could have been avoided if the conferences simply didn't have divisions, and the two highest-rated teams went to the conference title game every year, period. Oh, boo hoo, Kansas and Missouri; Oklahoma and Texas are always the best two teams? Too bad. Build a better program. We could have had a de facto playoff this year, with the Big XII and SEC winners being the "Final Four," but that was ruined by the Big XII intentionally loading its South division so that the crappy North teams have a chance, too.)
Teams will still get left out
This one really grinds my geahs. OF COURSE teams are still going to get left out. Unless you orchestrate a season-long playoff of all the Division 1 teams, somebody's not going to be invited to the party. You want the playoff to be exclusive and difficult to get into so that the regular season will still matter, remember? Think about the teams who would have the best arguments that they got screwed this year if there were a playoff. Texas Tech? Yes... but they got thumped by Oklahoma and barely squeaked by Baylor, and didn't win their conference. Sorry. Alabama? Perhaps, but when you compare Texas with Tech and 'Bama, Texas has the more impressive résumé; its wins hold up better now. Boise State? Yes, they have a legitimate complaint. They, however, play in a dog of a conference and would have been there if not getting shown up by Utah, who plays in a better conference and played a much tougher schedule as a result. Too bad.
Basically, you have to win your BCS conference, or be one of the one or two best teams outside of that to get in. Teams will get left out, but those left-out teams have much weaker arguments that they belong there than the teams who actually got in. Honestly, what would you be more upset about: the fact that questionable Alabama, Boise, and Tech teams didn't get a chance in the playoffs? Or that one-loss Texas, who beat one of the Title Game competitors head to head, doesn't get a chance to play for a national championship? If teams are going to be left out regardless, best to be more inclusive rather than less.
Note: I think that the weakest part of my proposal is the fact that the BCS Bowl games have to move to an earlier date, but it's a necessary evil to make sure that all four Bowls get an equal shot every year. One way to change this would be to make the 1 and 2 seeds play their home games in the first round instead, with the 3 and 4 seed first round games, the final four, and the title game all rotating amongst the BCS bowls to make them happy. I just figured that my way was a bit more egalitarian.
Nov 19, 2008
Inaccurate Sports Scenes Nobody Will Ever Care About: Rocko's Modern Life
Remember the old Rocko's Modern Life where Rocko and Mr. Bighead were facing off in the finals of their bowling league? Mr. Bighead had won some ridiculous number of years in a row, and Rocko had just started bowling, so, being the surly guy that he was, it bothered Mr. Bighead that Rocko got to the finals and was hanging with him in the final game.
Anyway, Rocko and Mr. Bighead got down to the tenth frame, with Mr. Bighead bowling last. When he stepped up to shoot, the announcers not
ed that he needed only one pin to win the league. (You mean your bowling league doesn't have announcers?) If you've seen the episode, you know that Mr. Bighead, in an act of sheer defiance, kicks the ball down the gutter intentionally for his first shot, and ends up completely destroying every inch of the bowling alley—except for the pins—with his second shot. In the last scene of the episode, Rocko wins the league trophy—in quite humble and gracious fashion, I might add. Very funny stuff, but that's not the issue here.
My question is: How can Mr. Bighead have needed only one pin to win the league? If he needed just one pin, that implies that he and Rocko were tied heading into the final frame; if Rocko were ahead, one pin would have, at best, tied him. Assuming they were tied, one pin would win the league, yes, but wouldn't the fact that he rolled a zero on his tenth frame leave them tied? Instead, Rocko immediately won. I would think that the two would have to play another game to determine the league championship.
Or maybe Mr. Bighead's league had some bylaw concerning tiebreakers, à la the Big Ten and the Rose Bowl, where the first tiebreaker is that last year's team can never go a second consecutive year.
Or maybe they did play a tiebreaker game but it was edited out in the interests of time.
I'm not sure. All I do know is that when you need just one point to win, in any sport, you're probably tied. (I'm sure there's some example where this is not true, but I think enough thought's been put into this for one night.) GP, out.
Anyway, Rocko and Mr. Bighead got down to the tenth frame, with Mr. Bighead bowling last. When he stepped up to shoot, the announcers not
ed that he needed only one pin to win the league. (You mean your bowling league doesn't have announcers?) If you've seen the episode, you know that Mr. Bighead, in an act of sheer defiance, kicks the ball down the gutter intentionally for his first shot, and ends up completely destroying every inch of the bowling alley—except for the pins—with his second shot. In the last scene of the episode, Rocko wins the league trophy—in quite humble and gracious fashion, I might add. Very funny stuff, but that's not the issue here.My question is: How can Mr. Bighead have needed only one pin to win the league? If he needed just one pin, that implies that he and Rocko were tied heading into the final frame; if Rocko were ahead, one pin would have, at best, tied him. Assuming they were tied, one pin would win the league, yes, but wouldn't the fact that he rolled a zero on his tenth frame leave them tied? Instead, Rocko immediately won. I would think that the two would have to play another game to determine the league championship.
Or maybe Mr. Bighead's league had some bylaw concerning tiebreakers, à la the Big Ten and the Rose Bowl, where the first tiebreaker is that last year's team can never go a second consecutive year.
Or maybe they did play a tiebreaker game but it was edited out in the interests of time.
I'm not sure. All I do know is that when you need just one point to win, in any sport, you're probably tied. (I'm sure there's some example where this is not true, but I think enough thought's been put into this for one night.) GP, out.
Nov 18, 2008
A few observations from the Richmond game and the parts of the UNC-UK game I could stomach
Syracuse-Richmond
-Arinze looked solid as hell. I don't care who it was against, he didn't even miss a free throw (he took one). His touch looks amazing.
-Devendorf didn't show much ill effect from the ACL, including his own personal 8 point burst near the middle of the 2nd half.
-Andy, however, just never looked comfortable out there and had an ofer from he field.
-I guess Mookie is considered a project? Hopefully he continues to get minutes in blowouts, or he stole someone's ID.
-I felt like Devo dropped acid for those 2 consecutive travels.
-Jonny, why can't you dunk ON people? You always can dunk with space, but when there's someone under you, you hit the back rim. So, Nancy Kerrigan asks:
Must be something really hard in the rim (of the color black?).
-So many instances of the Boeheim face that one could not count them on just the hands, they would need toes and maybe even ears.
-This morning on Anthony Gargano's show on WIP, the kings of sports talk in Philadelphia, they couldn't stop talking about how dumb McNabb was for not knowing there were ties in the NFL, as well as how Jim Boeheim declared he did not know about NFL ties, which led them to call Boeheim dumb too. My question for Mr. Gargano is not a question. It is a statement in bold: JIM BOEHEIM IS A FUCKING COLLEGE BASKETBALL COACH YOU FUCKING RUSTY TROMBONIST. SINCE WHEN DOES HE NEED TO KNOW THE FUCKING NFL RULEBOOK? MAYBE HE DOESN'T EVEN WATCH THE NFL YOU FREQUENT RECIPIENT OF CLEVELAND STEAMERS. I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A NARWHAL. THE HORN OF A NARWHAL YOU SHITBRAIN.
UNC-UK
-I bet His Airness suggested the non-button-down with the pinstripe suit for Psycho T to wear on the bench, except Hansbrough forgot the gold chain around the neck. Tyler should instead listen to another former Carolina player: Rasheed Wallace, who sits on the bench in uniform even if he is hurt.
-Patrick Patterson and Deon Thompson are 2 of the better big men in the country. The difference between the two? The guards on Patrick Patterson's team all play like they had their hands chopped off.
-When Dick Vitale starts verbally masturbating to players on Duke or UNC, it makes me write text messages that read like so:
"I want to punch Dick Vitale in the ovaries, then punch Tyler Hansbrough in the fallopian tube, and then bang EA."
Yeah, I'm fucking serious about this. emancipateusfromdickvitale.com coming soon?
That is all for now. I'll be back on Sunday with some power rankings, where I will take these and update them for this week and hopefully for every week the rest of the season. Until then, watch out for the Joe Biden experience...coming soon!
-Arinze looked solid as hell. I don't care who it was against, he didn't even miss a free throw (he took one). His touch looks amazing.
-Devendorf didn't show much ill effect from the ACL, including his own personal 8 point burst near the middle of the 2nd half.
-Andy, however, just never looked comfortable out there and had an ofer from he field.
-I guess Mookie is considered a project? Hopefully he continues to get minutes in blowouts, or he stole someone's ID.
-I felt like Devo dropped acid for those 2 consecutive travels.
-Jonny, why can't you dunk ON people? You always can dunk with space, but when there's someone under you, you hit the back rim. So, Nancy Kerrigan asks:
Must be something really hard in the rim (of the color black?).
-So many instances of the Boeheim face that one could not count them on just the hands, they would need toes and maybe even ears.
-This morning on Anthony Gargano's show on WIP, the kings of sports talk in Philadelphia, they couldn't stop talking about how dumb McNabb was for not knowing there were ties in the NFL, as well as how Jim Boeheim declared he did not know about NFL ties, which led them to call Boeheim dumb too. My question for Mr. Gargano is not a question. It is a statement in bold: JIM BOEHEIM IS A FUCKING COLLEGE BASKETBALL COACH YOU FUCKING RUSTY TROMBONIST. SINCE WHEN DOES HE NEED TO KNOW THE FUCKING NFL RULEBOOK? MAYBE HE DOESN'T EVEN WATCH THE NFL YOU FREQUENT RECIPIENT OF CLEVELAND STEAMERS. I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A NARWHAL. THE HORN OF A NARWHAL YOU SHITBRAIN.
UNC-UK
-I bet His Airness suggested the non-button-down with the pinstripe suit for Psycho T to wear on the bench, except Hansbrough forgot the gold chain around the neck. Tyler should instead listen to another former Carolina player: Rasheed Wallace, who sits on the bench in uniform even if he is hurt.
-Patrick Patterson and Deon Thompson are 2 of the better big men in the country. The difference between the two? The guards on Patrick Patterson's team all play like they had their hands chopped off.
-When Dick Vitale starts verbally masturbating to players on Duke or UNC, it makes me write text messages that read like so:
"I want to punch Dick Vitale in the ovaries, then punch Tyler Hansbrough in the fallopian tube, and then bang EA."
Yeah, I'm fucking serious about this. emancipateusfromdickvitale.com coming soon?
That is all for now. I'll be back on Sunday with some power rankings, where I will take these and update them for this week and hopefully for every week the rest of the season. Until then, watch out for the Joe Biden experience...coming soon!
