A few finals thoughts before we get to the Slammy's:
-Perhaps everyone who picked the Mavs to win the Finals weren't racists after all
-Dallas won this series because of their defense, specifically in Games 2 and 4. Miami still shut down the Mavs for the first five games. What I never in a million years would have expected was Dallas to step up to the challenge and totally take the Heat out of their offense, especially in those two pivotal games
-As much of a little boy as he is, if Miami had consistently fed Chris Bosh the ball, we may be talking about them as champs today. If for no other reason, to put Dirk or Chandler (both of which NEED to stay out of foul trouble to win) in foul trouble, or tire them out. Also after a couple shaky games to start the series, he was effective later this series in his limited touches
-Dirk would not have his ring if not for JJ Barea and Jason Terry...let that soak in for a moment
-DeShawn Stevenson is my new favorite crazy player in the league narrowly edging Captain Jack
-There isn't enough space or time for me to discuss what happened to LeBron in this series
-Dirk is the best basketball player on the planet right this second
On to Part 2 of the Slammy's
Dan McKeever/Yovani Gallardo Award for Worst Annual Fantasy Duo
Every season I have the same strategy in fantasy baseball. First and foremost I load up on starting pitching (I've had Doc Halladay every year that I've ever played), because that's half of the game, and I can never figure out why people pick one or two mediocre starters in fantasy baseball and expect to compete. The other strategy that I have is to get elite infielders at every position. Elite infielders are the scarcest in the sport, so usually in the first seven rounds, I will have spent all of my picks on starters and infielders/catcher(s). It's proven to be a great strategy,as I'm generally successfull in most leagues I'm in. However, it also means that my outfielders normally blow donkey balls. For the third year in a row, I'm stuck with the least exciting player to ever own as my third outfielder...Bobby Abreu. It's become a part of summer that I just accept and move on now.
Miguel Cairo Punch and Judy Award
Sadly...Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter along with Mo is my favorite baseball player of all time. He's been a part of my day to day life since first grade. No baseball player will ever mean as much to me. His credentials speak for themselves, and is an athlete who actually got better on the biggest stages. He made the greatest defensive play off all time on his flip to get Jeremy Giambi at the plate in the 2001 ALDS (I have always been a fan who kept perspective and wasn't blinded to make ridiculous claims about my team. So when I make this claim it's what I truly think. When you factor in the situation of the Game-Yankees clinging to a 1-0 lead in the seventh inning, the situation of the series-Yankees trailing 0-2 in the ALDS to the pitching heavy A's who had two home games in a row coming up, and what it meant-it single handidly saved the game, series, and lead to the Yankees making a seventh game of the World Series and rejuvenating a city under crisis in New York by playing in one of the greatest baseball series ever played. That's the context. The actual play itself is breath-taking when you truly think about it. First of all, I believe that no SS in baseball would have been within 30 feet of where Jeter was on that play-it was pure instinct at it's best. More under rated is the fact that once he was in that position, to make that play accurately to flip the ball to the right spot as he was running so hard to his left that he started to stumble just made that play something that I will tell my grand kids about one day after they change my diaper. OK now back to 2011). That's why it's so painful to watch Jeter get up there and do his best Scooter Rizzuto impersonation by not being able to get the ball to the warning track anymore. I would absolutely pay for a batch of steroids for my favorite Yankee.
Billy Bean era Oakland A's award for "Wait their cleanup hitter is who?" award for sorriest lineup
The Oakland A's...and their cleanup hitter last night??? Josh Willingham hitting .234 on the year. Wow. Even better. Their number three hitter was Hideki Matsui...who's hitting .221.
2005 Adrian Beltre most shameful contract year performance
To the Mets speedster Jose Reyes. So let's see, after four straight seasons of regression, and injury as a result of not being in top shape, Jose is absolutely murdering the ball. That's convenient. Shame on the team that will inevitably give Jose five years and $100 million in the off season.
Doris Burke award for creating bad media
Doris Burke has been so offensive as a NBA analyst/reporter that her award transcends sports. How appropriate that John Sterling matched her ineptitude last night during the Yankees game. AROD hit a ball to the track, that Sterling no joke for 10 seconds called a Home Run as he began to go into all his theatrics. Upon realizing the ball was in fact caught, his reason for blowing the call was that he saw a fan in the first row stand up. You can't make this stuff up...but I love the guy.
Until next year, this has been the first annual slammy awards. Thanks for participating
Jun 2, 2011
A Response to "Time for the Hating to Stop"
I understand why Steve wrote what he did about Lebron. The difference in opinion was captured by the annual Q ratings that ESPN publishes. Steve and I went to the same high school and he is 100% right when it comes to the reaction. Loyalty is overvalued, especially by many NBA fans, but it shouldn't be. It's an economic business.
My issue with it is not race. I am clear, like Larry Bird, and anyone will say that it's still about race. It's about my disappointment with how competitive balance is disappearing from the League. Players like Lebron and Wade can carry teams by themselves, both economically and competitively. Lebron spurred an amazing revival for the Cavaliers. Who would've thought in the six years he spent in Cleveland minus his rookie year, the team had minimum yearly capacity of 94%? And he's a pretty damn good player too, averaging 27.7 PPG, 7.0 APG, and 7.7 RPG for his career. Those numbers are unreal, and they held up this year (26.7 PPG, 7.0 APG, 7.5 RPG). In the playoffs, he's grabbing 8.7 RPG, blocking 1.4 shots per game, and he is down by nearly one turnover to 2.8 per game. While the rule is 2 Hall of Famers or don't even think about seeing the Larry O'Brien trophy, Dwyane Wade absolutely dominated the 2006 Finals. Shaq shot 29% on free throws and only averaged 13.7 PPG in the series. Antoine Walker shot too damn much, and Wade shouldered the scoring load as everyone else focused on shutting down the Mavericks and hitting the open shots, which no one had to consistently do during that series.
But now they're playing together because they're friends. I don't think that Isiah and Jordan were friends (see: here and here). However, Jordan was friends with other NBA players, like Barkley (kind of playing into Jeff Van Gundy's mind games theory). But Jordan, like other players during the 1980's and early-to-mid 1990's, had a different perspective on collaboration: if you were the alpha, you ran by yourself and you ran your pack until, like Barkley, you realize that you aren't able to handle the responsibilities of providing stats. Sure, some alphas don't realize that they sometimes can't provide like they once did (see: Jordan in Washington). But they were willing to isolate themselves and prove themselves alone.
Lebron, who in no way lived a cushy life, has a different perspective on how this friendship should manifest. You can see it in More Than A Game, the documentary that followed Lebron and his St. Vincent-St. Mary teammates through high school. The title speaks volumes about Lebron: I bet he loves basketball, but he values what it has given him: his best friends from before he became famous. Hell, he always said if he'd decided to go to college, he would've gone to Akron because two of his high school teammates, Dru Joyce III and Romeo Travis, were playing there.
My problem with Lebron is that he embodies this change. He is a great team player. It is ridiculous how talented he is. The man has amazing touch from everywhere, he could average a double-double every game if he wanted to focus more on crashing the boards or became more pass-first in his approach.
But Lebron has changed a standard that made the NBA so great: the greatest player never banked on another star to help him get a ring until his prime ended (see: Oscar Robertson, Gary Payton). Now, Lebron has helped to decrease competitive balance within the League by making these partnerships more acceptable. This summer, if the Hornets get contracted, we will probably see Chris Paul end up with the Knicks to team with Amar'e and Carmelo. As Steve points out, it remains to be seen whether Melo and STAT will take the opportunity seriously and step up their defensive games. I mourn the time when stars went for it on their own or with one companion followed by a supporting cast. But I cannot fail to mention, I am extremely excited to see these teams gather great players and wage more classic battles like we've seen throughout these playoffs.
Jun 1, 2011
Time for the Hating to stop
The Slammy's will make a triumphant return next week. They had to be put on hold as Johnson and Johnson is being sued for being the company that killed all of the dead babies in the dead baby jokes...a strange twist of irony. In light of these recent allegations we here at the Buzzer are cutting ties, and currently looking for a new sponsor to our awards.
As for the finals...
I'm not sure they're even worth analyzing. This series is over in four or five games. Last night, James and Wade rarely got in the paint. They became jump shooters exactly the way Dallas wanted them to. Chris Bosh was 5/18 at one point late in the game. TWO of Miami's starters did not have a single point...And yet the game wasn't in reach for Dallas by the six minute mark of the fourth quarter. Miami's defense is that good. There are too many athletes for the finesse Mavs to handle.
Honestly, I'm going to give this Heat team some credit. When LeBron announced to the world he was leaving Cleveland for South Beach, in his heart, he knew that Cleveland would forever hate him. What I think he underestimated was how much America would hate him for what he did,(Keep in mind this subject I'm about to tackle is a tough one to discuss without looking bad one way or the other, but it's relevant enough that it needs to at least be brought up) specifically white suburbia. "The Decision" and the subsequent celebration in Miami over the summer was about as over the top as it gets if you re a white man in his late 40's. Nobody can really relate to all of that kind of hype and celebration that the summer of 2010 brought into mainstream America. Parents of kids at the High School like I went to would be outraged if their kids decided to leave their respective cities to go be with their friends, and celebrate like rock stars for having made that decision. Think I'm wrong for making this a race issue? Think of white folks you know personally, or have heard on TV/Internet analyze LeBron since the decision. Did even one of them have anything but bad or even hateful things to say about LeBron and the Heat-especially in regards to the decision? If you can name somebody besides Dan LeBetard (even Client 9 thought the Decision was in poor taste) than I'm very surprised.
Now look, I'm not claiming to be someone who's totally in touch with Urban culture. I do however have a lot of close friends who grew up in the inner-city, and I do work with many as well. I'm going to be honest, not too many of them really cared about The Decision. In fact, a lot of them wonder why everyone still brings it up now almost eleven months later. I'm not one who normally thinks that race would play a role in a sport like the NBA (where the root of the sport is white fans rooting for black players), but in this case I've come to the conclusion that it certainly has.
I've heard countless people at my work, and in my group of friends pick the Mavericks to win this series. I know that I will be blasted for this, but I think race really is a factor in that. The Mavs are a team that has white men as their three most recognizable faces. There is no real urban presence on their team, there are no high-flying show boaters, and they share the ball as well as anybody. The Mavericks have paid their dues, and have put years into making their team a title contender. The media and suburbia have a comfort level with a team like the Mavs, and deep down believe that they have done things "the right way."Much like the Fab Five, the Miami Heat represent things that my Father and Grandfather can't relate to. It's perceived that LeBron is a self-absorbed jerk for his actions, and that the rest of the team are right there in his same boat. The idea of a team beating the rest of the league three on five offensively goes against everything we've ever been taught about the game.
I actually thought that Jeff Van Gundy made the best point that anybody has made about the Heat. As they were going on one of their patented runs Van Gundy said that if you took away all the hoopla and hating, that Miami was a well coached, very unselfish basketball team. He couldn't have said it any better. I watched the Knicks at the end of the season be a "me first" gunning team with no commitment to defense whatsoever. These Heat are the exact opposite. The play hard every second of every game. They swing the basketball and find the open man. Wade and LEBron have put their egos aside for a bigger cause. Most importantly, they all bust their butts on both ends of the floor. You can't name me too many other super stars or teams that do that consistently. Despite the fact that he looks like a kid playing dress up in a suit, Spoelstra actually is a good coach. It was a brilliant move to put LeBron on Terry, and essentially make him a non factor in the game.
