I am officially declaring that the worst on-air job belongs to Jimmy Dykes. A man who was once an assistant coach at Kentucky, Arkansas (where he also played for three years after managing his freshmen year), and Oklahoma State, as well as a scout for the Seattle Sonics, probably thought he would have smooth sailing working for ESPN with a focus on college basketball, which is his specialty. His assignment today, which he also had last year, was very far from that as he covered the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island. Dykes was somehow the sideline reporter/technique expert/sports field-of-play analogy mathematician and it made me ask myself the question, "How far up Jimmy Dykes' ass is the WWL?" I believe the answer is very far. They make people do this on what is traditionally a day off? Yes, they do. I'm sure it would be fun as a spectator, but to make Dykes line up next to a bunch of hot dogs and tell people how long it takes to eat them, or how long, end-to-end all the hot dogs Chestnut and Kobayashi are going to eat will be? Mr. Dykes, I'm very sorry about your career.
A few other things:
-Crazy Legs Conti is the "Hot Brisket Buffet World Champion." Does that mean there is a running portion to the event? Are contestants encouraged to walk in order to avoid a "reversal of fortune"?
-ESPN showed clips from the Wii game of competitive eating and Tim Janus seemed to be talking about the realism. Really? I don't think you have to eat 50 Wii remotes before a reversal of fortune.
-A 5 dog eat-off was probably just made up on the spot. I don't think there is a rule book that says "in case of a tie..." More like they turned to the guy with the white hat and said, "They tied, what the fuck do we do now?"
-And finally, the best clip of television ever broadcasted on MTV that isn't Jackass or Rob and Big:
It's possible to die from eating. But I think, to be a professional means you don't die. Have a happy rest of your Independence Day, we'll be back.
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