Oct 31, 2008
College Basketball is LIFE
And life this past week was watching Barack Obama soundly defeat John McCain in the US Presidential election. Why do I mention this? Because of its similarity to the 1990 NCAA Final, where UNLV absolutely destroyed Duke (unique style/black soundly destroys regular Republican attack/white campaign) and represented an affirmation that there was a more appealing style of basketball that involved watching Bobby Hurley and Christian Laettner get their asses dunked on. Krzyzewski was like McCain at the time, having built up prestige but never making it to the top (but he didn't have a rivalry with his father and grandfather). Tark was taking on the NCAA and its monopolistic practices while chewing on a towel (and his parents were Armenian immigrants).
But now, back to the semi-sloth life I plan to live under an Obama presidency. There is nothing I love more than sitting around on a weekend and watching college basketball from noon until 1AM, but things done changed this year. I hate being obtrusive, but with no cable where I'm currently living (and probably none where I will be next semester), I have to burden someone, whether it be a restaurant or a person who actually has cable, in order to practice this comfort activity.
And fuck it I will NOT stop doing this. Not with the amazing talent and not with the prospects of my Syracuse Orange(men) (FINALLY NOT OVERRATED!) this year. College basketball looks like it will be real good this year. Everyone is talking about UNC this year, but come on, we talk about UNC every year. They didn't lose anyone but Quentin Thomas last year who was a steady replacement for the injured Ty Lawson, who should be healthier, which will make things even easier for Roy Williams. And damn, he is going to start feeling pressure. Connecting the prestige of UNC to the skill and daft recruiting of Roy Williams leads to preseason national championship predictions every year. No Hansbrough for an unspecified amount of time as well as Marcus Ginyard set to miss some time will have its effects, but the Tar Heels still have that Tar Heel talent and Williams' excellent secondary break strategy that Ty Lawson will use to easily destroy teams. Could they get trapped with that Extra Super Tuesday matchup with Kentucky? Yes. But the Heels should still be a 1 seed in the tournament, and here are my other three 1 seeds:
Louisville: Rick Pitino got off to a bad start in his return to the Big East with the Cardinals in 2005-06, the year after the Final Four. But Pitino has made excellence strides with this team, with the late run in 2007 to get into the tournament, and have parlayed that momentum to a near Final Four appearance last year and a very strong team right now. Earl Clark is going to play like a top 5 pick this year. Terrence Williams is tenacious on defense and is a great contributor. Jerry Smith, Edgar Sosa, and Preston Knowles will be improved as all Pitino-coached players do between seasons, and will help Williams keep up the intensity of Pitino's signature pressure defense . The distraction that is Derrick Caracter has left the building. At one time, Caracter was THE center prospect in high school, until Greg Oden destroyed him in an ABCD game, leading to a downfall that included him declaring for the NBA Draft last season...before the NCAA Tournament. The front court will be pretty inexperienced, especially without the amazing passing of David Padgett, who looked like Brian Brohm threading the needle on backdoor passes to the tune of 2 assists per game. Terence Jennings and Samardo Samuels are going to need to step in immediately with no other big men on the roster, and they will need to play consistently, and well, for the Cardinals to have the regular season I'm expecting of them.
Connecticut: I can't stress how much I hate UConn and Georgetown, but when Syracuse (a subject I will return to later) gets eliminated or mistakenly left out of the tournament, you have to cheer for one of these teams. And UConn is the one you can also put your money on. AJ Price may be really old and did commit a misdemeanor when he stole those laptops, but he can still play and was an amazing point guard for this team last year, and probably could have gone farther in the tournament if he hadn't torn his ACL in the 1st round game against San Diego. Hasheem Thabeet will just keep getting better and will join Clark in the top 5 next year, mostly due to being 7'3" and having a gigantic wing span, but also an improved inside game that will make him tough to deal with. And don't forget his relative touch on free throws (69.8% last year) that makes him even more valuable.
The Huskies look exactly like UNC last year, with no seniors on the roster to lose, but they did add some players, although CJ Miles is gone. Kemba Walker and Scotty Haralson will provide depth at guard that will help Jim Calhoun avoid the tragedy (well, satisfying ending for me) to the UConn season last year.
Michigan State: Drew Neitzel was a consistent presence last year, but playing to his style made the Spartans boring. Their lack of true punch led them to be eliminated by Pitt in the 2nd round. Raymar Morgan will be the featured member of this team, with his size and ability to step outside and penchant for great defense. Marquise Gray and Goran Suton further solidify the frontcourt. Kalin Lucas will be a great pacekeeper for this team, and they will destroy the Big Ten with ease. And this.
#2 seeds:
Duke: Like Andre Nickatina does you, I hate Duke with a passion. But Krzyzewski has a nasty squad fielded this year. Nolan Smith will probably take over for Duke's all-time underperformer (well, second to Chris Carrawell) Greg Paulus at the point. Lance Thomas, Kyle Singler, Jon Scheyer and Gerald Henderson (most of all) will be nasty as usual. You know Coach K reloaded with another amazing recruiting class, led by big Miles Plumlee, who will probaly be platooning with Thomas unless Zoubek magically starts to improve his game, meaning that he will be platooning with both Zoubek and Thomas.
UCLA: Ben Howland adores every round of the tournament except for ones after the Round of 16. He took the Bruins to the Final Four two of the past three years, and to the Elite Eight last year, each time being eliminated by a championship game participant. Ben may have trouble getting this team to the Sweet 16 this year, especially since the 2 most talented players from last year's team were lottery picks (Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook) and the most powerful player (Luc Richard Mbah a Moute: he is a fucking prince!) was picked by the Bucks in the 2nd round. Jrue Holiday and Malcolm Lee will lead a solid freshman class, and Darren Collison and Josh Shipp are back. The post will not be as strong this year, as Alfred Aboya is not the offensive player (in scoring or in passing) that Love was. And Nikola Dragovic assaulted his ex-girlfriend!
Pittsburgh: I find it funny when a team falls victim to Jeremy McNeil. And the year that Syracuse won the national title, Pitt, at the Dome and by default about to become the #1 team in the country with a win (Arizona lost earlier that week to Stanford), Jeremy McNeil pulled the rug out from under them by hitting both ends of a one-and-one (Carmelo said after the game: "He never could do it in practice, and then we always gotta run.") and then tipping in a miss to put Syracuse up by 2 with less than a second left. Probably the most ridiculous celebration that side of the Hakim throwing the ball in the air against Notre Dame with way too much time on the clock later that year. Now, things are different. Still, Syracuse has been ranked #1, and Pitt, still never. Sam Young and Levance "Broken Legs" Fields are back, along with local hero DeJuan Blair. Jamie Dixon has by far his best recruiting class ever coming in led by Nasir Robinson.
Oklahoma: If I were to play against Blake Griffin, I'd shit myself too. Jeff Capel also has some real solid guards in Austin Johnson and and Kyle Crocker, whose mom made brownies for the team before their first game. Willie Warren is a welcome addition to the back court depth. But fuck, Blake Griffin is a fucking force. Sorry for cussin'.
#3 Seeds
Texas: I wasn't a firm believer in DJ Augustin last year, and now that he is with the Bobcats, I still am not. Damion James started playing really well, finally getting the chance to be out of the shadow cast by Kevin Durant (not doing so well himself in Oklahoma City). Dexter Pittman and Connor Atchley are solid up front. AJ Abrams is still there, and Justin Mason may be able to put together his freshman year (great shooting numbers and mediocre assist and turnover numbers) with last year (mediocre shooting and improved assist and turnover numbers). From among Harrison Smith, freshman Varez Ward, and Dogus Balbay, someone must improve or their back court will be weak like Syracuse last year (more on that later).
Kentucky: Billy Gillespie is about to work a miracle, and might get himself some Ashley Judd poon as payment. He did have a tough year last year but managed to beat Tennessee and get a tournament bid. This year? I bet Patrick Patterson is way healthier and he is definitely a dark horse first-team All-American pick, but I think he will have that solid year. Jodie Meeks in the back court and Perry Stevenson in the front court need to step up in order that Kentucky can play up to their potential.
Gonzaga: By far my favorite mid-major for being the birthplace of the Morristache. Austin Daye is what Pat Calathes could never be: a 6'10" guard who can dominate games. Josh Heytvelt is back, and no word whether he will get any magic mushrooms references from announcers is the Zags go far in the Dance. Jeremy Pargo, Matt Bouldin, and Micah Downs will handle well, and Mark Few also brought in a good class of freshmen that will make this team even more dangerous with their depth.
Purdue: A team with a nasty streak is the best way to classify the Boilermakers under Matt Painter. Gene Keady taught him how to play Purdue basketball, and his teams sure play it better than any of Keady's ever did. The core of E'Twaun Moore, Robbie Hummel, Keaton Grant, and Chris Kramer. Scott Martin would be on this list, but he transferred to Notre Dame for undisclosed reasons. But Purdue still returns 7 players who averaged more than 15 minutes per game and I think they will improve on their second round appearance in the tournament, as long as Keady didn't teach Painter how to choke.
#4 Seeds
Memphis: A lot was lost last year, including what seemed like a sure national title, but also the amazing Derrick Rose, who returned to Chicago to suit up for the Bulls, and the maniacal Joey Dorsey, who might actually make me shit my pants more than Blake Griffin if I were to guard him. Calipari brought in Tyreke Evans and Wesley Witherspoon to help make up for the loss, and Antonio Anderson, Robert Dozier, Shawn Taggart, Robert Dozier, Willie Kemp, and Andre Allen will be more than ready to increase their output to fill the void. And Pierre Henderson-Niles? Well, PETA had some choice words that may have led him to devour a few PETA members.
Davidson: I'll be the first to say that this ranking may end up being too high. Stephen Curry may be the best player in the country this year. I think he may have been the best last year, but Tyler Hansbrough just makes all hose sportswriters ejaculate with all his grit and being white. Stephen will have a but of a tougher year this year, especially without the dude feeding him the ball as Jason Richards, last year's national assists leader, graduated. The bulk of last year's team is gone, so Andrew Lovedale, Stephen Rossi and Zach from Saved by the Bell (Amirite? AMIRITE?!?!?) will have to step up, as well as the coach's son, Brendan.
Arizona State: Geez, it's been a while. Herb Sendek built up a team at NC State, and now one from Tempe is about to rise. James Harden could end up being a first-team All-American if the Sun Devils live up to expectations this year. Jeff Pendergraph wants to earn his own honors in his senior year, and Harden's fellow sophomore Ty Abbott will also be key to a good season.