I've hated on the Heat and it's players for the entire year. I may never like these guys on a personal level like you would someone like Shaq in his prime or Sir Charles. I've come to the conclusion that the hating from me stops now. I'm still rooting for the Mavericks, but I'm going to appreciate the things the Heat do instead of being blinded with spite. LeBron really could go down as the greatest player that's ever walked this Earth, and unlike Kobe or Mike (neither of whom were/are very good teammates) LeBron is a great teammate, an unselfish player, and can guard any player in the league and hold his own. I would do nothing but hurt myself as a fan to let the Decision get in the way of appreciating a player like him.
In a week or so when we are all watching Miami celebrate after a five game series, two thoughts will run through my mind. One is that I hope guys like Carmelo Anthony, Amare Stoudemire, Monta Ellis, Blake Griffin, and DeMarcus Cousins are taking note. If you want to be anything in this league you have to play defense, anybody who says that there's no defense in the NBA should never be allowed to talk about the NBA again. Specifically Carmelo, if he isn't inspired to at least play some defense, than I can never take him serious as a superstar in this league. The same goes for his passing. If that happens than we will have one bright future in the NBA with the Knicks and Heat battling each other for the next five years.
My second thought...If youre a basketball fan try and appreciate what the Heat are doing right now. Don't let your hate get in the way. Just imagine last summer that Steve Nash held a press conference to announce that he was leaving Phoenix to team up with Dirk and Pau Gasol to make a run at a title, and that all proceeds from the press conference were going to charity-would there have been the same reaction for them??? Food for thought
As for the finals...
I'm not sure they're even worth analyzing. This series is over in four or five games. Last night, James and Wade rarely got in the paint. They became jump shooters exactly the way Dallas wanted them to. Chris Bosh was 5/18 at one point late in the game. TWO of Miami's starters did not have a single point...And yet the game wasn't in reach for Dallas by the six minute mark of the fourth quarter. Miami's defense is that good. There are too many athletes for the finesse Mavs to handle.
Honestly, I'm going to give this Heat team some credit. When LeBron announced to the world he was leaving Cleveland for South Beach, in his heart, he knew that Cleveland would forever hate him. What I think he underestimated was how much America would hate him for what he did,(Keep in mind this subject I'm about to tackle is a tough one to discuss without looking bad one way or the other, but it's relevant enough that it needs to at least be brought up) specifically white suburbia. "The Decision" and the subsequent celebration in Miami over the summer was about as over the top as it gets if you re a white man in his late 40's. Nobody can really relate to all of that kind of hype and celebration that the summer of 2010 brought into mainstream America. Parents of kids at the High School like I went to would be outraged if their kids decided to leave their respective cities to go be with their friends, and celebrate like rock stars for having made that decision. Think I'm wrong for making this a race issue? Think of white folks you know personally, or have heard on TV/Internet analyze LeBron since the decision. Did even one of them have anything but bad or even hateful things to say about LeBron and the Heat-especially in regards to the decision? If you can name somebody besides Dan LeBetard (even Client 9 thought the Decision was in poor taste) than I'm very surprised.
Now look, I'm not claiming to be someone who's totally in touch with Urban culture. I do however have a lot of close friends who grew up in the inner-city, and I do work with many as well. I'm going to be honest, not too many of them really cared about The Decision. In fact, a lot of them wonder why everyone still brings it up now almost eleven months later. I'm not one who normally thinks that race would play a role in a sport like the NBA (where the root of the sport is white fans rooting for black players), but in this case I've come to the conclusion that it certainly has.
I've heard countless people at my work, and in my group of friends pick the Mavericks to win this series. I know that I will be blasted for this, but I think race really is a factor in that. The Mavs are a team that has white men as their three most recognizable faces. There is no real urban presence on their team, there are no high-flying show boaters, and they share the ball as well as anybody. The Mavericks have paid their dues, and have put years into making their team a title contender. The media and suburbia have a comfort level with a team like the Mavs, and deep down believe that they have done things "the right way."Much like the Fab Five, the Miami Heat represent things that my Father and Grandfather can't relate to. It's perceived that LeBron is a self-absorbed jerk for his actions, and that the rest of the team are right there in his same boat. The idea of a team beating the rest of the league three on five offensively goes against everything we've ever been taught about the game.
I actually thought that Jeff Van Gundy made the best point that anybody has made about the Heat. As they were going on one of their patented runs Van Gundy said that if you took away all the hoopla and hating, that Miami was a well coached, very unselfish basketball team. He couldn't have said it any better. I watched the Knicks at the end of the season be a "me first" gunning team with no commitment to defense whatsoever. These Heat are the exact opposite. The play hard every second of every game. They swing the basketball and find the open man. Wade and LEBron have put their egos aside for a bigger cause. Most importantly, they all bust their butts on both ends of the floor. You can't name me too many other super stars or teams that do that consistently. Despite the fact that he looks like a kid playing dress up in a suit, Spoelstra actually is a good coach. It was a brilliant move to put LeBron on Terry, and essentially make him a non factor in the game.
I've hated on the Heat and it's players for the entire year. I may never like these guys on a personal level like you would someone like Shaq in his prime or Sir Charles. I've come to the conclusion that the hating from me stops now. I'm still rooting for the Mavericks, but I'm going to appreciate the things the Heat do instead of being blinded with spite. LeBron really could go down as the greatest player that's ever walked this Earth, and unlike Kobe or Mike (neither of whom were/are very good teammates) LeBron is a great teammate, an unselfish player, and can guard any player in the league and hold his own. I would do nothing but hurt myself as a fan to let the Decision get in the way of appreciating a player like him.
In a week or so when we are all watching Miami celebrate after a five game series, two thoughts will run through my mind. One is that I hope guys like Carmelo Anthony, Amare Stoudemire, Monta Ellis, Blake Griffin, and DeMarcus Cousins are taking note. If you want to be anything in this league you have to play defense, anybody who says that there's no defense in the NBA should never be allowed to talk about the NBA again. Specifically Carmelo, if he isn't inspired to at least play some defense, than I can never take him serious as a superstar in this league. The same goes for his passing. If that happens than we will have one bright future in the NBA with the Knicks and Heat battling each other for the next five years.
My second thought...If youre a basketball fan try and appreciate what the Heat are doing right now. Don't let your hate get in the way. Just imagine last summer that Steve Nash held a press conference to announce that he was leaving Phoenix to team up with Dirk and Pau Gasol to make a run at a title, and that all proceeds from the press conference were going to charity-would there have been the same reaction for them??? Food for thought
May 31, 2011
The Manual Buzzer 2011 Finals Preview Presented by a rerun of Comedy Central's Roast of David Hasselhoff
It is finally time to see the conflict play out: Will Dirk's magic be enough to overcome The Big 3. Sorry, Carlos Boozer, but I must go back on what I previously tweeted. Chris Bosh OWNED you that series. Maybe better strategic placement of your bag, which was probably from a huge Macy's sale, will help you get better momentum going into the playoffs.
But now we are left with a rematch of the 2006 Finals with the Heat coming out of the East and the Mavs coming out of the West, relatively easily, over inexperienced teams in five game series. Both the Bulls and Thunder will take inventory into their assets and what they will do this offseason to recover from massive disappointments, but it mostly comes down to what both Finals participants have going for them: multiple weapons that have been there before.
Both teams will try to protect their primary scorers on the defensive end. Dirk is probably going to end up having to prevent Joel Anthony gathering garbage points like Charlie Kelly or setting picks that get him switched onto Wade or Lebron, which in the best interest of the Mavericks, will require Dirk to play some matador defense and let the effective help system take over.
Dirk presents a similar quandary to the Heat, but the emergence of Udonis Haslem in Game 2 makes it a much easier puzzle for Spoelestra. If Haslem had been playing the whole regular season, or more than 13 games, no one would be dwelling on the Heat's losing streaks and struggle against the League's elite. But now he provides exactly what Miami needs opposite Bosh. While he struggled in Games 4 and 5, and only saw garbage time in Game 1, Haslem showed himself ready to defend whatever scoring big man would be thrown at him. However, I just doubt that Haslem, at 6'8", has the discipline and athleticism to guard Dirk mano e mano. He will probably effectively provide fouls, but that is about it. Therefore, it falls to Bosh, and possibly Juwan Howard providing fouls off the bench, to make Dirk earn it from the line, which is a foolish proposition following his inhuman 59-61 performance from the stripe against the Thunder. Even if the great David Hasselhoff is invoked again.
A lot is being made of Scottie Pippen's foolish comments about Lebron being better than Jordan, but I think one scenario will be the icing on the cake: if Lebron has to guard Dirk late in the game like he did with Derrick Rose in the Conference Finals and manages to shut him down. I hate to say it, but for how good of a defender Jordan was, he did it mostly on help defense. His most famous defensive play in what I consider his true final game, Game 6 of the 1998 Finals (The Wizards never happened, OKAY?!), came when he helped off of Jeff Hornacek. It was Scottie's job to guard the best offensive backcourt player on the other team, which is probably why he felt spiteful enough to say what he did about Jordan. And when he did get stuck on the other team's best offensive player? Check this video out:
I know this is only one play and near the end of MJ's career, but even then, you have to play smarter and not be made a fool by a young bull like that.
Back to the Finals with the prediction: I think Kevin McHale is right; the Mavs have turned a corner defensively with Tyson Chandler and Brendan Haywood providing the best 1-2 punch at the position in the League. The defensive matchups will be difficult for the Mavs, but as Jason Kidd showed in the Conference Semifinals, he can guard the best because of the support system he has behind him. It will be especially helpful to have DeShawn Stevenson, a man who appreciates Abraham Lincoln's presidency quite a bit, to help out with the defensive burden. Whoever the Heat throw at Dirk will not have the patience to guard him, so I expect him to see the line a lot. Unless the Heat double him, in which case Dirk is smart enough to dish it out to the other three 3-point shooters available to him.
But again, Lebron is Lebron, and Wade is Wade, and for how terrible people think Bosh is, I don't think there is a better third-best player in the League right now. Miami will give them fits with a spread floor with Mike Miller and Mike Bibby, or as I like to call them, "Weird-Lookin' Mikes," spotted up from three. In desperation, James Jones might be added to the rotation, but Haslem's ability to defend, and Jones' complete lack of it, probably means he gets no time.
I have to go with the team that is on fire and has more weapons it can utilize. I just feel like Lebron and Wade will start isolating, which will make them much less effective and lead to the Heat's downfall. Mavs in 7.
But now we are left with a rematch of the 2006 Finals with the Heat coming out of the East and the Mavs coming out of the West, relatively easily, over inexperienced teams in five game series. Both the Bulls and Thunder will take inventory into their assets and what they will do this offseason to recover from massive disappointments, but it mostly comes down to what both Finals participants have going for them: multiple weapons that have been there before.
Both teams will try to protect their primary scorers on the defensive end. Dirk is probably going to end up having to prevent Joel Anthony gathering garbage points like Charlie Kelly or setting picks that get him switched onto Wade or Lebron, which in the best interest of the Mavericks, will require Dirk to play some matador defense and let the effective help system take over.
