LeBron James can never be in consideration for best player of all time.

A few things about the presentation of this decision that was the obvious product of focus groups that proved Cleveland easily discomforts people.

First off, Bing. Why would anyone use Bing now? That has to look like the crappiest place to plug such a crappy site. He'll end up like that Mexican landowner and lose his wife and mistress to somebody like Kirk Hinrich. That hypothetical situation is of course the inspiration for the above Microsoft Paint job. I probably could have found a better moustache, but this shit just makes me happy. Anyways, guess where I found the above picture pre-terrible editing? You guessed it, Alta Vista...yeah, it was Google.

And why Jim Gray for these sensitive situations? Are we still forgetting when Jim Gray made an ass of himself in asking Pete Rose at the 1999 All-Star Game. Let us revisit:

How fun is that? He doesn't want to talk about it, his CAREER IS BEING CELEBRATED!!!! But sure let's just KEEP ASKING HIM. Jim Gray, the most illogical choice for interviewer since...ever. I also like when Rose accidentally says he is getting "a great Asian" from the crowd.

I hope that LeBron reconsiders making his off-season home in Ohio. He did bring some great years to the Cavs, but Craig Ehlo and Brad Daugherty did too. He may have made his name for himself as the best high school player ever, but who cares? It means nothing when you get to the NBA. Remember DeAngelo Collins? Not sure where he was watching this, but I'm betting it wasn't in a McMansion. LeBron is just another NBA player now. He may be popular, but by no means is he a leader. And I just don't buy that these guys can share the ball and get a title the way the Celtics did in 2008. Wade and LeBron are just too ball dominant, and Bosh was only an All-Star because he repped Canada hard. I just can't stomach this team winning on common sense.

The Clippers could have been his opportunity to showcase himself in a global market and play on a damn competent team where he would be first fiddle, with him at the 3 and surrounded by Baron Davis at the 1, Eric Gordon at the 2, a hopefully healthy Blake Griffin at the 4, and Chris Kaman aka Albino Zombie aka "DEY NO NASSING, LE-BAH-SKEE" at the 5. Alas, one of the other teams in contention for LeBron, the Bulls recently fired the coach the Clippers just chose, Vinny Del Negro, who proved himself to have very little ability last season. Way to fuck up, Donald Sterling. One day, you'll learn to care. Nevermind, that will never happen.

And what of New York? Carmelo could still be available next summer, and Amar'e will be most likely going it alone until then since no one else will be available. Denver hasn't been exactly active this summer in pursuing a big gun. But Melo could be out for vengeance this year, as his Olympic buddies have left him out.

Anthony Randolph will be joining the Knicks as David Lee leaves for The Bay to inflate his stats even more under Don Nelson. This could be time for Randolph to come into his own, just as Chris Webber needed Nellie's yolk removed before he could rise to near MVP heights as he did in the late 1990's.

Anyways, I am finally inspired to hate a team as much as I hated the Spurs whenever the won a title. If you play the Heat this season, I'm cheering for you. LeBron, I hope you never win a title. And that your new stepfather is named Delonte West.