Florida: Billy Donovan got a tough break when Jai Lucas asked to transfer because he wanted time at point guard, a position filled easily by Nick Calathes, who was solid last year. Billy did lock out his team last year, and if that doesn't make them angry about playing in the fucking NIT, I don't know what will. Eloy Vargas and Kenneth Kadji lead a group of 6 freshmen to add to 5 sophomores and only one junior and one senior. Give Billy a year to get back to the Final Four, because this group can definitely do it.
Meaningless Preseason Award Tour with Mohammed my man, going to each and every place with a mic in my hand:
Player of the Year: Hansbrough will win it, but I think Blake Griffin may just do so much at Oklahoma and Hansbrough may be out indefinitely for so long that Griffin will take it.
Coach of the Year: Vast improvement is the hallmark of this one, so I'm giving it to Billy Donovan, who may next make his players go kill an alligator to eat if they end up in the NIT again this year.
Freshman of the Year: USC lost a lot last year. OJ Mayo is with the Grizz in the League, and Davon Jefferson is with the Heat...the Maccabi Haifa Heat. USC is left with a team devoid of a scorer until Master P shows up and offers Demar DeRozan as long as his son, Lil Romeo, also gets a spot on the team. Now, no other team showed interest in Miller, who might not even be good enough to play in the Ivy League. Actually, I'm 100% sure Lil Romeo would not be able to compete in the Ivy League. But Demar DeRozan should be dominant in the PAC-10, and will probably be way more efficient than OJ ever was.
First Team All-Americans:
C: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
F: Tyler Hansbrough, UNC
F: Patrick Patterson, Kentucky
G: Stephen Curry, Davidson
G: Ty Lawson, UNC
Second Team All-Americans:
C: Hasheem Thabeet, UConn
F: Earl Clark, Louisville
F: Sam Young, Pittsburgh
G: Gerald Henderson, Duke
G: James Harden, Arizona State
Freshman All-Americans:
C: BJ Mullens, Ohio State
F: Al-Farouqq Aminu, Wake Forest
F: Demar DeRozan, USC
G: Scotty Hopson, Tennessee
G: Jrue Holiday, UCLA
Teams for which I have a rooting interest, analyzed:
Syracuse: I fucking love Jonny Flynn. I could give a shit if Donte Greene is getting time in the League (he barely is, but probably will when the Kings miss the playoffs and stop caring), because Jonny Flynn is going to do big things at Syracuse. 5.3 assists last year? With Rautins and Devendorf back, that number will rise. He shot 46% (I am pissed about that, he should have been shooting more with his much more accurate jumper than Donte was) and 35% from 3. Jonny is the barometer on this team, and he will lead them however far they go.
Arinze is fucking solid inside, and hopefully his free-throw touch will be better. And if Rick Jackson can actually make shots in the post (the moves were great, the touch was not)? The inside will be solid. Maybe even Sean Williams will be solid too. Paul Harris will continue to be a bull on the boards and might not be as stupid as he was last year, which includes cooling it with the 3's. Devo and Rautins will make it way easier for everyone if they are on mark, which is highly likely. Mookie Jones and Kris Joseph will be solid additions to the team to replace Donte. I am very excited. Bring on Florida, bring on Memphis, bring on the Big East, and let's see what this team can do.
Penn: That transition year was weird last year. Ibby Jaaber seemed fine without a transition year. So did Mark Zoller. Now, Glen Miller builds. WTF???!?!?!?!? Kevin Egee (cheated on an astronomy exam, off of yours truly) and Brennan Votel are the leaders, although their experience doesn't seem that useful. Darren Smith returns from a year spent being injured. Will he be better? Will this dude from the Bahamas be any good? The sophomores should be ready, as Tyler Bernadini took home the Big 5 Freshman of the Year award last year, and Harrison Gaines looks poised to be the floor general of this offense. There was much turmoil in the starting lineup last year, so if Miller can settle on a 5, the Quakers will be solid. Just wait until after the 1st game (lol UNC).
In one week, Extra Super Tuesday begins, and by golly, I will have a change of pants available. Or a catheter installed.
But now, back to the semi-sloth life I plan to live under an Obama presidency. There is nothing I love more than sitting around on a weekend and watching college basketball from noon until 1AM, but things done changed this year. I hate being obtrusive, but with no cable where I'm currently living (and probably none where I will be next semester), I have to burden someone, whether it be a restaurant or a person who actually has cable, in order to practice this comfort activity.
And fuck it I will NOT stop doing this. Not with the amazing talent and not with the prospects of my Syracuse Orange(men) (FINALLY NOT OVERRATED!) this year. College basketball looks like it will be real good this year. Everyone is talking about UNC this year, but come on, we talk about UNC every year. They didn't lose anyone but Quentin Thomas last year who was a steady replacement for the injured Ty Lawson, who should be healthier, which will make things even easier for Roy Williams. And damn, he is going to start feeling pressure. Connecting the prestige of UNC to the skill and daft recruiting of Roy Williams leads to preseason national championship predictions every year. No Hansbrough for an unspecified amount of time as well as Marcus Ginyard set to miss some time will have its effects, but the Tar Heels still have that Tar Heel talent and Williams' excellent secondary break strategy that Ty Lawson will use to easily destroy teams. Could they get trapped with that Extra Super Tuesday matchup with Kentucky? Yes. But the Heels should still be a 1 seed in the tournament, and here are my other three 1 seeds:
Louisville: Rick Pitino got off to a bad start in his return to the Big East with the Cardinals in 2005-06, the year after the Final Four. But Pitino has made excellence strides with this team, with the late run in 2007 to get into the tournament, and have parlayed that momentum to a near Final Four appearance last year and a very strong team right now. Earl Clark is going to play like a top 5 pick this year. Terrence Williams is tenacious on defense and is a great contributor. Jerry Smith, Edgar Sosa, and Preston Knowles will be improved as all Pitino-coached players do between seasons, and will help Williams keep up the intensity of Pitino's signature pressure defense . The distraction that is Derrick Caracter has left the building. At one time, Caracter was THE center prospect in high school, until Greg Oden destroyed him in an ABCD game, leading to a downfall that included him declaring for the NBA Draft last season...before the NCAA Tournament. The front court will be pretty inexperienced, especially without the amazing passing of David Padgett, who looked like Brian Brohm threading the needle on backdoor passes to the tune of 2 assists per game. Terence Jennings and Samardo Samuels are going to need to step in immediately with no other big men on the roster, and they will need to play consistently, and well, for the Cardinals to have the regular season I'm expecting of them.
Connecticut: I can't stress how much I hate UConn and Georgetown, but when Syracuse (a subject I will return to later) gets eliminated or mistakenly left out of the tournament, you have to cheer for one of these teams. And UConn is the one you can also put your money on. AJ Price may be really old and did commit a misdemeanor when he stole those laptops, but he can still play and was an amazing point guard for this team last year, and probably could have gone farther in the tournament if he hadn't torn his ACL in the 1st round game against San Diego. Hasheem Thabeet will just keep getting better and will join Clark in the top 5 next year, mostly due to being 7'3" and having a gigantic wing span, but also an improved inside game that will make him tough to deal with. And don't forget his relative touch on free throws (69.8% last year) that makes him even more valuable.
The Huskies look exactly like UNC last year, with no seniors on the roster to lose, but they did add some players, although CJ Miles is gone. Kemba Walker and Scotty Haralson will provide depth at guard that will help Jim Calhoun avoid the tragedy (well, satisfying ending for me) to the UConn season last year.
Michigan State: Drew Neitzel was a consistent presence last year, but playing to his style made the Spartans boring. Their lack of true punch led them to be eliminated by Pitt in the 2nd round. Raymar Morgan will be the featured member of this team, with his size and ability to step outside and penchant for great defense. Marquise Gray and Goran Suton further solidify the frontcourt. Kalin Lucas will be a great pacekeeper for this team, and they will destroy the Big Ten with ease. And this.
#2 seeds:
Duke: Like Andre Nickatina does you, I hate Duke with a passion. But Krzyzewski has a nasty squad fielded this year. Nolan Smith will probably take over for Duke's all-time underperformer (well, second to Chris Carrawell) Greg Paulus at the point. Lance Thomas, Kyle Singler, Jon Scheyer and Gerald Henderson (most of all) will be nasty as usual. You know Coach K reloaded with another amazing recruiting class, led by big Miles Plumlee, who will probaly be platooning with Thomas unless Zoubek magically starts to improve his game, meaning that he will be platooning with both Zoubek and Thomas.
UCLA: Ben Howland adores every round of the tournament except for ones after the Round of 16. He took the Bruins to the Final Four two of the past three years, and to the Elite Eight last year, each time being eliminated by a championship game participant. Ben may have trouble getting this team to the Sweet 16 this year, especially since the 2 most talented players from last year's team were lottery picks (Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook) and the most powerful player (Luc Richard Mbah a Moute: he is a fucking prince!) was picked by the Bucks in the 2nd round. Jrue Holiday and Malcolm Lee will lead a solid freshman class, and Darren Collison and Josh Shipp are back. The post will not be as strong this year, as Alfred Aboya is not the offensive player (in scoring or in passing) that Love was. And Nikola Dragovic assaulted his ex-girlfriend!
Pittsburgh: I find it funny when a team falls victim to Jeremy McNeil. And the year that Syracuse won the national title, Pitt, at the Dome and by default about to become the #1 team in the country with a win (Arizona lost earlier that week to Stanford), Jeremy McNeil pulled the rug out from under them by hitting both ends of a one-and-one (Carmelo said after the game: "He never could do it in practice, and then we always gotta run.") and then tipping in a miss to put Syracuse up by 2 with less than a second left. Probably the most ridiculous celebration that side of the Hakim throwing the ball in the air against Notre Dame with way too much time on the clock later that year. Now, things are different. Still, Syracuse has been ranked #1, and Pitt, still never. Sam Young and Levance "Broken Legs" Fields are back, along with local hero DeJuan Blair. Jamie Dixon has by far his best recruiting class ever coming in led by Nasir Robinson.
Oklahoma: If I were to play against Blake Griffin, I'd shit myself too. Jeff Capel also has some real solid guards in Austin Johnson and and Kyle Crocker, whose mom made brownies for the team before their first game. Willie Warren is a welcome addition to the back court depth. But fuck, Blake Griffin is a fucking force. Sorry for cussin'.