Dirk presents a similar quandary to the Heat, but the emergence of Udonis Haslem in Game 2 makes it a much easier puzzle for Spoelestra. If Haslem had been playing the whole regular season, or more than 13 games, no one would be dwelling on the Heat's losing streaks and struggle against the League's elite. But now he provides exactly what Miami needs opposite Bosh. While he struggled in Games 4 and 5, and only saw garbage time in Game 1, Haslem showed himself ready to defend whatever scoring big man would be thrown at him. However, I just doubt that Haslem, at 6'8", has the discipline and athleticism to guard Dirk mano e mano. He will probably effectively provide fouls, but that is about it. Therefore, it falls to Bosh, and possibly Juwan Howard providing fouls off the bench, to make Dirk earn it from the line, which is a foolish proposition following his inhuman 59-61 performance from the stripe against the Thunder. Even if the great David Hasselhoff is invoked again.
A lot is being made of Scottie Pippen's foolish comments about Lebron being better than Jordan, but I think one scenario will be the icing on the cake: if Lebron has to guard Dirk late in the game like he did with Derrick Rose in the Conference Finals and manages to shut him down. I hate to say it, but for how good of a defender Jordan was, he did it mostly on help defense. His most famous defensive play in what I consider his true final game, Game 6 of the 1998 Finals (The Wizards never happened, OKAY?!), came when he helped off of Jeff Hornacek. It was Scottie's job to guard the best offensive backcourt player on the other team, which is probably why he felt spiteful enough to say what he did about Jordan. And when he did get stuck on the other team's best offensive player? Check this video out:
I know this is only one play and near the end of MJ's career, but even then, you have to play smarter and not be made a fool by a young bull like that.
Back to the Finals with the prediction: I think Kevin McHale is right; the Mavs have turned a corner defensively with Tyson Chandler and Brendan Haywood providing the best 1-2 punch at the position in the League. The defensive matchups will be difficult for the Mavs, but as Jason Kidd showed in the Conference Semifinals, he can guard the best because of the support system he has behind him. It will be especially helpful to have DeShawn Stevenson, a man who appreciates Abraham Lincoln's presidency quite a bit, to help out with the defensive burden. Whoever the Heat throw at Dirk will not have the patience to guard him, so I expect him to see the line a lot. Unless the Heat double him, in which case Dirk is smart enough to dish it out to the other three 3-point shooters available to him.
But again, Lebron is Lebron, and Wade is Wade, and for how terrible people think Bosh is, I don't think there is a better third-best player in the League right now. Miami will give them fits with a spread floor with Mike Miller and Mike Bibby, or as I like to call them, "Weird-Lookin' Mikes," spotted up from three. In desperation, James Jones might be added to the rotation, but Haslem's ability to defend, and Jones' complete lack of it, probably means he gets no time.
I have to go with the team that is on fire and has more weapons it can utilize. I just feel like Lebron and Wade will start isolating, which will make them much less effective and lead to the Heat's downfall. Mavs in 7.
May 27, 2011
Manual Buzzers First Annual Slammy Awards presented by Johnson + Johnson's Baby Oil
As I sat there and watched Chicago pull the biggest gag in a single game since the 07 National Title game-strangely enough also involving Derrick Rose-it made me just about sick realizing that after all of the basketball that I watched this year, it's going to culminate in the Miami Heat winning the NBA title. It's enough to make me want to puke.
I've been so into the NBA this year, that baseball has taken a backseat thus far. Maybe like how Kobe's older in basketball years than his real age because of how many playoff games he's played in, than a similar principle is true for me as a baseball fan-I've watched about twice as much baseball as a non Yankee fan because of all the post-season games I've watched since 1995. Going into spring training I just wasn't as into it like I normally am. The NBA took most of my attention, and quite frankly I wasn't (and still am not) in love with the Yankees roster. I just don't understand how they saw the writing on the wall with a lot of their older players and did nothing about it. More importantly, I'm not sure how you have unlimited resources at your disposal and come out with that rotation. I guess those factors made me neglect a sport that I religiously follow. It seems almost blasphemous that I haven't truly written a baseball column yet. On the heels of me watching that debacle in Chicago (and perhaps hating the NBA now if Miami wins), I thought it was a good time to introduce the Manual Buzzer's first Annual Slammy Awards presented by Johnson and Johnson's Baby Wipes. Without further ado:
Bobby Crosby Award for the most hyped young player who hasn't and probably wont accomplish jack
Hate to say it, but our very own fat toad Phil Hughes. This guy was once the number one minor league prospect in all of baseball. In a career that is now into roughly it's fifth season, Phil has essentially had two productive stretches in his entire career. One of them was as a setup guy. Two things are abundantly clear to me. One is that he will never stay healthy for consecutive seasons. Two, the seasons that he does stay healthy all year, he will be worn out come playoff time. The two years that he actually did pitch the whole year, he looked like he was going to throw up he was so fatigued by October.
I'm not saying that he can't be a fourth of fifth starter for the Yankees someday (but expect a minimum of ten starts a year missed on the DL), but he never will be an ace or a game changing pitcher for the Yankees.
Lou Piniella in Tampa Bay award for manger who looks the most like they get blackout drunk after or possibly during the game
A tie between Eric Wedge, and Ron Washington. There's not even anyone else in their stratosphere's. As I mentioned once to dannymac, can you imagine what it's like when Josh Hamilton and Ron Washington are on the road together. What are the odds that they "stay back at the hotel" when the rest of the teams and coaches go out together, as they call up some local merchants. As for Wedge, he has the same demeanor and look as Quint from Jaws, which makes you categorically eligible for this award.
October 2006 Kenny Rogers award for best random performance by a washed up player who was 99.99999% likely to have been aided by steroids
To our boy "The Giambino" for going yard three times a couple weeks back for the Colorado Rockies. I couldn't have put it any better than the text Big Mark sent me that night. " Giambino hit three dingers tonight. I didn't even know he was still in the league." Yep, that must have been a pretty good batch to wake up that dusty hasbeen.
Derek Bell "Operation Shutdown" award for the player who is giving the least effort this year
This award became wide open once Uncle Manny hung em up. There's a lot of ways I could go here, but I'm going to have to go with Milton Bradley. I understand a guy can have anger management issues and have trouble getting them under control, but when it gets to the point where you know that you are on your way out of the league because of this fact, than I actually have to question how much you want it. It's ridiculous to think that anybody could have that much trouble getting themselves under control, and not be a psychopathic serial rapist or something. I think Milton has made his money in the game, and he's just trying to get himself thrown out so he doesn't have to play.
David Ortiz award for player obviously using steroids that nobody realized as it was happening
Derek Jeter
2007 Baltimore Orioles award for team that will fade after memorial day
This is an easy one. The tribe. Their young pitchers are not nearly talented enough to hold up over 162 games. Watching them lose two out of three to the socks when they could have made a statement just confirmed that point. Don't get me wrong, they may stay in the mix just due to how sorry the AL Central is. They however will be no factor when it comes to October.
Moises Alou award for nastiest injury
That would be Buster Posey. That may actually be the winner for the next five years.
Tanyon Sturtze/Scott Proctor Award for Yankee reliever who's arm may fall off by August
This year David Robertson gets that distinction. A huge mistake by the way. Robertson has a rare ability to strike out hitters without throwing 95, he's young, and by all accounts is a very good teammate. When you look at him though, he's a tiny dude, and pitching as much as he does is a recipe for disaster with his arm. I predict either or major injury, or a major decline in performance by the end of the summer.
Curt Schilling award for Red Sock that I hate the most
That may be another reason I wasn't as excited about this season-there aren't really Red Sox that I hate this year. Look, you can sign Varitek and Youk up for this award every year, but that's nothing new. Neither stand out anymore. This version of the Sox is kind of boring, like those lifeless mid 2000's Yankee teams. There's no characters or people who pop off. It's actually quite disappointing.
Stay tuned for Part 2...
I've been so into the NBA this year, that baseball has taken a backseat thus far. Maybe like how Kobe's older in basketball years than his real age because of how many playoff games he's played in, than a similar principle is true for me as a baseball fan-I've watched about twice as much baseball as a non Yankee fan because of all the post-season games I've watched since 1995. Going into spring training I just wasn't as into it like I normally am. The NBA took most of my attention, and quite frankly I wasn't (and still am not) in love with the Yankees roster. I just don't understand how they saw the writing on the wall with a lot of their older players and did nothing about it. More importantly, I'm not sure how you have unlimited resources at your disposal and come out with that rotation. I guess those factors made me neglect a sport that I religiously follow. It seems almost blasphemous that I haven't truly written a baseball column yet. On the heels of me watching that debacle in Chicago (and perhaps hating the NBA now if Miami wins), I thought it was a good time to introduce the Manual Buzzer's first Annual Slammy Awards presented by Johnson and Johnson's Baby Wipes. Without further ado:
Bobby Crosby Award for the most hyped young player who hasn't and probably wont accomplish jack
Hate to say it, but our very own fat toad Phil Hughes. This guy was once the number one minor league prospect in all of baseball. In a career that is now into roughly it's fifth season, Phil has essentially had two productive stretches in his entire career. One of them was as a setup guy. Two things are abundantly clear to me. One is that he will never stay healthy for consecutive seasons. Two, the seasons that he does stay healthy all year, he will be worn out come playoff time. The two years that he actually did pitch the whole year, he looked like he was going to throw up he was so fatigued by October.
I'm not saying that he can't be a fourth of fifth starter for the Yankees someday (but expect a minimum of ten starts a year missed on the DL), but he never will be an ace or a game changing pitcher for the Yankees.
Lou Piniella in Tampa Bay award for manger who looks the most like they get blackout drunk after or possibly during the game
A tie between Eric Wedge, and Ron Washington. There's not even anyone else in their stratosphere's. As I mentioned once to dannymac, can you imagine what it's like when Josh Hamilton and Ron Washington are on the road together. What are the odds that they "stay back at the hotel" when the rest of the teams and coaches go out together, as they call up some local merchants. As for Wedge, he has the same demeanor and look as Quint from Jaws, which makes you categorically eligible for this award.
October 2006 Kenny Rogers award for best random performance by a washed up player who was 99.99999% likely to have been aided by steroids
To our boy "The Giambino" for going yard three times a couple weeks back for the Colorado Rockies. I couldn't have put it any better than the text Big Mark sent me that night. " Giambino hit three dingers tonight. I didn't even know he was still in the league." Yep, that must have been a pretty good batch to wake up that dusty hasbeen.
Derek Bell "Operation Shutdown" award for the player who is giving the least effort this year
This award became wide open once Uncle Manny hung em up. There's a lot of ways I could go here, but I'm going to have to go with Milton Bradley. I understand a guy can have anger management issues and have trouble getting them under control, but when it gets to the point where you know that you are on your way out of the league because of this fact, than I actually have to question how much you want it. It's ridiculous to think that anybody could have that much trouble getting themselves under control, and not be a psychopathic serial rapist or something. I think Milton has made his money in the game, and he's just trying to get himself thrown out so he doesn't have to play.
David Ortiz award for player obviously using steroids that nobody realized as it was happening
Derek Jeter
2007 Baltimore Orioles award for team that will fade after memorial day
This is an easy one. The tribe. Their young pitchers are not nearly talented enough to hold up over 162 games. Watching them lose two out of three to the socks when they could have made a statement just confirmed that point. Don't get me wrong, they may stay in the mix just due to how sorry the AL Central is. They however will be no factor when it comes to October.
