Wednesday May 21st was Redonkulous

So, for a while, I promised that the Buzzer blog was back, and then there was this extremely hypocritical two-month and two-day hiatus, and now it truly ends. I'm flipping over the money tables to be your sports blog Jesus.

Champions League Final

I took in the game with one of our new blood (whose identity will remain under wraps until he chooses his identity since we are a free society here) at Tully's. Chelsea has yet to become a global brand, as evidence from the 3 Chelski fans there compared to the 10 ManU fans (It's fucking Syracuse, which attracts international talent (for benefit glorious economy) the way Greg Robinson attracts top D-1 football players: terribly). The first half set the tone of the match to be on a classic caliber, as ManU dominated possession but a costly bounce off of Ferdinand's back right in front of the goal was enough of a chance for Lampard to equalize in the 45th, offsetting Ronaldo's header off a Wes Brown cross in the 26th. Things got chippy, as expected from two teams that finished 1-2 in both England and Europe. Scholes ended up self-flagellating while trying to cheap shot a Chelsea player and looked like Silas in The Da Vinci Code in paleness and bleeding-ness. After the half, Chelsea took over as aggressor. Michael Essien started the game at right back, which is awfully out of position for him as he is usually a central defensive mid. He wasn't up to the challenge and let Ronaldo get free for his goal, so for the 2nd half, Grant switched him with Makelele and Essien definitely helped get some pressure on Van der Sar. Drogba managed to hit some pole on a strike from right outside the box in the 77th. Extra time was Chippy McChippers as both teams realized they wouldn't score, so they essentially turned to baiting. Grant chose to ruin his suit in the rain as Ferguson covered up his fly-ass suit with a jacket (25:1 ratio of price of Ferguson's suit to Grant's Israeli attempt to wear a suit) while both stood for the first time in the match to direct the baiting. And the winner was Manchester as Drogba tried to hook Nenad Vidic like a fish with his finger and saw some red and proceeded to take 2 minutes to walk off the field. And then, 2 minutes into extra time, every player on the field magically cramped up. The funniest part: while two sets of players tried to stre...I really can't explain this, so I will wait to find video of it and see Ashley Cole. To summarize: 1-1, 120 minutes player, 4 yellow cards per team, 1 red for Chelsea who would be key for penalties in Drogba.
Ronaldo should stop doing the little stopping thing on penalties. It's like how Tim Duncan stops at a weird point in his free throw during the playoffs, causing his percentage to fall 10% from the regular season (more to come on Lakers-Spurs); he leaves the flow and it's hard to get back into it. But lucky for him, Terry choked and Anelka shot the ball right into Van der Sar's hands (Source: awfulannouncing) and saved Ronaldo's ass for the FIFA World Player of the Year award (Terry deserves to be in Ronaldo's speech, but he probably won't out of fear for the revenge that would come to him on the field). My player of the match was Van Der Sar, because he won the game (goalies win penalty shootouts in football and hockey).
Terry Smyth was on SportsCenter after the game, and Brian Kenny asked him some of the stupidest shit. If I may quote:

Isn't there a better way to settle this than penalty kicks?

Now, I will answer this question because obviously there isn't since if someone knew, FIFA would know and they would be doing that instead of penalty kicks. But seriously, Brian Kenny, how dumb are people? I'll tell you: those that switched over to ESPN to watch Around the Horn at 5 because that is how their day was planned. Don't talk down to me, it just makes me want you to spontaneously combust even more.

To end the night, I capped with Lakers-Spurs, where the NBA wishes that Tim Donaghy hadn't been caught so they could have used him to influence the series to be a 4-0 LA sweep. Ginobili had one of the worst games I've seen him play, period. Kobe just waited for the second half to have a ridiculously clutch peformance and lead a comeback over the visitors. Only 2 points in the first half, and then 25? Kobe is playing like he will replace Jordan as the cornerstone of the league and be the influence on a generation of players that Jordan was for Kobe's generation. The sections of careers are comparable in the form of SAT analogies:
Kobe's 1st dynasty years: Kobe::MJ's time at UNC: MJ
Both grab our attention and begin to truly show glimpses of the mastery we will soon see from each, and each is surrounded by top level talent: Jordan has Perkins, Worthy, and Matt Doherty to fall back on at Carolina, while Kobe had Diesel in his prime in LA.
Kobe:Kobe's middle years sans Shaq::MJ: MJ's early years in the NBA
Both have begun to have to work with minimal talent around them and learn how to be cold-blooded. MJ fucks Craig Ehlo's whole day up against the Cavs in the playoffs just as Kobe decides to put in 81 on the Raptors to celebrate Papa's birthday (Papa, for all you curious ones out there, is Steve Perry of Journey). Both build up some fucking intense mean streak, but still can't break through because they need some god damn help around them, leading to...
MJ:First 3-peat::Kobe:Now
Kobe gets Gasol, MJ gets Pippen. Both don't need to work as hard on either end, but put up huge games. Both are coached by Phil Jackson, who gives them their opportunities on offense but plays them on worse offensive players so they can wander and make big plays on defense (See: game 6, 1998 Finals, MJ strips Malone late during his masterful "last supper" (last 5 minutes of his real career) and Kobe wandering while guarding Bowen right now).
So, there you have it, explained in its entirety. Kobe might end up winning more rings, especially after Bynum comes back and plays with Kobe enough (I'm pretty sure he'll stay with the Lakers for a while after his rookie contract is up) that the Lakers can win a title with Kobe shouldering half to less than that of the load he has right now.

More buzzer to come...