#3 Seeds
Texas: I wasn't a firm believer in DJ Augustin last year, and now that he is with the Bobcats, I still am not. Damion James started playing really well, finally getting the chance to be out of the shadow cast by Kevin Durant (not doing so well himself in Oklahoma City). Dexter Pittman and Connor Atchley are solid up front. AJ Abrams is still there, and Justin Mason may be able to put together his freshman year (great shooting numbers and mediocre assist and turnover numbers) with last year (mediocre shooting and improved assist and turnover numbers). From among Harrison Smith, freshman Varez Ward, and Dogus Balbay, someone must improve or their back court will be weak like Syracuse last year (more on that later).
Kentucky: Billy Gillespie is about to work a miracle, and might get himself some Ashley Judd poon as payment. He did have a tough year last year but managed to beat Tennessee and get a tournament bid. This year? I bet Patrick Patterson is way healthier and he is definitely a dark horse first-team All-American pick, but I think he will have that solid year. Jodie Meeks in the back court and Perry Stevenson in the front court need to step up in order that Kentucky can play up to their potential.
Gonzaga: By far my favorite mid-major for being the birthplace of the Morristache. Austin Daye is what Pat Calathes could never be: a 6'10" guard who can dominate games. Josh Heytvelt is back, and no word whether he will get any magic mushrooms references from announcers is the Zags go far in the Dance. Jeremy Pargo, Matt Bouldin, and Micah Downs will handle well, and Mark Few also brought in a good class of freshmen that will make this team even more dangerous with their depth.
Purdue: A team with a nasty streak is the best way to classify the Boilermakers under Matt Painter. Gene Keady taught him how to play Purdue basketball, and his teams sure play it better than any of Keady's ever did. The core of E'Twaun Moore, Robbie Hummel, Keaton Grant, and Chris Kramer. Scott Martin would be on this list, but he transferred to Notre Dame for undisclosed reasons. But Purdue still returns 7 players who averaged more than 15 minutes per game and I think they will improve on their second round appearance in the tournament, as long as Keady didn't teach Painter how to choke.
#4 Seeds
Memphis: A lot was lost last year, including what seemed like a sure national title, but also the amazing Derrick Rose, who returned to Chicago to suit up for the Bulls, and the maniacal Joey Dorsey, who might actually make me shit my pants more than Blake Griffin if I were to guard him. Calipari brought in Tyreke Evans and Wesley Witherspoon to help make up for the loss, and Antonio Anderson, Robert Dozier, Shawn Taggart, Robert Dozier, Willie Kemp, and Andre Allen will be more than ready to increase their output to fill the void. And Pierre Henderson-Niles? Well, PETA had some choice words that may have led him to devour a few PETA members.
Davidson: I'll be the first to say that this ranking may end up being too high. Stephen Curry may be the best player in the country this year. I think he may have been the best last year, but Tyler Hansbrough just makes all hose sportswriters ejaculate with all his grit and being white. Stephen will have a but of a tougher year this year, especially without the dude feeding him the ball as Jason Richards, last year's national assists leader, graduated. The bulk of last year's team is gone, so Andrew Lovedale, Stephen Rossi and Zach from Saved by the Bell (Amirite? AMIRITE?!?!?) will have to step up, as well as the coach's son, Brendan.
Arizona State: Geez, it's been a while. Herb Sendek built up a team at NC State, and now one from Tempe is about to rise. James Harden could end up being a first-team All-American if the Sun Devils live up to expectations this year. Jeff Pendergraph wants to earn his own honors in his senior year, and Harden's fellow sophomore Ty Abbott will also be key to a good season.
Florida: Billy Donovan got a tough break when Jai Lucas asked to transfer because he wanted time at point guard, a position filled easily by Nick Calathes, who was solid last year. Billy did lock out his team last year, and if that doesn't make them angry about playing in the fucking NIT, I don't know what will. Eloy Vargas and Kenneth Kadji lead a group of 6 freshmen to add to 5 sophomores and only one junior and one senior. Give Billy a year to get back to the Final Four, because this group can definitely do it.
Meaningless Preseason Award Tour with Mohammed my man, going to each and every place with a mic in my hand:
Player of the Year: Hansbrough will win it, but I think Blake Griffin may just do so much at Oklahoma and Hansbrough may be out indefinitely for so long that Griffin will take it.
Coach of the Year: Vast improvement is the hallmark of this one, so I'm giving it to Billy Donovan, who may next make his players go kill an alligator to eat if they end up in the NIT again this year.
Freshman of the Year: USC lost a lot last year. OJ Mayo is with the Grizz in the League, and Davon Jefferson is with the Heat...the Maccabi Haifa Heat. USC is left with a team devoid of a scorer until Master P shows up and offers Demar DeRozan as long as his son, Lil Romeo, also gets a spot on the team. Now, no other team showed interest in Miller, who might not even be good enough to play in the Ivy League. Actually, I'm 100% sure Lil Romeo would not be able to compete in the Ivy League. But Demar DeRozan should be dominant in the PAC-10, and will probably be way more efficient than OJ ever was.
First Team All-Americans:
C: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
F: Tyler Hansbrough, UNC
F: Patrick Patterson, Kentucky
G: Stephen Curry, Davidson
G: Ty Lawson, UNC
Second Team All-Americans:
C: Hasheem Thabeet, UConn
F: Earl Clark, Louisville
F: Sam Young, Pittsburgh
G: Gerald Henderson, Duke
G: James Harden, Arizona State
Freshman All-Americans:
C: BJ Mullens, Ohio State
F: Al-Farouqq Aminu, Wake Forest
F: Demar DeRozan, USC
G: Scotty Hopson, Tennessee
G: Jrue Holiday, UCLA
Teams for which I have a rooting interest, analyzed:
Syracuse: I fucking love Jonny Flynn. I could give a shit if Donte Greene is getting time in the League (he barely is, but probably will when the Kings miss the playoffs and stop caring), because Jonny Flynn is going to do big things at Syracuse. 5.3 assists last year? With Rautins and Devendorf back, that number will rise. He shot 46% (I am pissed about that, he should have been shooting more with his much more accurate jumper than Donte was) and 35% from 3. Jonny is the barometer on this team, and he will lead them however far they go.
Arinze is fucking solid inside, and hopefully his free-throw touch will be better. And if Rick Jackson can actually make shots in the post (the moves were great, the touch was not)? The inside will be solid. Maybe even Sean Williams will be solid too. Paul Harris will continue to be a bull on the boards and might not be as stupid as he was last year, which includes cooling it with the 3's. Devo and Rautins will make it way easier for everyone if they are on mark, which is highly likely. Mookie Jones and Kris Joseph will be solid additions to the team to replace Donte. I am very excited. Bring on Florida, bring on Memphis, bring on the Big East, and let's see what this team can do.
Penn: That transition year was weird last year. Ibby Jaaber seemed fine without a transition year. So did Mark Zoller. Now, Glen Miller builds. WTF???!?!?!?!? Kevin Egee (cheated on an astronomy exam, off of yours truly) and Brennan Votel are the leaders, although their experience doesn't seem that useful. Darren Smith returns from a year spent being injured. Will he be better? Will this dude from the Bahamas be any good? The sophomores should be ready, as Tyler Bernadini took home the Big 5 Freshman of the Year award last year, and Harrison Gaines looks poised to be the floor general of this offense. There was much turmoil in the starting lineup last year, so if Miller can settle on a 5, the Quakers will be solid. Just wait until after the 1st game (lol UNC).
In one week, Extra Super Tuesday begins, and by golly, I will have a change of pants available. Or a catheter installed.
Oct 29, 2008
The Republican Party's Fall As Told Through Sports
As far as we can see, Republicans are nearly extinct. Hell they've been on their way down since Reagan lied his way through making us feel happy while actually letting the savings and loan crisis slip through his teflon hands. But right now? Things not looking too good, especially as John McCain chooses "the Gipper" as the movie character most similar to him on "Meet the Press." McCain thinks he will die and become a rallying cry for the Republicans? That's not what I call optimism, but I digress.
Let's just go back to 2006's Gubernational election on Pennsylvania, which boiled down from Democrat vs. Republican to Eagles vs. Steelers, as Ed Rendell, former Philadelphia mayor and still contributor to Eagles postgame on Comcast Sports, beat out Lynn Swann, a HOF Steelers receiver. That really didn't help the Republicans make any headway in our swing state, and Democrats have made huge gains. But how bad is it? Hell, look what Franco Harris is up to right now. Sure makes the Republicans look lacking in the endorsements in Pennsylvania, especially since Rick Santorum has (thankfully) disappeared for good. Even a populist figure couldn't even get close to pulling off an election? Not a very good sign, even with Swann's complete lack of political experience.
And McCain? Look no further than fellow white-haired, aging-so-fast-before-our-eyes Arizona icon Lute Olson, who stepped down from his post as head coach of the Arizona Wildcats last week amid a divorce (his first, as his first wife died of cancer) and a VERY possible NCAA violation (NOT A SMART THING TO DO!) and probably had a stroke (taking care of himself as well as McCain keeps his medical records complete). Probably makes him look worse than McCain, but with this, I'm not sure:
Wow, well, let's go Phillies!
And now for this: this a proper way to do something, and then there is the completely wrong way to do something. Bud Selig did the right thing for Game 5. But he just did it the completely wrong way. Seriously, the adverb to describe how he suspended Game 5: fucktardedly. You either stop it before it becomes official, when even a Sri Lankan would call it a monsoon in the 3rd. But just letting the Phillies fuck up? I don't think so. I can't believe MLB has this fucking stone robot under contract for another 4 years doing a job that he seems to do extremely terribly, except the owners LOVE money, and Selig makes sure they get a shitload. Whatever, like I care about baseball that isn't the Fightins'.
Let's just go back to 2006's Gubernational election on Pennsylvania, which boiled down from Democrat vs. Republican to Eagles vs. Steelers, as Ed Rendell, former Philadelphia mayor and still contributor to Eagles postgame on Comcast Sports, beat out Lynn Swann, a HOF Steelers receiver. That really didn't help the Republicans make any headway in our swing state, and Democrats have made huge gains. But how bad is it? Hell, look what Franco Harris is up to right now. Sure makes the Republicans look lacking in the endorsements in Pennsylvania, especially since Rick Santorum has (thankfully) disappeared for good. Even a populist figure couldn't even get close to pulling off an election? Not a very good sign, even with Swann's complete lack of political experience.
And McCain? Look no further than fellow white-haired, aging-so-fast-before-our-eyes Arizona icon Lute Olson, who stepped down from his post as head coach of the Arizona Wildcats last week amid a divorce (his first, as his first wife died of cancer) and a VERY possible NCAA violation (NOT A SMART THING TO DO!) and probably had a stroke (taking care of himself as well as McCain keeps his medical records complete). Probably makes him look worse than McCain, but with this, I'm not sure:
Wow, well, let's go Phillies!