Moises Alou award for nastiest injury
That would be Buster Posey. That may actually be the winner for the next five years.
Tanyon Sturtze/Scott Proctor Award for Yankee reliever who's arm may fall off by August
This year David Robertson gets that distinction. A huge mistake by the way. Robertson has a rare ability to strike out hitters without throwing 95, he's young, and by all accounts is a very good teammate. When you look at him though, he's a tiny dude, and pitching as much as he does is a recipe for disaster with his arm. I predict either or major injury, or a major decline in performance by the end of the summer.
Curt Schilling award for Red Sock that I hate the most
That may be another reason I wasn't as excited about this season-there aren't really Red Sox that I hate this year. Look, you can sign Varitek and Youk up for this award every year, but that's nothing new. Neither stand out anymore. This version of the Sox is kind of boring, like those lifeless mid 2000's Yankee teams. There's no characters or people who pop off. It's actually quite disappointing.
Stay tuned for Part 2...
May 16, 2011
Rewind
Unfortunately last week I typed an entire piece on LeBron, as well as other NBA stories, and apparently the site was under repair, so one of the longer pieces I've ever written was exiled to cyber space-never to return again. It will live on in my mind with other great accomplishments of mine that only I witnessed, along with the summer I watched every Mike and the Mad Dog from June through the first week of September (I was 14 and single at the time shockingly), and my junior year of orchestra when I was the only who knew that I didn't play a single note the entire year. Nevertheless we march forward.
Watching the Bulls bully the Heat last night was refreshing for any Heat antagonist, after watching Wade and friends steamroll opponents for the first two rounds of the playoffs. "Little boy" as dannymac calls him Chris Bosh, turned in a decent performance offensively, but was also part of the problem for the Heat, as he lead a front court that allowed seventeen offensive rebounds to the Bulls... by the end of the third quarter! The Bulls front line are going to give the Heat headaches the entire series. It got me thinking that the Heat should have complimented Wade and LeBron differently this summer, and subsequently that made me think of the larger picture. There are a lot of teams that would like to have played the Free Agent Summer of 2010 bonanza differently looking back. Excluding Wade and LeBron, because obviously every team would take both of them if they had the chance, it's interesting to look at what the big players from last summer would do different if they had a mulligan, and working under the premise that every free agent except LeBron and Wade are available to make an offer to.
Watching the Bulls bully the Heat last night was refreshing for any Heat antagonist, after watching Wade and friends steamroll opponents for the first two rounds of the playoffs. "Little boy" as dannymac calls him Chris Bosh, turned in a decent performance offensively, but was also part of the problem for the Heat, as he lead a front court that allowed seventeen offensive rebounds to the Bulls... by the end of the third quarter! The Bulls front line are going to give the Heat headaches the entire series. It got me thinking that the Heat should have complimented Wade and LeBron differently this summer, and subsequently that made me think of the larger picture. There are a lot of teams that would like to have played the Free Agent Summer of 2010 bonanza differently looking back. Excluding Wade and LeBron, because obviously every team would take both of them if they had the chance, it's interesting to look at what the big players from last summer would do different if they had a mulligan, and working under the premise that every free agent except LeBron and Wade are available to make an offer to.
Atlanta Hawks
The Hawks for whatever reason played the Bulls well the entire season. Sometimes in basketball a team is the right matchup for you. The problem with the Hawks is that in a series where the opponent played poor, and the Hawks stole game one on the road...it was still nothing more than a ho hum six game series. That's what this Hawks ceiling is-giving a second round opponent a tough series.
The biggest problem the Hawks have is that they are stuck with this team for the next five years. Why? Because they gave their third most important player the largest contract in the history of the NBA. That's right, MR. Personality himself Joe "I even bore my parents" Johnson, has given the Hawks two options:
1. Keep the team as it is since all their money is tied up-and get bounced in the first or second round for the next five years. Or...
2. Trade their most valuable player-Josh Smith-for cap flexibility, but again, that would involve trading one of three players in the league who could ever get you a quadruple double (by my estimation the other two are Chris Paul with points, rebounds, assists, and steals-and Dwight Howard with points, rebounds, blocks, and ignored illegitimate children) on their best night.
Looking back, the Hawks would have been better off letting Joe walk away. Jamal Crawford could have started and replaced most of Joe's offense anyways. They could have spent half of the money that they spent on Johnson, and made their team into a defensive juggernaut for the next couple of years, by signing Tony Allen, and making their team impossible to score against with the weak side shot-blocking of Smith and Horford. The offense would have been enough for now, as we've seen Jeff Teague will be a good pro. The ironic thing is that the Hawks give the ball to Crawford, not Johnson at the end of all close games anyway. Letting Joe walk would have given them so much flexibility for when a more dynamic game changing player became available. Then they can finally do us all a favor and dump Starvin Marvin's carcass at Fulton County Stadium next to Ironman Haywood and that rocking lunatic Leo Mazzone.
Celtics
Lost in the nonsense and excuse-making of losing Kendrick Perkins, was the fact that the Celtics had to decide on Paul Pierce and Ray Allen's future last year. One day were going to look back on this Celtics team, and look at them like the 04 Pistons. A team that acted like they were a dynasty by their attitude and the way the media portrays them. In reality they are a really good but flawed team that won a title and came close to another. Now, it looks as though the Celtics are locked into an aging, flawed lineup for the next three years. Throw in the fact that apparently grown men stop playing as hard when someone gets traded-as happened in the Perkins trade-and honestly this roster is an aging mess. What could they have done this summer?
I say that as much back lash as it would have caused, you had to let at least one of the two in the Pierce/Allen duo walk. If it were me, I would have let Pierce and Allen go. Look I understand what a great player Pierce has been. However, if you are looking at the franchise, it's obvious that Rondo is their best, and only young talent, so the future is about building around him. The reality is that Pierce and Rondo aren't a great long term match. Both want the ball all the time. The problem is that for the first forty two minutes of a game Rondo has the ball when Pierce wants in, and that flips in the last six minutes. It's become/becoming a problem. As for Ray, I'm a HUGE fan, but you can replace a shooter-obviously not of his caliber-at a huge discount.
I would have built around Rondo, and the front line of Perkins and Garnett. The next question is what do they do with that money? I would matched Memphis' offer and signed Rudy. Basically he's a more athletic, slightly less gritty version of Pierce, and also about 25 years younger. When Garnett came off the books at the end of next season, the Celtics would have had loads of cap room (thanks to Rondo's friendly contract) to build around Rondo, Gay, and Perkins. Instead the Celtic fans will watch Rajon Rondo and the Disabled 3 get picked apart by anybody who can slash for the next two or three years. Have fun.
Chicago Bulls
As the Bulls destroyed the Heat by essentially pushing them around, something stood out to me. Carlos Boozer was the one person who didn't seem like he was that tough. He wasn't pushing anyone around, or more athletic than the Heat's front line. I was blown away by Noah's second and third attempts at rebounds. I was blown away by everything about Taj Gibson, and even that big dork from Turkey. Just not Boozer.
If the Bulls had a rewind button, they never would sign Boozer. They already have Gibson, who is emerging as one of the most electric players in the NBA. Someone who defensively can guard every position, and who has range on his jumpshot out to fifteen feet. Boozer out of the way would mean more playing time for Gibson, which as we've seen, is a very very good thing. the player you sign instead? Joe Johnson.
Ignore the fact that I just bashed him. That was me bashing him as a number one option for a great team. If you pit Rose and Johnson's shooting together, that would be the best backcourt in the NBA by a mile, which would also happen to be playing with the best defensive frontcourt. Remember, Chicago had the cap space to sign Wade and James this last summer. Signing one max free agent would still leave cap space to make moves. Having an additional play maker to compliment Rose would take the pressure off of everybody, and to me assured a dynasty in Chicago. Of all the scenarios, that one may be the most fun to think about.
Miami Heat
Quite simply, they wouldn't have signed any of the players they have except for Wade and James. the max money that they gave to Chris Bosh, as well as Mike Miller & Co. could have paid for some pretty good players, who would compliment James and Wade better. Believe it or not, I would keep Joel Anthony as the starting center, he is a beast at protecting the rim.
I would have signed the following players to support the Big 2: Luis Scola, Anthony Morrow, Ronnie Brewer. For about half of the money they paid Bosh and the rest of the little boys, they could have had these players who would have upgraded their defense, shooting, and to me at least, Scola is 85% the offensive player that Bosh is anyways. Brewer would have been able to guard opposing quick guards, and Morrow would have given James Jones a partner in one trick pony crime. Instead Miami is locked into a player that admitted he was scared in game three of f second round series. At least Scola would provide a token fat guy.
Oklahoma City Thunder
I would have made one simple move. Give Ray Allen an offer he can't resist. Just imagine the looks he would have playing with Durantula and Westbrook. Allen on OKC and Joe Johnson on the Bulls would have made the Finals epic. OKC has Sefolosha so they're good...
Knicks and Nets
Believe it or not, both teams did exactly what they had to do. Neither team panicked when they lost out on LeBron and Wade. Both teams are incomplete but on the right track, and we will see. this summer and next are huge for both of them. It will be fascinating to see which one gets Howard, and who gets Paul. For once though, my Knicks did something right.
May 11, 2011
Teasa
What to do with the Lakers going forward?
Do the Mavs have the chops to continue their run?
What member of the 03 Orange title team did I see at a Chinese Restaraunt by the bus station in Downtown Syracuse???
Do the Mavs have the chops to continue their run?
What member of the 03 Orange title team did I see at a Chinese Restaraunt by the bus station in Downtown Syracuse???
You'll never guess who...stay tuned...
May 4, 2011
On record Buzzer predictions
Here are the predictions that we all made in writing so we can determine the biggest NBA G
Client 9: Heat beat Celtics in 7, Bulls kill Hawks, Grizzlies over Thunder, LAkers in 5
HEat beat Bulls in epic, Lakers over Grizz
LAkers over HEat in 7
DannyMacintosh: Heat in 6, Bulls kill Hawks, Grizzlies beat Thunder, Lakers in 5
Heat over Bulls, LAkers over Grizz
Lakers over Heat in seven as NBA makes refs rig a seven game series...and Chris BOsh plays like "a little boy"
Pappy: Celtics in 6, Bulls in six or seven, Grizzlies over Thunder, Lakers in 5
Bulls over Celtics, Lakes over Grizz
LAkers over Bulls as Phil goes to Montana
Steviedep: Heat in 5 or 6 but probably 5, Bulls in seven, Thunder in 7, Lakers in 6
Heat over Bulls in 5, Thunder over Lakers in 6
HEat over Thunder in 5-as I puke to myself
May 3, 2011
NBA Playoffs First Round Podcast, Part 2
Part 2 is here. Click to listen in your browser, or right-click (Mac: ctrl+click) to download
Again, the track comes from the Buzzer's Client 9 featuring Mwelwa, "La Famiglia" (give him some listens at http://www.myspace.com/client9music)
NBA Playoffs First Round Podcast, Part 1
Ladies and gentlemen, click this link that says THIS LINK to listen to a podcast featuring myself, MacIntosh, Steve, and Client 9. We discuss the Grizzlies, Z-Bounds and Marc Gasol's pronounciation of the term, Andre Agassi's wigs and other minutiae.
