1.) For some reason, Jay Wright wasn't satisfied with winning by only 10 at the Dome, so he's subbing guys in like he's coaching the Flyers.
2.) John Saunders called the 2-3 zone a matchup zone, which is completely incorrect.
3.) Is Scoop playing? Will he admit to getting the munchies to order hundreds of dollars of food with his cousin and two girls? We shall see, he is wearing a jersey.
4.) Jay Wright doesn't want to get sweat on his suit as he tries to fuck up cancer in his sneakers. Boeheim looks classier.
5.) Syracuse just looks tired as hell. Johnny Flynn hasn't missed a minute since...the last time Syracuse played Villanova.
Feb 2, 2008
What 'Cuse Needs a Lot of Tomorrow
I just remembered this dunk. Paulie got the fuck up. I was sure he could put a sticker on the top line of the backboard square, and remember, he is definitely overlisted at 6'4".
Feb 1, 2008
Great, snakes on crack!
I missed the DePaul game, but I am damn happy with the result, and I might go tomorrow to the Wachovia Center to see 'Cuse take on Nova. However, I might not, because people are still saying that Donte Green will be a top 5 pick (nbadraft.net, I'm talking to you). Once he declares his intentions to be a sophomore at Syracuse University will I go to another game.
As anyone who reads this blog would know, I made some shitty playoff picks as the New Year rolled around. Here is my shitty Super Bowl lock of the week/year/month: Patriots cover, 28-14. And as an added benefit of taking The Sports Industry this semester, I present you with Super Bowl counter-programming:
ABC
“America’s Funniest Home Videos” rerun and “Meet The Fockers”
8:00-11:00pm
CBS
“60 Minutes” and “Shark” and “Cold Case” reruns
7:30-11:00pm
NBC
“Biggest Loser” marathon
7:00-11:00pm
Animal Planet
“Puppy Bowl IV”
3:00pm-3:00am
Bravo
“Law & Order: Criminal Intent” marathon
6:00pm-2:00am
ESPN
ISU European Championships
9:00-10:00pm
ESPN2
“World’s Strongest Man Competition” marathon
6:00pm-5:00am
Food Network
“Food Network Challenge”
3:00-9:00pm
Hallmark Channel
“Murder She Wrote” marathon
8:00-3:00am
Lifetime
“Football-Free Movie Extravaganza”
11:00-2:00am
Oxygen
“Deion and Pilar: Primetime Love”
Spike TV
“MLE Chowdown Championship: Ham N’ Egg”
Speed TV
“Lucas Oil on the Edge,” “Monster Jams” and “PINKS: All Out” episodes
2:00pm-4:00am
TBS
“What Women Want” movie marathon
Noon-midnight
TLC
“Miss America Pageant” re-air
6:00pm-2:00am
TNT
“The Closer” marathon
Noon-midnight
Travel Channel
“Tribal Odyssey” marathon
7:00pm-3:00am
USA Network
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
6:00pm-3:00am
WE
“Rich Bride, Poor Bride,” “My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding” and “Platinum Wedding” marathon
4:00pm-5:00am
My pick is definitely Spike TV, due to my love for breakfast food, and my intentions to drop out of school and join the competitive eating circuit. As Eater X mimics Ultimate Warrior with the face paint, I will wear a leather mask to mimic Mankind. Some more analysis: women! TBS is trying to steal as many women who hate football as humanly possible with the Mel Gibson chick flick from hell with bleeding Jesus and a dude getting his face eaten off by Helen Hunt, but I digress. Oxygen, the women's network, with the Deion Sanders reality show pilot? Seriously? I have no response, but I can say with confidence that Noel Devine made the right decision in abandoning Deion's adoptive efforts.
Final thing before I go back to sleep for 10 more hours: the Lakers will NOT win the title this year. Pau Gasol is great and all, but he is still pretty soft. But keeping Bynum and Odom and GETTING RID OF KWAME BROWN (the capital letters show you how happy it makes me for Kobe) will definitely help the Lakers get at least 2 rounds farther in the playoffs this year.
To build on McKeever's post before mine, must-see movie is Coal Miner's Daughter. Sissy Spacek is nasty as Loretta Lynn (she won a damn Oscar), but my highlight was seeing some great acting work from Levon Helm as the Coal Miner. Levon basically got to play himself for a little while, and then play a dead guy, but while his character was alive, he really contributed some great work to this movie.
As anyone who reads this blog would know, I made some shitty playoff picks as the New Year rolled around. Here is my shitty Super Bowl lock of the week/year/month: Patriots cover, 28-14. And as an added benefit of taking The Sports Industry this semester, I present you with Super Bowl counter-programming:
ABC
“America’s Funniest Home Videos” rerun and “Meet The Fockers”
8:00-11:00pm
CBS
“60 Minutes” and “Shark” and “Cold Case” reruns
7:30-11:00pm
NBC
“Biggest Loser” marathon
7:00-11:00pm
Animal Planet
“Puppy Bowl IV”
3:00pm-3:00am
Bravo
“Law & Order: Criminal Intent” marathon
6:00pm-2:00am
ESPN
ISU European Championships
9:00-10:00pm
ESPN2
“World’s Strongest Man Competition” marathon
6:00pm-5:00am
Food Network
“Food Network Challenge”
3:00-9:00pm
Hallmark Channel
“Murder She Wrote” marathon
8:00-3:00am
Lifetime
“Football-Free Movie Extravaganza”
11:00-2:00am
Oxygen
“Deion and Pilar: Primetime Love”
Spike TV
“MLE Chowdown Championship: Ham N’ Egg”
Speed TV
“Lucas Oil on the Edge,” “Monster Jams” and “PINKS: All Out” episodes
2:00pm-4:00am
TBS
“What Women Want” movie marathon
Noon-midnight
TLC
“Miss America Pageant” re-air
6:00pm-2:00am
TNT
“The Closer” marathon
Noon-midnight
Travel Channel
“Tribal Odyssey” marathon
7:00pm-3:00am
USA Network
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
6:00pm-3:00am
WE
“Rich Bride, Poor Bride,” “My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding” and “Platinum Wedding” marathon
4:00pm-5:00am
My pick is definitely Spike TV, due to my love for breakfast food, and my intentions to drop out of school and join the competitive eating circuit. As Eater X mimics Ultimate Warrior with the face paint, I will wear a leather mask to mimic Mankind. Some more analysis: women! TBS is trying to steal as many women who hate football as humanly possible with the Mel Gibson chick flick from hell with bleeding Jesus and a dude getting his face eaten off by Helen Hunt, but I digress. Oxygen, the women's network, with the Deion Sanders reality show pilot? Seriously? I have no response, but I can say with confidence that Noel Devine made the right decision in abandoning Deion's adoptive efforts.
Final thing before I go back to sleep for 10 more hours: the Lakers will NOT win the title this year. Pau Gasol is great and all, but he is still pretty soft. But keeping Bynum and Odom and GETTING RID OF KWAME BROWN (the capital letters show you how happy it makes me for Kobe) will definitely help the Lakers get at least 2 rounds farther in the playoffs this year.
To build on McKeever's post before mine, must-see movie is Coal Miner's Daughter. Sissy Spacek is nasty as Loretta Lynn (she won a damn Oscar), but my highlight was seeing some great acting work from Levon Helm as the Coal Miner. Levon basically got to play himself for a little while, and then play a dead guy, but while his character was alive, he really contributed some great work to this movie.
Jan 21, 2008
Jesuits beat Nonsectarian Private School not to a Pulp, But to Hopelessness
The season looks bleak for SU basketball right now. NIT is the three letters no one wants to hear, but Saturday's loss to Nova and tonight's loss to Georgetown really put that abbreviation into perspective. Three things were particularly effective in bringing me to this:
1.) Johnny Flynn getting into it with Jeremiah Rivers
So, you were beating them up, and you had a lead, but you need to finish the game, Johnny, and not worry about one-on-one games. It's 5 on 5, and as Johnny became score-first for 2 or 3 possessions, Georgetown slowly pushed their way back into the game. And he kept the hogging going in overtime. Terrible choices that will hopefully be out of his system after practice tomorrow.
2.) Scoop Jardine
Not an offensive threat in any way. Bricked the first shot of overtime. Played real sloppy, as did Paul Harris
3.) Donte Greene
This one goes out to nbadraft.net, who currently have Donte predicted to go 5th to the Knicks: HE IS NOT THAT GOOD! If he knows best, he'll stay at Syracuse for at least another year and get to work. Here's a checklist to start on:
-Inconsistency: TERRIBLE against Nova, 1-11 in the first half against Georgetown. As I have pointed out before on numerous occasions when comparing him to Carmelo Anthony: If Melo fucked up one game, he took it out on the opponent the next, something Donte has yet to discover. It is also known as "killer instinct," and if you don't have it, you should not be considering going pro at all. Not even in the back of you mind.
-Robotic offensive game: Really, you need to not shoot two threes and then drive, shoot two threes, then drive, etc. Donte needs to get the basket and try to get to the line against smaller guys, like every person that guarded him tonight besides Hibbert.
-DEFENSE: I talked to a few people about this tonight, and we all agree: Donte just doesn't play defense at all. He is the least active person I have ever seen in the zone. Ever. Think of other people who have played 2-3 zone at Syracuse: Billy Celuck, Craig Forth, Elvir Ovcina, all big, goofy, white guys, all better defenders than Donte Greene. Donte likes to block one shot and then relax for the rest of the night. That is definitely not helping the zone.
Conclusion: Donte should go undrafted if he declares this year. He has a ways to go.
In other news, Arinze put up a great fight on Hibbert, putting in 12 and grabbing 13 boards. his free throw shooting along with Donte's in OT really ended the game. But Arinze also set a career-high with 5 assists. And we're talking about passing out of a double down for an open 3 as well as finding cutters down the lane. Really impressive stuff.
And congratulations to Johnny Flynn on his first dunk of the year! Took him a while to learn how hard it is to do in traffic, as he scored lots of 2s tonight on a floater instead of attacking the rim (ridiculous bounce on one over Hibbert).
And the officiating? Well, according to a source of mine, Jim Burr and John Cahill are golf buddies with Boeheim, and that's why they give him such terrible calls all the time. I really don't know about that, but they really let it be a physical game. Especially under the basket, where Georgetown could be watching out for some lawsuits involving priests. A lot of stuff should have been called, but it's in the books, and no one can change that. Except the Miami Heat.
Also, congratulations to the Memphis Tigers for finally getting that #1 ranking. Barring an uprising from the "untouchables" who make up the rest of C-USA, the caste system should remain and Memphis should roll to the overall #1. Well, watch out for Bruce Pearl sweating.
Till next time...
1.) Johnny Flynn getting into it with Jeremiah Rivers
So, you were beating them up, and you had a lead, but you need to finish the game, Johnny, and not worry about one-on-one games. It's 5 on 5, and as Johnny became score-first for 2 or 3 possessions, Georgetown slowly pushed their way back into the game. And he kept the hogging going in overtime. Terrible choices that will hopefully be out of his system after practice tomorrow.
2.) Scoop Jardine
Not an offensive threat in any way. Bricked the first shot of overtime. Played real sloppy, as did Paul Harris
3.) Donte Greene
This one goes out to nbadraft.net, who currently have Donte predicted to go 5th to the Knicks: HE IS NOT THAT GOOD! If he knows best, he'll stay at Syracuse for at least another year and get to work. Here's a checklist to start on:
-Inconsistency: TERRIBLE against Nova, 1-11 in the first half against Georgetown. As I have pointed out before on numerous occasions when comparing him to Carmelo Anthony: If Melo fucked up one game, he took it out on the opponent the next, something Donte has yet to discover. It is also known as "killer instinct," and if you don't have it, you should not be considering going pro at all. Not even in the back of you mind.
-Robotic offensive game: Really, you need to not shoot two threes and then drive, shoot two threes, then drive, etc. Donte needs to get the basket and try to get to the line against smaller guys, like every person that guarded him tonight besides Hibbert.
-DEFENSE: I talked to a few people about this tonight, and we all agree: Donte just doesn't play defense at all. He is the least active person I have ever seen in the zone. Ever. Think of other people who have played 2-3 zone at Syracuse: Billy Celuck, Craig Forth, Elvir Ovcina, all big, goofy, white guys, all better defenders than Donte Greene. Donte likes to block one shot and then relax for the rest of the night. That is definitely not helping the zone.
Conclusion: Donte should go undrafted if he declares this year. He has a ways to go.
In other news, Arinze put up a great fight on Hibbert, putting in 12 and grabbing 13 boards. his free throw shooting along with Donte's in OT really ended the game. But Arinze also set a career-high with 5 assists. And we're talking about passing out of a double down for an open 3 as well as finding cutters down the lane. Really impressive stuff.
And congratulations to Johnny Flynn on his first dunk of the year! Took him a while to learn how hard it is to do in traffic, as he scored lots of 2s tonight on a floater instead of attacking the rim (ridiculous bounce on one over Hibbert).
