Rutgers Proves that ESPN is a False Prophet and also a Fascist Government. Plus, Joe Buck and

Tomorrow night, for the second time in two weeks, Boston College will be the second #2 BCS team to play on Thursday against a very worthy and ranked conference opponent on ESPN. Oh, and two #2 teams were upset in the two weeks before, as both USC (to Stanford) and Cal (to Oregon State) fell to unranked opponents. Last week, of course, unbeaten South Florida lost possibly the best game of the year to Rutgers. Now the greatest SportsCenter commercial ever:



I did just digress right there, but for good reason. ESPN is like the English government in V for Vendetta (If you haven't seen it yet, PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO STOP READING THIS). One dude releases a virus, then a little while later, they also release the cure and force the citizens to get involved in this ridiculous At 17 seconds in, you see the Rutgers Scarlet Knight pulling a Josh Thomas on Josh the Husky (official name, which probably makes some kids think to back in the day at JC Penney, me included). ESPN told us that this was a sign of the apocalypse, but now it is real. Though not in basketball, Rutgers has somehow risen to become a contender for the Big East football crown. I actually thought the apocalypse would come when Syracuse lost to Rutgers in 2003 for the first time in 3000 years and Rich Scanlon tried to kill a Syracuse fan in the crowd who was yelling at his mom. Then again, I thought it would happen when Herve Lamizana banked in a 3 to beat Syracuse at the RAC earlier that year, but then they won the national title. My point is: Rutgers came the fuck out of nowhere, bringing in miracle man Greg Schiano, and we are all shocked. ESPN took advantage of our shock and now makes us listen to every expert's pick because it could be another apocalypse. We need to reject them. If we do not, they will destroy sports. Mark Schlereth already has started to destroy sports by not playing himself in a cameo on a soap opera as Roc Hoover. How sporty is that? On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being shaving legs for smoothness and 10 being a bone-jarring hit, I'll have to go with a -2.5. And Steve Phillips with his pretending to be GM of every team in the MLB? Steve Phillips signed Mo Vaughn to his Mets contract, end of story. Subway Series means jack shit, buddy, because the Yankees rocked "your" Mets. Remember my warning to you all: watch out for the beast that is ESPN.

Other news: Within the span of one half inning, Joe Buck and dugout reporter Michael Rosenberg of FOX made terrible identification errors and were not crrected by others or themselves. In the bottom of the 4th, Joe Buck first claimed that Dustin Pedroia, whose stats were at the bottom of the screen, was Jacoby Ellsbury. And then Michael Rosenberg claimed that the Rockies played the Cubs in the NLDS. This is my formal request for Tim McCarver to grow a cerebrum and some balls.

I'm off to Imaginationland. PEACE!