THIS LINK Click to listen in your browser, or right-click (Mac: ctrl+click) to download
The song is our own Client 9's "Can't Touch Me." Check him out here: http://www.myspace.com/client9music
Apr 29, 2011
Playoff Blog
Thoughts from a Wizard
Dirk Nowitzki gets better with time
I never thought I would ever say anything positive about this David Haselhoff groupie, but his play has left me no choice. Over the years people have been fair to call him soft. The 07 playoffs against the Warriors was not his best, as he struggled against an eight seed as that season's MVP of the league. People won't let him forget that a team that he led was up 13 with eight minutes left in a game that would have put his team up 3-0 in the finals-and lost the game...and series eventually. We think about the Mavs teams of the early 2000's with Ulysses S.Nash as the starting point guard spot, and that a team with those two great weapons never did anything in the playoffs.
I wont make excuses for the poor play in some of those situations for Dirk, but we can put those moments in context. In 07 I'm not sure how many teams if any would have beaten that Warriors team in the first round the way they played. I thought the series had a lot more to do with Golden State winning than it did with the Mavs losing. The Warriors played out of their minds confident basketball, and the electricity of their home crowd made the OKC crowds of this years playoffs seem like a Nets home game in January. People will forget that the Warriors would actually have won that series in 5 games had Dirk not been nothing short of spectacular at the end of that game to save the Mavs. The Miami series was certainly another case for Dirk's "soft" label. However, most would agree that no series since the 2002 Lakers Kings series has been as poorly officiated. Unfortunately it was atrocious in favor of the Heat. Two games were so blatantly officiated in the Heat's favor, that I truly considered not watching game six of those finals-what was the point? As for the rest of Dirks playoff failures, I maintain that he's never had any help.
Name the best interior player he's played with. Go ahead. This may sound crazy (and also a blatant blond haired/mustached pairing) but give Dirk Larry Bird's roster, and vice versa and we may be looking at something that would change the way that we list the all-time greats. The name of the game in basketball is protecting the rim, rebounding, and getting easy buckets in the half court. Larry Legend happened to play with perhaps the all time best front court, while Dirk has played with Shawn Bradley, Eric Dampier, DeSagna Diop, Tyson Chandler, Chris Washburn, Bartolo Colon, and John Candy. Having an outstanding supporting cast gives you the opportunity to be one of the all time greats, and showcase your skills when everyone is watching in June, instead of only diehards in April. That's why Kobe is suddenly a top seven player ever with his cast, and Chris Paul may never crack the top 50, and Dirk may never crack the top ten.
The last few years Dirk has taken the criticism that he's soft, and actually developed into a pretty tough player. Aside from being without debate the most skilled big ever, he now is tough and a clutch performer. Last night when the Blazers had it rolling at home, and some scrub from the Blazers bench gave him a cheap shot, he responded by taking the game over, and leading his team to a road series clinching win in a hostile environment (including finishing the game 8/8 at the line in the final minute). Old Dirk would have let that psyche him out and folded. I've got to give him props for continuing to lead an old mediocre team to success. I've got to give him credit as his teams get consistently screwed by the officials because the rest of the league hates Mark Cuban (seriously-look up the numbers and tell me how Joey Crawford is still consistently assigned to Mavericks games-it's absurd), and he takes it in stride and never complains. For once I want to give Dirk some love, because he's earned it.
Terrible End of Game Coaching
I want to start this rant by saying that I think Lionel Hollins has done an outstanding job coaching the Grizzlies. Now I will bash him, and all coaches who think like him.
For all you coaches out there who are up three at the end of a game and don't foul-you are a disgrace to your job. I've just had enough. There's no reason that the Grizzlies shouldn't be preparing for a game one against the Thunder, instead of a game six against the Spurs. What a pathetic cop out to blame the players for not guarding the three point line well enough. They probably could have been a bit further out, but Gary Neal hit a double teamed fading three from thirty feet that the defenders forced him into. These are N-B-A players though, they all can hit tough shots that are defended well. You can't leave it to chance that a pro will make a great play, and just try and play tight defense at the end of a game.
I can name a lot of big games in the last few years where teams down three with a couple seconds left have tied the game on a three. How about somebody out there name a game, playoff or regular season where the opposing team tied it up down three when they've been fouled? The odds are so low that every part of that equation will go right that you almost never see it?
So what is the argument coaches make against fouling up three? Rubbish.
It's that you never want to go from a situation where you take the situation from worse case scenario tie-to worse case scenario that you lose. This may be the most insane argument I've heard in my life. Let's walk through what it would take for that to happen. The team down three would be fouled with somewhere in the ball park of 2-6 seconds left. That player would first have to make the first free throw-no guarantee at all. The next step is having the shooter miss the second free throw purposely and perfectly. No easy task, how many times have we seen the shooter by mistake make the second free throw, or throw it off the back board without hitting rim, both of which end the situation. We will assume that the shooter misses. The ball has to get a lucky bounce AND one of the three big men you've put in the game to get the rebound has to ta the rebound. That miracle tap on the miracle perfect miss would then have to go to the maybe two people on the floor who can shoot threes (remember you've put all your big in to get the rebound). That person must then catch the ball, be behind the line, and take what will more than likely be a rushed contested three as time is running down and your momentum takes you away from the basket (because you've had to sprint to the three point line with time running down) and make the shot. There's a reason you probably can't come up with a single game that this has ever happened-because it's nearly impossible to do. Using the logic that it's possible to lose is like not eating your lunch today because a plane could crash into you while you're eating. Yea it could happen, but it never will.
If the Grizzlies go on to lose this series,theycan point to this idiotic end of game strategy that their coach, along with others use. I bet Pop would have fouled.
Quick hits
-I bet Stan Van gets unfairly fired in the off-season. The truth is that Dwight doesn't take the game serious, and his supporting cast are all hasbeens as it turns out. To let that Hawks team beat you in a seven game series is pathetic, and the Magic will use poor Stan as a scapegoat.
-The Bulls will struggle with the Hawks and the series will go six or seven, but the Bulls will ultimately prevail, as Boozer has to do something eventually-right?
-Despite Dirk's great play, the Lakeshow will steamroll the Mavs like one of my steamy poop logs cutting through the water
-Russell Westbrook needs to stop whining because a point guard never should take 30 shots in a game unless he's totally unconscious. If he grows up they will handle Memphis or San Antonio in six.
-Grizzlies will survive their late game blunder, and drum the Spurs tonight.
Until next time kiddies
Dirk Nowitzki gets better with time
I never thought I would ever say anything positive about this David Haselhoff groupie, but his play has left me no choice. Over the years people have been fair to call him soft. The 07 playoffs against the Warriors was not his best, as he struggled against an eight seed as that season's MVP of the league. People won't let him forget that a team that he led was up 13 with eight minutes left in a game that would have put his team up 3-0 in the finals-and lost the game...and series eventually. We think about the Mavs teams of the early 2000's with Ulysses S.Nash as the starting point guard spot, and that a team with those two great weapons never did anything in the playoffs.
I wont make excuses for the poor play in some of those situations for Dirk, but we can put those moments in context. In 07 I'm not sure how many teams if any would have beaten that Warriors team in the first round the way they played. I thought the series had a lot more to do with Golden State winning than it did with the Mavs losing. The Warriors played out of their minds confident basketball, and the electricity of their home crowd made the OKC crowds of this years playoffs seem like a Nets home game in January. People will forget that the Warriors would actually have won that series in 5 games had Dirk not been nothing short of spectacular at the end of that game to save the Mavs. The Miami series was certainly another case for Dirk's "soft" label. However, most would agree that no series since the 2002 Lakers Kings series has been as poorly officiated. Unfortunately it was atrocious in favor of the Heat. Two games were so blatantly officiated in the Heat's favor, that I truly considered not watching game six of those finals-what was the point? As for the rest of Dirks playoff failures, I maintain that he's never had any help.
Name the best interior player he's played with. Go ahead. This may sound crazy (and also a blatant blond haired/mustached pairing) but give Dirk Larry Bird's roster, and vice versa and we may be looking at something that would change the way that we list the all-time greats. The name of the game in basketball is protecting the rim, rebounding, and getting easy buckets in the half court. Larry Legend happened to play with perhaps the all time best front court, while Dirk has played with Shawn Bradley, Eric Dampier, DeSagna Diop, Tyson Chandler, Chris Washburn, Bartolo Colon, and John Candy. Having an outstanding supporting cast gives you the opportunity to be one of the all time greats, and showcase your skills when everyone is watching in June, instead of only diehards in April. That's why Kobe is suddenly a top seven player ever with his cast, and Chris Paul may never crack the top 50, and Dirk may never crack the top ten.
The last few years Dirk has taken the criticism that he's soft, and actually developed into a pretty tough player. Aside from being without debate the most skilled big ever, he now is tough and a clutch performer. Last night when the Blazers had it rolling at home, and some scrub from the Blazers bench gave him a cheap shot, he responded by taking the game over, and leading his team to a road series clinching win in a hostile environment (including finishing the game 8/8 at the line in the final minute). Old Dirk would have let that psyche him out and folded. I've got to give him props for continuing to lead an old mediocre team to success. I've got to give him credit as his teams get consistently screwed by the officials because the rest of the league hates Mark Cuban (seriously-look up the numbers and tell me how Joey Crawford is still consistently assigned to Mavericks games-it's absurd), and he takes it in stride and never complains. For once I want to give Dirk some love, because he's earned it.
Terrible End of Game Coaching
I want to start this rant by saying that I think Lionel Hollins has done an outstanding job coaching the Grizzlies. Now I will bash him, and all coaches who think like him.
For all you coaches out there who are up three at the end of a game and don't foul-you are a disgrace to your job. I've just had enough. There's no reason that the Grizzlies shouldn't be preparing for a game one against the Thunder, instead of a game six against the Spurs. What a pathetic cop out to blame the players for not guarding the three point line well enough. They probably could have been a bit further out, but Gary Neal hit a double teamed fading three from thirty feet that the defenders forced him into. These are N-B-A players though, they all can hit tough shots that are defended well. You can't leave it to chance that a pro will make a great play, and just try and play tight defense at the end of a game.
I can name a lot of big games in the last few years where teams down three with a couple seconds left have tied the game on a three. How about somebody out there name a game, playoff or regular season where the opposing team tied it up down three when they've been fouled? The odds are so low that every part of that equation will go right that you almost never see it?
So what is the argument coaches make against fouling up three? Rubbish.
It's that you never want to go from a situation where you take the situation from worse case scenario tie-to worse case scenario that you lose. This may be the most insane argument I've heard in my life. Let's walk through what it would take for that to happen. The team down three would be fouled with somewhere in the ball park of 2-6 seconds left. That player would first have to make the first free throw-no guarantee at all. The next step is having the shooter miss the second free throw purposely and perfectly. No easy task, how many times have we seen the shooter by mistake make the second free throw, or throw it off the back board without hitting rim, both of which end the situation. We will assume that the shooter misses. The ball has to get a lucky bounce AND one of the three big men you've put in the game to get the rebound has to ta the rebound. That miracle tap on the miracle perfect miss would then have to go to the maybe two people on the floor who can shoot threes (remember you've put all your big in to get the rebound). That person must then catch the ball, be behind the line, and take what will more than likely be a rushed contested three as time is running down and your momentum takes you away from the basket (because you've had to sprint to the three point line with time running down) and make the shot. There's a reason you probably can't come up with a single game that this has ever happened-because it's nearly impossible to do. Using the logic that it's possible to lose is like not eating your lunch today because a plane could crash into you while you're eating. Yea it could happen, but it never will.