And now for this: this a proper way to do something, and then there is the completely wrong way to do something. Bud Selig did the right thing for Game 5. But he just did it the completely wrong way. Seriously, the adverb to describe how he suspended Game 5: fucktardedly. You either stop it before it becomes official, when even a Sri Lankan would call it a monsoon in the 3rd. But just letting the Phillies fuck up? I don't think so. I can't believe MLB has this fucking stone robot under contract for another 4 years doing a job that he seems to do extremely terribly, except the owners LOVE money, and Selig makes sure they get a shitload. Whatever, like I care about baseball that isn't the Fightins'.
Oct 27, 2008
SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET ROWDY
Philadelphia hasn't been this happy since Super Bowl XXXIX, when Donovan reportedly threw up their chances in the last minute. And this is quite a bit more definite. As I am here, I thought I'd write about the atmosphere, because it extends way beyond the South Philadelphia Sports Complex area. EVERYBODY is gettin' perked, both through foreign materials as well as through the success of the Phillies (and some with the foreign materials because of the Phillies). I saw one dude walking around in a Mets hat and generally just getting jeered. People weren't even trying to kick him or anything, just mocking his hat choice! It is amazing.
The day that Philadelphians had yesterday was ethereal. For the first time in the history of the South Philadelphia Sports Complex, two teams played home games on the same day. And The Who played a show at the Wachovia Center while the Phillies played Game 4. Both were preceded by the Eagles beating the Falcons easily. But for all of this I just want you to close your eyes and imagine this: tailgating the Eagles game at 11AM, going to the Eagles game, leaving the Eagles game perked from the victory, having to find a new parking spot (probably not possible, even as Lincoln Financial was, as usual when they are in contention, filled up), tailgating for the Phillies, going into the Phillies game and watching the mass extinction of the World Series' hopes of a species, and then leaving to revel on Broad Street? I'd fucking dig that. That is the opposite of sports fan suicide.
Tonight, I'll be watching at a local bar, and then hopefully tomorrow, I'll be at a parade. To those who doubt my plans, I say, WHY CAN'T US?
The day that Philadelphians had yesterday was ethereal. For the first time in the history of the South Philadelphia Sports Complex, two teams played home games on the same day. And The Who played a show at the Wachovia Center while the Phillies played Game 4. Both were preceded by the Eagles beating the Falcons easily. But for all of this I just want you to close your eyes and imagine this: tailgating the Eagles game at 11AM, going to the Eagles game, leaving the Eagles game perked from the victory, having to find a new parking spot (probably not possible, even as Lincoln Financial was, as usual when they are in contention, filled up), tailgating for the Phillies, going into the Phillies game and watching the mass extinction of the World Series' hopes of a species, and then leaving to revel on Broad Street? I'd fucking dig that. That is the opposite of sports fan suicide.
Tonight, I'll be watching at a local bar, and then hopefully tomorrow, I'll be at a parade. To those who doubt my plans, I say, WHY CAN'T US?
Oct 3, 2008
THE BUZZER MAKES QUANTUM LEAPS AND OTHER BIG NEWS
So I submitted a list to McSweeney's and LOOK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. Just like Scott Bakula in terms of making the leap, but more of staying in my own body. Okay, stop jumping on my back all of you followers of this blog. Seriously, the four of you have hurt me greatly with this celebration! I feel like fucking Kevin Everett (I know, TOO SOON.). Really, this is the easiest shit to do...ever. It doesn't even take balls, I think it's just consciousness and a pinch of wit. But seriously, Mike Mussina does crossword puzzles everyday, and he's turning to Joba for help compiling a list? No wonder the Yankees missed the playoffs.
Moving on to more meaningful current events, but because of our recession, it seems that Wikipedia has also devolved. I couldn't believe this shit:
The featured article of the day for the English version of Wikipedia...is TYRONE WHEATLEY?!!!?!!111//1/1?!?!?!?1/1/!?1?1?!?! If Wikipedia were the true measure of American attitude to the depression, here is what would be happening right now:
1.) All universities would burned for warmth and the metal scrapped.
2.) In an ode to the Dominican impoverished population's dedication to baseball, children would take all their parents' checks and cash and paper mache them into helmets and pads to play football.
Well, that sounds pretty god damn sad, so I think I'm going to keep it political and move onto some presidential campaign bullshit. First off, on Deadspin, I read that John McCain is getting herbal supplements from Bill Romanowski (The link is so worth it to see the face John McCain will make when he shits himself to death in 4 years). Also, this whole situation implies one thing: John McCain is a steroid user. Look, "Romocop" may be off the juice now, but really, he's probably still on it because who the fuck is going to drug test him now? Does Roger Goodell give a shit about Bill Romanowski? No. But I guess John McCain does, and that shit is big enough that he is willing to take steroids. Didn't Jason Grimsley get busted while he was playing for the Diamondbacks? From what I'm reading, John McCain is very pro-steroid. If he is elected, I'm thinking lots of dudes' balls will shrink and further decrease the birth rate, which should help the approaching overpopulation of the planet. But Sarah Palin will probably grow balls.
And the vice presidential debate! Never has losing looked so much like winning to every idiot pundit in our country! I went to the gym after the debate and I was only listening as those idiot talking heads "analyzed" the debates. And for some reason, the fact that she didn't lose that badly was a victory for the McCain campaign. I'm sorry, but she came off, and I know this next sentence will be the most offensive thing I will EVER put on this blog, but she came off to me as being even more retarded than her infant child. In foreign policy, she made the most common bullshit Republican misconception on Iran her main point: Ahmadinejad is in control of Iran. In reality, it was sort of like how Lane Kiffin was reportedly in control of the Raiders. And her plan to put the American embassy to Israel in Jerusalem? That one was pretty much out of left field no country has an embassy in Jerusalem proper and no one is proposing it), and will pretty much piss off every Palestinian ally and make a peace deal that much more unlikely if she and McCain do bring that up. She only had talking points. She had no response to anything that Biden said, and he gave her something she couldn't even defend herself about when he made fun of the Bridge to Nowhere, which she reportedly actually took the money for but then didn't have it built. Funny thing is that in Wasilla, if you get sexually assaulted, you have to pay out of your own pocket for the pap smear, and she has all that extra money, and NOW she is about women's rights? Sarah Palin is a sick fucking joke who in reality has such a lack of foreign policy experience that I could teach her something in a debate, which is sad.
Anyways, all this shows is that McCain is Bob Dole redux (he was also a war hero you know, and essentially also an incompetent liar). And if our country somehow elects him, well, I'll just miss Bill Clinton a whole lot more. Please don't elect him. PLEASE. Too bad Syracuse can't lose a game to increase my faith in the world.
Moving on to more meaningful current events, but because of our recession, it seems that Wikipedia has also devolved. I couldn't believe this shit:
The featured article of the day for the English version of Wikipedia...is TYRONE WHEATLEY?!!!?!!111//1/1?!?!?!?1/1/!?1?1?!?! If Wikipedia were the true measure of American attitude to the depression, here is what would be happening right now:
1.) All universities would burned for warmth and the metal scrapped.
2.) In an ode to the Dominican impoverished population's dedication to baseball, children would take all their parents' checks and cash and paper mache them into helmets and pads to play football.
Well, that sounds pretty god damn sad, so I think I'm going to keep it political and move onto some presidential campaign bullshit. First off, on Deadspin, I read that John McCain is getting herbal supplements from Bill Romanowski (The link is so worth it to see the face John McCain will make when he shits himself to death in 4 years). Also, this whole situation implies one thing: John McCain is a steroid user. Look, "Romocop" may be off the juice now, but really, he's probably still on it because who the fuck is going to drug test him now? Does Roger Goodell give a shit about Bill Romanowski? No. But I guess John McCain does, and that shit is big enough that he is willing to take steroids. Didn't Jason Grimsley get busted while he was playing for the Diamondbacks? From what I'm reading, John McCain is very pro-steroid. If he is elected, I'm thinking lots of dudes' balls will shrink and further decrease the birth rate, which should help the approaching overpopulation of the planet. But Sarah Palin will probably grow balls.
And the vice presidential debate! Never has losing looked so much like winning to every idiot pundit in our country! I went to the gym after the debate and I was only listening as those idiot talking heads "analyzed" the debates. And for some reason, the fact that she didn't lose that badly was a victory for the McCain campaign. I'm sorry, but she came off, and I know this next sentence will be the most offensive thing I will EVER put on this blog, but she came off to me as being even more retarded than her infant child. In foreign policy, she made the most common bullshit Republican misconception on Iran her main point: Ahmadinejad is in control of Iran. In reality, it was sort of like how Lane Kiffin was reportedly in control of the Raiders. And her plan to put the American embassy to Israel in Jerusalem? That one was pretty much out of left field no country has an embassy in Jerusalem proper and no one is proposing it), and will pretty much piss off every Palestinian ally and make a peace deal that much more unlikely if she and McCain do bring that up. She only had talking points. She had no response to anything that Biden said, and he gave her something she couldn't even defend herself about when he made fun of the Bridge to Nowhere, which she reportedly actually took the money for but then didn't have it built. Funny thing is that in Wasilla, if you get sexually assaulted, you have to pay out of your own pocket for the pap smear, and she has all that extra money, and NOW she is about women's rights? Sarah Palin is a sick fucking joke who in reality has such a lack of foreign policy experience that I could teach her something in a debate, which is sad.
Anyways, all this shows is that McCain is Bob Dole redux (he was also a war hero you know, and essentially also an incompetent liar). And if our country somehow elects him, well, I'll just miss Bill Clinton a whole lot more. Please don't elect him. PLEASE. Too bad Syracuse can't lose a game to increase my faith in the world.
Sep 7, 2008
THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO SYRACUSE FOOTBALL IN A LONG TIME!
Now, this result may be disheartening to some (eg Greg Robinson) but the rest of syracuse should be celebrating! It is the program's low-point under G-Rob (Pasqualoni's: take your pick: loss to Temple on the missed PAT or the loss at Rutgers where Rich "Chris Hovan ain't got nothin' on me in the being psychotic on the field attribute" Scanlon ran into the stands in New Brunswick to protect his mother), but if this doesn't wake up Daryl Gross from his retarded dream-like state like a baby alligator biting his dick, well, Daryl Gross is in one helluva retarded dream-like state.
