Jun 5, 2008

Your One Stop Shop NBA Finals Preview and Future-Telling Device

You could say that I, like America, am much more excited about this NBA Finals matchup than say, Jemele Hill.


(When I searched for the article on ESPN, it came up with this preview: "Lakers versus Celtics? Please. If basketball fans know what's good for them, they want to see Pistons versus Spurs in the NBA Finals." Makes Jemele sound like an abusive parent cracking their belt. Also, while people complain of Bill Simmons' Celtics fandom, why do we not bring up Hill's? She was born in Detroit for heaven's sake! Of course she wants to see them in the Finals, but unlike Simmons, her writing style demands that she not explicitly say so, so she does it the only other way possible: implicitly using mind-control.)


Anyways, back to the preview: besides the fact that this is Lakers-Celtics Round 12, it also is something even more important to the NBA: new-guard vs. new-guard. We're about to see a rivalry return to prominence and set off a 1980's golden age redux (still to be another post). The Celtics have jack squat Finals experience compared to the Lakers (see: Kobe and Fish circa Lakers 2000-2002), but their hunger may make up part of that difference. Let's look at the matchups to determine what the hell is really going to happen; ladies and gentlemens, THE FUTURE TELLING DEVICE!


Point Guard
Rajon Rondo vs. Derek Fisher
This is the barometer for this series. Rondo may be forced to help on Kobe drives and doubling down into the post onto Gasol, in which case Fish will have the chance to hit open jumpers that will make things much easier for the Lakers. On the other end, Rondo has to avoid turnovers, especially with the thievery that Fish has displayed during the playoffs (3.5 per game against Utah and 2.27 per throughout the playoffs, enough to earn the nickname to a nickname "A Fish Called Wanda"). I'm giving this matchup to the Lakers.


Shooting Guard
Kobe Bryant vs. Ray Allen
The bell goes off here because it's a matchup of perennial All-Stars. Alas, one (Kobe) is a superstar that is about to be the league's image (already for the D-League's logo) the way Jordan was in his hey-day. Jesus Shuttlesworth may have a magical stroke from the land of the trinity that has been on as of late, but he will be no match for the all-around dominance that the Mamba has been displaying throughout the playoffs. I also don't think that Ray-Ray will be the primary defender on Kobe, as Pierce will be a more physical matchup that will give Kobe more problems. Still, this one goes to the Lakers.


Small Forward
Vladimir Radmanovic vs. Paul Pierce
When I was in 10th grade gym class, our teacher asked us for examples of great shooters. I immediately said John Wilkes Booth, who displayed some amazing athleticism by jumping from Lincoln's balcony after his shot heard 'round DC, although he broke his leg and didn't land it. he interrupted me to remind me that we were talking about basketball shooters, and I immediately said "Vladimir Radmanovic." And for good reason: Rad-man could stroke it in international play, but was just less effective from 3. He's been playing extremely well in the playoffs to the tune of making great cuts so Kobe has somewhere to pass when he contortions in the air and realized that Tim Duncan is breathing down his neck a la Brainy from Hey Arnold!, and hitting open shots. He will probably start out on Pierce as to avoid Kobe having to foul people and so Kobe can play that off-ball sneak-up-on-your-candy-ass defense. But Paul Pierce is "The Truth" for a reason: he truly can play, and he's been damn clutch in the playoffs, especially in Game 7s. Both players will get theirs, but Pierce will get more, so the advantage in this matchup goes to the Celtics.


Power Forward and Center
Lamar Odom & Pau Gasol vs. Kevin Garnett & Kendrick Perkins
I'm thinking that Garnett comes out on Gasol because Garnett is a fucking stalwart on D and Gasol has been giving teams serious fits with his length and a post repertoire similar to Yo-Yo Ma's of cello. However, this will leave the Celtics at a disadvantage as Perkins has a dearth of speed compared to Odom's bounty. However, matching up the other way will still disadvantage the Celts because Perkins will also be vulnerable guarding Gasol.
With the Celtics on offense, Garnett will probably be guarded by Odom to start out, leaving the active Perkins crashing the offensive glass (averaged 2.8 per against the Pistons), so Gasol will have no rest on D. Inevitably, Gasol will end up guarding Garnett (Gasol also could inevitably start the game on Garnett, who will definitely be using his unstoppable midrange game to draw out whoever is guarding him and get them into some foul trouble.). Though Lamar Odom has been playing out of his mind as of late, I think the Celtics have the advantage because Kevin Garnett is the best front court player in the league.

Bench
I've watched nearly every game by each team so far in these here Playoffs, and there is one glaring difference in these teams: The Lakers bench can put five right in like Dean Smith with his "Blue Team," while the Boston bench is powerless by itself like the Silver Surfer sans board. Jordan Farmar will be starting when Fish is done; he is definitely the heir to the point guard position, and he has been playing like it should be his now. Sasha Vujacic is a solid semi-flopper who talks trash but can also microwave like Vinnie Johnson. Luke Walton is an amazing passer and a smart scorer. Ronny Turiaf has been putting in good minutes against starting forwards in the past two series, and Trevor Ariza should be getting more time, but he may be nursing his injured right foot that kept him out for the end of the regular season and the beginning of the playoffs. PJ Brown has been solid off the Celtic bench, but no one else really has, especially on the road (Only James Posey, with his championship experience with the Heat, averages more than 4 points a game). The Lakers bench is definitely going to cause more problems for the Celtics  than the Celts' will do for them.
Coaching
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAHA...

Sorry. I sometimes forget about Doc Rivers coaching the Celtics, and Phil Jackson's status as coach of the Lakers. Doc Rivers is just not that good of a coach. Sorry Celtics fans, but the Lakers take this one easily. 
Prediction: Lakers in 5. The Celtics may get one of the first two, but I think the Lakers steal homecourt and win 3 straight at home to take the championship in front of their own fans. The Lakers are about to do some dynasty building next year with a healthy Andrew Bynum, who will help take this team to the future (sans Kobe) along with the other younger Lakers, which could possibly include a lot of Larry O'Brien trophies.

Also, Mike Tranghese retired today. He had worked in the Big East since its inception and was the commissioner for 19 years after the retirement of Dave Gavitt, the league's first leading the continued growth and the quick recovery from the ACC defections. The Big East, though only the 8th oldest of the 12 D-I-A conferences, is still one of the more powerful because of Tranghese's efforts to draw in Miami (especially their football) and Notre Dame sans football. He led the salvation of the league after the ACC defections that put in play an amazing concept with the 16 team basketball conference, the largest of all time, that was able to get a record 8 teams into the tournament last year. Now that he has retired, he is planning on doing something else, and we wish him lukc in whatever that may be.

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