If the Grizzlies go on to lose this series,theycan point to this idiotic end of game strategy that their coach, along with others use. I bet Pop would have fouled.
Quick hits
-I bet Stan Van gets unfairly fired in the off-season. The truth is that Dwight doesn't take the game serious, and his supporting cast are all hasbeens as it turns out. To let that Hawks team beat you in a seven game series is pathetic, and the Magic will use poor Stan as a scapegoat.
-The Bulls will struggle with the Hawks and the series will go six or seven, but the Bulls will ultimately prevail, as Boozer has to do something eventually-right?
-Despite Dirk's great play, the Lakeshow will steamroll the Mavs like one of my steamy poop logs cutting through the water
-Russell Westbrook needs to stop whining because a point guard never should take 30 shots in a game unless he's totally unconscious. If he grows up they will handle Memphis or San Antonio in six.
-Grizzlies will survive their late game blunder, and drum the Spurs tonight.
Until next time kiddies
Apr 27, 2011
NBA Playoff Blog
Honestly I could write an entire piece on Clam Newton, but we'll save that. I'm trying to make a half-hearted effort at a nightly NBA Playoffs blog. Since tonight is the virgin voyage, I'll include action from all of round one. Like Dannymac I'm lazy, so most of my points will be in bullet/hyphen points.
-Chris Paul is a monster
Take a quick moment and compare the two rosters of the Hornets and Lakers. When it's an argument between Carl Landry and Trevor Ariza for New Orleans number two option, it's a miracle you've even made the playoffs. Now consider that neither one of those players wouldn't even crack the Lakers rotation, and that's no joke.
You can't say that it's coaching because well, PHIL JACKSON is on the opposing bench. That leaves only one factor...Chris Paul. The amazing part is that watching him play, he's at least a step slower after his knee injury from last year. He's masterfully adjusted from being the quickest player in the world, to just quick, and hasn't missed a beat. Nobody plays as complete a game as Chris, and nobody plays with such garbage.
The fact that this is a competitive series is just unreal, and a tribute to Paul. After watching game five, the LAkers will win this series, they are just about as far on the other end of the talent spectrum as you can be, but kudos to Paul and Monty Williams for a masterful job.
-The Grizllies would have had a legit title shot with Rudolph Gay
I'm trying to be objective and not overreact to a good stretch of games, but Memphis is for real. They play with an edge that you only see among title contenders (07 Warriors being the other low seed with that swag), they really think they're better than higher seeded teams. Call me crazy, but based on their defense and great complement of big men (that statement would have produced bursts of laughter three years ago when talkng about Zebo and Pau's brother), I would put the current Grizzzlies as the third best team in the West behind LA and OKC. I watched a lot of their games this year, and Memphis played both of those teams well. If Memphis had Rudy Gay, they really could have contended...I mean it. For now I see them losing a six or seven game series to OKC, but they will give OKC a scare.
-Can't wait for Celtics Heat
For all the bozos who bash the current NBA, this series makes you look dumb. What more could you ask for. Factors that will determine this series
-Chris Paul is a monster
Take a quick moment and compare the two rosters of the Hornets and Lakers. When it's an argument between Carl Landry and Trevor Ariza for New Orleans number two option, it's a miracle you've even made the playoffs. Now consider that neither one of those players wouldn't even crack the Lakers rotation, and that's no joke.
You can't say that it's coaching because well, PHIL JACKSON is on the opposing bench. That leaves only one factor...Chris Paul. The amazing part is that watching him play, he's at least a step slower after his knee injury from last year. He's masterfully adjusted from being the quickest player in the world, to just quick, and hasn't missed a beat. Nobody plays as complete a game as Chris, and nobody plays with such garbage.
The fact that this is a competitive series is just unreal, and a tribute to Paul. After watching game five, the LAkers will win this series, they are just about as far on the other end of the talent spectrum as you can be, but kudos to Paul and Monty Williams for a masterful job.
-The Grizllies would have had a legit title shot with Rudolph Gay
I'm trying to be objective and not overreact to a good stretch of games, but Memphis is for real. They play with an edge that you only see among title contenders (07 Warriors being the other low seed with that swag), they really think they're better than higher seeded teams. Call me crazy, but based on their defense and great complement of big men (that statement would have produced bursts of laughter three years ago when talkng about Zebo and Pau's brother), I would put the current Grizzzlies as the third best team in the West behind LA and OKC. I watched a lot of their games this year, and Memphis played both of those teams well. If Memphis had Rudy Gay, they really could have contended...I mean it. For now I see them losing a six or seven game series to OKC, but they will give OKC a scare.
-Can't wait for Celtics Heat
For all the bozos who bash the current NBA, this series makes you look dumb. What more could you ask for. Factors that will determine this series
Game 1
I think the winner of this game sets the tone, and wins the series. The Celtics need to show that their series against New York wasn't a fluke. The Heat need to prove they can beat a contender when it counts. Based on the way both seasons went, Miami will either gain tons or lose more confidence depending on Game 1
The R's
At this point you can pencil in a 15 and 9 average for KG,and 20, 5, and 4 from Pierce. It's Rondo and Rayray that are the barometer of this Celtics team. If Rondo gets steals and pushes the ball for Allen's threes, the Celtics will cruise
End of Game Situations
What will the HEat do down one with seven seconds left. To win you go to Wade, but they wont,so what will LEBron do?
Prediction: Rrrrrrrrrr...Heat in 6. Rats
-Quick hits
-Orlando v Hawks...who cares but Atlanta in six
-Rooting for RIPcity in game 6, and 7. Maybe it will inspire Cuban to get Dirk teammates. Can anyone tell me the difference between these Maverick bums Dirk has carried and LeBron's Cavs teams? Anybody? Yet only LEbron complained....Nevertheless Dallas in seven
-Bulls sweep next series
-LAkers in six
-Grizz in six
-HEat in five
-Pappy skypes through three of the next four elimination games
I'm out!
Apr 22, 2011
Checkout Time for New York and Denver
I guess you can call it a Renaissance, but like the one that took place in Europe, it still has its occasional drawbacks. Basketball in New York is a different beast. I've played in LA and Philly and Syracuse as well, and while each city has a different style, there is a swag and intensity to playing in New York where the game is worshipped like the rock those natives worship the Sivalinga stone in Temple of Doom. They love the Jets and the Giants, but basketball runs through their veins in a city that so lacks greenery and has a plethora of concrete.
It was with great sadness that I watched the Knicks get railed tonight by the hot-shooting Celtics. One would assume, after coming within a possession that was ruined by too much selfishness and altruism in games 1 and 2, respectively, that the Knicks would rally back and make up a game or two with the C's at home. But that seemed to be lost on the Knicks. Paul Pierce and Ray-Ray shot the crowd out of the game immediately.
Right before the season began, I had the pleasure of winning some sick seats to the Knicks' open practice at the Garden through Amar'e's VIP club (the answer to the trivia question was Frederic Weis). Watching the team go through drills was exciting: this looked like a team that would make noise. I discussed our runs at the JCC with Andy Rautins. After telling Bill Walker about how he indirectly introduced me to Gang Starr through this highlight video
he told me about how Guru was killed by the Illuminati, of which Jay-Z he purported to be a member.
And early in the year they did: they went 9-7 and 8-5 in November and December, respectively, and ended the calendar year above .500 for the first time since 2004-05.
And they weren't too bad after January 1st either. People forget that they took one from the Heat in the Garden on January 27 exactly one month before Melo arrived and gave them that thriller in Miami. Both were excellent efforts from the 'Bockers, but there was a stark difference between the two teams. The balance next to Amar'e would've probably worked out better in terms of wins at the end of the season. I'm sure Donnie Walsh will reload during the summer (if the lockout doesn't prevent free agency first) and make them a better team in '11-'12, but for now, putting Jared Jeffries on the floor during crunch time is not going to solve anything.
While there may be too much star power in Amar'e and Melo for one ball to be shared, Denver's struggles in Oklahoma City could be diagnosed at the other end of the spectrum. Denver runs a legitimate 10 deep, a luxury very few NBA teams afford. Even the Lakers, considered the class of the NBA, have only three big men and can only go nine deep. Denver can put in a Carolina blue team, a lineup that can completely change the pace. Their new leading scorer following Melo's departure, JR Smith, is a part of this unit. So is the beloved Bird Man, Chris Anderson.
To the dismay of many former Sonics fans, the Thunder closed out the series on Wednesday night. And if you were cheering for the Thunder, you might like Durant and Westbrook (I'm also partial to Serge), or you're from Oklahoma. These Nuggets were coming from a point you don't usually see in the Playoffs, lacking any sort of All-Star and no true go-to guy. Durant showed that he is going to be a huge part of this league's future, and as Sir Charles pointed out, "you need THAT dude." The Nuggets lost him in that trade to New York. Sure, JR loves to gun, but Durant blocked his try from 3. Arron Afflalo was unsuccessful on the final shot, and THAT dude
My hypothetical is this: What if they hadn't gone to these extremes, the Miami paradigm in New York, and early 2000's Dallas in Denver (Dirk and Nash and Michael Finley didn't really understand that they needed to step up yet), and kept going with a star surrounded by a complementary supporting cast, would the playoff results have not been so embarrassing?
In New York, Chauncey makes a big 3, but he's old. His injury in the playoffs took away their best 3-point threat and a lot of experience. His extension is only there to fill space until Chris Paul becomes a free agent after next year. They gave up a lot to get Billups, Melo, and Renaldo Balkman wearing a bowtie on the bench. Giving up a bright future of Raymond Felton, who showed that signing was no fluke and proved a competent complement to Amar'e in the pick and roll, Danilo Gallinari and Wilson Chandler, who were also coming into their own as complements to Amar'e. Now that is stripped down, with Toney Douglas, Landry Fields, and Shawne Williams remaining, which is nowhere near enough to complement Melo and Stat on offense or defense. Add the free agent signing of Jared Jeffries to the mix, who somehow put Melo's bitchslap behind him, and you have a mess. At least Miami's players filled roles. None of these guys can do anything really well. They're all great players, but this isn't a college team. The NBA demands specialists. Miami overcame this issue with guys like James Jones and Eddie House to shoot 3's and Mike Bibby and Mario Chalmers (no relation to the author) to take some ballhandling duties from LeBron and Wade and also wait for open 3's. Of course, Joel Anthony and Damp are there to hack dudes and block shots. Turiaf fills that last role, and Roger Mason, if he ever actually got time could be that shooter, but he never played this year (I guess he only worked for Popovich, somehow). Otherwise, these guys are there to do everything else. The definite roles among the supporting cast would be good for the Knicks next year.