And the officiating? Well, according to a source of mine, Jim Burr and John Cahill are golf buddies with Boeheim, and that's why they give him such terrible calls all the time. I really don't know about that, but they really let it be a physical game. Especially under the basket, where Georgetown could be watching out for some lawsuits involving priests. A lot of stuff should have been called, but it's in the books, and no one can change that. Except the Miami Heat.
Also, congratulations to the Memphis Tigers for finally getting that #1 ranking. Barring an uprising from the "untouchables" who make up the rest of C-USA, the caste system should remain and Memphis should roll to the overall #1. Well, watch out for Bruce Pearl sweating.
Till next time...
Jan 17, 2008
Pats-Jags final analysis
The Patriots may never lose again in their history after Brett Favre storybook ends his career in XLII. But the game with the Jags game was the closest any team will get to New England. They just put too much on the table for Jacksonville to deal with. Watch Randy Moss with double coverage, but leave open Stallworth and Welker for short passes that have lots of YAC. Garrard attacked the Pats defense well except for his fumble and the pick. Otherwise, he was the model of how to play the Pats...in the 1st half. Belicheck obviously was prepared to make a half-time adjustment that made Garrard ineffective in the 2nd half. And the running game never got going, leading the Jags to rely heavily on Garrard's arm.
The Jaguars should be looking forward to next year. Their D is good enough to definitely increase their wins next year, but for now, it's the Patriots' time. And Tom Brady is still a choke in my heart.
The Jaguars should be looking forward to next year. Their D is good enough to definitely increase their wins next year, but for now, it's the Patriots' time. And Tom Brady is still a choke in my heart.
Jan 16, 2008
All Praises to the PlayStation!
Back at school after a nice visit to Los Angeles. Favorite part to share with my nearly-nonexistent loyal readers: watching the writers strike. My brother put it best when he said, "they don't really have that hard-hat, lunch-pail image that gets to the public." Boy do they not. First, there is a gigantic lunch buffet next to the picket line outside CBS's Los Angeles studios, which takes away the necessity of the lunch-pail. Second, they don't put much time into it. Most started showing up at around noon (when traffic is definitely not as high), and they also only picket for about 4 hours tops per person. Of course, they probably have some witty remark to shoot back at me, but we all know they work for 10 hours a day, of which 7 hours is somehow taking a break.
I really don't think I could live in LA with the way ESPN fits into daily life. Basketball games at 4PM? I need to get home from work, silly Digger! And PTI at 2:30? No wonder kids from LA here at Penn have some unfamiliarity with what I consider ESPN's #2 program, even in front of MNF, NFL Countdown, and College Gameday.
Anyways, all hope is lost for Syracuse basketball. WVU fucked them up on Sunday, and never has any team been slowed by the mixture of slime from Bob Huggins' hair and sweat from his suit (http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/2008/01/bob-huggins-lau.html). So where to go from here? Hell, I'm still going to watch every game and be just as much of a fan, but I think tournament is going to be a hard path to get on for this team. Donte was like Bob Dylan on Sunday: not there. 3-12 from the field and only 10 points? I don't think he is going to be thinking about going pro if he has another performance like that. Carmelo could afford it because he was always able to bounce back, never putting up less than 20 points in consecutive games (besides the beginning of the tournament). And Scoop, isn't it really easy to score 18 when no one is guarding you? Well, now people are guarding you, so you better get that jumper going. Rutgers comes to the Dome tonight, and god damn am I worried.
Playoffs! I was 1-4 on Conference Championship participants. My bad. I thought Indy learned their lesson last year on how to win in the playoffs, but I was wrong. They learned how to win as an underdog, not as an overrated team. And Phillip Rivers? DBOTY mean douche bag of the year, and I think you'll win it for 2008.
Oh, man! TO! I almost forgot, but you really can't. He actually supported his quarterback after a terrible performance! I thought the apocalypse was coming. TO? Supportive of a teammate? Only talking to a Mexican reporter about his injury who probably can't understand him (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN8MtNEpy9U)? Wow. But seriously. After bashing Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb, TO puts his support behind Romo, who definitely made a terrible decision in going to Cabo with Jessica Simpson and the rest of her family of idiots. And Jason Witten. Romo cried like a baby to the refs, yelled at his offensive line, and was basically ineffective in the second half. Eli outperformed him...yes, Eli Manning, and it was definitely the 40 second touchdown drive that tied the game with 7 seconds left in the first half that turned the tide.
But back to TO. He always gets the embarrassing defeat from Garcia and McNabb. TO's criticism of McNabb was completely hypocritical in blaming Don for the Super Bowl loss. How about thanking him for getting you to the Super Bowl? You certainly didn't help in the NFC playoffs, even if you did have a towel and stood on top of a bench waving it. You didn't play football. TO can't take over a playoff game, and unless he has a good quarterback (Tony Romo is NOT that guy), maybe he could win some games. Imagine if he did play the whole playoffs for the Eagles that year. They could have been even better together in the Super Bowl with some familiarity, and we'd be talking about an Eagles title. And the past two years, McNabb and Garcia, as Eagles quarterbacks, have terrorized Owens in games at Dallas. McNabb helped start the slide that led to Dallas' playoff exit this year with the 10-6 win in Week 15. And Garcia quarterbacked the blowout that made Tony Romo look like he needed more Pepsi Max last year. In conclusion, TO is not going to win a Super Bowl in Dallas unless Tony Romo is told to sit on a bonfire.
Everyone wants to write a movie about Brett Favre's season this year, so look for a script from Tony Kornheiser, Joe Buck, Mark Schlereth, and Sean Salisbury. Let's have the guys who directed Remember the Titans, Glory Road, We Are Marshall, and Radio direct it. It will be the biggest blockbuster in the history of sports movies. It will make Rocky look like he raped babies AND aborted fetuses. Look out for 2010's first hit movie, The Untitled Brett Favre Project, which will win 30 Oscars and get Jake Gyllenhaal his first Oscar and probably make people not think so much about Brokeback Mountain, but probably still think about Brokeback Mountain. Because JP Losman once said of Brett Favre, ""He invited me into the house for a little bit. There he was with his tight little shorts, no shirt and his little red hat. He was doing some farming or something. He was covered in dirt. It was awesome."
On that note, 'till tomorrow...do something else? But come back tomorrow...PLEASE.
PS:
I really don't think I could live in LA with the way ESPN fits into daily life. Basketball games at 4PM? I need to get home from work, silly Digger! And PTI at 2:30? No wonder kids from LA here at Penn have some unfamiliarity with what I consider ESPN's #2 program, even in front of MNF, NFL Countdown, and College Gameday.
Anyways, all hope is lost for Syracuse basketball. WVU fucked them up on Sunday, and never has any team been slowed by the mixture of slime from Bob Huggins' hair and sweat from his suit (http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/2008/01/bob-huggins-lau.html). So where to go from here? Hell, I'm still going to watch every game and be just as much of a fan, but I think tournament is going to be a hard path to get on for this team. Donte was like Bob Dylan on Sunday: not there. 3-12 from the field and only 10 points? I don't think he is going to be thinking about going pro if he has another performance like that. Carmelo could afford it because he was always able to bounce back, never putting up less than 20 points in consecutive games (besides the beginning of the tournament). And Scoop, isn't it really easy to score 18 when no one is guarding you? Well, now people are guarding you, so you better get that jumper going. Rutgers comes to the Dome tonight, and god damn am I worried.
Playoffs! I was 1-4 on Conference Championship participants. My bad. I thought Indy learned their lesson last year on how to win in the playoffs, but I was wrong. They learned how to win as an underdog, not as an overrated team. And Phillip Rivers? DBOTY mean douche bag of the year, and I think you'll win it for 2008.
Oh, man! TO! I almost forgot, but you really can't. He actually supported his quarterback after a terrible performance! I thought the apocalypse was coming. TO? Supportive of a teammate? Only talking to a Mexican reporter about his injury who probably can't understand him (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN8MtNEpy9U)? Wow. But seriously. After bashing Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb, TO puts his support behind Romo, who definitely made a terrible decision in going to Cabo with Jessica Simpson and the rest of her family of idiots. And Jason Witten. Romo cried like a baby to the refs, yelled at his offensive line, and was basically ineffective in the second half. Eli outperformed him...yes, Eli Manning, and it was definitely the 40 second touchdown drive that tied the game with 7 seconds left in the first half that turned the tide.
But back to TO. He always gets the embarrassing defeat from Garcia and McNabb. TO's criticism of McNabb was completely hypocritical in blaming Don for the Super Bowl loss. How about thanking him for getting you to the Super Bowl? You certainly didn't help in the NFC playoffs, even if you did have a towel and stood on top of a bench waving it. You didn't play football. TO can't take over a playoff game, and unless he has a good quarterback (Tony Romo is NOT that guy), maybe he could win some games. Imagine if he did play the whole playoffs for the Eagles that year. They could have been even better together in the Super Bowl with some familiarity, and we'd be talking about an Eagles title. And the past two years, McNabb and Garcia, as Eagles quarterbacks, have terrorized Owens in games at Dallas. McNabb helped start the slide that led to Dallas' playoff exit this year with the 10-6 win in Week 15. And Garcia quarterbacked the blowout that made Tony Romo look like he needed more Pepsi Max last year. In conclusion, TO is not going to win a Super Bowl in Dallas unless Tony Romo is told to sit on a bonfire.
Everyone wants to write a movie about Brett Favre's season this year, so look for a script from Tony Kornheiser, Joe Buck, Mark Schlereth, and Sean Salisbury. Let's have the guys who directed Remember the Titans, Glory Road, We Are Marshall, and Radio direct it. It will be the biggest blockbuster in the history of sports movies. It will make Rocky look like he raped babies AND aborted fetuses. Look out for 2010's first hit movie, The Untitled Brett Favre Project, which will win 30 Oscars and get Jake Gyllenhaal his first Oscar and probably make people not think so much about Brokeback Mountain, but probably still think about Brokeback Mountain. Because JP Losman once said of Brett Favre, ""He invited me into the house for a little bit. There he was with his tight little shorts, no shirt and his little red hat. He was doing some farming or something. He was covered in dirt. It was awesome."
On that note, 'till tomorrow...do something else? But come back tomorrow...PLEASE.
PS:
Jan 7, 2008
in Good Hands™
It's the night before the Allstate BCS Championship Game, and you know something? Despite all the doomsday predictions, and despite the fact that the Buckeyes are going up against a loaded LSU team with scary parallels to last year's Gators (playing basically a home game), I still feel confident as an OSU fan. To answer the question frequently posed by Allstate: yes. Ohio State is in good hands with Jim Tressel.
Don't get me wrong, I watched the same game you did last year. I watched the Dream die, swimming in jungle juice, as Ohio State get curb-stomped by a faster, meaner, hungrier Florida team. It still hurts to think about: the pre-game buildup during that now-infamous 51-day layoff between V-UM Day and D-Day, the preemptive congratulatory phone calls after Ted Ginn's opening kickoff return, the first round of drinks to celebrate our good fortune. We were on top, we were golden, and Florida could start the buses. We chanted it to them, just to let them know.
And then, the undertow: Teddy goes down with the foot injury. Florida scores. Florida scores again. Nobody can tackle Megatron, Tim Tebow; meanwhile, Ohio State's front five look like matadors against Jarvis Moss and Florida's front four. Troy gets sacked, Troy fumbles, Troy gets picked. The all-too poignant halftime show, with the Ohio State marching band recreating the sinking of the Titanic- that invincible, perfect, glittering vessel that folded impossibly in the night.
In the high times leading up to that Monday night, there wasn't a soul on campus who would have even imagined the kind of spanking Florida would give us. Judging by the team's performance that night in Glendale, we fans weren't the only ones that bought into the relentless media hype. A paunchy Troy Smith clearly bought it, as did a lethargic Buckeye secondary (seriously, how do you get picked apart by Chris "Allen Strange" Leak?) It seemed, to our horror, that even the infallible Jim Tressel had bought into the hype, and as they say: Buy the ticket, take the ride.
http://vmedia.rivals.com/uploads/1004/36787.JPG
http://www.donandmurph.com/thejourneyofalenstrange.JPEG
My point is this: this year, Jim Tressel isn't buying it. This year, the media is selling the Buckeyes as no-names, as underdogs, as just happy to be there. It's true that this year's team lacks the star power of last year's. The important thing to realize is that after last year's shellacking, that's a good thing. This is a team built in Tressel's own image, a team that exudes quiet confidence in the face of a challenge, plays conservative, fundamental football, demands accountability for blown assignments, and stays humble. Last year's team relied on big names to make big plays in big situations. No one player has been asked to shoulder the load this year, and as a result, Tressel has been able to forge a squad that plays the truest form of team ball. In Jim Tressel's world, Faceless is good. Depth is good. Interchangeable is good. Flexibile is good. Etcetera. Ohio State lost 9 of its 11 defensive starters from last season, including the NFL-bound Quinn Pitcock. The result? A No. 1 ranked defense that has improved by nearly 50 yards per game while allowing only two rush TDs all season.