Let's get this all straightened out: Syracuse just lost to Akron, the college LeBron claims he would have gone to if he hadn't made the jump straight to the pros...to play basketball. They have been to one bowl total in their history, the Motor City Bowl, which they lost. They have a total of 7 season of better-than-.500 football, which is better than Greg Robinson has ever done. And they might have just had their program's signature regular season win (their MAC championship win in 2004 is obviously way better) in beating Syracuse 42-28 at the Dome. The sadder part is that only 31808 people showed up to the Dome yesterday to watch the Orange lose to a MAC team. They might squeak by with one win this year, but I doubt it. Northwestern could only beat Duke 24-20 after destroying Syracuse. Hell, even Buffalo has already won a game. The long-winded point is this: Greg Robinson is NOT coaching in Syracuse next year. Period. This is the program's absolute low-point. I don't care of Mike Williams cheated, it's still his fault. Right here he called the defense "shabby." Who the fuck was the defensive coordinator at Texas before coming here? Greg Robinson! And Marc Baniewicz puts on the finishing touches to the end of Robinson time at Syracuse in this letter to Donnie Webb. It is ridiculous to see the change in the status,but Baniewicz really puts it well: we used to have a rivalry with Miami (who also have fallen off quite a bit), the fact that Pasqualoni was fired after taking the team to a bowl (I might have overreacted when the loss happened; I mean, Calvin Johnson destroyed us.). So, this will be your farewell tour, Greg Robinson, and Daryl Gross, you better make some real changes before next year, or you'll be next.
Let's get this all straightened out: Syracuse just lost to Akron, the college LeBron claims he would have gone to if he hadn't made the jump straight to the pros...to play basketball. They have been to one bowl total in their history, the Motor City Bowl, which they lost. They have a total of 7 season of better-than-.500 football, which is better than Greg Robinson has ever done. And they might have just had their program's signature regular season win (their MAC championship win in 2004 is obviously way better) in beating Syracuse 42-28 at the Dome. The sadder part is that only 31808 people showed up to the Dome yesterday to watch the Orange lose to a MAC team. They might squeak by with one win this year, but I doubt it. Northwestern could only beat Duke 24-20 after destroying Syracuse. Hell, even Buffalo has already won a game. The long-winded point is this: Greg Robinson is NOT coaching in Syracuse next year. Period. This is the program's absolute low-point. I don't care of Mike Williams cheated, it's still his fault. Right here he called the defense "shabby." Who the fuck was the defensive coordinator at Texas before coming here? Greg Robinson! And Marc Baniewicz puts on the finishing touches to the end of Robinson time at Syracuse in this letter to Donnie Webb. It is ridiculous to see the change in the status,but Baniewicz really puts it well: we used to have a rivalry with Miami (who also have fallen off quite a bit), the fact that Pasqualoni was fired after taking the team to a bowl (I might have overreacted when the loss happened; I mean, Calvin Johnson destroyed us.). So, this will be your farewell tour, Greg Robinson, and Daryl Gross, you better make some real changes before next year, or you'll be next.
Aug 26, 2008
Oh my GOD, GREG ROBINSON MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S!
We all like to know what's going on back home, especially when a dude from Barenaked Ladies gets caught with some coke in our home 'ville. So I make my daily checking back in, and what do I see?
Yes, I know "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is sooo dope, but look at that dope in the bottom right! What the fuck is so unknown? We suck! A Robinson "unknown press conference" would contain the following sample dialogue:
Press: Is this your breakthrough year, like last year and the year before?
Robinson:I guess I just don't know!
Press: How badly will you guys fuck up to lose this game?
Robinson: Not sure what ridiculous trick play we'll run as the fourth quarter runs out, but I think the quadruple reverse is high on my priority list.
Press: Who is starting..?
Robinson: GODDAMNIT I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK! I KNOW WE FUCKING SUCK! Look at the main story on suahtletics football page:
WE HAVE SOME GREAT PERFORMERS IN THE NFL! HOW ABOUT THAT?
Press: They all played under Pasqualoni. Coach, have you watched your team practice for the opener?
Robinson: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN TEXAS!
Yes, I know "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is sooo dope, but look at that dope in the bottom right! What the fuck is so unknown? We suck! A Robinson "unknown press conference" would contain the following sample dialogue:
Press: Is this your breakthrough year, like last year and the year before?
Robinson:I guess I just don't know!
Press: How badly will you guys fuck up to lose this game?
Robinson: Not sure what ridiculous trick play we'll run as the fourth quarter runs out, but I think the quadruple reverse is high on my priority list.
Press: Who is starting..?
Robinson: GODDAMNIT I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK! I KNOW WE FUCKING SUCK! Look at the main story on suahtletics football page:
WE HAVE SOME GREAT PERFORMERS IN THE NFL! HOW ABOUT THAT?Press: They all played under Pasqualoni. Coach, have you watched your team practice for the opener?
Robinson: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN TEXAS!
Aug 24, 2008
Gold Medal Live-Bloggin'
A late start, but regular starters for Team USA, and the regularly racist line-up from the Spanish except for injured Jose Calderon. The Americans destroyed the Spanish when they last met in group play 106-57. Oh, and on NBC's online, no Doug Collins!
2:34AM: LeBron starts things off with a 3, but Pau returns the favor with a bucket and foul, 3-3. Oh yeah, Dwight Howard somehow trips Pau on the tip-off?
2:37AM: Ah, Melo and that international 3-point-line, but Carlos Jimenez answers right back, 10-9 Spain.
2:39AM: Melo fouls on a tip, and then Kobe fouls on a long 2, so here comes Dwyane Wade.
2:41AM: Ricky Rubio is only 17, but he is sure doing wonders for his draft stock by putting in some good d on Jason Kidd.
2:43AM: A floater for Juan Carlos Navarro, but Chris Paul cherry picks, gets the foul and bucket from Ricky Rubio, and Rubio now has a tweaked wrist.
2:45AM: 4:18 left in the first, and it's 22-17 Spain behind some great ball handling through pressure. But Chris Paul with another amazing bucket and foul, and it's only 22-20 USA.
2:59AM: Dwight Howard intentionals Pau, who hits 1 of 2. Spain with the ball.
2:46AM: Pau just tipped the ball to himself 5 times from point-blank range and missed every one. Here comes little brother Marc. And for those Spanish who have somehow claimed direct ancestry from Neandertals, Marc seems to be their only true link.
2:49AM: Wade steals and reverse jams, Garabajosa comes right back, then Tayshaun hits a 2. 28-25 USA.
2:51AM: Ricky Rubio (with a taped wrist) unsuccessfully looks for the offensive foul from Dwyane Wade, and Spain is in the penalty. Wade hits the first, misses the second, which is cleaned up by Bosh. 31-25 USA.
2:53AM: Marc Gasol sandwiches two pretty nice buckets around Dwyane Wade free throws. 35-29 USA.
2:54AM: Had Deron Williams not fouled him and put Spain into the bonus, Ricky Rubio would have been #1 on SportsCenter's Top 10 with quite the dribble and probably a nasty pass.
2:55AM: Rubio hits both free throws, Wade gets a steal with 5 seconds left and manages to lose control on the 2-on-1 fast break after he has hit a 3. 38-31 USA.
What a quarter for America! But the Spanish are still in it thanks to some excellent ballhandling and great shooting.
2:57AM: Second quarter underway, and Marc Gasol elbows Melo in the face in the post. We call that an offensive foul.
2:58AM: Kobe for 3. 41-31 USA.
2:59AM: Rubio may be able to dribble with the wrist, but he can't shoot, and Kobe takes the long rebound and jams it. 43-31 USA.
3:01AM: Marc Gasol ("brothers Gasol are straight twin-towering it"-5t\_/5c0tt) pushes Melo in the back for an offensive rebound and puts it back up. 43-33 USA.
3:03AM: Melo for 3. 46-33 USA.
3:04AM: Two straight no-calls against the Americans, and then a pretty obviously clean strip by Kidd is another foul for him, and CP3 is coming in.
3:05AM: Paul to Kobe on the alley-oop, 48-40 USA.
3:06AM: Lots of fouls in this one (howard just fouled Jimenez, who hit 2 free throws, 48-42 USA). USA better hope their big men are not getting most of them since they have so few.
3:07AM: LeBron with the nastiest mid-air up-and-under and the foul on Ricky Rubio. Misses the free throw, 50-42 USA.
3:08AM: DWade steal and slam, 52-42 USA, timeout Spain. The Miami Heat have to be excited with how well he is playing.
3:09AM: On the subject, Wade hits a 3 and he has 18 already. 55-42 USA.
3:10AM: LeBron answers Felipe Reyes 2 with a 3. 58-45 USA.
3:11AM: Kobe gets a nasty dribble-drive but his pass to Bosh is off.
3:11AM: Rudy Fernandez with 5 straight and the Spanish are down 58-49.
3:12AM: Deron in for Kobe. Tayshaun tips in a Bosh miss (the Spanish keep collapsing on USA's big man every time, which works for the long-armed "the Prince of Defense" and his gigantic wingspan.)
3:14AM: Wade show continues, 63-51 USA after his three, but it's already down to 63-54 with the Rudy 3.
3:15AM: Some good Spanish passing, Marc Gasol touches an assist to Reyes to answer 2 CP3 free throws, 65-56 USA.
3:17AM: 65-58 USA after Tayshaun tries to slow down Rudy on a pick, and the Notre Dame legend hits 2 free throws.
3:19AM: Tayshaun gets an offensive rebound to give USA the rest of the quarter to score, but a foul puts Paul on the line with 26.8 seconds left. he hits both, 69-61 USA.
3:20AM: Wade misses the buzzer beater, but he still has 21 and USA leads 69-61 at the half. I feel like I'm watching an NBA All-Star game with these shooting percentages. It's amazing what Jimmy B has done with Team USA's ability to play against the zone. Essentially the offense that every team runs against SU and that he runs against man-to-man defenses. I'll be back for the second half if I don't fall asleep.
3:36AM: We're back and Kidd turns it over, leading to a Reyes 2. 69-63 USA.
3:37AM: Kobe air balls, then makes a great pass to LeBron who is the loser on the no-call.
3:38AM: Howard hits a 2, and Reyes right back. 71-65 USA.
3:39AM: Pau is hit in the face after a nice fadeaway (71-67 USA) and then we get to hear some cussin' online. How exciting. Dwight misses 2 free throws, but Melo cleans up and is fouled. Misses the free throw and Kobe fouls on the rebound. 73-67 USA.
3:41AM: Navarro floater and it's only 4.
3:42AM: Dwight with the dunk and a bit of a momentum buster. USA needs more big plays like that. But another Navarro floater makes it 75-71 USA. Coach K calls a timeout, and he is cussin'.