Free agency will have Roger Mason, Shawne Williams, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter, and Jared Jeffries be unrestricted free agents. Donnie Walsh should probably let everyone of these guys besides Shawne walk away, as the rest of this group were ineffective during their tenures with the Knicks and I wouldn't say there is any sort of hope of them making future contributions. Then again, Mason seemed to never have a chance, getting into only 26 games, with only 4 games of over 20 minutes of playing time. The most came in the last game of the season, where he took 31 minutes as D'Antoni rested his starters.
The Knicks are screwed in terms of their drafting capabilities, with no first round picks in 2011. Luckily, they'll finally pick in the first round in 2012, their last being Houston's Jordan Hill in 2009, who barely played during his time in New York.
Denver, on the other hand, has great prospects going forward even with this ridiculous balance. They'll probably keep JR Smith and probably let Kenyon go while going after a complementary 4 in the draft. Nene will be kept around, and an offer to Afflalo will definitely be matched. Chandler's fade at the end of the contract year was not helpful for himself, and I expect him to stay with the Nuggets without the raise he would've had if he had kept up the pace from earlier in the year. But will they get THAT dude? Could Afflalo and JR step up next year to both fill this role?
While the sea changes each of these teams made got them into the playoffs, their styles and lack of chemistry due to the shorter time together, ended up hurting them in the repeated encounters of playoff series. Both teams have the chance to build on their experiences: the Nuggets will probably look to add a 4 to replace Martin in the draft, as the success of their system could be even greater with a full season together. The Knicks will try to add role players but maintain the cap space to get Chris Paul a max deal next summer. Knicks fans will be pleasantly surprised by Donnie Walsh's efforts. (Maybe even James Dolan will stop thinking about hiring Isiah again. I wouldn't call him a friend to the public after what he did to this team.) Expect an appearance in at least the second round, and then expect Chris Paul to be delivered to their doorstep.
Look out for the Playoffs podcast coming out either Sunday or Monday. A lot of awesome things will be discussed.
Springtime, the only little thing time
ou don't necessarly have to have played on a school team to understand and truly love a sport. As Dannymac, and Pappy can attest, pickup games in whatever sport can produce some of the most unforgettable moments of your life. If Dannymac can call us the Big 3 of the buzzer, than almost surely I can call the three of us the Lakers of pickup basketball. Obiously I would be the Mamba (slightly past my pickup prime of five nights a week, but still very likely to break into a High School gym when its windy outside just to get some run-a la Kobe always having one dominant game a series), Pappy would be Gasol ( a willing sidekick who almost always shows up) and Dannymacintosh as Odom (just as when he shows up the Lakers always win, when dannymac is there its always a hard run). At some point here in CNY the weather is going to turn, and at that point pickup ball will be in full swing. This got me thinking of all the classic memories I've had over the years playing pickup.While I'm sure there are many more, I narrowed it down to the 5best pickup moments I've witnessed first hand. Most of these have nothing to do with wins or losses. Ive tried to narrow down the timeframe of these events the best I could.
5.Slick Rick the Bus Driver
Venue: Berry Park Syracuse
Time: Summer 2005
Berry Park is perhaps the best outdoor competition in the Syracuse area. Back in the 80's and through today, you will catch some of the Orange there trying to play some outdoor ball. It goes without saying that like most great outdoor city venues, the patrons there are "characters." My buddy Jason and I decided to go there one night around seven (primetime there) to get some run. Now I will introduce our characters.
Our first main character was Jun, short for Junior (that's right-his nickname had a nickname!). Junior-at least then-was perhaps the most well known player at Berry. He was in his 30's but didn't look a day under 60. He was a CLASSIC O.G. He once opened a shoe store on S.Geddes street (a really bad section of Syracuse for any readers), and when my buddy and I went to check it out...there was one pair of shoes in the entire store. I', pretty sure the store was only there to do "other business." Anyway Jun had only one move, but it was lethal, and honestly unstoppable. He had a pullup jumper that he would simply take a dribble right, and cock the ball way behind his head as he shot it (his range was realistically 25 ft) and made about 75%-no joke. This and the fact that he was there everyday made him the unofficial leader of Berry Park.
Slick Rick was pretty much the opposite. He was a bus driver, and would show to the park acting like a fool. He would drive the bus to the park first of all, and would do dumb things like talk to us from the bus using the intercom-announcing that he had arrived. Take a moment and imagine that at an inner city park. What made it even better (or worse) was that he played in full body blackarmour and a black bum hat-a reason many nicknamed him Dark Wing Duck. Rick was also pretty obnoxious on the court. He talked a lot, and was one of those 6-4 guys who just shot threes and nothing else-one of those "big for no reason " kind of players. Nobody wanted Rick to play-ever.
This particular evening there were some pretty good runs going, and nobody wanted a fool like that ruining the games. What happened next would have made Rasheed Wallace give a standing ovation. I didn't hear this part, but my friend Jaysaid that Jun muttered something like "this muffin's never playing here again." Jun than proceeded to take the ball from a teammate. As Rick was approaching the sidelines to the court to start shooting around to warm up, Jun fired a fast ball at Rick...AND HIT HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE from about ten to fifteen feet away. As crazy as it sounds in print, it was surreal in person. Rick holding his face turned around, and rumor has it never came there to play again-I certainly haven't seen him.
4. The first five in five night game
Venue: IC PArk in Fayetteville
Time: Summer 2009
No frills, no great endings, just like it sounds. Ten people got together at 1:30 AM to play full court basketball with nothing but the light of my car as lumination. That's dedication.
3. The Dive
Venue: IC Park
Time Period: Spring of 2006
The perfect storm-that's the only way to describe it. It's what happens when a pickup game becomes perfection. Every element was there. Talent-check. Great weather-check. Close game-check. Signature moment-huge check.
Anyone who has ever played pickup knows that mist games are to fifteen win by two. This was the rule at IC. Unlike many parks though, IC did't have a rule like fifteen win by two, twenty one straight. You HAD to win by two. This gorgeous Sunday afternoon, you had a mix of good players, and of course two or three stoners. One of them (to protect the identity we'll call him P) was perhaps the most brain dead burnout I've ever seen in my life. It looked like when he tried to formulate a thought that smoke would come out of his ears, and he'd just fall asleep instead. He couldn't spell the word effort, much less exert any.
The game was tied at fourteen, as yours truly, and Mr. A as well call him, both got scorching hot. The next thing we all knew the game was tied at...31. That's right 31. Nobody wanted to have spent the last hour plus in a hard fought game and lose. That's where P comes in.
With the game tied at 31, his team had the ball. A flashy pass by Mr. A intended to a teammate looks as if it will surely sail out of bounds, giving my team the ball back at this crucial time.
The last line of hope for their team was P. Keep these facts in mind:
1.This pass was one that I'm not sure Manute Bol could have saved if he had Blake Griffin's ups.
2. P wouldn't have dove out of his house if it was on fire and he was diving into a swimming pool of weed, that's just not how he was.
At that moment P made the most spectacular dive I've ever seen anyone make. He was literally parallel to the ground, full extension. Getting to the ball was miraculous enough, but he amazingly saved it to a teammate. Later in the possession their team would score, and they would go on to win the game 33 to 31. The moment was so inspiring, I didn't even care that we lost. Even P understood the magnitude of a 31 to 31 game. Unreal
2. If Only he could Shoot
Venue: Archbald gym at SU
Time: January 09
This was the time period where I was probably playing the best basketball of my life. My two friends JAson and Tee would join me at Archbald gym at SU for ball at least two or three times a week. The competition there was off the charts on certain nights. It was another venue where players would show up from time to time. It had happened earlier in the year, when then freshman Kris Joseph showed up with his crew. My buddies and I literally ran his team out of the gym, it was like 15-6 or something. We were pretty cocky after that I gota admit.
So when Paul Harris showed up (notice this story is January 2009, right well Paul was in the middle of the Big East schedule) we were excited and more than ready to give him and his buddies a game.
Keep in mind that both teams played this game like it was game seven of the Finals. Our team storms out to a 14 to 4 lead.We were just firing two (pickup equivalent of a three) after two, and looked as if we were about to run another Orange out with an L. All we needed was one point.
My friend Tee is a large, and fairly mobile guy. He's a good defender especially if you're not lightning quick. He had the task of guarding HArris.
At the beginning of the game Tee forced him to shoot jumpers, which to no surprise worked out pretty well for us. For some reason though, once our team hit 14, we literally couldn't make a shot. We missed two fast break layups that would have won it. I missed a wide open ten footer, and there was a boat load of turnovers. It had turned into a war. Very slowly, and not all HArris by the way, they tied it up at 14. There was no win by two there, we played straight 15. After a flurry of misses on both ends as the result of great defense, Harris had the ball. I wish the next five seconds never happened.
Paul lulled Tee to sleep, then bursted right to the baseline in flash. He had beaten Tee clearly. In a game this hard fought, my instinct kicked in. Go help out was my thought. On my way over I figured that I ha plenty of time left as Paul was no joke, about ten eleven feet from the basket still. What I remember next was seeing him jump. He leaped right at me like a frigging wild animal coming towards it's pray in the grassland. I wasn't goin to give in. I was going to maul him and show him that I was tough. If I cop had been there he literally could have charged me wit assault I fouled him so hard. What also happened was that it made literally no difference to him. He powered through me like I wasn't there, and I kid you not unleashed one of the most viscious dunks ever right on my head. I'm talking like as good as Rose dunking on Dragic. He also let out the loudest scream I've ever heard as he did it.
Looking back at perhaps the most embarrassing moment of my life I'm glad it happened. It was such an athletic feat to do what he did that I was happy to be part of it. You would have totally understood if you saw it.
1.Crazy J-Rich
Venue:Onondaga Community College
Time:November 2006
Our first semesters in college provided a lot of new faces. Our own Dannymacintosh was home on break from Ohio State, and I decided I wanted him to see the cats I was dealing with. I invited him to come watch an open run at OCC, so he could see the people that were my new family.
To cut to the cahse we will introduce you to the star of the story...J Rich. J Rich was at least 350 pounds at the time. He was also one of the craziest/scariest people I had ever met. He fouled people like he was in a hockey game checking, and at his size it was terrifying, and did I mention he was crazy. He would later that year beat up a kid quarter of his size so bad, that it took no joke five of us to get him off the kid. Hopefully that properly sets the stage.
As usual a fierce game was the root. He was playing against my team. Due to a bunch of incredibly lucky shots his team had jumped out to a 10-2 lead in a game to eleven (by ones and twos). Our team came storming back and tied the game. With the game being next pint win, I stole the ball and tip toed up the left sideline, and made a nifty move to lay it in and win the game.
Well I also had obviously stepped out of bounds, even I knew this, but I just wanted to get out of there with a win. J RIch was having none of that. He literally turned into the Incredible Hulk. IT was scary. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he would not go down with out a fight.
The OCC mens bball coach was the one who ran the open gyms, and he had a clipboard, that kept track of the next five players who would play winners. As the words "the next five" were coming out of his mouth, J Rich grabbed the clipboard out of his hands, and smashed it to pieces on the ground. We all stood there like the kids in the Sandlot when Benny hit the guts out of a baseball. Who smashes a clipboard? For the mere anger he felt in that moment, I will give him my number one spot. Hopefully there will be many more to come.