While this year's Tigers bear a striking resemblance to last year's Gators [a throwing quarterback (Flynn/Leak) and a running quarterback (Perilloux/Tebow) platooning in the backfield, a speedy wideout corps, a dynamic, often overlooked speed back (Holliday/Harvin), and a monster defensive lineman (Dorsey/Moss)], the overlooked truth is that this year's Buckeyes, although lacking the big-name offensive fireworks of last year's team (Smith/Ginn/Gonzalez/Pittman), is not only a more tightly-knit unit, but a better team altogether. (Insert "Creampuff Schedule" dissension here.)(Insert "seven, count 'em, seven, 20+ point blowouts, with the only loss to Rose Bowl-bound Illinois team" counterpoint here.)
There's no getting past the importance of team chemistry, which appears to be the reason that the '07 Bucks have excelled in the absence of NFL-caliber talent. (Ivan "I-Formation" Maisel wrote an article on this for the Worldwide Leader: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/bowls07/columns/story?columnist=maisel_ivan&id=3183084&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab2pos2). Last season, Tressel had to balance his responsibilities to the team's success (maintaining an undefeated season) with his responsibilities to the athletes he promised to take to the next level (making sure Smith, Ginn, etc. got enough attention/touches/pro-style game situations). This season, he has a locker room full of emerging leaders- maturing, team-first guys (Laurinitis, Beanie, Boeckman, Boone, Barton, and possibly Craig Biggio) who haven't hesitated to rise to the occasion, Boeckman's last two weeks notwithstanding.
We're one year removed from "41-14." It's easy to predict another speed-over-power SEC romp, especially in front of a Louisiana crowd. It takes no stretch of the imagination to picture a stoic Jim Tressel shaking hands with a fiery Les Miles after another Ohio State heartbreak. Which is exactly why I don't think anyone in the OSU locker room, least of all Jim Tressel, will let it happen.
Don't get me wrong, I watched the same game you did last year. I watched the Dream die, swimming in jungle juice, as Ohio State get curb-stomped by a faster, meaner, hungrier Florida team. It still hurts to think about: the pre-game buildup during that now-infamous 51-day layoff between V-UM Day and D-Day, the preemptive congratulatory phone calls after Ted Ginn's opening kickoff return, the first round of drinks to celebrate our good fortune. We were on top, we were golden, and Florida could start the buses. We chanted it to them, just to let them know.
And then, the undertow: Teddy goes down with the foot injury. Florida scores. Florida scores again. Nobody can tackle Megatron, Tim Tebow; meanwhile, Ohio State's front five look like matadors against Jarvis Moss and Florida's front four. Troy gets sacked, Troy fumbles, Troy gets picked. The all-too poignant halftime show, with the Ohio State marching band recreating the sinking of the Titanic- that invincible, perfect, glittering vessel that folded impossibly in the night.
In the high times leading up to that Monday night, there wasn't a soul on campus who would have even imagined the kind of spanking Florida would give us. Judging by the team's performance that night in Glendale, we fans weren't the only ones that bought into the relentless media hype. A paunchy Troy Smith clearly bought it, as did a lethargic Buckeye secondary (seriously, how do you get picked apart by Chris "Allen Strange" Leak?) It seemed, to our horror, that even the infallible Jim Tressel had bought into the hype, and as they say: Buy the ticket, take the ride.
http://vmedia.rivals.com/uploads/1004/36787.JPG
http://www.donandmurph.com/thejourneyofalenstrange.JPEG
My point is this: this year, Jim Tressel isn't buying it. This year, the media is selling the Buckeyes as no-names, as underdogs, as just happy to be there. It's true that this year's team lacks the star power of last year's. The important thing to realize is that after last year's shellacking, that's a good thing. This is a team built in Tressel's own image, a team that exudes quiet confidence in the face of a challenge, plays conservative, fundamental football, demands accountability for blown assignments, and stays humble. Last year's team relied on big names to make big plays in big situations. No one player has been asked to shoulder the load this year, and as a result, Tressel has been able to forge a squad that plays the truest form of team ball. In Jim Tressel's world, Faceless is good. Depth is good. Interchangeable is good. Flexibile is good. Etcetera. Ohio State lost 9 of its 11 defensive starters from last season, including the NFL-bound Quinn Pitcock. The result? A No. 1 ranked defense that has improved by nearly 50 yards per game while allowing only two rush TDs all season.
While this year's Tigers bear a striking resemblance to last year's Gators [a throwing quarterback (Flynn/Leak) and a running quarterback (Perilloux/Tebow) platooning in the backfield, a speedy wideout corps, a dynamic, often overlooked speed back (Holliday/Harvin), and a monster defensive lineman (Dorsey/Moss)], the overlooked truth is that this year's Buckeyes, although lacking the big-name offensive fireworks of last year's team (Smith/Ginn/Gonzalez/Pittman), is not only a more tightly-knit unit, but a better team altogether. (Insert "Creampuff Schedule" dissension here.)(Insert "seven, count 'em, seven, 20+ point blowouts, with the only loss to Rose Bowl-bound Illinois team" counterpoint here.)
There's no getting past the importance of team chemistry, which appears to be the reason that the '07 Bucks have excelled in the absence of NFL-caliber talent. (Ivan "I-Formation" Maisel wrote an article on this for the Worldwide Leader: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/bowls07/columns/story?columnist=maisel_ivan&id=3183084&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab2pos2). Last season, Tressel had to balance his responsibilities to the team's success (maintaining an undefeated season) with his responsibilities to the athletes he promised to take to the next level (making sure Smith, Ginn, etc. got enough attention/touches/pro-style game situations). This season, he has a locker room full of emerging leaders- maturing, team-first guys (Laurinitis, Beanie, Boeckman, Boone, Barton, and possibly Craig Biggio) who haven't hesitated to rise to the occasion, Boeckman's last two weeks notwithstanding.
We're one year removed from "41-14." It's easy to predict another speed-over-power SEC romp, especially in front of a Louisiana crowd. It takes no stretch of the imagination to picture a stoic Jim Tressel shaking hands with a fiery Les Miles after another Ohio State heartbreak. Which is exactly why I don't think anyone in the OSU locker room, least of all Jim Tressel, will let it happen.
Jan 3, 2008
Ever scalp a ticket from an old white woman? I didn't think so...
What a crappy Syracuse win. St. John's showed what you need to do to beat this team: foul trouble. With Donte out, 'Cuse couldn't ever get 3 points on a possession because Johnny Flynn, the only guy on the team who could make a 3 refused to shoot one after Donte got his 4th foul; and whenever Arinze got fouled making a shot, he immediately bricked the free throw. The reason Syracuse managed to win was that Arinze could score at will. 11-15 from the field is some terribly good numbers. When they have to rely on him in the Big East, they could run into trouble as he goes up against bigger centers like Hibbert and Caracter. In that case, Johnny is going to have to switch to being score-first. He is quick enough and can pull up on a dime, but he always passes unless the shot clock is running down. If he isn't aggressive the rest of the year, don't look for any Syracuse tourney talk.
And Anthony Mason, Jr. is just his dad's face with a completely different game. Really skilled and big enough at 6'7", but he has to put up bigger numbers if he is going to get to the NBA.
I also have to say I'm quite opposed to the ticket prices I encountered at the Dome. $28 for St. John's? We almost couldn't go, but luckily a woman (title character of this entry) approached us asking, "Looking for tickets?" Not how one imagines a scalper after having gone to many Philadelphia sporting events in the past two years, but she did actually show me the tickets, one thing scalpers don't usually do, and she even promised to sell them for face value, which was only $25. We ended up sitting in the corner near the Syracuse bench in the first row, right near where the players enter from the locker room. Probably the best job I've done scalping in my life.
On to the Quakers. FireGlenMiller.com will be up by the end of the month. I would have given him two extra weeks with a victory at Miami, with the Hurricanes out of the Top 25 and pissed after losing its first of the year to Winthrop (yeah, that Winthrop with Taj McCullough that won a tourney game last year). What better whooping post than Penn, who fell to 4-9 with the loss? None. FireGlenMiller.com countdown is now at 28 days.
Last night, after I got back from the game, my buddy Steve came over and we opened up what turned out to be a gem from days past: a little VHS called Boeheim on Basketball. We weren't sure of its power, but it sure was powerful: Boeheim hitting 30 straight free throws and trash talking Sherman Douglas and Herman Harried. The best quote: "When our big guys get fouled, I should come in and shoot for them." It also includes some stereotypes of instructional films from that era (think Baseball World's Defensive Drills by Tom Emanski), including: MC Hammer instrumentals, Harried sporting a blonde horn at the front of his head, ridiculous freeze frames, Boeheim fighting wind in the intro so as to have the Dome in the background, and some ridiculous film technique by the camera operator, who we guessed was Bernie Fine. During the aforementioned intro, Boeheim said the video would teach fundamentals, as Sherman Douglas through a full court pass as if he were a long-snapper and dished out behind-the-back passes. There was also a section dedicated to the alley-oop. Who else would narrate but Doug Logan.
West Virginia was downright nasty in the Fiesta Bowl. Oklahoma should never go back to Tempe if they can. They fell victim to a Cinderella story one year, and then they give a guy his job this year. Congrats to Bill Stewart for earning his job and making Rich Rodriguez look like a punk. I bet West Virginians are hoping that Stewart retains Rodriguez's staff that he hasn't hired yet at Michigan. The Mountaineers definitely look like title contenders next year, and I don't think their coach will throw the Backyard Brawl next year to get another job and betray his alma ma...oh, he went to Fairmont State. The Pat White endorsement after the game was also a good signal for the future. Stewart has worked with White the past four years, and I expect him to not make the jump (Slaton too) after the athletic department granted his request.
And Anthony Mason, Jr. is just his dad's face with a completely different game. Really skilled and big enough at 6'7", but he has to put up bigger numbers if he is going to get to the NBA.
I also have to say I'm quite opposed to the ticket prices I encountered at the Dome. $28 for St. John's? We almost couldn't go, but luckily a woman (title character of this entry) approached us asking, "Looking for tickets?" Not how one imagines a scalper after having gone to many Philadelphia sporting events in the past two years, but she did actually show me the tickets, one thing scalpers don't usually do, and she even promised to sell them for face value, which was only $25. We ended up sitting in the corner near the Syracuse bench in the first row, right near where the players enter from the locker room. Probably the best job I've done scalping in my life.
On to the Quakers. FireGlenMiller.com will be up by the end of the month. I would have given him two extra weeks with a victory at Miami, with the Hurricanes out of the Top 25 and pissed after losing its first of the year to Winthrop (yeah, that Winthrop with Taj McCullough that won a tourney game last year). What better whooping post than Penn, who fell to 4-9 with the loss? None. FireGlenMiller.com countdown is now at 28 days.
Last night, after I got back from the game, my buddy Steve came over and we opened up what turned out to be a gem from days past: a little VHS called Boeheim on Basketball. We weren't sure of its power, but it sure was powerful: Boeheim hitting 30 straight free throws and trash talking Sherman Douglas and Herman Harried. The best quote: "When our big guys get fouled, I should come in and shoot for them." It also includes some stereotypes of instructional films from that era (think Baseball World's Defensive Drills by Tom Emanski), including: MC Hammer instrumentals, Harried sporting a blonde horn at the front of his head, ridiculous freeze frames, Boeheim fighting wind in the intro so as to have the Dome in the background, and some ridiculous film technique by the camera operator, who we guessed was Bernie Fine. During the aforementioned intro, Boeheim said the video would teach fundamentals, as Sherman Douglas through a full court pass as if he were a long-snapper and dished out behind-the-back passes. There was also a section dedicated to the alley-oop. Who else would narrate but Doug Logan.
West Virginia was downright nasty in the Fiesta Bowl. Oklahoma should never go back to Tempe if they can. They fell victim to a Cinderella story one year, and then they give a guy his job this year. Congrats to Bill Stewart for earning his job and making Rich Rodriguez look like a punk. I bet West Virginians are hoping that Stewart retains Rodriguez's staff that he hasn't hired yet at Michigan. The Mountaineers definitely look like title contenders next year, and I don't think their coach will throw the Backyard Brawl next year to get another job and betray his alma ma...oh, he went to Fairmont State. The Pat White endorsement after the game was also a good signal for the future. Stewart has worked with White the past four years, and I expect him to not make the jump (Slaton too) after the athletic department granted his request.