3:44AM: Melo misses a 3 out of the timeout, but gets an outlet on some good defense and makes it 77-71 USA.
3:45AM: No USA rebounding AND Jimenez gets an open lay-up. 77-73 USA.
3:46AM: LeBron is answered by Unfrozen Caveman, who is answered by a LeBron "AND ONE" that includes a missed free throw. 81-75 USA. Also, referees are just plain not calling fouls. Did I just see David Beckham?
3:49AM: Good zone offensive rebounding and passing and Bosh is going to the line for 2. He hits both, 83-76 USA.
3:50AM: Kobe escapes an ill-advised shot with a pass to Wade, who is fouled in the act. He hits 1 of 2, USA 84-76. He then makes it 86-76 off of a Spanish turnover.
3:54AM: Navarro answered by Deron to make it 88-78, then Deron tries goin 1 on 2 and gets called for a charge.
3:55AM: Melo answers Gasol's 2with a 3, 91-80 USA with time winding down. And Wade is called for a travel with 12.2 seconds left.
3:56AM: Navarro beats the buzzer for Spain, but the Americans increased their lead and I think have built enough momentum to hold on. Fourth quarter coming up shortly.
3:59AM: LeBron called for the loose ball foul on a fast break to start the quarter, still 91-82 USA.
4:00AM: Pau gets a tip-in, 91-84 USA.
4:01AM: Kobe bricks a 3 against the zone without a pass. Rudy gets a nasty pass to Pau, another terrible USA shot, a Rudy 3 (Touchdown Jesus is going CRAZAY) and its now 91-89? Holy shit was I wrong! Dwight Howard enters for USA.
4:03AM: Kobe with a big 2, but now USA needs to get some stops if they want to win this. 93-89 USA.
4:04AM: Big 3 from Deron after LeBron picked up his 4th foul. 96-89 USA.
4:05AM: It takes a block to make Kobe drive and dish to Howard for the jam, 98-89.
4:06AM: No rebounding from USA, and Rudy retries a 3 to make it 98-92, and then Kobe responds with a 3 to make it 101-92.
4:07AM: LeBron hits a second-chancer to make it 103-92, and the RUDY FERNANDEZ DUNKED ON DWIGHT HOWARD and hits a free throw,103-95 USA.
4:08AM: Kobe is "ill-advised 3" again.
4:09AM: But then he pins a pass to Gasol against the backboard. Howard is hacked and will probably miss these 2 free throws. Maybe they should try a little harder to get Amare on this team again. He makes 1 of 2, 104-95 USA.
4:10AM: Another Spanish offensive rebound and Howard commits his 4th foul Pau and now they're in the bonus with 4:02 left. Pau hits both and its 104-97 USA.
4:12AM: Pau hits a jumper as Bosh is the victim of a no-call and then KOBE HAS A CHANCE FOR A 4-POINT PLAY and RUDY FERNANDEZ FOULS OUT. Things just got a lot easier for USA. And Beckham should try cheering for his own country for once. Kobe makes the free throw,108-99 USA.
4:14AM: Navarro hits a 2 and Jimenez a 3 and its 108-104 before a Wade 3 makes it 111-104 USA. A Spanish timeout (cute cheerleaders for the Castillians). USA continues to hit the big shots and keep Spain from getting any closer than the two-point margin earlier in the quarter. Coach K isn't cussin' as much, probably due to Wade's 27 points saving his ass and probably getting his a gold medal.
4:17AM: Rubio throws a long board of Paul and Spain has another possession which comes up empty. 113-105 USA.
4:18AM: Kobe floats one in, and Spain starts to trap/foul intentionally.
4:19AM: CP3 hits 2 and its a 10 point lead.
4:20AM: Marc cleans up for Pau and makes it 115-107 USA.
4:21AM: Great inbounds play from USA and CP3 manages to waste quite a bit of time and Kobe hits 2 technical free throws.CP3 will shoot 2 and then USA gets the ball. I am declaring victory! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Ah, just like SUPA Econ again. CP3 hits 1 of 2 and Redd and Boozer get to come off the bench. And Rubio doesn't have a left hand. 118-107 USA.
4:24AM: That is it, let's shake some hands and get that god damn medal. And I guess I get to see Manu again as the Argintineans took the bronze earlier. I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!
4:25AM: So many shades of Econ class with the cneter court celebration right next to the Spanish. Except McGuigan is not a complete asshole like Coach K (to clarify, the exact opposite).
4:38AM: Wow, the Superbad theme. I feel like the Chinese stole a very mainstream stoner's iPod and put it on shuffle for the Olympic basketball tournament.
4:41AM: I'm about to fall asleep, so I'm going to live blog an archived online video of the medal ceremony later today. One last time:
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
2:34AM: LeBron starts things off with a 3, but Pau returns the favor with a bucket and foul, 3-3. Oh yeah, Dwight Howard somehow trips Pau on the tip-off?
2:37AM: Ah, Melo and that international 3-point-line, but Carlos Jimenez answers right back, 10-9 Spain.
2:39AM: Melo fouls on a tip, and then Kobe fouls on a long 2, so here comes Dwyane Wade.
2:41AM: Ricky Rubio is only 17, but he is sure doing wonders for his draft stock by putting in some good d on Jason Kidd.
2:43AM: A floater for Juan Carlos Navarro, but Chris Paul cherry picks, gets the foul and bucket from Ricky Rubio, and Rubio now has a tweaked wrist.
2:45AM: 4:18 left in the first, and it's 22-17 Spain behind some great ball handling through pressure. But Chris Paul with another amazing bucket and foul, and it's only 22-20 USA.
2:59AM: Dwight Howard intentionals Pau, who hits 1 of 2. Spain with the ball.
2:46AM: Pau just tipped the ball to himself 5 times from point-blank range and missed every one. Here comes little brother Marc. And for those Spanish who have somehow claimed direct ancestry from Neandertals, Marc seems to be their only true link.
2:49AM: Wade steals and reverse jams, Garabajosa comes right back, then Tayshaun hits a 2. 28-25 USA.
2:51AM: Ricky Rubio (with a taped wrist) unsuccessfully looks for the offensive foul from Dwyane Wade, and Spain is in the penalty. Wade hits the first, misses the second, which is cleaned up by Bosh. 31-25 USA.
2:53AM: Marc Gasol sandwiches two pretty nice buckets around Dwyane Wade free throws. 35-29 USA.
2:54AM: Had Deron Williams not fouled him and put Spain into the bonus, Ricky Rubio would have been #1 on SportsCenter's Top 10 with quite the dribble and probably a nasty pass.
2:55AM: Rubio hits both free throws, Wade gets a steal with 5 seconds left and manages to lose control on the 2-on-1 fast break after he has hit a 3. 38-31 USA.
What a quarter for America! But the Spanish are still in it thanks to some excellent ballhandling and great shooting.
2:57AM: Second quarter underway, and Marc Gasol elbows Melo in the face in the post. We call that an offensive foul.
2:58AM: Kobe for 3. 41-31 USA.
2:59AM: Rubio may be able to dribble with the wrist, but he can't shoot, and Kobe takes the long rebound and jams it. 43-31 USA.
3:01AM: Marc Gasol ("brothers Gasol are straight twin-towering it"-5t\_/5c0tt) pushes Melo in the back for an offensive rebound and puts it back up. 43-33 USA.
3:03AM: Melo for 3. 46-33 USA.
3:04AM: Two straight no-calls against the Americans, and then a pretty obviously clean strip by Kidd is another foul for him, and CP3 is coming in.
3:05AM: Paul to Kobe on the alley-oop, 48-40 USA.
3:06AM: Lots of fouls in this one (howard just fouled Jimenez, who hit 2 free throws, 48-42 USA). USA better hope their big men are not getting most of them since they have so few.
3:07AM: LeBron with the nastiest mid-air up-and-under and the foul on Ricky Rubio. Misses the free throw, 50-42 USA.
3:08AM: DWade steal and slam, 52-42 USA, timeout Spain. The Miami Heat have to be excited with how well he is playing.
3:09AM: On the subject, Wade hits a 3 and he has 18 already. 55-42 USA.
3:10AM: LeBron answers Felipe Reyes 2 with a 3. 58-45 USA.
3:11AM: Kobe gets a nasty dribble-drive but his pass to Bosh is off.
3:11AM: Rudy Fernandez with 5 straight and the Spanish are down 58-49.
3:12AM: Deron in for Kobe. Tayshaun tips in a Bosh miss (the Spanish keep collapsing on USA's big man every time, which works for the long-armed "the Prince of Defense" and his gigantic wingspan.)
3:14AM: Wade show continues, 63-51 USA after his three, but it's already down to 63-54 with the Rudy 3.
3:15AM: Some good Spanish passing, Marc Gasol touches an assist to Reyes to answer 2 CP3 free throws, 65-56 USA.
3:17AM: 65-58 USA after Tayshaun tries to slow down Rudy on a pick, and the Notre Dame legend hits 2 free throws.
3:19AM: Tayshaun gets an offensive rebound to give USA the rest of the quarter to score, but a foul puts Paul on the line with 26.8 seconds left. he hits both, 69-61 USA.
3:20AM: Wade misses the buzzer beater, but he still has 21 and USA leads 69-61 at the half. I feel like I'm watching an NBA All-Star game with these shooting percentages. It's amazing what Jimmy B has done with Team USA's ability to play against the zone. Essentially the offense that every team runs against SU and that he runs against man-to-man defenses. I'll be back for the second half if I don't fall asleep.
3:36AM: We're back and Kidd turns it over, leading to a Reyes 2. 69-63 USA.
3:37AM: Kobe air balls, then makes a great pass to LeBron who is the loser on the no-call.
3:38AM: Howard hits a 2, and Reyes right back. 71-65 USA.
3:39AM: Pau is hit in the face after a nice fadeaway (71-67 USA) and then we get to hear some cussin' online. How exciting. Dwight misses 2 free throws, but Melo cleans up and is fouled. Misses the free throw and Kobe fouls on the rebound. 73-67 USA.
3:41AM: Navarro floater and it's only 4.
3:42AM: Dwight with the dunk and a bit of a momentum buster. USA needs more big plays like that. But another Navarro floater makes it 75-71 USA. Coach K calls a timeout, and he is cussin'.
3:44AM: Melo misses a 3 out of the timeout, but gets an outlet on some good defense and makes it 77-71 USA.
3:45AM: No USA rebounding AND Jimenez gets an open lay-up. 77-73 USA.
3:46AM: LeBron is answered by Unfrozen Caveman, who is answered by a LeBron "AND ONE" that includes a missed free throw. 81-75 USA. Also, referees are just plain not calling fouls. Did I just see David Beckham?