5.Slick Rick the Bus Driver
Venue: Berry Park Syracuse
Time: Summer 2005
Berry Park is perhaps the best outdoor competition in the Syracuse area. Back in the 80's and through today, you will catch some of the Orange there trying to play some outdoor ball. It goes without saying that like most great outdoor city venues, the patrons there are "characters." My buddy Jason and I decided to go there one night around seven (primetime there) to get some run. Now I will introduce our characters.
Our first main character was Jun, short for Junior (that's right-his nickname had a nickname!). Junior-at least then-was perhaps the most well known player at Berry. He was in his 30's but didn't look a day under 60. He was a CLASSIC O.G. He once opened a shoe store on S.Geddes street (a really bad section of Syracuse for any readers), and when my buddy and I went to check it out...there was one pair of shoes in the entire store. I', pretty sure the store was only there to do "other business." Anyway Jun had only one move, but it was lethal, and honestly unstoppable. He had a pullup jumper that he would simply take a dribble right, and cock the ball way behind his head as he shot it (his range was realistically 25 ft) and made about 75%-no joke. This and the fact that he was there everyday made him the unofficial leader of Berry Park.
Slick Rick was pretty much the opposite. He was a bus driver, and would show to the park acting like a fool. He would drive the bus to the park first of all, and would do dumb things like talk to us from the bus using the intercom-announcing that he had arrived. Take a moment and imagine that at an inner city park. What made it even better (or worse) was that he played in full body blackarmour and a black bum hat-a reason many nicknamed him Dark Wing Duck. Rick was also pretty obnoxious on the court. He talked a lot, and was one of those 6-4 guys who just shot threes and nothing else-one of those "big for no reason " kind of players. Nobody wanted Rick to play-ever.
This particular evening there were some pretty good runs going, and nobody wanted a fool like that ruining the games. What happened next would have made Rasheed Wallace give a standing ovation. I didn't hear this part, but my friend Jaysaid that Jun muttered something like "this muffin's never playing here again." Jun than proceeded to take the ball from a teammate. As Rick was approaching the sidelines to the court to start shooting around to warm up, Jun fired a fast ball at Rick...AND HIT HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE from about ten to fifteen feet away. As crazy as it sounds in print, it was surreal in person. Rick holding his face turned around, and rumor has it never came there to play again-I certainly haven't seen him.
4. The first five in five night game
Venue: IC PArk in Fayetteville
Time: Summer 2009
No frills, no great endings, just like it sounds. Ten people got together at 1:30 AM to play full court basketball with nothing but the light of my car as lumination. That's dedication.
3. The Dive
Venue: IC Park
Time Period: Spring of 2006
The perfect storm-that's the only way to describe it. It's what happens when a pickup game becomes perfection. Every element was there. Talent-check. Great weather-check. Close game-check. Signature moment-huge check.
Anyone who has ever played pickup knows that mist games are to fifteen win by two. This was the rule at IC. Unlike many parks though, IC did't have a rule like fifteen win by two, twenty one straight. You HAD to win by two. This gorgeous Sunday afternoon, you had a mix of good players, and of course two or three stoners. One of them (to protect the identity we'll call him P) was perhaps the most brain dead burnout I've ever seen in my life. It looked like when he tried to formulate a thought that smoke would come out of his ears, and he'd just fall asleep instead. He couldn't spell the word effort, much less exert any.
The game was tied at fourteen, as yours truly, and Mr. A as well call him, both got scorching hot. The next thing we all knew the game was tied at...31. That's right 31. Nobody wanted to have spent the last hour plus in a hard fought game and lose. That's where P comes in.
With the game tied at 31, his team had the ball. A flashy pass by Mr. A intended to a teammate looks as if it will surely sail out of bounds, giving my team the ball back at this crucial time.
The last line of hope for their team was P. Keep these facts in mind:
1.This pass was one that I'm not sure Manute Bol could have saved if he had Blake Griffin's ups.
2. P wouldn't have dove out of his house if it was on fire and he was diving into a swimming pool of weed, that's just not how he was.
At that moment P made the most spectacular dive I've ever seen anyone make. He was literally parallel to the ground, full extension. Getting to the ball was miraculous enough, but he amazingly saved it to a teammate. Later in the possession their team would score, and they would go on to win the game 33 to 31. The moment was so inspiring, I didn't even care that we lost. Even P understood the magnitude of a 31 to 31 game. Unreal
2. If Only he could Shoot
Venue: Archbald gym at SU
Time: January 09
This was the time period where I was probably playing the best basketball of my life. My two friends JAson and Tee would join me at Archbald gym at SU for ball at least two or three times a week. The competition there was off the charts on certain nights. It was another venue where players would show up from time to time. It had happened earlier in the year, when then freshman Kris Joseph showed up with his crew. My buddies and I literally ran his team out of the gym, it was like 15-6 or something. We were pretty cocky after that I gota admit.
So when Paul Harris showed up (notice this story is January 2009, right well Paul was in the middle of the Big East schedule) we were excited and more than ready to give him and his buddies a game.
Keep in mind that both teams played this game like it was game seven of the Finals. Our team storms out to a 14 to 4 lead.We were just firing two (pickup equivalent of a three) after two, and looked as if we were about to run another Orange out with an L. All we needed was one point.
My friend Tee is a large, and fairly mobile guy. He's a good defender especially if you're not lightning quick. He had the task of guarding HArris.
At the beginning of the game Tee forced him to shoot jumpers, which to no surprise worked out pretty well for us. For some reason though, once our team hit 14, we literally couldn't make a shot. We missed two fast break layups that would have won it. I missed a wide open ten footer, and there was a boat load of turnovers. It had turned into a war. Very slowly, and not all HArris by the way, they tied it up at 14. There was no win by two there, we played straight 15. After a flurry of misses on both ends as the result of great defense, Harris had the ball. I wish the next five seconds never happened.
Paul lulled Tee to sleep, then bursted right to the baseline in flash. He had beaten Tee clearly. In a game this hard fought, my instinct kicked in. Go help out was my thought. On my way over I figured that I ha plenty of time left as Paul was no joke, about ten eleven feet from the basket still. What I remember next was seeing him jump. He leaped right at me like a frigging wild animal coming towards it's pray in the grassland. I wasn't goin to give in. I was going to maul him and show him that I was tough. If I cop had been there he literally could have charged me wit assault I fouled him so hard. What also happened was that it made literally no difference to him. He powered through me like I wasn't there, and I kid you not unleashed one of the most viscious dunks ever right on my head. I'm talking like as good as Rose dunking on Dragic. He also let out the loudest scream I've ever heard as he did it.
Looking back at perhaps the most embarrassing moment of my life I'm glad it happened. It was such an athletic feat to do what he did that I was happy to be part of it. You would have totally understood if you saw it.
1.Crazy J-Rich
Venue:Onondaga Community College
Time:November 2006
Our first semesters in college provided a lot of new faces. Our own Dannymacintosh was home on break from Ohio State, and I decided I wanted him to see the cats I was dealing with. I invited him to come watch an open run at OCC, so he could see the people that were my new family.
To cut to the cahse we will introduce you to the star of the story...J Rich. J Rich was at least 350 pounds at the time. He was also one of the craziest/scariest people I had ever met. He fouled people like he was in a hockey game checking, and at his size it was terrifying, and did I mention he was crazy. He would later that year beat up a kid quarter of his size so bad, that it took no joke five of us to get him off the kid. Hopefully that properly sets the stage.
As usual a fierce game was the root. He was playing against my team. Due to a bunch of incredibly lucky shots his team had jumped out to a 10-2 lead in a game to eleven (by ones and twos). Our team came storming back and tied the game. With the game being next pint win, I stole the ball and tip toed up the left sideline, and made a nifty move to lay it in and win the game.
Well I also had obviously stepped out of bounds, even I knew this, but I just wanted to get out of there with a win. J RIch was having none of that. He literally turned into the Incredible Hulk. IT was scary. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he would not go down with out a fight.
The OCC mens bball coach was the one who ran the open gyms, and he had a clipboard, that kept track of the next five players who would play winners. As the words "the next five" were coming out of his mouth, J Rich grabbed the clipboard out of his hands, and smashed it to pieces on the ground. We all stood there like the kids in the Sandlot when Benny hit the guts out of a baseball. Who smashes a clipboard? For the mere anger he felt in that moment, I will give him my number one spot. Hopefully there will be many more to come.
Apr 12, 2011
The Free Darko Eulogy
Yesterday, Client 9 informed me via facebook that FreeDarko was dead. Bethlehem Shoals found there to be some grander mission that mythologizing the NBA, and will just share his thoughts on FanHouse from now on. Their simple mission had been accomplished: Darko is now a regular part of the rotation for the Timberwolves and the Pistons are now the laughingstock of the League with the first walkout I've ever heard of in the NBA's history.
It's great to read those great writers share their thoughts about the site's impact, which they hit all the points that I agree with. First, that FreeDarko legitimized blogs. Deadspin showing dicks and KSK's imaginary monologues and dialogues fill niches that I love to read, but FreeDarko consistently is thought-provoking.
I found FreeDarko after this happened:
.I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life, and as a college freshman with no idea where my life would take me (spoiler: unemployment living at my parent's house), I read up on the Warriors and Baron and Captain Jack and Adonal "Am" Foyle (Jewish joke, sorry) during their first-round crapping on the Mavs, where pseudo-MVP Dirk soiled the bed. But then I read this, and I looked like Nasim Pedrad after touching Helen Mirren's tits:
I realized basketball could be a scholarly pursuit, and not in the Daryl Morey sense of crunching numbers, but that it could be contextualized into other disciplines. I ended up choosing International Relations as my major and I spent a lot of time (maybe too much time if one were to look at my transcript) trying to draw parallels between autocrats and the NBA superstars ("Kobe is sooo Than Shwe of Myanmar's military junta!"). I tried to use film, my other favorite pursuit, in some terrible posts like this and this, that just come of as drug-addled. I could never produce the analysis that they could in creating lists of comparable trios to the Big 3 in Miami.
The Almanac was also a revelation. I realized there was a manifesto that showed that you didn't need to love one team to love the NBA. I was part of the paradigm of Liberated Fandom, growing up in a non-NBA city but enjoying being able to watch the NBA on NBC and TBS and TNT and ESPN and ABC. I even ended up using a quote from the Ron Artest section of the Almanac as the quote that explained my thesis on the failure of Israeli-Palestinian peace negotiations beginning in 1993 ("I'm trying to be positive, I'm a big fan of the Nobel Peace Prize."). My thesis advisor and the other students in my seminar laughed, but it was the perfect moment in my academic development. I had taken something that I loved and studied thoroughly, basketball, and synthesized it with what I chose as my academic field.
FreeDarko taught me that I could love watching basketball in a way I never thought possible. I could view it through an academic lens instead of beer goggles, enjoying it as an art form as well as a power struggle that exposed the emotions of so many, most of whom give no consideration to these conflicts. But as someone who enjoys some things not enjoyed by the common fan, like team loyalty and other things that sportswriters love to wax poetic about as essential characteristics to professional athletes, FreeDarko showed me there were others who enjoyed the sport like I do. I thank you, Shoals, and your compatriots, for enlightening me. I am disappointed to see the site end, much as I was with the demise of FireJoeMorgan. But its spirit lives on in the liberated fandom of myself and countless others as well as a new appreciation for the game shared by a community that read your work, sometimes perplexed, sometimes in complete agreement, but always ending up enlightened.
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