Dec 31, 2007
A Few Things Before '07 Becomes '08
I do have a few things to get off my chest (that is what she said). First, the blog will be nasty starting next year, it's one of my few resolutions for the New Year. Second, this list:
1.) http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/boxscore?gameId=273630526
I hope no one bought the website FireGlenMiller.com yet, because I'm about to. A year ago this was a preseason opponent transitioning to D-1 that you almost put up 100 on, and this year you can't even put up 10 in the first 20 minutes against this team? 3 straight losses to start the year out against Drexel, Loyola MD, and Howard, falling to 4-7 before this game, and then losing it. Miller has a lot of making up to do, even with Tommy McMahon and Darren Smith out all year and Brian Grandieri playing on a torn meniscus, this game should have been a gimme. Here's my ultimatum: I'll take down the website (hopefully soon-to-be-made) if Penn puts up an undefeated Ivy season, but keep it available to be put back up if he can't win a tournament game. He came to Penn to win a tourney game, and instead this team regresses to losing to Florida Gulf Coast, whose white guys all look like they were members of Creed. The most telling stat of the game: Penn had a points-to-turnover ratio of 30 to 34. When you get more turnovers than points, that is what you call a disaster game, something that Fran Dunphy didn't have and I'm pretty sure Chuck Daly didn't either.
2.) Syracuse basketball can do whatever the hell it wants the rest of the season. I don't expect them to have a very easy time playing Georgetown and Villanova twice, plus making trips to West Virginia, Louisville, and Notre Dame, plus welcoming Pitt and Marquette to the Dome. Andy Rautins and Eric Devendorf being out was pretty much the worst possible thing that could happen to this team. Donte and Johnny will be able to take over the scoring load, but not having both of these shooters will have its effects late in games. Plus, Devo and Rautins being gone leave SU with no scholarship guards on the bench, and while walk-on Justin Thomas will be stepping in a little more, it still means NO BACKCOURT DEPTH. The one good thing that comes out of this is that Scoop Jardine is going to get a lot of experience and who knows, maybe next year Boeheim will be able to 4-guard it with Rautins, Devo, Scoop, and Johnny like Jay Wright did with...scratch that, let's just pray Donte is ( and he should be) back for next year.
3.) http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=271216017
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, TOM BRADY? DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT THIS WAS THE FANTASY SEMIS? I LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN IDIOT BECAUSE OF YOU. I'VE GOT A CHANCE TO WIN A TITLE, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU PUT UP THE BIGGEST FANTASY CHOKE JOB IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME! NO ONE HAS EVER CHOKED AS HARD IN THE FANTASY PLAYOFFS AS YOU. YOU WERE GREAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING SEASON, AND NOW? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU DID THE REST OF THE SEASON! NOW I GET NO FUCKING GLORY. SO, TO ROUND THINGS UP, FUCK YOU TOM BRADY!
4.) The Mitchell Report was dope, lol.
5.) NBA Finals 2008: Nuggets in 6 over the Pistons.
6.) NFL Playoffs:
NFC Wild Card:
'Skins over Seattle. I believe in the spirit of 21...
Bucs over Giants. Good D is always good in the playoffs, and so is consistent Jeff Garcia offense against the Giants D (See: http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=270107021)
NFC Divisional:
Packers over 'Skins. ...falling short in power to the spirit of the Fav-ruh
Cowboys over Bucs. Romo and his lack of performance for the ladies (may I suggest some Cialis? Levitra?) will not be an issue because Jerry Jones, looking to harvest another skin to wear over his own, threw Jessica Simpson to the bottom of a well his house is built over. If the lotion is Proactiv, I expect Jessica to not ever get the hose but continue to talk about how good it is and how bad her skin used to break out, leading to Jones shooting himself in the head, but not until after the Cowboys win. Also, to keep up appearances, Jones had someone wear his "regular skin" to the game and had that person patrol the sidelines.
NFC Championship:
Packers over Cowboys. Romo is shown to be a fake spirit of the Fav-ruh by the real Fav-ruh, leading to his disintegration a la Nazis seeing the inside of the Lost Ark. Only TO is able to look away, but he is immediately shot by Garret Reid.
AFC Wild Card:
Chargers over Titans. Just a bit too easy for the Bolts, like Keith Bulluck said, the Titans are "The NFL's Team of the Future," so give them a little bit. And yes, I am doubting Vince Young's resourcefulness. Defenses are playing him to deplete his resources a la the aliens in Independence Day and he hasn't ran for 100 yards in a game this year. The Chargers were especially good against him, forcing him to throw 2 picks and run for only 2 yards on 2 attempts.
Jaguars over Steelers. Jags are for real. Killer D, killer run game, and a quarterback who makes mistakes as often as the Pope gets laid: rarely.
AFC Divisional:
Colts over Chargers. Starvin' Marvin wasn't really back, but what if this extra week off was just what he needed? Reggie Wayne is at the top of his game, Other Tony Gonzalez is starting to hit his groove, and now you can't even pay me enough to play in a secondary against the Colts. Even without Harrison, the lightning bolt blood will flow, and so would the blood of a certain group of deities if they got to this game.
Jags over Pats. I'm probably underestimating the Pats in this game, but I still want Brady to get his head ripped off on a sack and only have a 5 yard facemask called. And I also think the Jags look like money.
AFC Championship:
Colts over Jags. BARELY. Both teams are about to be on a roll coming into this game, and it will be a pretty damn good Sunday if America receives the two championship games I have stupidly foreseen. Vinatieri as time expires.
Super Bowl: Colts over Packers. Spirit of the Fav-ruh meets the Manning machine, and science beats religion in a battle for the ages. Yes, an entertaining game to go with entertaining commercials.
7.) If I'm a GM for the next 5 years in the NFL, I'm doing two things:
1) Bringing Pacman back to play safety
2) Bringing Vick back to be a holder. But during practice, a pack of wild dogs will be brought in to try to block field goals.
8.) Men's College Midseason Awards:
Player of the Half-Season: Tyler Hansbrough, UNC
Well, he's just been too damn good and so has his team.
Freshman of the Half-Season: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
Besides the anomaly that was a lost to "Stone Cold" Stephen F. Austin University, Blake has been pretty good. He was limited to 8 and 4 points respectively in losses to Memphis and USC earlier in the year, but he started having some solid games, including 15 points and 14 boards in a win over Gonzaga and 18 and 16 in a win over West Virginia. A pretty good roll to be on with the Big 12 coming around.
Coach of the Half-Season: Brian Gregory, Dayton
He should thank Brian Roberts for putting up 29.5 PPG in two wins over ranked Big East teams Louisville and Pittsburgh, but still, who would have thought?
Happy New Year to all from the Buzzer
EEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1.) http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/boxscore?gameId=273630526
I hope no one bought the website FireGlenMiller.com yet, because I'm about to. A year ago this was a preseason opponent transitioning to D-1 that you almost put up 100 on, and this year you can't even put up 10 in the first 20 minutes against this team? 3 straight losses to start the year out against Drexel, Loyola MD, and Howard, falling to 4-7 before this game, and then losing it. Miller has a lot of making up to do, even with Tommy McMahon and Darren Smith out all year and Brian Grandieri playing on a torn meniscus, this game should have been a gimme. Here's my ultimatum: I'll take down the website (hopefully soon-to-be-made) if Penn puts up an undefeated Ivy season, but keep it available to be put back up if he can't win a tournament game. He came to Penn to win a tourney game, and instead this team regresses to losing to Florida Gulf Coast, whose white guys all look like they were members of Creed. The most telling stat of the game: Penn had a points-to-turnover ratio of 30 to 34. When you get more turnovers than points, that is what you call a disaster game, something that Fran Dunphy didn't have and I'm pretty sure Chuck Daly didn't either.
2.) Syracuse basketball can do whatever the hell it wants the rest of the season. I don't expect them to have a very easy time playing Georgetown and Villanova twice, plus making trips to West Virginia, Louisville, and Notre Dame, plus welcoming Pitt and Marquette to the Dome. Andy Rautins and Eric Devendorf being out was pretty much the worst possible thing that could happen to this team. Donte and Johnny will be able to take over the scoring load, but not having both of these shooters will have its effects late in games. Plus, Devo and Rautins being gone leave SU with no scholarship guards on the bench, and while walk-on Justin Thomas will be stepping in a little more, it still means NO BACKCOURT DEPTH. The one good thing that comes out of this is that Scoop Jardine is going to get a lot of experience and who knows, maybe next year Boeheim will be able to 4-guard it with Rautins, Devo, Scoop, and Johnny like Jay Wright did with...scratch that, let's just pray Donte is ( and he should be) back for next year.
3.) http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=271216017
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, TOM BRADY? DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT THIS WAS THE FANTASY SEMIS? I LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN IDIOT BECAUSE OF YOU. I'VE GOT A CHANCE TO WIN A TITLE, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU PUT UP THE BIGGEST FANTASY CHOKE JOB IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME! NO ONE HAS EVER CHOKED AS HARD IN THE FANTASY PLAYOFFS AS YOU. YOU WERE GREAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING SEASON, AND NOW? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU DID THE REST OF THE SEASON! NOW I GET NO FUCKING GLORY. SO, TO ROUND THINGS UP, FUCK YOU TOM BRADY!
4.) The Mitchell Report was dope, lol.
5.) NBA Finals 2008: Nuggets in 6 over the Pistons.
6.) NFL Playoffs:
NFC Wild Card:
'Skins over Seattle. I believe in the spirit of 21...
Bucs over Giants. Good D is always good in the playoffs, and so is consistent Jeff Garcia offense against the Giants D (See: http://scores.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=270107021)
NFC Divisional:
Packers over 'Skins. ...falling short in power to the spirit of the Fav-ruh
Cowboys over Bucs. Romo and his lack of performance for the ladies (may I suggest some Cialis? Levitra?) will not be an issue because Jerry Jones, looking to harvest another skin to wear over his own, threw Jessica Simpson to the bottom of a well his house is built over. If the lotion is Proactiv, I expect Jessica to not ever get the hose but continue to talk about how good it is and how bad her skin used to break out, leading to Jones shooting himself in the head, but not until after the Cowboys win. Also, to keep up appearances, Jones had someone wear his "regular skin" to the game and had that person patrol the sidelines.
NFC Championship:
Packers over Cowboys. Romo is shown to be a fake spirit of the Fav-ruh by the real Fav-ruh, leading to his disintegration a la Nazis seeing the inside of the Lost Ark. Only TO is able to look away, but he is immediately shot by Garret Reid.
AFC Wild Card:
Chargers over Titans. Just a bit too easy for the Bolts, like Keith Bulluck said, the Titans are "The NFL's Team of the Future," so give them a little bit. And yes, I am doubting Vince Young's resourcefulness. Defenses are playing him to deplete his resources a la the aliens in Independence Day and he hasn't ran for 100 yards in a game this year. The Chargers were especially good against him, forcing him to throw 2 picks and run for only 2 yards on 2 attempts.
Jaguars over Steelers. Jags are for real. Killer D, killer run game, and a quarterback who makes mistakes as often as the Pope gets laid: rarely.
AFC Divisional:
Colts over Chargers. Starvin' Marvin wasn't really back, but what if this extra week off was just what he needed? Reggie Wayne is at the top of his game, Other Tony Gonzalez is starting to hit his groove, and now you can't even pay me enough to play in a secondary against the Colts. Even without Harrison, the lightning bolt blood will flow, and so would the blood of a certain group of deities if they got to this game.
Jags over Pats. I'm probably underestimating the Pats in this game, but I still want Brady to get his head ripped off on a sack and only have a 5 yard facemask called. And I also think the Jags look like money.
AFC Championship:
Colts over Jags. BARELY. Both teams are about to be on a roll coming into this game, and it will be a pretty damn good Sunday if America receives the two championship games I have stupidly foreseen. Vinatieri as time expires.
Super Bowl: Colts over Packers. Spirit of the Fav-ruh meets the Manning machine, and science beats religion in a battle for the ages. Yes, an entertaining game to go with entertaining commercials.
7.) If I'm a GM for the next 5 years in the NFL, I'm doing two things:
1) Bringing Pacman back to play safety
2) Bringing Vick back to be a holder. But during practice, a pack of wild dogs will be brought in to try to block field goals.
8.) Men's College Midseason Awards:
Player of the Half-Season: Tyler Hansbrough, UNC
Well, he's just been too damn good and so has his team.
Freshman of the Half-Season: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
Besides the anomaly that was a lost to "Stone Cold" Stephen F. Austin University, Blake has been pretty good. He was limited to 8 and 4 points respectively in losses to Memphis and USC earlier in the year, but he started having some solid games, including 15 points and 14 boards in a win over Gonzaga and 18 and 16 in a win over West Virginia. A pretty good roll to be on with the Big 12 coming around.
Coach of the Half-Season: Brian Gregory, Dayton
He should thank Brian Roberts for putting up 29.5 PPG in two wins over ranked Big East teams Louisville and Pittsburgh, but still, who would have thought?
Happy New Year to all from the Buzzer
EEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Dec 14, 2007
Jerry Rice Now Thinks He's Babe Ruth
And I can see his point, but this?
"The only thing that bothers me a little bit is that I did it during the strike year," Rice said. "It was 12 games for me. If he had done it in 12 games, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. But I'm still going to congratulate him and do all of that.
"But I'm surprised the league is taking it upon themselves to give him 16 games to do it."