3:49AM: Good zone offensive rebounding and passing and Bosh is going to the line for 2. He hits both, 83-76 USA.
3:50AM: Kobe escapes an ill-advised shot with a pass to Wade, who is fouled in the act. He hits 1 of 2, USA 84-76. He then makes it 86-76 off of a Spanish turnover.
3:54AM: Navarro answered by Deron to make it 88-78, then Deron tries goin 1 on 2 and gets called for a charge.
3:55AM: Melo answers Gasol's 2with a 3, 91-80 USA with time winding down. And Wade is called for a travel with 12.2 seconds left.
3:56AM: Navarro beats the buzzer for Spain, but the Americans increased their lead and I think have built enough momentum to hold on. Fourth quarter coming up shortly.
3:59AM: LeBron called for the loose ball foul on a fast break to start the quarter, still 91-82 USA.
4:00AM: Pau gets a tip-in, 91-84 USA.
4:01AM: Kobe bricks a 3 against the zone without a pass. Rudy gets a nasty pass to Pau, another terrible USA shot, a Rudy 3 (Touchdown Jesus is going CRAZAY) and its now 91-89? Holy shit was I wrong! Dwight Howard enters for USA.
4:03AM: Kobe with a big 2, but now USA needs to get some stops if they want to win this. 93-89 USA.
4:04AM: Big 3 from Deron after LeBron picked up his 4th foul. 96-89 USA.
4:05AM: It takes a block to make Kobe drive and dish to Howard for the jam, 98-89.
4:06AM: No rebounding from USA, and Rudy retries a 3 to make it 98-92, and then Kobe responds with a 3 to make it 101-92.
4:07AM: LeBron hits a second-chancer to make it 103-92, and the RUDY FERNANDEZ DUNKED ON DWIGHT HOWARD and hits a free throw,103-95 USA.
4:08AM: Kobe is "ill-advised 3" again.
4:09AM: But then he pins a pass to Gasol against the backboard. Howard is hacked and will probably miss these 2 free throws. Maybe they should try a little harder to get Amare on this team again. He makes 1 of 2, 104-95 USA.
4:10AM: Another Spanish offensive rebound and Howard commits his 4th foul Pau and now they're in the bonus with 4:02 left. Pau hits both and its 104-97 USA.
4:12AM: Pau hits a jumper as Bosh is the victim of a no-call and then KOBE HAS A CHANCE FOR A 4-POINT PLAY and RUDY FERNANDEZ FOULS OUT. Things just got a lot easier for USA. And Beckham should try cheering for his own country for once. Kobe makes the free throw,108-99 USA.
4:14AM: Navarro hits a 2 and Jimenez a 3 and its 108-104 before a Wade 3 makes it 111-104 USA. A Spanish timeout (cute cheerleaders for the Castillians). USA continues to hit the big shots and keep Spain from getting any closer than the two-point margin earlier in the quarter. Coach K isn't cussin' as much, probably due to Wade's 27 points saving his ass and probably getting his a gold medal.
4:17AM: Rubio throws a long board of Paul and Spain has another possession which comes up empty. 113-105 USA.
4:18AM: Kobe floats one in, and Spain starts to trap/foul intentionally.
4:19AM: CP3 hits 2 and its a 10 point lead.
4:20AM: Marc cleans up for Pau and makes it 115-107 USA.
4:21AM: Great inbounds play from USA and CP3 manages to waste quite a bit of time and Kobe hits 2 technical free throws.CP3 will shoot 2 and then USA gets the ball. I am declaring victory! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Ah, just like SUPA Econ again. CP3 hits 1 of 2 and Redd and Boozer get to come off the bench. And Rubio doesn't have a left hand. 118-107 USA.
4:24AM: That is it, let's shake some hands and get that god damn medal. And I guess I get to see Manu again as the Argintineans took the bronze earlier. I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!
4:25AM: So many shades of Econ class with the cneter court celebration right next to the Spanish. Except McGuigan is not a complete asshole like Coach K (to clarify, the exact opposite).
4:38AM: Wow, the Superbad theme. I feel like the Chinese stole a very mainstream stoner's iPod and put it on shuffle for the Olympic basketball tournament.
4:41AM: I'm about to fall asleep, so I'm going to live blog an archived online video of the medal ceremony later today. One last time:
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Aug 21, 2008
Leroi Moore 1961-2008
I've recently been on a tear in terms of writing blogs when things die. Now, I have come to hate Dave Matthews Band, mostly due to Dave Matthews, but when I was a in high school, I could not get enough. His only recent good work has been his role in Zohan. But could that motherfucker surround himself with talent, and one of my favorites was Leroi Moore. The man hated the spotlight, but he was by far the most talented member of the group. I'm sure Jeff Coffin will fill in damn well temporarily, but Leroi recently passed away from complications due to an ATV accident. Of my fondest memories of DMB concerts, most primarily involved Leroi as well as his partnership with Rashawn "Big Sexy" Ross. And boy, could Leroi play a penny whistle, among various saxophones and some sorts of clarinets. Without the showmanship of Boyd or Carter, he could still dominate a concert with his musical acumen.
I'm hoping Dave calls quits on the group after this summer. It just feels like its time since it is no longer an original line up. Then again, I am no longer a fan, so this opinion is pretty much meaningless.
More sports coming soon.
Aug 15, 2008
Mike and the Mad Dog: 1989-2008 (WFAN), 2002-2008 (YES Simulcast)
Ah, you never even got the chance to legally drink alcohol, unless you traveled in Europe after high school. Or recently went to Canada. What will we miss? How about the guessing of league leaders in batting average? The ridiculous phone interviews? The telling-off of supposed idiots. Mad Dog was the voice of this operation, but Francesca was the brains. Too bad he doesn't have Russo's charisma, so he doesn't have much of a chance of surviving long on the FAN. He does however, have the power of alliteration (Francesca on the FAN has a good ring, eh?). But if we were to make a headstone for this experience (It was more than a radio show; it was also a simulcast.), it would look like this:
Ah, glorious television. Goooooooooooodbye, MikeAndTheMadDog!
Aug 1, 2008
Ah, Donte, Donte, Donte!
As we reported here earlier this week on how Donte would not be welcome in Houston with his big mouth and Rick Adelman's extreme distaste for both his attitude and style of play, Donte done turned around and got his ass traded to Sacramento along with Bobby Jackson and a future first rounder for Ronald William Artest Jr. Yao was skeptical, but if there ever was a time for impressive trios to take over the League, except for Scranton GM Dwight Schrute, who would tend to disagree, preferring the "curse of three" in order that Andrew Bernard not join him and Michael Scott in the traveling squad to New York to hang with the temp, it is now. KG, Paul Pierce, and Jesus Shuttlesworth did so in Boston; Ron-Ron, Yao, and McGrady are about to try it out in Houston; Gasol, Bryant, and a healthy Andrew Bynum could be scary for the Lakers; the Spurs with Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili. Surrounding three stars with a supporting cast could be he wave of the future, and I don't think guys leaving for Europe is really going to be an issue in terms of filling those support roles. Josh Childress is good, but not that good. Olimpiakos has definitely overvalued him, and no other NBA team even made an offer for a reason (read: he is fucking mediocre).
But back to Donte. Rick Adelman just granted him his wish! He is going to contribute, and he'll also start to fade into obscurity a la Bison Dele. Reggie Theus will let Donte shoot, but unless the shot doctor somehow appeared and taught him how to fix everything he has been doing wrong in a lucid dream, Mr. Theus will see Donte's misses and lack of defense and show him to the bench. Anyway you look at it, it still looks like a bad choice in terms of the future for Donte to leave after this year. But the worst part? Donte must officially remain a Rocket for two weeks because he signed his contract on July 14. Rick Adelman may spend the whole time pulling a Dale Sturvetant on him, but I'm unsure of how helpful that will be.
Jul 27, 2008
Oh, Donte, when will you ever learn?
Last week, the NBA's Vegas Summer League came to an abrupt conclusion, including the retirement of Nate Robinson's jersey and subsequent removal by maintenance staff after League play had ended. As well, Donte played professionally and even scored 40 one time! He ended up finishing second in the "league" in scoringwith 22.6 per game to go along with a measly 3.6 rebounds per and shot 42.5% from the field. So, what was Donte to say afterwards? Here are the choices I could think of:
a.) "I played well and I hope I can contribute this year."
b.) "We played well and there's going to be a strong supporting cast this year."
c.) "I feel like I'm coming out and proving I'm not long-term. I feel like I can be put in there right now and be a contributor to the team."
Don't (a) and (b) sound so diplomatic? ((b) is extremely fake and you'll probably never hear a player say that, but still, read c!) Well, Donte said (c). His head is already in the clouds, which means he thinks he just got to freshman year with the Rockets. I think he is going to learn the hard way, as his new coach, Rick Adelman, expressed his own reservations about Donte, saying, "I don't know if he understands what it takes to play hard; especially at the level he's got to play at."
So, now we wait to see if it truly is an adventure for Donte this year in Houston. Can he learn to keep his mouth shut like the guy he starts in front of, Mr. Shane Battier? The lesson may get to him way too late. Other Syracuse players will be much wiser in the future as they do not aim for the immediate draft fortunes of Carmelo, who knew what he was doing, and Donte, who obviously did not.
Jul 21, 2008
Hakim Warrick is Human Quaaludes
And I'm sure Quaaludes wish they had as much length and tremendous upside potential as Hak (Jay Bilas during a long night at Duke was once quoted as saying that the 'ludes that Danny Ferry scored for him were "getting a piece of my paint...SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT") Now that my distant cousin, Pappy Chalmers, has relieved the Jayhawk of that championship drought with that clutch as hell three, Dana O'Neil over at the WWL found that it was time to bring up a demon that no longer matters to Lawrence: Mr. Michael Lee, who fell victim to this. So, I'm guessing this made you feel sort of sad, no?
"For two, maybe two and a half weeks, I just shut down totally," Lee recalled. "I didn't want to talk to anybody because I knew how much it was on everybody's mind. I didn't go out unless I absolutely had to, like to go to class or something. I just hid in my room."
Sounds like when Chris Squire dropped acid for the last time. Also, does anyone remember a John Wallace/Jason Cipolla/Lazarus Sims/JB Reafsnyder flashback article like this in 2003? Probably not, because the Orangemen were completely counted out of that one. And there wasn't any huge fuck-up that defined the game. Unless Cipolla was seduced by a cougar a la Eugene Robinson at Super Bowl XXXIII.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)