May 22, 2008

"Mistakes were made"

Shocking news coming from ESPN today: The New England Patriots dynasty may be tainted.

Former Patriots lineman Ross Tucker told NFL Live last week that the head coach Bill Belichick has used players on injured reserve in team practices. Players placed on IR, under league rules, are not allowed to practice or play for the remainder of that team's season. Belichick, the defensive-minded mastermind behind the Patriots' recent run of success, has an impeccable record of closely following NFL rules, making this allegation even more stunning.

Word from New York is that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is "extremely unhappy" with Belichick's role in this so-called "Injured Reserve-gate"scandal and is considering punishments for the Patriots, including unprecedented fines and the loss of draft picks. Reaction from the media has also been stern and swift. At time of press, Gregg Easterbrook was busy completing a 22,000-word opus in the third person expressing the fact that he is shocked -- shocked! -- that such a scandal might break with the "Flying Elvii", and also explaining the science behind the latest supernovae and criticizing the US Mint's decision to circulate "too many" dollar coins at the same time, adding that the image isn't even the real Sacagawea, but an "impostor" model.

Some, however, have been slower to pile on the Patriots for their role in IR-gate. Members of the Boston media, including ESPN The Magazine columnist Bill Simmons, have stated that they would like to see more evidence of the charges against the Patriots. That evidence may come soon, when former Patriots towel boy Matty Walsh, Jr. meets with Goodell next week. The pair is expected to discuss the role that illegally using former Patriots S Guss Scott in practices may have had in the team's 32-29 win over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII.

1 comment:

danny macintosh said...

I'd say we should start a "Fire Gregg Easterbrook" website, but I think we'd probably die of old age before we made it to the end of one of his TMQ columns.