It's great that you did that with Steve Young AND Joe Montana and whatnot. But I didn't see Babe Ruth jump out of his grave calling Roger Maris a bitch. You're a great receiver, but there are sometimes when you shouldn't be an asshole. Also, you had FIFTEEN games, but you sat out two, Jerry. You should have played those 3 so you could have had 30 touchdowns and then we wouldn't have this problem. And for good measure, I give you just the good ol' boys that never mean no harm but one of them has been arrested multiple times, and he ran tha traffic cop over by accident...MAGWA!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJruSDnAVrg
"The only thing that bothers me a little bit is that I did it during the strike year," Rice said. "It was 12 games for me. If he had done it in 12 games, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. But I'm still going to congratulate him and do all of that.
"But I'm surprised the league is taking it upon themselves to give him 16 games to do it."
It's great that you did that with Steve Young AND Joe Montana and whatnot. But I didn't see Babe Ruth jump out of his grave calling Roger Maris a bitch. You're a great receiver, but there are sometimes when you shouldn't be an asshole. Also, you had FIFTEEN games, but you sat out two, Jerry. You should have played those 3 so you could have had 30 touchdowns and then we wouldn't have this problem. And for good measure, I give you just the good ol' boys that never mean no harm but one of them has been arrested multiple times, and he ran tha traffic cop over by accident...MAGWA!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJruSDnAVrg
Dec 9, 2007
Tony Siragusa is NOT Smarter Than a 5th Grader
Well, if Mike Ditka's group of retired players is looking for evidence supporting their claim that the NFL Players' Union needs to take care of retired players, it was Tony Siragusa after a promo for "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" during Eagles-Giants. Here are his words:
"I got a daughter in 5th grade, and sometimes, she brings in questions, and I just have no idea."
Brain damage in retired NFL players is a serious thing. Gene Upshaw needs to take this occurence seriously, because who knows how dumb the next generation of retired giant defensive lineman who can't fit in a broadcasting booth and stand next to the field and interrupt the regular play-by-play and color guy at strange times will be.
"I got a daughter in 5th grade, and sometimes, she brings in questions, and I just have no idea."
Brain damage in retired NFL players is a serious thing. Gene Upshaw needs to take this occurence seriously, because who knows how dumb the next generation of retired giant defensive lineman who can't fit in a broadcasting booth and stand next to the field and interrupt the regular play-by-play and color guy at strange times will be.
Dec 8, 2007
No Silver Lining for Orange and other stuff
Well, big win at Virginia where Sean Singletary had the strangest set of symptoms. Could have lost to the Hoos, but everyone made shots when they had to late to get the win. Today was another story, and all I can say is that I can't watch the game because it was regional (I will find a bar to watch those games at.). But TWO A-10 teams, Rhode Island and UMass? Not the best resume features looking for an at-large bid. A need for some return to Big East dominance is surely needed.
I think the record for number of sets of brothers playing in a game was set today when Indiana welcomed Kentucky to Assembly Hall. Mike and DJ both suited up for Indiana, while Joe and Jordan Crawford had their parents mismatching apparel from both schools for the Wildcats and the Hoosiers, respectively. Jordan, the younger of the two, doubled his brother point total with 20, and the Hoosiers ran away with it, 70-51. DJ White was a little underfed in the post going against a pretty terrible Kentucky frontline (Patrick Patterson needs some time before he can dominate players with DJ's experience.), and he only had six shots after 25 minutes? Him getting fed regularly in the post and high post is definitely going to be essential to any Indiana success.
And Kentucky fans? Please don't be discouraged by the loss to Gardner-Webb and this slow start. Think about what Tubby Smith did in his first year with Rick Pitino's talent. This is what Gillispie is doing with Tubby's talent, so give him a few years to get his pieces in place.
I think McFadden should have been given the Heisman, but I also don't get a vote. Tebow did have a record-setting season, but McFadden beat the #1 team in the country, and now its the #2. Because of this voting result, the Cotton Bowl is going to be damn good. McFadden and Chase Daniel are both going to be pretty pissed about not winning the Heisman so they'll each try to have big games, McFadden probably more so since he had a better year this year than last, when he also finished second. And the win over LSU definitely seemed like icing on the cake.
I'm out like J-Kidd with a migraine.
I think the record for number of sets of brothers playing in a game was set today when Indiana welcomed Kentucky to Assembly Hall. Mike and DJ both suited up for Indiana, while Joe and Jordan Crawford had their parents mismatching apparel from both schools for the Wildcats and the Hoosiers, respectively. Jordan, the younger of the two, doubled his brother point total with 20, and the Hoosiers ran away with it, 70-51. DJ White was a little underfed in the post going against a pretty terrible Kentucky frontline (Patrick Patterson needs some time before he can dominate players with DJ's experience.), and he only had six shots after 25 minutes? Him getting fed regularly in the post and high post is definitely going to be essential to any Indiana success.
And Kentucky fans? Please don't be discouraged by the loss to Gardner-Webb and this slow start. Think about what Tubby Smith did in his first year with Rick Pitino's talent. This is what Gillispie is doing with Tubby's talent, so give him a few years to get his pieces in place.
I think McFadden should have been given the Heisman, but I also don't get a vote. Tebow did have a record-setting season, but McFadden beat the #1 team in the country, and now its the #2. Because of this voting result, the Cotton Bowl is going to be damn good. McFadden and Chase Daniel are both going to be pretty pissed about not winning the Heisman so they'll each try to have big games, McFadden probably more so since he had a better year this year than last, when he also finished second. And the win over LSU definitely seemed like icing on the cake.
I'm out like J-Kidd with a migraine.
Nov 24, 2007
Paul Harris needs some protection
If one player is victimized by refs for being physically imnposing, it has to be Paul. He might need to play some Nintendo DS to improve his basketball IQ, but Paul doesn't get any breaks from the refs. Last year it was the out-of-the-blue technical fouls that were commonplace, but he hasn't been called for one yet. But officials still treat him differently. Two instances in today's 'Cuse victory over the Washington Huskies made me know this is some truth:
1.) Watching Quincy Pondexter proceed to push Paul Harris out of bounds to get a defensive rebound. Not box out, literally turn and push.
2.) A phantom offensive foul call where Harris jump-stopped into a banked jumper and a flop by Justin Dentmon were enough to warrant the call.
So Tim Higgins, Ted Valentine, and whoever else officiates in the Big East, give Paul a chance. He isn't the Juggernaut running through walls and sending people hundreds of feet when he runs into them because mutants don't exist. He just happens to be a little stronger than the guys he's going up against, but he isn't going to kill anyone.
1.) Watching Quincy Pondexter proceed to push Paul Harris out of bounds to get a defensive rebound. Not box out, literally turn and push.
2.) A phantom offensive foul call where Harris jump-stopped into a banked jumper and a flop by Justin Dentmon were enough to warrant the call.
So Tim Higgins, Ted Valentine, and whoever else officiates in the Big East, give Paul a chance. He isn't the Juggernaut running through walls and sending people hundreds of feet when he runs into them because mutants don't exist. He just happens to be a little stronger than the guys he's going up against, but he isn't going to kill anyone.
Nov 14, 2007
Great News for Penn Basketball
As UPenn moves eastward, Penn Basketball, already oh-so fan friendly, adds the element that could make the Palestra turn into one of the best venues ever (and maybe even add some decibels at Penn football games): tailgating
(http://media.www.dailypennsylvanian.com/media/storage/paper882/news/2007/10/19/News/Looking.Ahead.An.Overview.Of.The.Upcoming.University.Expansion-3044163.shtml). The proposed Franklin Field Pavilion and Palestra Green would give fans a place to gather for barbecues and booze before watching their beloved Quakers go out of character to fight an opponent. It's an essential element of schools like Maryland and Texas, so why not give us a chance to not have a chance to walk it off on our way to the game? The crowds will be rowdier, and it will definitely make the atmosphere much more intimidating for visitors. So kudos to you, Penn architect David Hollenberg, for making this possible.
(Sorry about the links, I'm writing this on my Mac and for some reason I'm not allowed to blog nice like I do on a PC. What a bitch.)
(http://media.www.dailypennsylvanian.com/media/storage/paper882/news/2007/10/19/News/Looking.Ahead.An.Overview.Of.The.Upcoming.University.Expansion-3044163.shtml). The proposed Franklin Field Pavilion and Palestra Green would give fans a place to gather for barbecues and booze before watching their beloved Quakers go out of character to fight an opponent. It's an essential element of schools like Maryland and Texas, so why not give us a chance to not have a chance to walk it off on our way to the game? The crowds will be rowdier, and it will definitely make the atmosphere much more intimidating for visitors. So kudos to you, Penn architect David Hollenberg, for making this possible.
(Sorry about the links, I'm writing this on my Mac and for some reason I'm not allowed to blog nice like I do on a PC. What a bitch.)
Syracuse Survives, and So Do the Bones in my Hand
Well, after falling into a 10-0 hole, Jonny Flynn completed my redemption from my promise to punch a hole into a wall with a 3 with 5.3 seconds left to give 'Cuse a 72-69 double-you. Flynn was not rattled when he had the chance to win on a very deep 3, and I have never been more excited about a team because of that. Flynn was able to forget about his 0-5 night from the field (he still had some great assists, including one behind some dude's back to Donte).
That St. Joe's team was poised for an upset (funny note: I watched the game with a St. Joe's fan and a UConn fan, which was one Georgetown fan away from the triumvirate that makes Syracuse basketball get pissed off (if they were playing UConn, a UConn fan would replace the St. Joe's fan)), and Pat Calathes had a great game going for 22 and 8. However, Ahmad Nivins was somehow completely baffled by the collapsing double team that came his way whenever he got the ball in the post, causing him to have more turnovers (4) than points (3).
And when Jimmy B called Paul Harris a son of a bitch as he went to shake Phil Martelli's hand, he had reason to ignore his 18 points and 14 rebounds. Harris basically ruined the beginning of the game with two terrible travels, one as he caught a pass at the 3-point line and got into the triple threat, and the other as he went to elevate. And then to end the game, he basically let Calathes catch that ball for the possible tying basket. Harris has looked pretty careless this year, and if SU wants to move up the polls, he needs to get his game under control and cut down turnovers and bad shots.
Otherwise, Donte looked pretty good, and Arinze was a monster everywhere but three very important places: the free-throw line, defensive rebounding, and shot blocking. Mookie is playing for the Kings right now because he could be active in one of those categories every night, but I'm not sure Arinze can do much with the shot-blocking, so he needs to get defensive rebounds, especially in the zone. Also, there was next to no bench production tonight, which needs to start existing if this team wants to win in the Big East. Ongenaet, Jackson, and Jardine need to start contributing against Ohio State next Wednesday, and they will have time to get ready for that when Fordham comes to the Dome on Friday.
And, kudos to Jonny Flynn for the new title holder of "best sentence uttered in a post-game interview as he said to Syracuse's Gene Waldron, "I kept turning the corner off screens and finding my...niggas."
As Sunday comes so does the Buzzer Dubs Weekly College Basketball Report Card Summary of News, including the Dubs Top 25.
That St. Joe's team was poised for an upset (funny note: I watched the game with a St. Joe's fan and a UConn fan, which was one Georgetown fan away from the triumvirate that makes Syracuse basketball get pissed off (if they were playing UConn, a UConn fan would replace the St. Joe's fan)), and Pat Calathes had a great game going for 22 and 8. However, Ahmad Nivins was somehow completely baffled by the collapsing double team that came his way whenever he got the ball in the post, causing him to have more turnovers (4) than points (3).
And when Jimmy B called Paul Harris a son of a bitch as he went to shake Phil Martelli's hand, he had reason to ignore his 18 points and 14 rebounds. Harris basically ruined the beginning of the game with two terrible travels, one as he caught a pass at the 3-point line and got into the triple threat, and the other as he went to elevate. And then to end the game, he basically let Calathes catch that ball for the possible tying basket. Harris has looked pretty careless this year, and if SU wants to move up the polls, he needs to get his game under control and cut down turnovers and bad shots.
Otherwise, Donte looked pretty good, and Arinze was a monster everywhere but three very important places: the free-throw line, defensive rebounding, and shot blocking. Mookie is playing for the Kings right now because he could be active in one of those categories every night, but I'm not sure Arinze can do much with the shot-blocking, so he needs to get defensive rebounds, especially in the zone. Also, there was next to no bench production tonight, which needs to start existing if this team wants to win in the Big East. Ongenaet, Jackson, and Jardine need to start contributing against Ohio State next Wednesday, and they will have time to get ready for that when Fordham comes to the Dome on Friday.
And, kudos to Jonny Flynn for the new title holder of "best sentence uttered in a post-game interview as he said to Syracuse's Gene Waldron, "I kept turning the corner off screens and finding my...niggas."
As Sunday comes so does the Buzzer Dubs Weekly College Basketball Report Card Summary of News, including the Dubs Top 25.
Nov 12, 2007
Jewish Jordan Spreads his False Righteousness
On Saturday morning I attended Orthodox services at Penn Hillel to celebrate my brother's aufruf (pronounced "oof-roof") the day before his wedding, and a former media darling happened to be in attendance by the name of Tamir Goodman. You may remember him as the Orthodox Jew who could light it up, averaging 35 points a game as a junior at Talmudical Academy in Baltimore. Gary Williams offered him a scholarship as he continued to tear up Jewish and non-Jewish competition alike. He had to give back the scholarship because Williams could not make accommodations for Goodman to not play on Saturdays, which lead to a spot on the Towson Tigers, a low-major program. After a year of what some considered completely missing expectations, Tamir claimed he jumped at the contract offer he received from Maccabi Tel-Aviv, fulfilling his dream to play in Israel. However, the conditions that the team had taken in Goodman were hurting the team as Goodman played terribly. Coach Mike Hunt was a little ridiculous in throwing a chair at Goodman, but he had his reasons. If Goodman had played as well as he did in high school, I think Hunt would have kept up the agreement, or just let them schedule games he couldn't play in on Saturday. And I almost neglected to mention that Goodman's time in Israel had been even more underwhelming, as he found no playing time, even when he was playing for second division teams over there. I don't want to sound like an anti-Semite, especially because I am Jewish, but Tamir just was never that good. But now some professional team has signed him in the US (he wouldn't disclose it, but it is definitely not an NBA team, and he told me it isn't an ABA team, which are known for promotions like naming a team the Atlanta Krunk), and the team has agreed to not play games Friday night or Saturday. Hopefully he can redeem himself, give us Jews some street cred, and not get a chair thrown at him.
Oct 30, 2007
NBA Begins Anew with Donaghy Headed to a Jail Cell
Best part of the night so far: The Rockets and Lakers benches standing up for a really long time at the beginning of the game, waiting for their respective teams to put in their respective first points of the season. Check this out: http://scores.espn.go.com/nba/playbyplay?gameId=271030013&period=1
As you can see, it takes a while for the bold print (aka made basket) to appear as you scroll down the summary of every shot attempt and call made. So, for 3 minutes, the Lakers bench stood, and the Houston bench waited 5 minutes and 23 seconds. Nearly half a quarter to get your first make of the year? Pretty rough, but the Rockets now have an 11 point lead with 2:03 left. Anyways, here is four sentences or less about every NBA team, ranked by conference, with playoffs picks. Probably some awards picks as well:
Eastern Conference:
1.) Chicago Bulls
A very solid starting five, and first four off the bench are Thabo, Duhon, Nocioni, and Joe Smith (soon to be replaced by the Red Bull injected into Joakim Noah's veins). If Kobe comes over, there will be a shake up here. I think this team can break through this year, but Kobe isn't a part of it. This roster will do it better.
2.) Detroit Pistons
Coming off of being LeBron James first stepping stone to legend, they got two quality draft picks in Arron Afflalo and Rodney Stuckey who will both learn to take over for Rip and Chauncey. Sheed, Chauncey, Tayshaun, and Rip remain from the title winning starting five. Solid depth at power forward with Dice and Maxiell (both probably also helping spell Nazr Mohammed a lot as there is no other center game-ready on this roster (Talking about you, Cheick Samb, you weigh 195 lbs.)). Definitely a Conference Finals appearance this year, but can they get back over the mountain?
3.) Boston Celtics
I need you to bear with me here: the 2007-08 Celtics are like the band Cream without the conflict between Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce. You have three superstars in their respective positions (Eric Clapton being Ray Allen because he is just virtuoso on threes like Clapton on a Fender, Garnett being Ginger Baker because he's the tallest and Ginger is consistent with rhythm as Garnett is consistent with rebounds, and Paul Pierce as Jack Bruce because he will be setting the tone on this offense: if he can play well, he will make life much easier for Jesus and KG with his ability to slash). The truth is they all need each other, and hopefully, they won't have conflicts amongst them. If that happens, they probably can make it to the Conference Finals. Also, funny white dudes in "Pregame Slam Dunk Display" Scalabrine and Scot " 'do " Pollard.
4.) Cleveland Cavaliers
LeBron of course started his playoff legend with 29 of the Cavs' last 30 on the Pistons in Game 5. Not much change to the roster, which is not helpful to LeBron. LeBron couldn't beat the Spurs because all the attention was on him. A shooter (Had a shot at Michael Redd when he was a free agent in 2005, but it didn't happen (need to pony up some bills)) would be nice, and so would many other players, but Danny Ferry refuses to make cap space and take a chance. So here is a less-than-spectacular season from your 2006-07 Cleveland Cavaliers...in 2007-08.
5.) Orlando Magic
Rashard Lewis at power forward will help key a trip out of the first round for the first time since 1996. Jameer Nelson and Carlos Arroyo need to get the ball to Lewis and Howard early and often for the Magic to play well. Also, one of the funniest things I've ever seen: At Shaq's roast of Emmitt Smith, Guy Torry gave one hell of a performance, and also took a poke at a Maloof brother with a joke about Hedo (it was pulled from YouTube, but if I ever find it, I'll post it here).
6.) Toronto Raptors
No longer the strongest team in the weak Atlantic, but still a solid playoff team. Raided Maccabi Tel-Aviv after the Israeli outfit beat them during the preaseason in 2005 and came back with Maceo Baston and Anthony "My Sis Sure Can Dunk" Parker. Bosh will be First-Team All NBA, and I expect a classic between the Celts and this team in the first round...and I mean series, not just one or two.
7.) Miami Heat
Ricky Davis takes Antoine Walker's spot in the starting lineup, and James Posey, a key contributor from the 2006 title team, is now a Celtic backing up Paul Pierce. Shaq is Shaq, but he's still older. And Wade is just...Wade. No question that will be scary if he's healthy the whole year, which should be possible since he missed the Olympics to rehab his knee and his shoulder.
8.) New Jersey Nets
The Kidd-Jeff-Vince triumvirate returns for another installment of underachieving in the playoffs. Carter returned because he was so terrible in the playoffs. He better show some fight against their first-round tilt, or Vince cannot expect to be the featured player on a contender ever again.
9.) New York Knicks
Who knows if Isiah will even be working by the time the season ends. He already cost the Dolan's $11.6 million by sexually harassing Anucha Browne Sanders, so the pressure to win will be even more heavy for him with Stephon Marbury getting busy with new employees in the back of his car and an otherwise pretty much mediocre lineup with two sparkplugs off the bench in David Lee and Renaldo Balkman. Zach Randolph needs to either dominate the East immediately or else get to Scores while he's supposed to be at a funeral.
10.) Washington Wizards
Big three of Caron, Zero, and Jamison are headed towards not being in the playoffs this year. They're great, but they have Etan Thomas coming off open heart surgery, so only Brendan Haywood is available to start at center. Shooting guard Deshawn "Last Name Tattooed on my Back" Stevenson has 2-3 years before Nick Young should be ready to replace him (more on Mr. Young when I get to the Hornets)
11.) Indiana Pacers
Good enough to be the best of the worst third of the conference, but not ready to breakthrough. Give Granger a season to really start working well of Jermaine O'Neal. Marquis Daniels managed to get a huge deal from the Mavericks and then disappeared after learning he was not going to replace Steve Nash and Devin Harris got drafted. He will not be able to get another contract like what Cuban gave him unless he starts playing like he did in '05-'06. He could also be key to this squad getting to the playoffs if he can regain that form.
12.) Atlanta Hawks
For the first time in a long time, the draft is actually going to make the Hawks better. And by draft I mean the past three. Acie Law IV and Al Horford will be competing for playing time immediately. Joe Johnson will continue to put up numbers as he did for the National Team during the summer, so a possibly very dangerous starting five could emerge by the end of the year with Law at the point, Joe Johnson at the 2, Josh Smith at the 3, Marvin Williams at the 4, and Horford at the 5. Atlanta could make some waves at the end of the year playing some spoiler, but will probably rest these guys and try to make a run next year not hindered by injuries.
13.) Charlotte Bobcats
Is Jason Richardson really the key to this team, key enough to trade away Brandan Wright? MJ sure thinks so, and he also thinks Sam Vincent will do better than Bernie Bickerstaff. I agree with the last part, and I also think Richardson will be able to add some scoring and possibly 1 or 2 steals a game to this team (aka mediocre defense). If you ask me, a step backwards for a young franchise that is struggling to start any sort of winning.
14.) Milwaukee Bucks
Yi Jianlin might need a little bit of time before he can be an effective player as can be seen from his preseason and most of his summer league. Michael Redd is just sick, but not much going on around him except for Mo Williams, who just keeps getting better, and Andrew Bogut, who just keeps getting weirder (http://blog.mlive.com/fullcourtpress/2007/07/andrew_bogut_has_the_nbas_new.html) and seems to lose value a little more each game, and Charlie Villanueva is solid at power forward on offense, but not much time spent playing defense for him.
15.) Philadelphia 76ers
On Comcast SportsNite two days ago (Monday night), they said it would be the first time that the Sixers have started the season without a superstar. No expectations, and a ball-grabber named Reggie Evans was signed. Andre Miller looks better, but is still in terrible shape. Samuel Dalembert is somehow now a Canadian. Kyle Korver still can't play defense. Oh, and Andre Igoudala still hasn't received the Slam Dunk Contest trophy from 2006.
Western Conference
1.) San Antonio Spurs
Last year's champs have the same lineup, but this is not a problem for the Spurs as it is with the team they beat for the title, the Cavs. Darius Washington might be able to stay a Spur all year, if he keeps playing like he did on Opening Night. Duncan is there until 2012, and he won't be stopped until he retires. Back to the Finals is what's expected, and they will probably do so with ease.
2.) Phoenix Suns
Good as ever, and revitalized Grant Hill will definitely be able to help Steve Nash get to the Finals, but Hill cannot get hurt, and he has to be as consistent as he was last year in Orlando. He also has to be good on the defensive end if the Suns want to go deep in the playoffs.
3.) Utah Jazz
Defense. AK-47 was ridiculous last night swatting 5 Golden State shots last night. Deron Williams had 24 points on 8-15 shooting and 8 assists, basically numbers every coach would love from their 1. Maybe this year, when Mehmet Okur d's up Tim Duncan, the rest of the Jazz could d up the rest of the Spurs, and maybe they could win the series...but only if that second part happens.
4.) Dallas Mavericks
Only here because of last year's first round. The Mavs were shown to be beatable by the Warriors last year after the great season, and it just really took away from their rep coming into this year (easily dealt with the Cavs earlier tonight, but when they play a team that improved from last year or maintained a solid lineup, I wouldn't bet on the Mavs). Nick Fazekas looks to learn to prepare himself to take over at awkward yet effective and very skilled big white dude for the Mavs.
5.) Houston Rockets
Tracy McGrady looks to fulfill his destiny as Harry Potter
(http://manualbuzzer.blogspot.com/2007/07/harry-potter-5-told-using-current.html) and get past the first round. Luis Scola is 27, yet still looking to win the Rookie of the Year award. I'll tell you why they fired Van Gundy. He gets so tied up in his emotions and forgets to do stuff, like coach McGrady out of the first round, just as he had to watch Hoosiers in that NBA on ESPN commercial and not drive the RV.
6.) Denver Nuggets
AI and Carmelo needed a summer to get better, and there will definitely be improvement for them this year. Nene and a supposedly healthy Kenyon Martin platooning at power forward will be tough to handle. And Marcus Camby, Defensive Player of the Year? The bench is otherwise thin, and Steve Blake's shooting will be missed. JR Smith's return to the lineup will be the most important factor this year. If JR can return to pre-brawl form (16.7PPG and shot 45.8% from 3 in 9 games in December), the Nuggets can probably move up a few spots on this list.
7.) Los Angeles Lakers
As long as Kobe plays here, he will try to win. It's just his nature. No matter how bad Kwame Brown is, no matter how little talent is around him, Kobe finds a way. He found a way to put up 81 on the Raptors in 2006, so he'll find a way to make this team win. If Andrew Bynum can play some defense, look for this team to get a few wins.
8.) Sacramento Kings
The Kings starters intrigue me, but their bench just makes me giggle. Mikki Moore was good in the East, but the Kings will get a rude awakening when he doesn't play like he did in East Rutherford.
9.) Golden State Warriors
I am having some doubts about the Warriors after they got shelled by the Jazz. They need a consistent double-digit rebounder and to cap opponent scoring at around 100 to be able to be consistently in contention. Otherwise, the Baron will just end up having to get them in during the last game of the year.
10.) New Orleans Hornets
David West, CP3 and Tyson Chandler are a solid core to build around, but the Hornets definitely should have taken Nick Young instead of Julian Wright at 13. That would have made this team extremely dangerous with Young's amazing shooting-slashing balance. Young is in Washington, so I don't expect the Hornets to make much noise in the West. How touching that the Hornets will play in New Orleans for 41 home games. Don't give Oklahoma City a basketball team, it would make everything really weird.
11.) Portland Trail Blazers
LaMarcus Aldridge looked amazing last night, scoring 27 but pulling only 3 boards. Even without Oden, the Blazers looked really good. Good enough to not have that good a chance to win the lottery this year. Brandon Roy was limited by Bruce Bowen but still managed to get 6 assists and 5 rebounds. He will be a solid player this year, but he will definitely become a perennial All-Star type player if he keeps playing good defense and stays consistent on offense. Also, playing more than 70 games would be ideal.
12.) Memphis Grizzlies
Mike Conley Jr. is not starting yet for the Grizz, but Iavaroni is getting him ready to play the role Steve Nash did in Phoenix. Conley will need to learn to shoot to give him that dimension that Nash has, but otherwise, he's not playing just because he needs to learn this offense. He will have weapons if Rudy Gay learns to play hard, which he seems to have not done since he was in high school. Darko? What the fuck?
13.) Los Angeles Clippers
The Clippers go as Elton Brand's ACL goes. Thornton should be a nice small silver lining to Brand's dark cloud.
14.) Seattle SuperSonics
Well, Kevin Durant is a hucker. And Jeff Green should be pretty good. People in Boston will regret not having him when the Big Three retire.
15.) Minnesota Timberwolves
You were so pathetic that you had to trade away the best player in your franchise's history. You'll also probably end up seeing that as a curse. This team could get interesting next year when these guys have a year together under their belts. Pretty youthful team with the trading away of Ricky Davis. Hopefully Antoine doesn't look around and decide to shoot a 3 every time down the floor, but that's probably what will happen.
Playoffs:
Eastern Conference Finals: Celtics over Pistons 4-3
Yeah, classic.
Western Conference Finals: Spurs over Suns 4-3
Yeah, Spurs always win.
Finals: Spurs over Celtics 4-2
Maybe the Big Three can pull off 2, but the Spurs have a much more dangerous team that involves five players working together than the Celtics dependence on three.
Awards:
MVP: Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
Dirk did not deserve it when Nash had the best year of his career after being MVP twice. Kobe will round out the top 3 in voting as he continues to carry the Lakers.
ROY: Al Thornton, Los Angeles Clippers
With Elton out for a long time, the former Seminole should take on a load of the scoring and probably get some good stats for the lowly Clips.
Sixth Man of the Year: Leandro Barbosa, Phoenix Suns
He consistently is putting up huge numbers off the bench, and Boris Diaw will challenge him for the award as he platoons the 3 with Grant Hill, currently listed as the second best on the depth chart. Wait, wouldn't one of these guys be considered a seventh man and therefore not be eligible for the award?
Coach of the Year: Scott Skiles, Chicago Bulls
Basically, if they get the best record in the East, Skiles will be considered a genius and run away with the award. But if he doesn't, Bob Swerski and Todd O'Connor will shove a rack of baby-back ribs, whole, down his throat, killing him immediately of a few heart attacks. They also demand that the Bulls have an average winning margin of +103.6.
That's all, enjoy it while you can, because soon college basketball (AND A COLLEGE BASKETBALL PREVIEW) will be coming our way soon, and we'll forget about the NBA, and everybody will start to not play hard until the season is almost done.
As you can see, it takes a while for the bold print (aka made basket) to appear as you scroll down the summary of every shot attempt and call made. So, for 3 minutes, the Lakers bench stood, and the Houston bench waited 5 minutes and 23 seconds. Nearly half a quarter to get your first make of the year? Pretty rough, but the Rockets now have an 11 point lead with 2:03 left. Anyways, here is four sentences or less about every NBA team, ranked by conference, with playoffs picks. Probably some awards picks as well:
Eastern Conference:
1.) Chicago Bulls
A very solid starting five, and first four off the bench are Thabo, Duhon, Nocioni, and Joe Smith (soon to be replaced by the Red Bull injected into Joakim Noah's veins). If Kobe comes over, there will be a shake up here. I think this team can break through this year, but Kobe isn't a part of it. This roster will do it better.
2.) Detroit Pistons
Coming off of being LeBron James first stepping stone to legend, they got two quality draft picks in Arron Afflalo and Rodney Stuckey who will both learn to take over for Rip and Chauncey. Sheed, Chauncey, Tayshaun, and Rip remain from the title winning starting five. Solid depth at power forward with Dice and Maxiell (both probably also helping spell Nazr Mohammed a lot as there is no other center game-ready on this roster (Talking about you, Cheick Samb, you weigh 195 lbs.)). Definitely a Conference Finals appearance this year, but can they get back over the mountain?
3.) Boston Celtics
I need you to bear with me here: the 2007-08 Celtics are like the band Cream without the conflict between Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce. You have three superstars in their respective positions (Eric Clapton being Ray Allen because he is just virtuoso on threes like Clapton on a Fender, Garnett being Ginger Baker because he's the tallest and Ginger is consistent with rhythm as Garnett is consistent with rebounds, and Paul Pierce as Jack Bruce because he will be setting the tone on this offense: if he can play well, he will make life much easier for Jesus and KG with his ability to slash). The truth is they all need each other, and hopefully, they won't have conflicts amongst them. If that happens, they probably can make it to the Conference Finals. Also, funny white dudes in "Pregame Slam Dunk Display" Scalabrine and Scot " 'do " Pollard.
4.) Cleveland Cavaliers
LeBron of course started his playoff legend with 29 of the Cavs' last 30 on the Pistons in Game 5. Not much change to the roster, which is not helpful to LeBron. LeBron couldn't beat the Spurs because all the attention was on him. A shooter (Had a shot at Michael Redd when he was a free agent in 2005, but it didn't happen (need to pony up some bills)) would be nice, and so would many other players, but Danny Ferry refuses to make cap space and take a chance. So here is a less-than-spectacular season from your 2006-07 Cleveland Cavaliers...in 2007-08.
5.) Orlando Magic
Rashard Lewis at power forward will help key a trip out of the first round for the first time since 1996. Jameer Nelson and Carlos Arroyo need to get the ball to Lewis and Howard early and often for the Magic to play well. Also, one of the funniest things I've ever seen: At Shaq's roast of Emmitt Smith, Guy Torry gave one hell of a performance, and also took a poke at a Maloof brother with a joke about Hedo (it was pulled from YouTube, but if I ever find it, I'll post it here).
6.) Toronto Raptors
No longer the strongest team in the weak Atlantic, but still a solid playoff team. Raided Maccabi Tel-Aviv after the Israeli outfit beat them during the preaseason in 2005 and came back with Maceo Baston and Anthony "My Sis Sure Can Dunk" Parker. Bosh will be First-Team All NBA, and I expect a classic between the Celts and this team in the first round...and I mean series, not just one or two.
7.) Miami Heat
Ricky Davis takes Antoine Walker's spot in the starting lineup, and James Posey, a key contributor from the 2006 title team, is now a Celtic backing up Paul Pierce. Shaq is Shaq, but he's still older. And Wade is just...Wade. No question that will be scary if he's healthy the whole year, which should be possible since he missed the Olympics to rehab his knee and his shoulder.
8.) New Jersey Nets
The Kidd-Jeff-Vince triumvirate returns for another installment of underachieving in the playoffs. Carter returned because he was so terrible in the playoffs. He better show some fight against their first-round tilt, or Vince cannot expect to be the featured player on a contender ever again.
9.) New York Knicks
Who knows if Isiah will even be working by the time the season ends. He already cost the Dolan's $11.6 million by sexually harassing Anucha Browne Sanders, so the pressure to win will be even more heavy for him with Stephon Marbury getting busy with new employees in the back of his car and an otherwise pretty much mediocre lineup with two sparkplugs off the bench in David Lee and Renaldo Balkman. Zach Randolph needs to either dominate the East immediately or else get to Scores while he's supposed to be at a funeral.
10.) Washington Wizards
Big three of Caron, Zero, and Jamison are headed towards not being in the playoffs this year. They're great, but they have Etan Thomas coming off open heart surgery, so only Brendan Haywood is available to start at center. Shooting guard Deshawn "Last Name Tattooed on my Back" Stevenson has 2-3 years before Nick Young should be ready to replace him (more on Mr. Young when I get to the Hornets)
11.) Indiana Pacers
Good enough to be the best of the worst third of the conference, but not ready to breakthrough. Give Granger a season to really start working well of Jermaine O'Neal. Marquis Daniels managed to get a huge deal from the Mavericks and then disappeared after learning he was not going to replace Steve Nash and Devin Harris got drafted. He will not be able to get another contract like what Cuban gave him unless he starts playing like he did in '05-'06. He could also be key to this squad getting to the playoffs if he can regain that form.
12.) Atlanta Hawks
For the first time in a long time, the draft is actually going to make the Hawks better. And by draft I mean the past three. Acie Law IV and Al Horford will be competing for playing time immediately. Joe Johnson will continue to put up numbers as he did for the National Team during the summer, so a possibly very dangerous starting five could emerge by the end of the year with Law at the point, Joe Johnson at the 2, Josh Smith at the 3, Marvin Williams at the 4, and Horford at the 5. Atlanta could make some waves at the end of the year playing some spoiler, but will probably rest these guys and try to make a run next year not hindered by injuries.
13.) Charlotte Bobcats
Is Jason Richardson really the key to this team, key enough to trade away Brandan Wright? MJ sure thinks so, and he also thinks Sam Vincent will do better than Bernie Bickerstaff. I agree with the last part, and I also think Richardson will be able to add some scoring and possibly 1 or 2 steals a game to this team (aka mediocre defense). If you ask me, a step backwards for a young franchise that is struggling to start any sort of winning.
14.) Milwaukee Bucks
Yi Jianlin might need a little bit of time before he can be an effective player as can be seen from his preseason and most of his summer league. Michael Redd is just sick, but not much going on around him except for Mo Williams, who just keeps getting better, and Andrew Bogut, who just keeps getting weirder (http://blog.mlive.com/fullcourtpress/2007/07/andrew_bogut_has_the_nbas_new.html) and seems to lose value a little more each game, and Charlie Villanueva is solid at power forward on offense, but not much time spent playing defense for him.
15.) Philadelphia 76ers
On Comcast SportsNite two days ago (Monday night), they said it would be the first time that the Sixers have started the season without a superstar. No expectations, and a ball-grabber named Reggie Evans was signed. Andre Miller looks better, but is still in terrible shape. Samuel Dalembert is somehow now a Canadian. Kyle Korver still can't play defense. Oh, and Andre Igoudala still hasn't received the Slam Dunk Contest trophy from 2006.
Western Conference
1.) San Antonio Spurs
Last year's champs have the same lineup, but this is not a problem for the Spurs as it is with the team they beat for the title, the Cavs. Darius Washington might be able to stay a Spur all year, if he keeps playing like he did on Opening Night. Duncan is there until 2012, and he won't be stopped until he retires. Back to the Finals is what's expected, and they will probably do so with ease.
2.) Phoenix Suns
Good as ever, and revitalized Grant Hill will definitely be able to help Steve Nash get to the Finals, but Hill cannot get hurt, and he has to be as consistent as he was last year in Orlando. He also has to be good on the defensive end if the Suns want to go deep in the playoffs.
3.) Utah Jazz
Defense. AK-47 was ridiculous last night swatting 5 Golden State shots last night. Deron Williams had 24 points on 8-15 shooting and 8 assists, basically numbers every coach would love from their 1. Maybe this year, when Mehmet Okur d's up Tim Duncan, the rest of the Jazz could d up the rest of the Spurs, and maybe they could win the series...but only if that second part happens.
4.) Dallas Mavericks
Only here because of last year's first round. The Mavs were shown to be beatable by the Warriors last year after the great season, and it just really took away from their rep coming into this year (easily dealt with the Cavs earlier tonight, but when they play a team that improved from last year or maintained a solid lineup, I wouldn't bet on the Mavs). Nick Fazekas looks to learn to prepare himself to take over at awkward yet effective and very skilled big white dude for the Mavs.
5.) Houston Rockets
Tracy McGrady looks to fulfill his destiny as Harry Potter
(http://manualbuzzer.blogspot.com/2007/07/harry-potter-5-told-using-current.html) and get past the first round. Luis Scola is 27, yet still looking to win the Rookie of the Year award. I'll tell you why they fired Van Gundy. He gets so tied up in his emotions and forgets to do stuff, like coach McGrady out of the first round, just as he had to watch Hoosiers in that NBA on ESPN commercial and not drive the RV.
6.) Denver Nuggets
AI and Carmelo needed a summer to get better, and there will definitely be improvement for them this year. Nene and a supposedly healthy Kenyon Martin platooning at power forward will be tough to handle. And Marcus Camby, Defensive Player of the Year? The bench is otherwise thin, and Steve Blake's shooting will be missed. JR Smith's return to the lineup will be the most important factor this year. If JR can return to pre-brawl form (16.7PPG and shot 45.8% from 3 in 9 games in December), the Nuggets can probably move up a few spots on this list.
7.) Los Angeles Lakers
As long as Kobe plays here, he will try to win. It's just his nature. No matter how bad Kwame Brown is, no matter how little talent is around him, Kobe finds a way. He found a way to put up 81 on the Raptors in 2006, so he'll find a way to make this team win. If Andrew Bynum can play some defense, look for this team to get a few wins.
8.) Sacramento Kings
The Kings starters intrigue me, but their bench just makes me giggle. Mikki Moore was good in the East, but the Kings will get a rude awakening when he doesn't play like he did in East Rutherford.
9.) Golden State Warriors
I am having some doubts about the Warriors after they got shelled by the Jazz. They need a consistent double-digit rebounder and to cap opponent scoring at around 100 to be able to be consistently in contention. Otherwise, the Baron will just end up having to get them in during the last game of the year.
10.) New Orleans Hornets
David West, CP3 and Tyson Chandler are a solid core to build around, but the Hornets definitely should have taken Nick Young instead of Julian Wright at 13. That would have made this team extremely dangerous with Young's amazing shooting-slashing balance. Young is in Washington, so I don't expect the Hornets to make much noise in the West. How touching that the Hornets will play in New Orleans for 41 home games. Don't give Oklahoma City a basketball team, it would make everything really weird.
11.) Portland Trail Blazers
LaMarcus Aldridge looked amazing last night, scoring 27 but pulling only 3 boards. Even without Oden, the Blazers looked really good. Good enough to not have that good a chance to win the lottery this year. Brandon Roy was limited by Bruce Bowen but still managed to get 6 assists and 5 rebounds. He will be a solid player this year, but he will definitely become a perennial All-Star type player if he keeps playing good defense and stays consistent on offense. Also, playing more than 70 games would be ideal.
12.) Memphis Grizzlies
Mike Conley Jr. is not starting yet for the Grizz, but Iavaroni is getting him ready to play the role Steve Nash did in Phoenix. Conley will need to learn to shoot to give him that dimension that Nash has, but otherwise, he's not playing just because he needs to learn this offense. He will have weapons if Rudy Gay learns to play hard, which he seems to have not done since he was in high school. Darko? What the fuck?
13.) Los Angeles Clippers
The Clippers go as Elton Brand's ACL goes. Thornton should be a nice small silver lining to Brand's dark cloud.
14.) Seattle SuperSonics
Well, Kevin Durant is a hucker. And Jeff Green should be pretty good. People in Boston will regret not having him when the Big Three retire.
15.) Minnesota Timberwolves
You were so pathetic that you had to trade away the best player in your franchise's history. You'll also probably end up seeing that as a curse. This team could get interesting next year when these guys have a year together under their belts. Pretty youthful team with the trading away of Ricky Davis. Hopefully Antoine doesn't look around and decide to shoot a 3 every time down the floor, but that's probably what will happen.
Playoffs:
Eastern Conference Finals: Celtics over Pistons 4-3
Yeah, classic.
Western Conference Finals: Spurs over Suns 4-3
Yeah, Spurs always win.
Finals: Spurs over Celtics 4-2
Maybe the Big Three can pull off 2, but the Spurs have a much more dangerous team that involves five players working together than the Celtics dependence on three.
Awards:
MVP: Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
Dirk did not deserve it when Nash had the best year of his career after being MVP twice. Kobe will round out the top 3 in voting as he continues to carry the Lakers.
ROY: Al Thornton, Los Angeles Clippers
With Elton out for a long time, the former Seminole should take on a load of the scoring and probably get some good stats for the lowly Clips.
Sixth Man of the Year: Leandro Barbosa, Phoenix Suns
He consistently is putting up huge numbers off the bench, and Boris Diaw will challenge him for the award as he platoons the 3 with Grant Hill, currently listed as the second best on the depth chart. Wait, wouldn't one of these guys be considered a seventh man and therefore not be eligible for the award?
Coach of the Year: Scott Skiles, Chicago Bulls
Basically, if they get the best record in the East, Skiles will be considered a genius and run away with the award. But if he doesn't, Bob Swerski and Todd O'Connor will shove a rack of baby-back ribs, whole, down his throat, killing him immediately of a few heart attacks. They also demand that the Bulls have an average winning margin of +103.6.
That's all, enjoy it while you can, because soon college basketball (AND A COLLEGE BASKETBALL PREVIEW) will be coming our way soon, and we'll forget about the NBA, and everybody will start to not play hard until the season is almost done.
Oct 27, 2007
ESPN Classic Aims to Curse the Red Sox
Check out this schedule of games where teams have rallied back from deficits in World Series:
8:00AM: Who's #1? Game Winners: They probably won't show Ill-bay Uckner-bay, but don't game winning plays always make you think of game losing plays?
1:00PM: 1968 World Series Game 1: Tigers at Cardinals: This one was sort of a miracle: the Tigers went 1-2 at home, but somehow were able to win all 4 games played at Busch Memorial. Be scared of miracles.
2:00PM: 1969 World Series Game 5: Orioles at Mets: "Miracle Mets" went 100-62 after going .348 from 1962, their first year in existence, and 1968. The Mets also had a miraculous downfall this year. Lots of miracles floating around this one.
3:00PM: 1971 World Series: Pirates vs. Orioles: not sure which game is on: Orioles, the defending champs (as well as obviously being the favorite), came back from being down 2-0 to win in 7. I think I heard about a World Series that started out like that pretty recently...
6:30PM: 1986 World Series Game 7: Red Sox at Mets: Bringing this game up in conversation with a Red Sox fan is like bringing up the fact that someone got crabs from a hooker: you just don't talk about past losses like that when you're trying to get another championship. So basically, ESPN Classic will have 0 viewers at this time in the Boston metropolitan area and most of New England.
7:00PM: 2001 World Series Game 7: Yankees at Diamondbacks: You guys are starting to look like you are going to start winning like that team you really hate...yeah...so don't try to win too many times, because then you could end up signing Kevin Brown and destroying your abilities.
But don't forget about 63 at 10:00PM. Even though Jordan dropped that number on a Boston sports team, that Boston sports team still won! So, if Matt Holliday manages to score another run while not touch home plate, maybe the Red Sox can still have a chance to win somehow.
8:00AM: Who's #1? Game Winners: They probably won't show Ill-bay Uckner-bay, but don't game winning plays always make you think of game losing plays?
1:00PM: 1968 World Series Game 1: Tigers at Cardinals: This one was sort of a miracle: the Tigers went 1-2 at home, but somehow were able to win all 4 games played at Busch Memorial. Be scared of miracles.
2:00PM: 1969 World Series Game 5: Orioles at Mets: "Miracle Mets" went 100-62 after going .348 from 1962, their first year in existence, and 1968. The Mets also had a miraculous downfall this year. Lots of miracles floating around this one.
3:00PM: 1971 World Series: Pirates vs. Orioles: not sure which game is on: Orioles, the defending champs (as well as obviously being the favorite), came back from being down 2-0 to win in 7. I think I heard about a World Series that started out like that pretty recently...
6:30PM: 1986 World Series Game 7: Red Sox at Mets: Bringing this game up in conversation with a Red Sox fan is like bringing up the fact that someone got crabs from a hooker: you just don't talk about past losses like that when you're trying to get another championship. So basically, ESPN Classic will have 0 viewers at this time in the Boston metropolitan area and most of New England.
7:00PM: 2001 World Series Game 7: Yankees at Diamondbacks: You guys are starting to look like you are going to start winning like that team you really hate...yeah...so don't try to win too many times, because then you could end up signing Kevin Brown and destroying your abilities.
But don't forget about 63 at 10:00PM. Even though Jordan dropped that number on a Boston sports team, that Boston sports team still won! So, if Matt Holliday manages to score another run while not touch home plate, maybe the Red Sox can still have a chance to win somehow.
Oct 24, 2007
Rutgers Proves that ESPN is a False Prophet and also a Fascist Government. Plus, Joe Buck and
Tomorrow night, for the second time in two weeks, Boston College will be the second #2 BCS team to play on Thursday against a very worthy and ranked conference opponent on ESPN. Oh, and two #2 teams were upset in the two weeks before, as both USC (to Stanford) and Cal (to Oregon State) fell to unranked opponents. Last week, of course, unbeaten South Florida lost possibly the best game of the year to Rutgers. Now the greatest SportsCenter commercial ever:
I did just digress right there, but for good reason. ESPN is like the English government in V for Vendetta (If you haven't seen it yet, PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO STOP READING THIS). One dude releases a virus, then a little while later, they also release the cure and force the citizens to get involved in this ridiculous At 17 seconds in, you see the Rutgers Scarlet Knight pulling a Josh Thomas on Josh the Husky (official name, which probably makes some kids think to back in the day at JC Penney, me included). ESPN told us that this was a sign of the apocalypse, but now it is real. Though not in basketball, Rutgers has somehow risen to become a contender for the Big East football crown. I actually thought the apocalypse would come when Syracuse lost to Rutgers in 2003 for the first time in 3000 years and Rich Scanlon tried to kill a Syracuse fan in the crowd who was yelling at his mom. Then again, I thought it would happen when Herve Lamizana banked in a 3 to beat Syracuse at the RAC earlier that year, but then they won the national title. My point is: Rutgers came the fuck out of nowhere, bringing in miracle man Greg Schiano, and we are all shocked. ESPN took advantage of our shock and now makes us listen to every expert's pick because it could be another apocalypse. We need to reject them. If we do not, they will destroy sports. Mark Schlereth already has started to destroy sports by not playing himself in a cameo on a soap opera as Roc Hoover. How sporty is that? On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being shaving legs for smoothness and 10 being a bone-jarring hit, I'll have to go with a -2.5. And Steve Phillips with his pretending to be GM of every team in the MLB? Steve Phillips signed Mo Vaughn to his Mets contract, end of story. Subway Series means jack shit, buddy, because the Yankees rocked "your" Mets. Remember my warning to you all: watch out for the beast that is ESPN.
Other news: Within the span of one half inning, Joe Buck and dugout reporter Michael Rosenberg of FOX made terrible identification errors and were not crrected by others or themselves. In the bottom of the 4th, Joe Buck first claimed that Dustin Pedroia, whose stats were at the bottom of the screen, was Jacoby Ellsbury. And then Michael Rosenberg claimed that the Rockies played the Cubs in the NLDS. This is my formal request for Tim McCarver to grow a cerebrum and some balls.
I'm off to Imaginationland. PEACE!
I did just digress right there, but for good reason. ESPN is like the English government in V for Vendetta (If you haven't seen it yet, PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO STOP READING THIS). One dude releases a virus, then a little while later, they also release the cure and force the citizens to get involved in this ridiculous At 17 seconds in, you see the Rutgers Scarlet Knight pulling a Josh Thomas on Josh the Husky (official name, which probably makes some kids think to back in the day at JC Penney, me included). ESPN told us that this was a sign of the apocalypse, but now it is real. Though not in basketball, Rutgers has somehow risen to become a contender for the Big East football crown. I actually thought the apocalypse would come when Syracuse lost to Rutgers in 2003 for the first time in 3000 years and Rich Scanlon tried to kill a Syracuse fan in the crowd who was yelling at his mom. Then again, I thought it would happen when Herve Lamizana banked in a 3 to beat Syracuse at the RAC earlier that year, but then they won the national title. My point is: Rutgers came the fuck out of nowhere, bringing in miracle man Greg Schiano, and we are all shocked. ESPN took advantage of our shock and now makes us listen to every expert's pick because it could be another apocalypse. We need to reject them. If we do not, they will destroy sports. Mark Schlereth already has started to destroy sports by not playing himself in a cameo on a soap opera as Roc Hoover. How sporty is that? On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being shaving legs for smoothness and 10 being a bone-jarring hit, I'll have to go with a -2.5. And Steve Phillips with his pretending to be GM of every team in the MLB? Steve Phillips signed Mo Vaughn to his Mets contract, end of story. Subway Series means jack shit, buddy, because the Yankees rocked "your" Mets. Remember my warning to you all: watch out for the beast that is ESPN.
Other news: Within the span of one half inning, Joe Buck and dugout reporter Michael Rosenberg of FOX made terrible identification errors and were not crrected by others or themselves. In the bottom of the 4th, Joe Buck first claimed that Dustin Pedroia, whose stats were at the bottom of the screen, was Jacoby Ellsbury. And then Michael Rosenberg claimed that the Rockies played the Cubs in the NLDS. This is my formal request for Tim McCarver to grow a cerebrum and some balls.
I'm off to Imaginationland. PEACE!
Oct 19, 2007
Long Overdue Notice that Makes the Isiah Trial Even Funnier
As we continue to laugh at Isiah's ridiculous actions that were made public knowledge 3 weeks ago, we can find one more thing that just makes this sort of sad: Isiah Thomas' son, Josh, who goes by the handle "Little Zeke" (Really, do you think you can assume any position of team building or management by using the nickname of the worst executive in NBA history?), doesn't like gay people and the way they talk to him. According to an anonymous source who was a freshman at the same time as Little Team Destroyer at George Washington University in 2006-07, Josh came back drunk to his room last year, where his roommate was up (oh, and also gay). He started talking to Josh, but Josh thought he was coming on to him, and proceeded to beat the shit out of him. Injury details weren't given, but it was reportedly pretty gruesome. Josh is probably now back in New York helping to quicken the downfall of the Knicks. Oh, and I can't wait for the sexual harassment suit from the gay MSG employee.
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